*CHAPTER 5*
~Jounouchi's POV~
Sometimes life sucks. For example, life sucks when you trip in the cafeteria and spill a lunch tray full of food all over the hottest girl in school. Life sucks when you completely blank on a math final then remember everything right after the test is passed back in. Life sucks when you get rear-ended by some drunk asshole at a stoplight. Yup, sometimes life really sucks. But all the suckiest moments of my life could barely hold a candle to the situation Yug, Ryou and I were in now.
Spilling chocolate milk and pizza on a hot girl sucks. Being expected to kill the king of the world by a sorcerer who could be Mokuba Kaiba's twin is the ultimate degree of suckery. Though I've really got to give the kid some credit. He knew what he wanted and he knew exactly how he wanted it done.
Dante wanted us to go see some duke named Casper and get a laptop from him. Then he wanted us to hack into the ruler's fancy pants defense system and crash it. But before all that, he wanted us to go to a bar called The Spyglass and hire an assassin named Jezebel to help us. It all sounded so black and white when he'd explained it to us back in his little shack. Now, a couple hours later, it seemed like a huge mess.
First off, we don't even know what dis 'Jezebel' character looks like, I silently stewed as the three of us made our way through the now crowded outdoor market in search of The Spyglass. Second, how in da hell would Casper have a laptop? I thought Dante said all da technology was gone. And what are we supposed ta do if he does have da damn thing? I'm no computer genius and Yug and Ryou aren't much better n' me. How are we supposed ta hack into da best system da world's eva' seen?
I kicked at a stray bit of gravel on the road and it bounced away, soon lost in the mass of people crowding the street. I guess it could be worse, I told myself. At least he didn't send us on our merry little way totally unprepared. He did give us somethin' to pay Jezebel with…what a surprise. I eyed a bulge in Yug's pocket, suddenly curious. What did he give us, anyway? Money? Or somethin' else? I went on puzzling over the matter and was about to just ask Yug to take whatever-it-was out of his pocket so I could see it for myself when we hit a pack of people clustered so tightly together it was almost impossible to squeeze through.
Christ, what's all dis? I wondered as somebody elbowed me smack in the stomach. What's da big attraction? Over a sea of bobbing heads, I strained to see what had so many people interested and ended up plowing into a lady with an armful of pies. I saw the load splatter and heard an angry screech before the crowd shifted and the lady disappeared behind a mass of bodies.
We were almost past the worst of the crowd when I heard Yug go down with a shout. I turned to see him sprawled on his back with a tall, gawky-looking guy standing over him, wringing his hands and apologizing over and over. "I am so very sorry, sir," the guy was saying as he pulled Yug to his feet and dusted dirt out of his hair. "I honestly didn't see you there. Are you all right?"
Yug smiled and was probably ready to accept the apology and forget about it, but I snapped: "Yeah? Well, why doncha try watchin' where you're goin' next time?"
Now, normally, I'm not such an ass about something so stupid. Usually, I'd laugh it off and let it go. But the situation we were in had me in a less-than-pleasant mood, to say it nicely, and I was ready to do something about it, even if it was something as dumb as picking a fight over nothing.
The guy held out his hands as if to say "It was just an accident; chill, OK?" before slowly backing away and melting into the crowd. I wanted to follow him. I was in the mood for a fight and I didn't want to let my opportunity walk away. I made a move to follow the guy, but Yug and Ryou pulled me back and I was forced to content myself with growling curses under my breath as they led me on through the crowd.
When I finally calmed down enough to think straight, I went back to wondering about what we were going to be paying Jezebel with. It's gotta be coins, I decided as I studied Yug's pocket again. What else could fit…in…. "Aw shit!" I yelled.
Yug and Ryou both whipped around to look at me. "What? What is it, Jou?" Yug asked, expression a weird mix between being concerned and being annoyed.
"Check your pocket, Yug," I replied. "Right now."
Yug raised his eyebrows, but dug his hands into his pockets. I already knew what he would (or to put it more accurately, wouldn't) find. The bulge had disappeared. Whatever it was that we were supposed to be paying Jezebel with was gone.
"They're empty," whispered Yug.
"Someone must have picked your pocket," said Ryou.
I'd known it before Ryou said it. We all knew it before he said a word. But for some reason, I didn't lose it until I heard. I could hear a pounding noise in my ears. My whole body felt hot and weak, as if I had a fever. It seemed as if I was floating above myself, watching, with no control over my actions. I heard myself say: "I know who it was." I saw myself turn and charge back the way we'd come, Yug and Ryou chasing after as fast as they could go. But I swear, I don't remember actually doing any of it.
