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Up from Canaan
Three
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"It's not the best of circumstances, but it's good to see you again, Doc." Geordi LaForge stepped back and released Beverly from his warm embrace. He registered the change in her chromatics upon arrival, but it was not until he'd held he that he fully realized how much she'd changed. "Don't they feed you on that planet of yours?"
Beverly gave a hollow laugh. "It just doesn't hold a candle to the replicators around here, Geordi. Maybe you should come have a look." She squeezed his arm affectionately. It was good to be back amongst her friends. The dull ache in her heart subsided a bit, just enough so that it didn't hurt to breathe. Still, she felt a little alarmed by the number of people in her small quarters. Her chest was banded, and she kept panic at bay through slow, steady breaths.
As the Chief Engineer arrived they sat down to eat dinner. Will, Deanna, Geordi and Data had all come to see her the evening after she'd arrived on the ship. Worf had been absent nearly a month, spending time on the Klingon homeworld with Alexander. They had all wanted to come by sooner, but she'd warded them off with the specter of a headache and travel fatigue – it was a plausible excuse. Honestly she had simply been too overwhelmed by the abrupt change in scenery and the encroaching sense of alarm it triggered in her mind.
Today had been better, though echoes of her past assailed her that morning as she rose and went about her routine. She'd even been briefly confused when she'd reached into the closet for her uniform and found only slacks, skirts, and sweaters.
"I don't know if Worf's planning on coming back. Last we talked, he mentioned getting a transfer." Geordi's brow furrowed and his visor dipped momentarily.
Beverly pulled herself back to the moment and turned toward him. "Why would he want to transfer?" She could not imagine the burly Klingon in a post that made him happier – except perhaps if Starfleet began a Cardassian war games project.
"He says he wants to be able to spend more time with Alexander." Geordi offered it gamely, but clearly there was more to the story.
Geordi looked down and then to Riker. The room seemed a little smaller as a new tension filled the air.
"Things on the ship have changed since...." Will tapered off and looked to Deanna, then back at Geordi and Data, stalling. "Since your departure." He settled on the less provocative description of the timeline.
Beverly moved her lips as though to speak, then fell silent. It was not a placation – she read the truth in each of their faces. Even Data seemed affected and reflective of the somber mood. "Changed?" She gave Will a querelous look.
"Worf took a leave of absence shortly after an incident with an away team on Zendi VI. It was an exploratory mission of an uninhabited M class planet. Worf and a small party beamed down, only to find rather hostile but non-humanoid inhabitants. Worf felt strongly that the danger to the crew was too great to continue sending people down." Riker paused in his story to have a long sip of ale. "The Captain disagreed. He told him that" Riker's attitude suddenly changed, and he seemed belligerent. "That we'd never learn anything if we simply kept to the ship at the first sign of a challenge."
Beverly's face opened into an expression of wonder. No one in Starfleet, least of all Worf, would take well to that kind of insinuation from a superior officer. Riker nodded at her, acknowledging her reaction. "So we sent down another team. A couple ensigns from exobotany, more security, and staff from a few other departments." Riker paused again, but no one seemed eager to continue the story for him, so he plunged ahead. "Worf was right. The animals on the planet turned out to be more dangerous that we could handle. In the end, we lost five crewmembers." The last sentence hung in the air as the stars winked coldly and silently outside.
"Worf left the ship the next time we put into Starbase." Geordi chimed in quietly, shaking his head.
Beverly was incredulous. Five crewmen? Picard would be horrified. 'Would have been horrified,' she thought. She added this to the collection of stories about the Captain's cold hearted and cavalier attitude she'd collected in the past year. Some came from the Enterprise, some from her friends back at Headquarters. None were good. They were tales of a man she hardly recognized. A man callous toward his responsibilities and indifferent to the consequences of his actions. There had even been some speculation of a formal review, a process almost unheard of for an officer of his rank. But incidents like the one on Zendi VI had become too common for Picard – he'd lost more crew in the past year than in the 5 before.
