Reviews thus far:
I3itterSweet: I'm glad you like it. I hope that the chapters are getting longer and having more dialogue. Thank you so much.
DramaQueen5027: This story is loosely based on events that have occured between me and some guy friends of mine, so I was confused too!
I3itterSweet: Thank you again.
daisy: I'm so glad you are enjoying the story.
MagicalKisses: I'm glad you like this story and I'll try to update quickly and often.
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So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead
Held up so high on such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
My Happy Ending By Avril Lavigne
......................................................................................................................................................
How do people develop their self worth? I'm serious. Was there a class I missed somewhere, somehow? If you think about it, it's really odd. A series of events, most of which you have no control over, determine how you feel about yourself and how you react with others. What, exactly, happened in my short life to make me have such a bad self worth? I had a relatively normal childhood with very few traumas. So what gives?
This is what I thought about as I sat leaning against the wall of Gordo's apartment building's hall. Why, oh why did I ever have to fall for Gordo? I just realized that Gordo might, in a desperate attempt to pretend like he remotely appreciates me, try to keep me from leaving. I had to to get out of here. I had to make it to my car. I quickly collected myself and hurried down he hall, staggering a bit because my eyes were puffy from crying and I was beginning to get a headache from extreme emotion. I made it to my car but realized that I was under no condition to drive, seeing as how I couldn't even insert my key into the ignition. I collapsed on my steering wheel, crying. All I could think was 'Why is this happening?'.
I wake up slowly. Everything is cloudy and I feel a slight twinge of pain in my temple, lingering traces of a massive migraine. I was laying on my side. I could feel something soft and squishy against my face. A pillow. I was laying on something soft. I slowly open my eyes and for a second I'm completely lost. Then I slowly realize I'm lying in the very bed where Gordo had stated, none too eloquently, how he no longer cared for me. I rolled over and was surprised to see Gordo sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed. He wore a sheepish grin. How did I get here? How should I react? Should I apologize for exploding or be angry and make him apologize? I did have to decide because at that moment Gordo decided to speak. "Lizzie, I...," he trailed off. I was confused. He smashed my heart into a thousand pieces and the best apology he could come up with was 'Lizzie, I'? I raised my eyebrows, encouraging him to continue. Ha had apparently given up on the English language. Whatever. I didn't have to take this. I threw the covers off and got out of the bed. I began to make my way out of the apartment.
"Lizzie! Wait!" Gordo called after me. I should've seen that coming. I turned around and raised my eyebrows again. "I don't know what to say," is his reply. Oh geez.
"What do you want me to say, Gordo?" I nsap. This has been a very exhausting ordeal.
"I'm sorry," he finally manages to say as if the the owrds hurt him. I roll my eyes and continue to leave. They're always sorry.
"Lizzie, I'm serious. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you purposely. I was just tired and stressed and a little hung over. You see, Betta..." I cut him off right there.
"You and Betta split ways. You know it's for the best. Why can't you just embrace it?"
"I don't know. I miss having someone, I guess. I honestly don't know. She wasn't even a good girlfriend, but..." he trails off. Now I don't know what to say. I stand there awkwardly.
"Look, I do care about you," he continues. "I didn't mean to imply that I didn't. You're the best friend anyone could ever have." I hate the word 'friend' to describe a relationship between a man and a woman. What does 'friends' imply? That they care for each other, but not enough to really give themselves to each other. And a lot of guy-girl friendships are better than the serious relationships. He continues, "Maybe that's why I showed up at your door instead of Miranda's." The horrible, awful events of last night flood into my head. Wait. How did I get back to Gordo's? I distinctly remember leaving. I ask him just that.
He answers me slowly and carefully as if he has to think about what he's saying as not to slip up. "Well, you left. You were pretty mad. I just kind of sat there," he gestured to his bedroom," and let it soak in. We got into a fight, Liz. We've never fought a day in our lives. Not about anything big. I said I didn't care about you and you said you never wanted to see me again. I was in shock. I gave you twenty minutes to get home because I figured you were pissed and needed to get it out of your system. The I called your house. You didn't answer and I didn't want to leave a message. After I called for the umpteenth time, I decided to just head over to your house. I go out to the parking lot and there was your car. I go and look inside and there you are, sleeping on the steering wheel. So, I took you inside. I had to. I felt so bad for snapping at you and you were sleeping in your car." He emphasized the last few words needlessly, I thought.
"Why?" His question caught me off guard. "What do you mean 'why'?"
"Why were you sleeping in your car? You were so steamed I thought you'd be burning rubber down the highway." He was looking at me expectantly. What was I supposed to say? The truth? That I'm in love with him and to hear that he didn't care abotu me shattered my fragile crystal self worth? How could I allow myself to be so vulnerable so soon? I had just been brutally attacked emotionally by the only person I cared about. So I did the only thing I could. I turned and left.