To say I was pissed off would merit the understatement of the year award. I'd left being pissed behind miles ago. I was running through tight packs of people without seeing them. There were yells from the crowd, but I didn't hear them. The only thing that kept me from going completely over the edge was this tiny little voice of reason in the back of my mind that kept whispering: you're being stupid. You're making an asshole of yourself. By the time I found the gawky guy, I was calm enough to be content with pounding his face to mush rather than force-feeding him his own eyes.
He tried to make a break for it, but he'd spotted me a split second too late. I grabbed him by the back of the shirt and yanked him back hard enough to make him stumble. "Give it back right now, ya bastard!" I growled.
"G-give what back, s-s-sir?" the guy stuttered. "I d-don't know what you're talking about! Haven't the faintest idea!" He pulled his face into a smile that looked more like a grimace and let out a laugh that sounded like a terrified whinny.
"You know, all right. Now give it back!" I balled my hand into a tight fist and was about to take a swing at his crooked nose, but he was a nimble little sucker. He did a quick maneuver before I could let my punch fly and the next thing I knew I was holding an empty shirt as he tore off down the street. "Damn!" I swore, throwing the shirt on the cobblestones and following as fast as I could go.
From somewhere behind, I heard Ryou shout: "Jounouchi, stop!" but all I cared about was getting my hands on that ugly, sticky-fingered bastard. He darted down a maze of roads, but there was no way I was going to let him shake me. I turned a corner into a dark alleyway just in time to see him duck into a drab-looking bar. I was surprised to see that it was The Spyglass, but I didn't let my surprise slow me down and dashed into the bar right behind him.
A wave of raucous laughter and cheers bubbled around me as I stepped inside. My nose burned under a heavy cloud of cigarette smoke, and I rubbed my eyes, willing them to grow used to the dim light. I was in for a real shock when they finished adjusting.
The first thing I saw was a huge stage, lit with hundreds of gas-lamps. A live band about fifty people strong was blaring out old-time jazz. Up on the stage were about ten girls, all sequined and feathered like a bunch of Los Vegas showgirls, dancing wildly. The audience was on its feet, crowding around more of the dancers that were weaving their way around the floor. I saw a bottle half-full of a bright green drink (which I later found out was absinthe) go whizzing through the air and hit the wall with a crash. And in the middle of all that chaos, I spotted who I was looking for.
I dove into the audience and elbowed my way through, trying to keep my eye on the pickpocket. He saw me and tried to hide in the crowd before I got to him, but this time I had him.
"Give it to me!" I shouted over the blare of the band. The pickpocket twisted, but I didn't let him go. "I ain't in da mood for any more o' dis hide n' seek shit, so hand it over!"
His shoulders slumped and he reluctantly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small leather pouch. "Take it, asshole," he muttered, throwing it in my face.
I scrambled to catch it and he ran away, back into the safety of the audience. Before I could make a move to follow him, Yug and Ryou were beside me.
"Jou!" yelled Yug. "Ryou and I found out where we can find Jezebel. She works here. We've got to go backstage." He paused and his eyes fell on the leather bag in my hand. "Oh, you got it back!" he exclaimed. "How did you do it?"
I sighed. All the fire that had been running through me less than a minute before was gone, and I was tired. "Later, all right, Yug?" I answered, holding the bag out for him to take.
He nodded and the three of us began to make our way towards the stage. I wonder…if Jezebel works here…heh, I bet she's a showgirl. I wonder if Yug and Ryou know we're hirin' a showgirl? I chuckled a little at the thought. A showgirl assassin. Now dat's somethin' ya don't see every day….
We reached a door just to the left of the stage that we assumed led backstage as the band struck a long, loud chord that effectively scared the crap out of the three of us. The showgirl dancers onstage took a bow to a din of cheers and we hustled through the door to be met with a hall full of more glittery, scantly clad girls.
The two in the front squealed and attached themselves to Ryou, who looked as though he had no idea what to do with them. I swear, the kid completely froze as they ran their fingers through his hair and told him how adorable they thought he was. It was just about the funniest thing I'd ever seen.
"Um…excuse me," Yug quietly said.
One of the girls that had a death grip on Ryou's arm turned and shrieked: "Omigod! Sandra, look at that one!" and before Yug knew what hit him, he was surrounded by more of the girls that had crowded their way to the front of the line.
"Hey!" I yelled.
"Oh, I'm sorry, can I be of service to you?" one of the girls queried, sidling up beside me.
"We're lookin' for Jezebel. Any of you know 'er?"
The squeals and giggling stopped almost immediately. The girl beside me backed away and looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. Ryou was unceremoniously dumped on the floor and Yug was pushed back beside me. "What do you want with her?" demanded one of the girls.
"Do we really want to know, Colleen?" a voice from the back of the line queried.
"Her dressing room is the third door on the left," another voice stated.
