All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral or fattening.-Alexander woollcott attributed.
April 10th, 1978
I almost forgot. With the color prank there was a poem
That James made up. I am really quite fond of this
Poem so I can't believe I forgot it. It should be in here
As a tribute.
There once was a boy named Snivellus.
His look it was quite minevolous.
Whenever he saw me
He cried for his mommy
And ran off to hide far away.
This still makes me laugh so hard I pee my pants!
Padfoot.
June 1978
Ok. This has got to be the best prank we will ever pull
off. Sadly it was not myself that came up with this prank.
Believe it or not it was Moony's plan and potion. Now as
Everyone should know, Peter is the follower, James and I
Are the pranksters and Moony? Well Remus was always
The cautious one. So for him to come up with a plan like
This was nothing short of amazing. It took me a while to
Get him to tell me what is the potion and but I was finally
Able to coax it out of him. So here it is: (proceeds to
Describe potion and catalyst ingredients and the directions
As well) now what is supposed to happen (so Moony tells
Me) is once combined these two will cause Snivellus's
Clothing to, well the best way that I can describe it here
Is to disappear. We will be doing this at kings cross while
We get off the train. Oh man this is going to be great!
Well good luck to all of you future pranksters.
Padfoot and the Marauders.
Astra had stopped when she read this last entry.
'This is it!' she thought gleefully. 'This is the coup de grace to get Sarul with!' She re-read the ingredients. She thanked Merlin that she either had or could get all of it rather easily. It would be so easy to create the potion. This was her ultimate prank and Sarul would never know what hit him.
Astra would once again need to recruit Harry for this prank. She knew that this being lunch time he would be in the great hall. Astra walked into the great hall and spotted Harry immediately.
"I need your help." She whispered as she sat down. "Again?" Harry muttered in surprise.
Astra nodded. "Can we talk in private?" "Now?" Harry stammered. "Can't it wait?"
"No." Astra got up and tugged Harry's arm. "It has to be now." Harry allowed himself to be pulled out of his seat and followed her out the door.
Snape watched the pair leave. 'Ok that's it!' he thought angrily as he pushed himself out of his seat and followed the two. 'There is no way in bloody hell I am going to allow this to continue!'
"Potter!" Snape growled. "What in bloody hell do you think you are doing?" Harry turned to face Snape. "Professor, I have no idea what you mean."
"If you think that I'm just going to allow you to date my daughter then you have another thing coming!" Snape shouted. Harry gaped at Snape and blushed furiously.
"Daddy!" Astra shrieked "We are not dating! If you must know he's helping me with my transfiguration essay!" Now it was Severus's turn to blush. "Did it ever occur to you two that disappearing together all the time looked suspicious?" he scolded her.
"And did it ever occur to you to ask me what was going on?" Astra snapped back. "Yes I will admit that he is attractive and very sweet. But daddy come on! He is a seventh year and six years older than me!"
"That is true sir. Besides Astra is like the litter sister I never had." Harry added finally regaining his voice. "And I don't date girls that are too young for me professor." He added to put more to put Snape at rest than anything.
"Well I don't know." Snape started and looked at Astra. "Do you promise me that you're not dating him?" "Of course Daddy!" Astra sighed exasperated. "But in all logic, why would I admit it to you?" she beamed as she turned to run.
"Astra! Get back here!" Snape yelled at his daughter's retreating back. Then he glared at Harry. Harry shrugged and ran to catch up with Astra.
"POTTER!" Snape growled but decided to give up for the moment.
Harry caught up to Astra and grabbed her around the waist. They tumbled and laughed as they fell and rolled in the grass. When they stopped rolling Harry looked up at his friend.
"Now why did you do that?" he asked propping his head on his hand. "Because. He doesn't need to treat me like a child!" Astra growled "He should realize that I would know who is and who isn't too old for me to date."
"Okay. But why did you have to bring me in the middle of this?" Harry asked. "I know Harry but truth be told. I didn't bring you into this he did." She pointed out. "I just went along with it because I knew it would piss him off. You see Harry, my father wants to think of me as his little baby. But he doesn't realize that I am not his baby anymore and that I am a big girl now."
"True, well" Harry thought for a moment. "What did you have in mind on this prank? I assume that is what you got me out here for isn't it?"
"Oh come on Harry. Don't you want to snog a bit first?" she pretended to pout. "Ok not funny!" Harry grumbled.
