Mauhucomchere

by Kittywitch

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... nor the shadow realm.

11. Yugi Horror Picture Show

Chapter 11. Mau-Stry Science Theater 2003--Yugi Horror Picture Show

The girl moved in bed. There was a cream colored ceiling beyond a pale valance.
Hey, you're awake! Said the little boy with a smile. Neko sat up at put a hand to her head, where the comb was not.
Where's my comb? She looked down. Where's my clothes?
We got them washed up for you. He indicated a pile of folded clothing with the comb on top. I hope you don't mind the nightgown, but surprisingly few stores are open at eleven o clock. Neko felt the fresh, proper bandages she had been provided with.
It's fine... thank you, but... who are you? Where am I? The boy smiled and indicated himself.
My name's Mokuba. Mokuba Kaiba. You're in the largest of the spare rooms of the Kaiba mansion.
...Kaiba... Kaiba as in Kaiba Corporation?
That's my big brother! Neko put a hand to her head and blinked a few times. Wow... I'm sorry, I mean, She said quickly, I didn't mean to impose.
Honestly, with all the room in this house, I don't think we'd notice you unless we wanted to.
Apparently, you want to. He nodded with a smile.
Seto will want to see that you're awake.
And I'd like to thank him personally.
Well, then get dressed! Seeing as you only have the clothes you came in, he wants to take you shopping.
I have my own money.
It's no trouble! Said Mokuba cheerfully, bounding out of the room.
Alot of it... I mean.. I'm Mikiko. Neko Mikiko.
That's right- I forgot to ask you your name! What did you say?
Neko. Neko Mikiko.
Mikiko?! But- you're supposed to be dead!
Three times.
No... but... where were you for those two years? How did you get away? Everyone thought you were dead! She shook slightly.
It was really easy. Taking it as a hint to drop the subject, Mokuba slipped out of the room.
It was me. She whispered.

Seto! Seto! She's awake! And you won't believe who she is!
Cursed Princess.
Close. She's Neko Mikiko. Y'know, the girl who was kidnapped? The one whose parents were found dead in their parlor, the heiress to the Mikiko fortune?
She might be lying. There's something far too fairy-tale about this whole thing. Mokuba hopped into a chair and fired up a search engine.
Images... Neko Mikiko... there! There she is! Told you!
Well, that does seem to be her. Maybe this is a double who has become delusional.
You are such a cynic.
This just seems too fairy-tale. Cursed princess...

Neko came out of her room in clean clothing, the nightgown folded on her bed. Her expression was completely blank, she would have seemed possessed, but a possessed girl would have had more expression. Her savior, such as he was, met her in the hallway.
She said expressionlessly. He raised an eyebrow.
So you are Neko Mikiko?

And did my brother introduce me?
Yes, Mr. Kaiba.
The Mr' is not necessary. You may refer to me as Seto. May I use the same familiarity?
If you wish, Mr. Kaiba. I think he's flirting with me. Why am I not feeling shame or disgust or even attraction? I am in a house I've never seen before relying on the honor of complete strangers. Why am I not worried, nor unworried? Why can I not feel? I am not even distressed by my lack of feeling, I just know intellectually that I should be. What is going on?
Would I be wrong in assuming that you have nothing besides the deck on your garter and the contents of your purse? I know that the fact he touched my garter should trigger some emotion, but I feel nothing.
Quite so. But nothing with me. However, I fear I may not return home. I will send for the remainder of my possessions as soon as I have found a semipermanent residence.
Then send for them. You may stay with us as long as you have the need or the desire.
Thank you.
But until they arrive, I think that you might want to have something besides your one dress.
I would. I will go out today, if you would be so kind as to give me the location of a local store.
I will provide you with transportation, if you are not insulted by the offer.
And if I am?
Then I will do so anyway. I like to keep track of my dueling rivals. The girl looked blankly at him and said nothing.

That was fun! Mokuba leapt over a couch with a shopping bag in each hand. The three of them had spent the entire day out, and although their refugee said very little, they had both developed a liking for her.
=^-,-^=Just read Yugi Manga AWESOME!!! Fanfic strangely keeping with book, even Téa's ho-ish-ness
Are you sadistic? Asked Seto.