She reeled, suddenly assaulted by a harrowing suspicion. No one had confronted Jean-Luc on his abrupt change in attitude last year. He had cut off all who tried with a curt, "It's none of your business," and made it clear that further inquiries were not welcome. What if there were something wrong with him? She had been too hurt, to stunned to stay behind and get to the bottom of his change of heart – frankly she hadn't cared about the reasons. But was there something more she was missing?
Instantly she was possessed by the need to be alone. She rose from the table and made her apologies, regretfully asking her friends to leave. They seemed to understand. The mood of the evening, somber to begin with, had turned downright melancholy. It was not a gathering to prolong.
Each said good night and gave Beverly a long hug as they departed. Deanna paused before walking out the door. "I think it's good that you're here, Beverly."
Crusher nodded, a tight smile on her lips. She was filled with a clawing sense of urgency, thoughts of herself now driven from her mind. Of course – that was it. Something was going on. She'd felt it in the church, and now she could feel it in her bones – something was quite wrong with Jean-Luc Picard.
xxxxx
"You can make this right." Beverly awoke with a start. But for the first time she could remember, it was not with tears staining her face. Her heart was pounding, but not in anger. She struggled to identify what she was feeling. Her stomach was tight, but she wasn't naseous. In fact, she was actually a bit hungry. She was excited, but not anxious. It was.... anticipation. That was it. She was spoiling for a fight. She'd spent the last year without purpose, without a goal. Maybe the first time in her life she'd not had her sights set on something. She stepped out of bed, and as she did so stood a little bit straighter, taller than she had in a while. Damned if Jean-Luc Picard would get away with this, making a victim of Beverly Crusher. A sour look crossed her face – it was contemptible to think of herself that way, and worse to think that others thought that of her. No more. Retreat had isolated her, weakened her, and she was sick of it. Her thoughts raced as she prepared for the day, flying over the past year and everything she had heard of Jean-Luc since the debacle of their wedding day.
She stopped brushing her hair mid-stroke when, for the first time, she really thought of Anna Young. Instantly she seethed. Her focus for so long had been Picard. She'd wondered fleetingly who his new bride was, where she had come from. Honestly, though, she hadn't given it much thought beyond the surface. Now she brought her full attention to the subject. Just who the hell exactly did this woman think she was? As much as she tried to focus on the woman, though, the less she was able. It were as if Anna simply became dim as she concentrated on her.
Beverly dismissed the thought, and stood abruptly and strode into the main cabin. She stopped just short of activating the doors. In her haste she had not considered where to go, just her need to do something. She stood, unsure of her next move. She was not yet ready to face the Captain – what would she say to him? She was similarly puzzled by Anna – she had a few choice words for both of them, but she had not come all these lightyears just to tell them off, as fun as that might be.
She jumped as the chime to her door rang. "Who is it?" She did her best to give her unsteady voice assurance. She prayed it was not Jean-Luc. She exhaled loudly in relief as the answer came.
"It's Guinan. May I come in?" The bartender's calm voice filled the cabin and her mind.
She walked forward and activated the door, grabbing a startled Guinan by the forearm and pulling her in. "Just the woman I wanted to see."
The serene woman smiled as Crusher turned to face her when the cabin doors shut. The fiery physician narrowed her eyes. "Tell me everything you know."
xxxxx
It took considerable persuasion, but Guinan had eventually been equal to the task of calming the considerably ruffled Doctor Crusher. They now both sat on the couch, hot cocoa in hand and breakfast before them. Beverly had been delighted to find herself enjoying a second muffin and third glass of orange juice. It felt good to really eat again – almost as good as it felt to be genuinely hungry.
She eyed the purple-clad woman suspisciously. "Now that you've plied me with food, spill it. You know something." Beverly set her mug down on the table and tucked a leg underneath her. She made it very clear that she was settled in for a thorough accounting.