Astra busted up laughing "Oh I'm sorry Harry. Just can't get my father's ridiculous notion out of my head." She gasped for breath. "How could he even think that?"
"Oh, I don't know." Harry said bemusedly. "Maybe because he knows you well enough, or maybe not. Either way lets not give him anymore reason to think we're a couple."
Astra nodded her agreement. "Well then let's get to work on this prank eh?" Harry sat up and listened with intent.
"Right then, here's what we do." Astra preceded to layout the plan. When she was done explaining Harry looked at her in shock. "You're kidding right?" "Nope." "I don't know Astra." Harry grumbled "even if we pull this off, from what you said your father had this prank played on him once before. What makes you think he won't know who did this?"
"Oh he'll know alright. Just like he knew about who did most of the other pranks. But this will be my final prank. Even Sarul can't come up with one to top this!" Astra grinned evilly. "That is why it is perfect."
"Well as the saying goes. If you can't beat them, join them." Harry shrugged. "So... Alright I'm in." and with that they went back to the great hall.
The moment they entered, Astra looked over at her father and took Harry's hand and winked. Severus's face contorted in anger.
Harry looked from Astra to her father, sighed then took his seat at the Gryffindor table. She sat down beside him.
"I really wish you wouldn't do that." Harry grumbled. "Your father doesn't like me as it is." "Oh don't worry Harry. I'll smooth it over at dinner with the family tonight." She chided "he'll let it go."
As much as he'd like to believe her. He wasn't so sure.
Astra got back to the Gryffindor common room with just enough time to hurry and get dressed for dinner. She was wearing the dress her father loved. It was a golden yellow and he said it made him think of sunshine. She started to head out the portrait hole when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She turned to see a reddened faced first year. She knew that his name was Aiden Morgan.
Aiden cleared his throat. "Um. Astra?" he paused Astra stood there a moment, then raised her eyebrows impatiently. "Yes?" she prompted.
"Um. I was wondering." He cleared his throat again. "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" 'Oh how cute!' She thought amusedly 'he wants to be my boyfriend. Well I suppose I can give it a try. At least this will give me someone to take daddy's focus off of Harry.'
"Well okay Aiden. But I hope you know what you're getting your self into." She winked and turned to go. "What do you mean?" he asked but she kept going. He turned to the others "What does she mean?"
Harry chuckled. "She means her father." He told Aiden. "Does Snape ring any bells?" Aiden groaned. "I forgot."
The rest of the common room busted into laughter as Harry took Aiden aside for some pointers on how to deal with Snape.
Astra entered the family rooms as her family was sitting down to dinner.
"Hi family." Astra beamed. Sarul grumbled, Serena smiled and Narina cooed. Severus however scowled.
"You're late!" he growled. "Sorry daddy. Got held up by my boyfriend." Astra grinned at him.
His scowl deepened. "I told you I didn't want you seeing Potter!" "Now daddy. Harry is a wonderful boy and I would be proud to be his girlfriend. But sadly" She sighed in mock sadness. "It is not Harry that I am seeing."
Serena raised her eyebrows and looked from her daughter to her husband. "Am I missing something here?" "No dear" Severus muttered "Just a father, daughter talk."
"Ah." Was all Serena managed as she turned back to her dinner. "So." Severus continued "Who pray tell is this boyfriend of yours?" "Well if you must know." She drew the pause a little long on purpose. "It's Aiden Morgan."
This time it was Serena that spoke first. "Aiden?" She blinked "Did you say that you are seeing young Aiden?" "Yes mother." Astra sighed exasperated. "I did say that. Why?"
"Well...Aiden is a nice boy but, Astra." her mother stopped for a moment. "He's a bit clumsy." "Mother!" Astra's face reddened. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well he is a bit like his cousin." Both Severus and Astra looked at Serena questioningly.
Serena sighed "You know who I mean Severus. Does the name 'Longbottom' mean anything to you?" Severus's eyes widened. "No!" he grumbled "Not another Bloody Longbottom!"
Astra looked at her father's expression. Oh this was better then she expected. She knew that her father hated Harry but he loathed Neville even more. And for his daughter to be dating Neville's cousin. Oh the possibilities were endless. She began to eat as her father continued to mumble under his breath. Once in a while she would hear the words "Bloody hell!" or "Potter would have been better than this!" when she did she ran the risk of choking on her food.