I3itterSweet: I'm glad you like it. I hope that the chapters are getting longer and having more dialogue. Thank you so much.
DramaQueen5027: This story is loosely based on events that have occured between me and some guy friends of mine, so I was confused too!
I3itterSweet: Thank you again.
daisy: I'm so glad you are enjoying the story.
MagicalKisses: I'm glad you like this story and I'll try to update quickly and often.
.....................................................................................................................................................
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead
Held up so high on such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
My Happy Ending By Avril Lavigne
......................................................................................................................................................
How do people develop their self worth? I'm serious. Was there a class I missed somewhere, somehow? If you think about it, it's really odd. A series of events, most of which you have no control over, determine how you feel about yourself and how you react with others. What, exactly, happened in my short life to make me have such a bad self worth? I had a relatively normal childhood with very few traumas. So what gives?
This is what I thought about as I sat leaning against the wall of Gordo's apartment building's hall. Why, oh why did I ever have to fall for Gordo? I just realized that Gordo might, in a desperate attempt to pretend like he remotely appreciates me, try to keep me from leaving. I had to to get out of here. I had to make it to my car. I quickly collected myself and hurried down he hall, staggering a bit because my eyes were puffy from crying and I was beginning to get a headache from extreme emotion. I made it to my car but realized that I was under no condition to drive, seeing as how I couldn't even insert my key into the ignition. I collapsed on my steering wheel, crying. All I could think was 'Why is this happening?'.
I wake up slowly. Everything is cloudy and I feel a slight twinge of pain in my temple, lingering traces of a massive migraine. I was laying on my side. I could feel something soft and squishy against my face. A pillow. I was laying on something soft. I slowly open my eyes and for a second I'm completely lost. Then I slowly realize I'm lying in the very bed where Gordo had stated, none too eloquently, how he no longer cared for me. I rolled over and was surprised to see Gordo sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed. He wore a sheepish grin. How did I get here? How should I react? Should I apologize for exploding or be angry and make him apologize? I did have to decide because at that moment Gordo decided to speak. "Lizzie, I...," he trailed off. I was confused. He smashed my heart into a thousand pieces and the best apology he could come up with was 'Lizzie, I'? I raised my eyebrows, encouraging him to continue. Ha had apparently given up on the English language. Whatever. I didn't have to take this. I threw the covers off and got out of the bed. I began to make my way out of the apartment.
"Lizzie! Wait!" Gordo called after me. I should've seen that coming. I turned around and raised my eyebrows again. "I don't know what to say," is his reply. Oh geez.
"What do you want me to say, Gordo?" I nsap. This has been a very exhausting ordeal.
"I'm sorry," he finally manages to say as if the the owrds hurt him. I roll my eyes and continue to leave. They're always sorry.
"Lizzie, I'm serious. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you purposely. I was just tired and stressed and a little hung over. You see, Betta..." I cut him off right there.
"You and Betta split ways. You know it's for the best. Why can't you just embrace it?"
"I don't know. I miss having someone, I guess. I honestly don't know. She wasn't even a good girlfriend, but..." he trails off. Now I don't know what to say. I stand there awkwardly.
"Look, I do care about you," he continues. "I didn't mean to imply that I didn't. You're the best friend anyone could ever have." I hate the word 'friend' to describe a relationship between a man and a woman. What does 'friends' imply? That they care for each other, but not enough to really give themselves to each other. And a lot of guy-girl friendships are better than the serious relationships. He continues, "Maybe that's why I showed up at your door instead of Miranda's." The horrible, awful events of last night flood into my head. Wait. How did I get back to Gordo's? I distinctly remember leaving. I ask him just that.
He answers me slowly and carefully as if he has to think about what he's saying as not to slip up. "Well, you left. You were pretty mad. I just kind of sat there," he gestured to his bedroom," and let it soak in. We got into a fight, Liz. We've never fought a day in our lives. Not about anything big. I said I didn't care about you and you said you never wanted to see me again. I was in shock. I gave you twenty minutes to get home because I figured you were pissed and needed to get it out of your system. The I called your house. You didn't answer and I didn't want to leave a message. After I called for the umpteenth time, I decided to just head over to your house. I go out to the parking lot and there was your car. I go and look inside and there you are, sleeping on the steering wheel. So, I took you inside. I had to. I felt so bad for snapping at you and you were sleeping in your car." He emphasized the last few words needlessly, I thought.
"Why?" His question caught me off guard. "What do you mean 'why'?"
"Why were you sleeping in your car? You were so steamed I thought you'd be burning rubber down the highway." He was looking at me expectantly. What was I supposed to say? The truth? That I'm in love with him and to hear that he didn't care abotu me shattered my fragile crystal self worth? How could I allow myself to be so vulnerable so soon? I had just been brutally attacked emotionally by the only person I cared about. So I did the only thing I could. I turned and left.