Guinan was not to be outdone however, not even by the likes of a determined Beverly Crusher. She opened her hands in a classic gesture to indicate she held nothing back. "I don't know anything. But I feel that something isn't right."
Crusher arched her brow. "I'd say that's hardly accurate. You came to my cabin, remember?"
Guinan smiled. "All I can say is that you can make this right. I don't know how. But I know that you are central to whatever is going on."
Crusher smiled ruefully in victory. "So you admit that there's something happening – that something isn't right?"
Guinan turned for a moment to the stars before responding. "Things are not as they should be, no."
For a moment insecurity welled up in Beverly. It had become a familiar companion, one that would not simply slink away. "But how do you know? How do I know I'm doing the right thing? He certainly doesn't want me in his life – he's made that very clear. And I don't think I even love him anymore. The man I knew is gone."
Guinan studied Beverly's face. The two women had never been close, but there was a familiarity in her black eyes that Crusher could not account for. Guinan seemed to know her. When she finally spoke, her thoughts seemed far away. "I have known Jean-Luc Picard for a very long time. I have a sense of him beyond what you see today, yesterday, or in the future. And the man I see now is not as I have ever known him. And your role in his life is not how I have ever known it."
"Well that certainly clears things up." Beverly didn't know what she had been expecting to hear, but it wasn't this. Once she'd set her course, she was a woman of action. She needed some kind of direction – something to sink her teeth into.
Guinan's mouth moved upward into the semi-permanent grin she so often wore, the one that seemed to say, 'I know more about you than you do.' It could be comforting – but at times it could be incredibly infuriating – this was one of those times.
She seemed to read Crusher's thoughts. "I can't tell you what to do, Beverly."
"Then what the hell can you tell me?" Crusher stood and cried out in frustration. "I'm finally ready to move forward – and I can't figure out where to go!" Beverly stalked into her cabin and appeared a moment later. "What is this?" She thrust the small cube forward, the one Guinan had handed her when she'd fled the ship.
"Ah. Yes." Guinan took the object and turned it over in her hand, studying its smooth surface. "This is just something I picked up along the way. It's been pretty useful from time to time." She held it in her open hand, and the object began to glow faintly as it rested on her palm.
Beverly sat down again, enthralled by the tiny box. She leaned toward it, ever more interested in what seemed to be emanating from within it. She at once felt very peaceful and focused. "What is this?" She spoke in awed wonder, in a tone she had used whenever she was confronted with a particular medical mystery, encountered a new species, or made a breakthrough in her research.
"I'm not really sure where it came from. But it's always served me well. I want you to take it. I think it will help you now." Guinan closed her hand over it in a fist, and suddenly the cool white aura disappeared. Beverly couldn't help but feel a bit sad. The older woman extended her hand to Beverly, who offered her own in receipt. She had expected it to be warm, but still it was cool to the touch.
"What do I do with it?" Crusher looked up expectantly, but her face fell as her eyes met Guinan's. "Right. You don't know." She smiled and shook her head. "I don't know whether I should thank you or curse you."
"You may do both before you leave the ship. But my money's on thanking." Guinan smiled and Beverly laughed. Both women stood. Beverly stooped to clear the dishes, absorbed in her own thoughts.
"I do know that this will be hard. Very hard." Crusher looked back over her shoulder at the edge Guinan's voice took on. She was not put at ease by the concern in her eyes. "But he's worth it, Beverly."
Again, it were as if she'd read her mind like a book. Over and over in the last 48 hours Beverly had questioned why she'd even come here. Had she not been humiliated enough? What in the world was she hoping to gain? To win back Picard's love? She could not say she even wanted it. Pathetic as it was, she still clung to some connection with him – some glimmer of hope that her best friend might still be there for her. It would have almost been easier if he'd died. 'No, it wouldn't have. Because now you have hope. And if he'd died, that part of you would have gone with him.' Beverly admitted this to herself, painful as it was to hear. She was still bound to a man who wanted nothing to do with her.