"Thanks a bunch," I said, and the three of us began to edge past the line of girls. They certainly didn't make it a very difficult task. They were avoiding us as if we'd suddenly turned into poisonous spiders.
"I hope Jezebel isn't like them," Ryou whispered once we were out of comfortable hearing range.
"What? You don't like bein' called snoogy bear?" I questioned. I couldn't resist; he'd left himself wide open for that one.
Ryou went red and muttered: "They never called me that!"
"Here we are; third door on the left," Yug announced. He knocked and there was a flurry of footsteps before the door opened a crack and a familiar face poked out. "A-Anzu?" stammered Yug.
No way! I thought. No frickin' way! Not Anzu, too. What da hell is dis? Da frickin' Wizard of Oz?
"Sorry, my name is Anita," replied "Anzu". "If you're here for the after show 'entertainment', you're a little early. Come back in an hour."
Anita started to close the door, but Yug cried: "Wait! We need to talk to Jezebel! We're supposed to hire her for an assassin job!"
The door suddenly flew open and Anita yanked the three of us in the room. "Don't be screaming it out for the whole world to hear!" she yelled as she slammed the door behind us. "Dante told me you would be coming soon, but I didn't think it would be tonight. I suppose you'll be wanting to talk to Jezebel now. Good luck." She darted across a room and through a beaded curtain. From behind the curtain, we heard her announce in a sing-songy voice: "Oh, Jezebel! You have customers!"
There was a shadow of movement from behind the swaying curtain and the sound of somebody grumbling to herself before Jezebel finally emerged.
My first thought when I saw our assassin was: Oh my God; it's Mai. My second thought was: Oh my God; Mai looks hot in feathers. But it wasn't Mai. Sure, she could easily pass as Mai's identical twin if she wanted to—but there were some major differences. First off, the Mai I know definitely does not have a tail. I'm also pretty sure that the Mai I know doesn't have two huge cat-like ears sticking out the top of her head. She's one a' da mutants, I thought. We're not just hirin' a showgirl assassin named Jezebel. We're hirin' a Mai look-alike mutant showgirl assassin named Jezebel. Can this get any weirder?
Jezebel took one look at the three of us and laughed. "Sorry," she gasped through the laughter. "I thought Anita said you were customers! Ohoho!"
"We are," Ryou insisted.
Jezebel suddenly stopped laughing. Her face went hard and cold. "I'm sorry," she icily stated. "I don't work for humans." She paused and looked thoughtful for a moment before adding: "Oh, excuse me. Make that two escaped slaves and a robot."
"Huh? Robot? What're ya talkin' about?" I asked. Don't tell me she's a nutcase ta boot. That would just figure….
She marched across the room and glared at me with the creepiest expression on her face. "You don't have to pretend around me," she said. "There's no way to hide it. Your kind all smell the same." She sniffed loudly and added: "Yes. Burning rubber and metal. A very distinctive stench."
"Hey, hold on a second!" I hollered. "I ain't a robot! Jesus Christ, what're you on?"
"No?" She raised her eyebrows. "Let's see about that, shall we?" Before I could blink, she'd extended three-inch claws from her hands, slashed at my arm and retracted the claws.
"Argh! What da hell was dat for?" I demanded. "God damn! That hurt!"
She smirked. "Where's the blood, little robot boy?"
Yug and Ryou were looking at me with matched expressions of shock on their faces. It was the kind of look that told you something was very, very wrong. Slowly, I turned to look at the place I'd been slashed at. My skin was shallowly ripped open, as it should have been—but there was not a trace of blood. Not even a single drop.
Jezebel sauntered across the room, towards the curtain and flippantly advised: "You should talk to Anita about doing your dirty work. You're just her style."
She was about to disappear behind the hanging beads when Yug shouted: "Wait! Please!" She looked back over her shoulder and Yug pulled the leather pouch out of his pocket and opened it. Several glimmering diamonds spilled into his hand. So dat's what Dante gave us! I thought.
Jezebel slowly retraced her steps across the room and murmured: "All right, kid, you've got my attention. Keep talking."
"They're…they're for you," Yug explained. "All of them."
Cautiously, Jezebel selected one of the diamonds and held it closer to the gas lamp on the wall. She turned it around and around before letting out a low whistle and dropping it back into Yug's hand. "All right," she stated. "I'll take your job. Who's the mark?"
"The ruler," answered Ryou.
"The…." She trailed. "Are you out of your skulls?" She backed across the room, looking from me to Yug to Ryou as though she was afraid we were about to attack her. "No way am I going to try a stunt like that! I'm not suicidal, you know. Good luck finding anybody psycho enough to try it!"
Jezebel went to flounce off through the curtain, but Anita emerged at the exact same moment with an amused grin on her face. "Actually, Jez, you're kind of stuck," she stated, pushing Jezebel away from the curtain.