I hate going out in public. Anyway, Mokuba, it's late.
You mean I have to go to bed now?
That would be it. Mokuba began up the stairs, followed by Neko, with several bags in her arms.
I think I might watch a movie or two before I turn in, if it doesn't disturb anyone.
Neko, your room is far enough from the rest of us that you jump up and down on the couch screaming, we wouldn't notice.
Said Neko, flashing a DVD case over her shoulder. It was black and bore on it's cover a pair of violently red lips. Kaiba said nothing but threw Neko a quizzical look as she ascended the stairs.

You look tired, Neko. Said Mau as Neko turned her television on.
I'm not tired... Said Neko, sitting down by her spectral counterpart. The lips from the cover came onto the screen and, to Neko's disgust, began to sing.
Michael Rene was ill the day the earth stood still, and he told us, were we stand... and flash Gordon was there in silver underwear, Clark Renes was the invisible man... then something went wrong for Fay Ray and King Kong... they got caught in a cellular jam... then at a deadly pace, it came from... outer space... and this is how the message ran... Her head drooped. Not tired at all... And with that, she was asleep. The sounds and images from the television where filtered by her own mind before Mau could see them, and therefore, the movie. The voice of the singer changed, and now it had a familiar British accent. Mau, having seen it when it first came out, did not particularly mind, and watching it with Neko's filter certainly made it a different experience. Science fiction... double feature...
Double featuring with Lord of the Rings.. this will be a first...
Dr. X will build a creature... see androids fighting.. Neko and Yugi...
Mau double took.
Anne Francis stars in... Forbidden Planet...Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh... At the late night... double feature... picture show...

As the song wore on, Mau pulled out a lighter and swung it slowly in tune to the music.
Say, where are we again?
At the late night... double feature... picture show... I wanna go...

To the late night... double feature... picture show...
Who's it by?
By RKO...Ah oh, wo oh oh...
Where are Neko and Yugi hiding?
In the back row...
Sing it, Bakura!
Ah oh, wo oh oh...To the late night... double feature... picture show... The singing lips faded away to a simple white church. The final threads of a wedding filtered away, leaving two, sadly familiar people in front of the building.
Oh, no. Moaned Mau.
Yugi looked pretty much normal, which was weird, and Neko had on a short dress, for her, with curled hair. The first nuances of music began to play.
No.. not more singing...
Hey Janet. Said Yugi suddenly.
Yes Brad? Answered Neko, who was apparently now Janet.
I've got something to say.
Uh huh?
I really love the...
Said Mau over his next word.
...way... you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet.
Oh, Brad!
So if Neko had her brain surgically removed she'd be called Janet?
Yugi, too, seemed to be short on brains at the moment and began to, of all things, sing, as Gaia Morgana and William Cuthworth cleaned the church and sang very disgruntled backup.
The river was deep, but I swam it!
Said the disgusted duelists together, moving a bench.
The future is ours, so let's plan it!

So, please, don't tell me to can it!

I've one thing to say and it's: Dammit! Janet! I love you!

The road was long but I ran it!

There's a fire in my heart and you fan it!

If there's one fool for you then I am it!