Guinan laid a hand on Beverly's shoulder. "It's good that you're having these thoughts. When you are finally ready to approach him, you'll need to be very clear, and very focused. Take your time Beverly. Ask yourself why you're here, on the Enterprise. And when you have that answer, then you'll be ready to go to him."
Crusher's flickering blue eyes met Guinan's steady dark brown. "What about Anna? And the child?" She choked on the words as they came out. The child.
"That's the part of this that's most confusing to me. I have no sense of Anna Young, or where she fits into Picard's life." Guinan was silent for a moment. "It's almost as if she appeared from nowhere." She became introspective with the last statement, as if this were the first time she herself were having these thoughts. "But you should be prepared to deal with her – and with his feelings for her." Her eyes drilled into Beverly's.
Crusher nodded silently, slowly. Guinan strolled toward the door and Beverly remained a few paces behind. The Doctor spoke, her eyes and voice distracted. "Whatever will happen will happen soon."
Guinan turned back as she stood on the other side of the door. "You won't be alone, Beverly." She stepped away from the sensor and the doors swished shut. For minutes more Beverly stared at the doorway. Finally, she retreated to the couch, where she curled herself into the cushions and took up study of the mysterious cube. She stayed that way for several hours, lost in thought.
xxxxx
"Computer, location of Captain Picard?" Beverly had spent the day in guest quarters, unwilling to venture out and risk being recognized. When she left, it would be with one purpose in mind.
The computer's cool monotone answered back promptly. "Captain Picard is in his quarters."
Beverly paced in front of the stars. "Deanna?" She did not want to give her identity over the open comm., unsure of where the Counselor may be and with whom.
"Yes?" Troi's tone was querulous.
"I wanted to let you know," Beverly paused. What she had to say was straightforward, but it was a Herculean effort to form and speak the words. Deanna waited patiently. "I'm going to see the Captain now."
Troi answered back in a soothing, measured voice. "Are you sure you're ready?" It was neither encouraging nor discouraging, simply meant to prompt Beverly to reflect.
"Yes." Beverly spoke with a force of will she did not feel. "I've been ready for a while now – I've just been afraid." Her mouth twitched upward. She continued to pace as she spoke to the bookshelf in her cabin, wringing her hands.
"That's understandable. If you need anything, I'll be in my quarters." Deanna sensed the duality of Beverly's hesitation and resolve. It was a horrible situation for her friend to face.
"Thank you." Beverly smiled crookedly and tapped at her communicator. Her intense crystalline blue eyes were focused on a distant point on the wall, and her mind was already a million miles away and racing in anticipation of her confrontation with Picard.
She turned quickly to the coffee table and snatched up the cube, placing it into the pocket of her trousers. She paused only a second before stalking determinedly out the doors and to the lift that would take her face to face with her nightmares.
She stepped hesitantly from the lift and into the corridor, placing one foot in front of the other and slowly closing the distance toward the Captain's quarters. Despite her best efforts she arrived there momentarily. She paused just outside of the sensor range of the doors. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a full minute, her hands flat at her sides. As she opened her eyes she clenched her fists and stepped forward to press the chime.
She was utterly unprepared for what met her one the other side.
xxxxx
The doors slid back to reveal a smiling Anna Young. She looked as lithe and serene as she had that day over a year ago, her clover honey hair hanging down in curls and waves over her thin frame. Her eyes were still bewitchingly dark amber, her skin a flawless olive. "Beverly Crusher. I've been expecting you. Please. Come in."
Beverly was completely disarmed. It was not like her to be at a loss for words, and yet there she was stunned into silence. She was developing a distinct dislike for this woman. She finally came to her senses when Anna moved to the side and extended her arm in welcome.
Beverly stepped into a cabin that was completely antiseptic. Jean-Luc had never been one for clutter, but this was extreme. Her guest quarters had more character. As for the Captain, he was nowhere to be seen.