Astra cheerfully entered the Gryffindor tower. She looked about the common room and spotted Harry. She went cheerfully over to him.
"So how'd it go?" Harry asked tentatively. "It went Bloody fantastic! Relax Harry you're off the hook. He now believes me." She winked at him. "But you should have heard him when he found out just who Aiden's cousin was."
Harry looked at her confused. "Longbottom!" she sang. "Neville Longbottom is Aiden's cousin!"
"Oh Bloody hell!" Harry laughed. "I wish I could have been there to see Snape's face on that one!" Astra nodded. "I had a very hard time trying to eat and not laugh at the same time."
It was time for Sarul to get his come uppence. She had finished brewing this morning and had snuck into the Slytherin common room to coat Sarul's clothing in the potion. She came back to the Gryffindor tower and got ready for classes. She went to the great hall as everyone was leaving. She had picked up a bottle of bright pink ink and made sure she ran into Sarul.
"Oy Harry!" she shouted rushing forward as Sarul came right in front of her. She ran right into him, covering him with pink. Those that were watching chuckled as they passed.
"Ugh!" Sarul said with disgust. "Why don't you look where you're going Astra!" "Sorry Sarul." Astra said batting her eyelids.
"Yeah right!" he snorted. "You're never sorry!" Sarul stormed out of the great hall. 'Blast her!' he thought angrily 'Now I have to go and change into new clothes. I'm going to be late for transfiguration because of her!'
He made his way to the Slytherin house and changed his robes. He then ran as quickly as he could to his transfiguration class dreading what McGonagall would do.
"Is there a good reason why you are late Mr. Snape?" Professor McGonagall asked as Sarul entered. "Yeah, I have a pain in the arse sister!" he muttered.
"Pardon?" McGonagall said turning to face Sarul "What was that?" "I said I needed to change my clothes because I spilled some ink on them!" he said loudly.
"Well you really should be more careful in the future." McGonagall scolded and then turned back to the class and resumed her speech.
The lunch bell rang and Astra hurried to the great hall. She got there before Harry and waited impatiently for him to arrive. "Hey Astra!" Harry said cheerfully.
"Where have you been?" Astra growled. "Never mind. Here is the catalyst and as we planned, tonight at dinner we will..." "Astra I know! We've been over this a hundred times or more last night!" Harry muttered annoyed.
"Look," Astra glared at him. "I want everything to go perfect. I mean nothing can go wrong!" "Astra calm down before you hyperventilate!" Harry growled. "Everything will go to plan. I promise."
"Okay." She said taking a few deep breaths "Okay."
The dinner bell ran. Harry and Astra took their places, one in front of Sarul and one behind. Astra uncorked her bottle and proceeded to turn around just before they entered the great hall.
"Oops! I am so sorry Sarul, didn't see you there!" "Like bloody hell you're sorry Astra! That's twice in one day!" he shouted.
He has stopped moving in mid sentence. Harry couldn't have planned it better. He tripped and bumped into Sarul, spilling his bottle of the catalyst all over him.
"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're walking!" Sarul growled at Harry. "Sorry, but if you hadn't stopped moving I wouldn't have ran into you." Harry shrugged his shoulders. "So logically it was your fault I ran into you."
Sarul swore under his breath and started to walk into the great hall.
Astra stood beside Harry as they watched as they watched his clothing 'disappear'
Sarul walked into the great hall and stopped as everyone's eyes turned to him. He heard gasps and giggles as girls and boys alike turned to look at him pointing their fingers. A seventh year Hufflepuff girl went past him muttered "Nice butt." He looked at himself and noticed that all his clothing had disappeared. Sarul squeaked and covered his private parts with his hands. He blushed a brilliant color of crimson and ran from the great hall.
Astra doubled over in laughter. She looked up at the head table and noticed her father looking at her. Snape got up and started towards them.
Her laughter died. "Uh, Harry?" "Yeah?" he said through gasps.
"You might want to RUN!" she yelled as she ran up the stairs. Harry looked in the direction of the great hall and paled as he saw the expression on Snape's face as he came toward Harry. Harry gulped and quickly ran in the same direction as Astra. They ran all the way to the tower and shouted the password "No need to shout!" the portrait scolded as it swung open and jumped in as the door swung shut.