"What in the hell are you talking about, Anita?" Jezebel growled.
Anita's smile stretched wider and she cheerfully replied: "According to Assassin Guild rules, you can't back out of a job once you've agreed to take it on, and unless I'm mistaken, I heard you say 'All right, I'll take your job. Who's the mark?' That, my friend, classifies as accepting the job."
"But—there's—that's…."
Anita continued, ignoring Jezebel's stammering. "Of course, you could take it up with the Assassin's Guild. I'm sure you're very confident in your case, since the punishment for backing out of a job you've already accepted is death, after all…."
"But if I kill you, there won't be any case for the Guild to look at in the first place!" snarled Jezebel. Out came the claws as she made a fast jab at Anita's neck.
"I think not," Anita calmly stated, blocking the blow and taking hold of Jezebel's wrist. There was a blur of motion that was so confusing it was enough to make your eyes pop and Jezebel laid prone on the floor as Anita casually straightened her hair. "I've got to get out of here. I'll miss my curtain call," she said, heading for the door. "I assume you'll be taking the job, Jez, or else I'll open a case with the Assassin's Guild. Tootles!" She flipped her hand in a quick wave, gave Yug, Ryou and I a wink and raced out the door.
Jezebel painfully got to her feet, muttering: "Anita, you bitch!" She dug her claws into the wall and yanked down with a roar. The plaster gave way; leaving ten long, trailing holes in the wall. Jezebel stepped back, retracted the claws and eyed her handiwork approvingly.
Ryou was the first to recover from her outburst. He cleared his throat and queried: "So…you are working for us…right?"
The assassin grumbled, but replied: "Yes. I'm stuck with the three of you. What luck. All right, kiddies, I've got to stay here until after my dance number. Meet me down at the docks in twenty minutes. If you don't show up I'm assuming you've canceled. Got it?"
~Bakura's POV~
I walked down the alleyway, cursing the Pharaoh with every step. For Ra's sake, I thought. Is it really necessary to slink around these back roads? What does the Pharaoh care if a few of these ridiculous mortals are spooked by our appearances? If the fools are stupid enough to believe in ghosts they deserve to be scared. A good jolt would probably force some sense through their thick skulls.
I peered out of the shadows of the alley, into the wide street beyond. Mortals crowded the sidewalks and choked the road with their cars, all hurrying along to Gods know where, completely oblivious that their worthless lives were in jeopardy.
"Tomb Robber!" hissed the Pharaoh. "Stand away from the mortals."
I took another look at the scores of mortals rushing past the ally, all too occupied with their own insignificant worries to spare a glance my way and offered a derisive snort. All so pointless, I thought before turning away from the road and sliding back into the deeper shadows of the scrappy side road.
We had been tracking the source of the imbalance for several hours, and it was a very trying process. Just as it seemed certain that we had located the source's position, the wretched thing would simply pop out of existence and reappear someplace halfway across the city. As if it's toying with us, I thought. And the Pharaoh's tracking methods certainly aren't making the task any easier….
If our path happened to run across one of the main roads frequented by the mortals, the Pharaoh insisted that we keep to the labyrinth of back roads and alleys. To add an extra three miles to your path to avoid a single road is idiocy! How does the Pharaoh ever expect to find the source this way? I wondered.
As if to spite me, a tremendous wave of energy washed through the alley. It was a cold, dead energy that chilled my very soul and left a feeling of nervous anticipation crackling in the air.
"The source," said the Pharaoh. My, my, my, Pharaoh. You certainly have a talent for stating the obvious, I silently congratulated him.
I looked down to the end of the alley to a most unexpected sight indeed. The source was causing fluctuations between the two realms that were so severe everything within five feet of it appeared oddly warped and stretched. But the source itself was nothing more threatening than a tall, muscular man dressed all in shades of black. A mortal! I thought. But was it? He had no face. Impossible, I told myself. It is only the shadows. The only evidence of a face that I saw was a single, golden eye.
I knew that eye. I knew it very well. One tends to know the items one has stolen, after all. It was the Millennium Eye. My Millennium Eye!
No sooner had the thought registered in my mind when the man began to distort and, with another surge of energy, vanished from the alleyway. A faint feeling of tension lingered behind him for a moment before evaporating away as well, leaving me to wonder: What is this? What are we up against?
Author's Notes: Hello, all! Sorry about the lack of updates in the past couple of weeks—I was on vacation with no Internet access. I did manage to do something constructive before I left town, though. I sat down and I planned out where I'm going with this monster! Currently, it looks as if there are going to be 14 chapters, plus the prologue and epilogue. Now if I can just get myself back to weekly updates again….
Thanks to Ryan-Ookami, KarribuHater59, AmunRa, rikki-the-fox and Cherry15 for all your reviews! You guys are the best!