"You never did love me."
Those five words rolled off of my tongue so easily. Why did I say that? Did I mean it? After seven years, did I really believe that every moment that I loved him was a moment wasted; a moment that could've been spent loving someone else? I didn't want to think that I had wasted so much of my time on a person who turned out to be the biggest creep on the face of the planet.
"Her-Hermione!" Ron called after me, as if I would stop walking away from him. He caught up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed. "You... Merlin, you're no better than that arsehole Malfoy!" A stunned look hit Ron's face with such force that he almost fell over backwards. I felt a lump rise in my throat as tears began to cloud my vision. "Seven years, Ronald! SEVEN BLOODY YEARS! I went through hell and back for you because you meant the world to me! And you can't even have the decency to tell me if you've met someone else? Forget having a relationship for almost a year, we were BEST FRIENDS! And I loved you more because of that!"
I turned sharply and began to walk away again, not caring where I was going. I heard loud thuds coming closer behind me. I quickened my pace to try to outrun the approaching steps behind me, but I couldn't lose my pursuer. I stopped abruptly and screamed, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I fell to the ground and hid my face in my hands.
"Hermy?"
I looked up and saw Harry. The one who did think I was worth something, that I wasn't just some toy that could be thrown away once something better came along. A sob escaped my lips and I buried my face into Harry's shoulder.
"Hermione, what happened? Is... did something happen to Ron? To your mum? What?" His hands ran up and down my back, trying to soothe the pain radiating from my heart. He broke the embrace and looked into my eyes. "Hermione... tell me."
"He... he met someone else. Someone else, Harry!" I broke into sobs again, not knowing how else to react. All I felt was complete and utter abandonment, like I had been taken for a ride but cast off far too soon. "And do you know," I continued, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, "do you know how long it's been going on? Two months. Two months that he was off carousing with some... whore." A bitter taste filled my mouth. Harry looked slightly taken aback at my use of the word. His brow furrowed and he placed the palm of his hand on my cheek.
"Oh... I had no clue. He never tells me anything anymore, Hermione. If he had told me anything, I would've called him a stupid prat for ruining something so great and told you right after I was through with him. Hermione, I'm so sorry..." His voice trailed off as he put his arms around me again. I wanted nothing more than to just stay there in his embrace, feeling safe and loved. It was the most warmth I had felt in months, and it was a welcome change.
To this day, we remain friends. We can't act like nothing has happened, like the friendship hasn't changed as a result of things that took place. I have learned to forgive, and, more importantly, to love again. One defeat in life isn't the end – it's the beginning of life as a person who is more mature; a person who has had the experience of love and loss and survived through it. It really is true – that which does not kill you really does make you stronger. I am living proof.
Those five words rolled off of my tongue so easily. Why did I say that? Did I mean it? After seven years, did I really believe that every moment that I loved him was a moment wasted; a moment that could've been spent loving someone else? I didn't want to think that I had wasted so much of my time on a person who turned out to be the biggest creep on the face of the planet.
"Her-Hermione!" Ron called after me, as if I would stop walking away from him. He caught up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed. "You... Merlin, you're no better than that arsehole Malfoy!" A stunned look hit Ron's face with such force that he almost fell over backwards. I felt a lump rise in my throat as tears began to cloud my vision. "Seven years, Ronald! SEVEN BLOODY YEARS! I went through hell and back for you because you meant the world to me! And you can't even have the decency to tell me if you've met someone else? Forget having a relationship for almost a year, we were BEST FRIENDS! And I loved you more because of that!"
I turned sharply and began to walk away again, not caring where I was going. I heard loud thuds coming closer behind me. I quickened my pace to try to outrun the approaching steps behind me, but I couldn't lose my pursuer. I stopped abruptly and screamed, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I fell to the ground and hid my face in my hands.
"Hermy?"
I looked up and saw Harry. The one who did think I was worth something, that I wasn't just some toy that could be thrown away once something better came along. A sob escaped my lips and I buried my face into Harry's shoulder.
"Hermione, what happened? Is... did something happen to Ron? To your mum? What?" His hands ran up and down my back, trying to soothe the pain radiating from my heart. He broke the embrace and looked into my eyes. "Hermione... tell me."
"He... he met someone else. Someone else, Harry!" I broke into sobs again, not knowing how else to react. All I felt was complete and utter abandonment, like I had been taken for a ride but cast off far too soon. "And do you know," I continued, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, "do you know how long it's been going on? Two months. Two months that he was off carousing with some... whore." A bitter taste filled my mouth. Harry looked slightly taken aback at my use of the word. His brow furrowed and he placed the palm of his hand on my cheek.
"Oh... I had no clue. He never tells me anything anymore, Hermione. If he had told me anything, I would've called him a stupid prat for ruining something so great and told you right after I was through with him. Hermione, I'm so sorry..." His voice trailed off as he put his arms around me again. I wanted nothing more than to just stay there in his embrace, feeling safe and loved. It was the most warmth I had felt in months, and it was a welcome change.
To this day, we remain friends. We can't act like nothing has happened, like the friendship hasn't changed as a result of things that took place. I have learned to forgive, and, more importantly, to love again. One defeat in life isn't the end – it's the beginning of life as a person who is more mature; a person who has had the experience of love and loss and survived through it. It really is true – that which does not kill you really does make you stronger. I am living proof.