"Jean-Luc has just returned to his ready room. I reminded him of a critical report he'd left unfinished." Anna spoke with complete composure. She answered Beverly's unspoken question without hesitation. "Tell me, Doctor. Why are you here?" Anna studied Crusher, who was uncomfortably glancing around. Now the women's eyes met, Beverly's cold as ice and Anna's two burning embers.
"I came here..." Beverly began resolutely, but could not complete her thought. She was unexpectedly absorbed in Anna's eyes. "I came..." She struggled to maintain her train of thought. "I..."
She turned as the bedroom doors on her left swished open. Jack walked out, grinning fit to burst. "Bev. You ready?" He strutted up, took her arm and kissed her on the cheek before proceeding to the far side of the cabin and grabbing a duffel bag she'd not seen before.
She felt relief and smiled. "Jack. I'm glad you're here. This woman...." Her voice trailed off as she turned a circle looking for Anna. She was nowhere to be seen. Beverly's mind was a muddled haze. She turned back to Jack, seeking an answer. But somehow seeing him only added to her confusion. "Jack?"
His grin broke and his face became concerned. He crossed back over to her. He took her by the shoulders, staring into her eyes. "You okay Bev?"
She gazed back into his deep brown eyes, full of worry, love, and as always a spark of mischief buried deep down. "Yes. I'm fine." Her head cleared and she was caught up in a warm and overwhelming sense of contentment. Her mind came into focus, but as it did so she felt a hot stab of pain at her temples. She cried out and her hands flew to her forehead. Jack's strong arms grabbed her as her knees gave way.
"Hon. Let's get you to sickbay. What's going on?" His voice was confused and concerned.
As quickly as the pain struck it disappeared. "No. It's gone. I'm fine now – really." She stood and looked up into his handsome face. She reached up and ran a hand through his thick brown hair. "Just fine." She smiled warmly and it touched her eyes.
"Good. 'Cause we've got to go get Wes, remember?" He still watched her with a guarded expression. Doctors always made the worst patients.
"Stop looking at me like that Jack Crusher." She adopted a stern tone and expression.
"What?" He set down the bag and came back over, grabbing her up roughly in his arms. "Now I can't even look at my own wife?" He buried his face and hands in her hair, kissing her delicate neck through the silken red locks.
She could not say why, but his love was overwhelmingly warm and comforting. It echoed through her soul, as though she had been without it for such a long time. What an odd feeling. She quickly dismissed it.
Currently Beverly was getting quite lost in another feeling – that of Jack's firm hands roaming over her body lustily. "Jack." She spoke in a mockingly derisive tone and made a flimsy attempt to push him off.
"What?" He stood his ground and continued moving his hands and mouth over her body.
"Wesley, remember?" She swatted playfully at his shoulder, steadily losing her will to stop the seduction in progress.
"We were going to be early anyway. Will you stop distracting me already?" He abated further discussion as he swept her up in his arms and into the bedroom.
"Anything you say, Mr. Crusher." Beverly ceased conscious thought and concentrated on the very real, very intense sensations Jack was producing deep inside her.
xxxxx
Jean-Luc Picard walked through his cabin doors and did not immediately notice the red-headed woman sitting calmly in his lounge chair and staring blankly at the far wall. His first thought, as always, was Anna.
He went to her immediately and pulled her into his arms, closing his eyes in relief as he buried his face in her hair. Secure in her presence, he pulled back and ran his hands over her stomach, his eyes bright on hers and inquisitive.
"He's fine Jean-Luc." She answered coolly as she always did. He had become quite obsessed with the health of their unborn child. She smiled at the thought. Were she to ask, he would fly the Enterprise into a black hole for her or his soon-to-be son. This child had only strengthened her hold over the man, as she had anticipated.
Satisfied with her answer, he visibly relaxed and turned toward the replicator to decide on dinner. He was quite famished. He was startled, but rather unconcerned at the sight of the long-lost Beverly Crusher in his cabin. "What is she doing here?" His tone was more of annoyance than surprise.
