Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers. Someone else does. I don't know who because it keeps changing. Please don't get offended if I insult your favorite character. Some pairings are easy to write a story for while others are really tough. So please realize that some of my stories will be better than others. Hi to all my fellow AFPR's including my fellow female Psychos :). And I really appreciate the reviews :).
Yes, I realize I'm repeating the Tanya is a radio dj theme. But, this was all I could come up with for this pair. Enjoy.
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
"Welcome back, everyone. That was 'Calling all Monsters, We attack in May' the latest hit by that hot new duo, Zita and Red. This is Tanya Sloan on KAGV, Angel Grove's most listened to music station. I will be taking requests for the next two hours. If you have one, dial 555-Adam or email me at Seanisajerkyellowranger.com. Oh, we already have our first caller. Boy, someone sure must be desperate. Hello? You're on Angel Grove Radio. Who are you and what is your request?"
No response.
"Hello? Are you there, caller?"
No response.
"I can hear you breathing. You know, obscene phone calls are not the brightest thing to do when you're on the air."
Still no response.
"Look, if you're not going to talk, please hang up. This is our only phone line and I don't feel like talking to myself all afternoon."
Yep…no response
"Please, for the love of Zordon, say something, anything."
"Ok. My name is Chad and I would…"
"Hold it a second. What took you so long to speak?"
"Uh, well, you didn't tell me I could."
"I hope your request is for a good psychiatrist. Why on earth would you need permission to talk?"
"I was told that there was a special rule for Blue Rangers. That they weren't allowed to talk unless told to. Or else the ghosts of the renowned Zordon and Alpha 5 will appear and give them wet willies at night."
"Blue Ranger? Wait a second. You're Chad Lee, Blue Lightspeed Rescue Ranger."
"Yep."
"Too bad you didn't inherit the brains of the original Blue Ranger. That has to be the most idiotic rule I ever heard."
"Oh, and what would you know about the secret rules of the Power Rangers?"
"Well, I..uh..heard it from someone who heard it from someone who knows the Yell…Oh what the hell, it's not like Zordon's around to take away my powers. It's not like I even have powers anymore. I was the Yellow Zeo and the Yellow Turbo Ranger. That's how I know."
"You mean? Damn, I should've known Joel was making it up. Well, guess who's going to have a cockpit full of fish guts tomorrow morning."
"Well, this is all well and lovely. But I am getting a backload of calls so if you would just hurry up and tell me your request."
"Oh, right. I almost forgot. I want gills and flippers."
"Gills and Flippers? I've never heard of that song before. Who sings it?"
"It's not a song. I just want gills and flippers. Maybe you know a plastic surgeon?"
"WHAT????"
"I want to be a merman. You know…a male mermaid."
No response.
"Uh, Tanya?"
Still no response
"Are you still there?"
Yep…no response
"Uh, oh, I think I got disconnected."
"Ow! No, I'm still here. I just had to whack my head a few times to clear it. I thought you said your request was to be a merman."
"Yes, I did."
"Oh, this is going to be good. May I ask why?"
"So I can marry my one true love, Marina the Mermaid."
"You want to marry a mermaid?"
"Not just any mermaid. Most of them are stuck up. But Marina's special."
"Uh, ok. Well, I would love to fulfill your request. But there are a few teensy little problems."
"What? You're not worried about the insurance, are you? Oh wait; you worked as a Ranger yourself. I bet Zordon gave you an excellent rate under the Ranger Clause of the Intergalactic Zordowner's Insurance Company. Well, anyway, I can cover the plastic surgery costs easily. I just need help getting connected with someone who can do it."
"In…in…insurance??!! We were eligible for medical insurance? That bald-headed cretin! He told us that he couldn't afford all the medical equipment in the Power Chamber. He even made us deposit money into his Swiss Bank account every time we needed so much as a bandage!""
"Oh, so what is the problem with my request then?"
"Grumble, grumble, greedy wrinkled, old, doddering, smelly, perverted…."
"What? I didn't get all of that. I think you were mumbling."
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Well, first of all, this is a radio station. A music radio station. When I asked for requests, I meant a song request."
"Well, you never said so? How was I supposed to know that?"
"Because it's common sense? Now, second, I am a radio dj. What on Earth makes you think that I would even know a plastic surgeon who can do such miracles?"
"Hey, I saw your before and after photos in that magazine article on up and coming radio personalities. Only a miracle maker could've fixed up that schnozzola."
"Oh, very funny. Well, there is just one last reason I can't meet your request."
"What is it?"
"YOU ARE TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY NUTS!"
"Oh wait, I can't hear you. Someone's pounding on my door. Hold on a second." (Footsteps and then the sound of a door opening are heard). (In a muffled tone) "Hello? Can I…HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH THAT STRAIGHT JACKET??!! LET ME GO!!!! I'M NOT INSANE!!! MERMAIDS REALLY DO EXIST!!!" (Chad's protests eventually fade away.)
"Well, now that I've gotten that taken care of. I'm going to go to a certain destroyed Power Chamber. That Eltarian egomaniac must've hidden his Swiss Bank account number there somewhere. Bye all!"
AN: Since Mother's day is approaching; this one is dedicated to my mother, Margaret Sulo (April 1934-April 2004). Only now that she is in Heaven is she realizing what a lunatic her daughter really is :). I love you, Mom.
Happy Mother's day to all you mothers out there :).