"She is inconsequential. Think no more of it." Anna waved her hand and Picard's steel grey eyes flickered momentarily. For a moment he seemed troubled as a ghost of doubt crossed his mind. He sought Anna's assurance and as always was placated as she offered it to him. She strolled over and ran a hand slowly down his arm. "It will be fine. She cannot hurt me Jean- Luc. Or him." She passed a hand protectively over her gently protruding belly.
He nodded, no longer troubled, and went back about his original business. When he spoke his tone was conversational and confident as always. Beverly's presence was the farthest thing from his mind. "Tell me, how was your day?"
"It was lovely." Anna rarely spoke of the details of her day – Jean-Luc would little understand. It really didn't matter one way or the other, however. She could fill his mind with a thousand meaningless details at the blink of an eye, should she chose to. Today she was more occupied with the Doctor.
Anna had expected the woman to arrive at their doorstep eventually. She knew everything about Crusher, more than the woman knew about herself. Truthfully though, she had also expected the presence of the child to hold her at bay a while longer. The timing of her visit was relatively inconsequential, however, as the Doctor was integral to achieving her final ambitions.
"And your day, Jean-Luc – were you able to fulfill my requests?" Anna fixed her golden eyes on Picard. So far he had done well in all tasks she had given him. Things were growing more complex though, and more pivotal. Perfect execution was increasingly critical.
"Yes, love, each of them. I've left a padd on the desk for your review." He came to rest next to her on the sofa. He sipped his tea peacefully, saucer in one hand and a delicate cup in the other. He waited patiently for her to speak again, his eyes roaming lovingly over her lithe body as he did so.
She smiled again as she would at a young child. "You've done well."
He basked in the warmth of her approval.
xxxxx
Beverly awoke in a state of utter bliss. She practically purred as she rolled over, reaching for Jack. She was not alarmed when he was not there, but opened her eyes instead, remembering. He had gone to get Wesley. She flipped over again onto her back and closed her eyes contentedly, pulling the covers up to her chin and smiling at their feel. She would cat nap until they arrived.
Moments later the two burst through the cabin doors, Wesley making a beeline for her in the bed. He did not stop until he had flung himself over her.
"Mom! Mom!" She opened her eyes and her arms to him, and he crawled up into them as she sat up to cradle him.
"Yes, Wes? What is it?" She smoothed an errant cowlick on the side of his temple and kissed it before turning him to face her. His warm brown eyes shone with excitement.
"Today we got to set up our very own warp-field models in elementary engineering!" He spoke in an exuberant, clear voice.
"At least our little Chief Engineer here did." Jack's proud voice boomed through the cabin. He came to the side of the bed and scooped Wesley up, twirling him around in his arms before unceremoniously dumping him back in his mother's lap.
Wesley descended into fits of hysterical giggles. "Dad!"
"His project was the only one that would have actually powered our little ship here." Jack sat down on the bed and leaned over to kiss Beverly on the cheek. She was fresh from her nap, still glowing. She wondered briefly which ship they were on. She could not remember. The question seemed unimportant to her, and she pushed it aside as one would thinking about whether they had had coffee or tea with breakfast that morning.
"Well that must certainly work up an appetite. Who's hungry for dinner?" She looked from one boy to another.
"Me, me!" Wesley raised his hand enthusiastically. Jack smiled and followed suit.
"That makes three of us then." Beverly raised her own hand and drew her legs up and out of the bed.
Jack took her hand and they shared a brief and intimate smile as they followed the bounding young Wesley into their living quarters.
xxxxx
"Will she be here long?" Jean-Luc stood from the meal and looked contemptuously over to the side of the living room where Crusher had been seated motionless for the last hour.
"Not much longer, no." Anna dabbed a napkin at the corner of her mouth as she continued to go through the motions of enjoying her dinner. She never actually ate anything at her meals with Jean-Luc, but he would not believe anyone should they tell him that.
"Ah. Well then. I think I'll do a little reading before I turn in. There's an archeology text we just picked up from a new Federation member. I've been meaning to get to it for the last month." He walked over to the shelves and pulled down the book in question. He walked directly over to the couch and sat, crossing his legs and thumbing through before settling at the beginning. Crusher was no more than a foot from him, but he did not acknowledge her presence in the slightest.
Anna stood and walked over to where he sat quietly reading. "I think you're awfully tired, no?" She ran a slender hand over his smooth head. He turned to meet her touch and closed his eyes.
"You're right. I am quite sleepy." He tossed the thick anthology onto the coffee table where it fell with a thud. The woman in the corner did not react in the slightest. Picard stretched upward briefly and yawned. He moved to Anna and placed his hands on her long, thin arms and leaned in to kiss her cheek softly. "Are you coming?" His eyes lit with hope.
She gave him a bemused and encouraging smile. "In a bit. Go now." Her tone was soft and suggestive, but decisive. He turned with no further comment and made his way to the bedroom.
She turned back to Crusher and ran a hand gently down the red mane that hung loosely to her shoulders. "How are you, my dear? I imagine quite happy." Anna circled the chair, her hand never leaving the passive woman's head. "Happy indeed. And perhaps ready now to finish what you could not before."
Anna crouched before Beverly and took her head in her hands. They were extraordinarily cool and dry, soothing. She moved close to Crusher and began whispering intently.
xxxxx
Jack nuzzled her ear and pulled her close to him. "I love you Beverly Crusher."
She smiled and held him tightly. She ran her hands through his thick, soft chestnut hair. They had put Wesley to bed and finished clearing up after dinner before retiring themselves. Jack was studying a pad as she fell asleep beside him, but he had woken her sometime later in a very pleasant manner.
She chuckled and giggled as his breath tickled her ear. "I love you, Jack Crusher."
He kissed her hungrily, fully on the mouth. They breathed together in contentment, both sated in each other and blissfully content in their lives. "Good. There's something I need you to do for me."
"Mmmm. Anything." She pulled him against her body and rolled them over onto their sides, her face pressed against his neck.
Her eyes were closed, and she did not see the wicked gleam in his eye as he began to whisper in her ear.
xxxxx
Jean-Luc Picard lay on the far side of the bed sleeping peacefully. Light from a dim, ancient pulsar alternately illuminated and shadowed the cabin, creating a slow strobing effect against Beverly Crusher's face.
Anna Young stood in the doorway, a smile curling her lips. Her eyes flashed brown, amber, lavender, red, and green in time with the pulsar. She rubbed her stomach rhythmically. The child was growing well, would arrive within a few months. This time it would be as planned, better than planned.
When she had taken Picard she had not expected to become pregnant by him. That they were able to conceive was wondrous, rare even among miracles – the child was sure to be gifted even beyond her talents.
Anna's role in the universe was unclear, even to her. She never held a knife, nor a weapon of any sort. But surely as a sun would rise and set she left death in her wake. It took many forms – war, plague, simple murder even. Some called her evil. Her image was represented in the mythology of hundreds of civilizations across the galaxy. She did not delight in the misery she brought, but found fulfillment in it – it was after all what she had been destined to do. And she was so good at it.
Years and years ago (a lifetime by human standards, but moments by her own) she had woken one afternoon from a dream, and immediately made her way to the alpha quadrant of the galaxy. There she had expended a tremendous amount of energy following and manipulating Beverly Crusher and Jean-Luc Picard. As it always was, she was powerless to control whom she would visit. Occasionally the one she was called to resonated particularly loudly in her consciousness. These individuals were rare, and she would not be dissuaded from her work until it was completed, no matter the consequence.
So it was with Beverly Crusher. She was to die, but not by Anna's hand, and not by the hand of any mortal. She was to die by her own hand, and without bearing another child. The one had been an accident, and Anna's failure to stop his conception and birth had troubled her to no end. Beverly was never to have consummated a relationship with Jack Crusher. Their relationship was unexpected and had caught Anna off guard. In her surprise she had been slow to act and the offspring was a result of her inaction. Already Wesley Crusher was slowly altering her work, and she felt a great dissonance as he wandered the galaxy.
Soon enough he would find her. He sought her, though he did not know it yet. Should he succeed in his quest, she would need to extinguish him. He was eons younger, but she was wiser. Now that he had become a part of the fabric of the cosmos, his death would cause even more problems - but that could not be helped. Anna and Wesley could not co-exist, and her work was too important.
This child within her was a mystery, even to her. Anna had arrived only just in time to stop the birth of the Crusher/Picard child, the daughter that surely would have meant Anna's death. Crusher was never to have another child, and never with Jean-Luc Picard. Her birth would bring a wave of balance and harmony that would echo throughout the quadrant, driving Anna out indefinitely. Alone the girl would be ruinous enough – but should she co-exist with her half-brother...... Anna could not fathom the results.
Her hand had touched Beverly's life several times – in childhood, adulthood, and even recently. But the strength of will was strong in the woman, and there was more energy with her than with many Anna had dispatched. She had come so close with her last pass, nearly dispatching Picard and Crusher together. Loss alone was not enough to break Beverly, Anna had found. But perhaps love was.
Love. Many believed Anna hated it, loathed it even. They imagined love as the antithesis of evil, the powerful white light that drove off the demon. But Anna craved love, fostered it, needed it in all her work. Love moved men and women to glorious, drunken, dizzy heights of emotion – towering cliffs on which many were so eager to dance, and so easy to push gently over the edge. Love was central to her work, as Doctor Crusher was about to prove.
The willowy red head stood over Picard's bed, phaser in hand. Anna's sentimentality had gotten the better of her before, and she'd allowed Beverly the primal satisfaction of wielding a knife. Anna had judged that a visceral, intimate murder would serve to manipulate Beverly more easily – Picard's blood would not be dry on her hands before Crusher turned the knife on herself. She had miscalculated.
This time, it would be quick. Beverly would not have time to think before she took her own life. And more importantly, she would be doing it out of love. She would do it because Jack had asked. Jack had insisted that they could be together. After a year of soulless exile, it was an offer Beverly could not resist, even if she didn't understand why.
Anna waited as the play unfolded in Beverly's head. Right now, she saw herself dressing and headed toward the bridge. In a few moments she would arrive and draw on Jean-Luc. In reality she would murder the man as he slept. In her head she would murder him on the bridge, filled with righteous anger to avenge a crime Picard had never committed. In her fantasy Beverly would then be shot by a security crewman – but in reality she would turn her own phaser on herself.
xxxxx
Beverly flew onto the lift nearest her quarters. Jack had asked her to do this thing, and though she was dubious, she would do it for him. She did not understand why he wanted Jean-Luc dead. They were all great friends. But he had wanted it so badly – and she could not refuse his pleading, watery brown eyes.
She wrung her hands nervously and paced around the small room as it sped toward her destination, soft blue lights streaking by. "I'll do it Jack, I'll do it. I promise."
Momentarily the lift slowed and finally stopped. The doors swished open. The scene on the bridge was calm. Science officers sat at the aft stations, intent on their tasks. At the helm, an ensign stood as another relieved her of duty. At the center, Jean-Luc Picard sat, his legs crossed, studying a padd.
He looked up as she walked down the ramp. Something told her that this was not right – she was on the Enterprise – but Jack had never been on the Enterprise. And Jean-Luc was so old. She paused mid-way down the ramp.
Picard caught her eye and raised his brow in question. "Is there something we can do for you, Doctor?"
His voice broke her confused concentration, and she continued forward. "Yes." She stood directly in front of a nonplussed Picard and thrust her hand into her pocket to draw a small handheld phaser. But instead of the cool metal of a weapon, she grasped a different object entirely.