Now there's one thing to say and that's: Dammit! Janet! -
I wanna screw!
Here's the ring to prove that I'm no joker...
Just a cheap shake!
There's three ways that love can bloom... That's good, bad and mediocre... J-A-N-E-T I love you so!
May I reinstate that Yugi singing this is far past wrong? Moaned Mau, unable to pass comment until the ridiculous sequence had ended. The steeple of the church faded to the inside of a cushy library. There, leaning against a well-made desk, was Isuzu Ishtar, of all people. She looked up with the evilist smile that ever graced a woman's face.
I would like- She laughed, If I may...
You may.
To take you... on a strange journey.
How strange is it? Asked Mau with a smirk.
You might actually enjoy it, bitch.
Are you addressing me?
How many homicidal whores are around right now? Conscience ones?
The television is talking to me... this is, needless to say, a very confused remake.
You have not seen anything yet, you sad fool! Hissed Isuzu. Suddenly, a voice came from off screen.
Stick to the script! Hissed Shadi. Isuzu sighed and continued.
It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors and his finacée Janet Weiss, two young, healthy kids... blah blah blah you're not even listening are you? It was a night out they where going to remember for a very long time...
=^-,-^= I'm starting to apprehend Lord of the Rings.
Neko-Janet and Yugi-Brad drove though the woods, their headlights boring into the dark and the rain. Suddenly, a motorcycle whizzed past them. Janet cried out.
That's the third motorcyclist that's passed us! They sure are taking their lives in their hands, driving around tonight.
Agreed Yugi, finding it very hard to drive, as he still hadn't gotten his permit and was not used to glasses. Life's pretty cheap to that type. The headlights finally settled on something, unfortunately, it was a dead-end sign.
We must have taken a wrong turn a few miles back.
But were did that motorcyclist come from?
Do you really want to know?
Well, I guess we could always turn back. Sighed Yugi-Brad, turned around to back up. That's when the excrement collided with a set of rotating blades. With a bang, the back tire deflated.
What was that?!
We must have a flat tire. Dammit! He slapped the steering wheel. I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed.
So why didn't you? Don't you know you're in a B-rate movie?
He sighed, You just stay here and I'll go fetch help.
But where will you go? We're in the middle of nowhere! Yugi-Brad thought a moment.
Didn't we pass a castle a few mile back? Maybe they have a phone I could use.
I'm going with you.
Oh no, there's no sense in both of us getting wet.
And raped.
I'm coming with you! Besides, what if the owner of that phone is a beautiful woman and you never come back again?
Then it sucks to be you.
Once again, the music started. Neko-Janet held a newspaper over her head while Yugi Brad led them down the disgustingly muddy road.
Mau squirted a water gun into the air.
In the veil of the darkness of the blackest night... burning bright... there's a guiding star... No matter what or who you are... Sang Neko-Janet. She was then joined by Yugi-Brad and twelve hidden singers.
There's a light...
Over at the Frankenstein place! Mau, sacrificing all dignity, sang along.
There's a light....
Burning in the fire place!
There's a light... a light...
In the darkness... of everybody's life...
=^-,-^= So glad I decided against doing Moulin Rouge!
Suddenly within the castle, a silhouette began to sing. He had something vaguely reminiscent of a mullet and a cute British accent.
Darkness must flow down the river of night's screaming... flow Morpheus, flow let the sun and light come streaming... into my life... INTO MY LIFE....
Gothy, much?
There's a light...
Mau swung the lighter again.
There's a light...
Burning in the fireplace! There's a light... a light...
In the darkness... of every... body's life...

And so, it seemed that fate had smiled on Brad and Janet and provided the assistance which their plight required. Explained Isuzu, again in the library. She smiled the evil smile. Or had they?

The two reluctant actors stood on the front door of a castle dripping wet. Yugi's hair in this state is not a pretty sight. It had, devoid of hair spray, fallen to about his mid-back and dripped red coloring onto his clothes. His bangs were just limp and plastered to his forehead. He knocked.
Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened...
Now just a minute, they might a phone we can use. Just then the door opened. There stood Bakura, wearing more black and more eyeliner than usual.
You're wet.
Said Neko-Janet, as both of our heroes sweat dropped. It's raining.
I think you both better come inside...
You're too kind. Responded Neko-Janet, although she gave Yugi-Brad a very dirty look. Oh, Brad, Im frightened! What kind of place is this?
It's a porn shop. I come here often.
It's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdoes.
I wouldn't be calling anyone a weirdo with that hair. Muttered Bakura-Riff-Raff under his breath.
What was that?
Um, I said you've come on a very special night. It's one of the master's affairs.
Lucky him. Muttered Neko. Suddenly, strange figure in a maid's outfit spoke up from her perch upon the banister.
You're lucky, he's lucky, we're all lucky!!! Cried Angelie, sliding down to the first floor.
I'd be luckier if I had what you were smoking.
Music began again.
It's astounding; time is fleeting... Sang Bakura, walking over to a grandfather clock.
Show us your mother, Riff!
madness takes it's toll... He continued, opening it to show a skeleton.
Please have exact change.
But listen closely!
Not for very much longer! Added Angelie-Magenta.
I've got to...
Smoke a bowl!
I remember doing the time warp! Drinking...
Like right now?
Those moments when... the blackness would hit me... He linked fingers with Angelie-Magenta and spun around...
And the void would be calling...
...until they crashed through a door, where a large group of strange people danced. These people included Duke Deblin, Joey, Tristan, Mai Valentine, Arcana, Rat, Esparoba and his brothers.
Let's do the Time Warp again!!!

Isuzu pulled down a dance chart and pointed to the first direction.
It's just a jump to the left-

And then a step to the right!

Put your hands on your hips-

And bring your knees in tight!!! But it's the pelvic thrust! That really drives you insane! Let's do the Time Warp again!
It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me! So you can't see me, no, not at all. In another dimension, with voyeuristic intentions... Well secluded, I see all. Sang Angelie-Magenta, seemingly unaware that when she danced in that little maid outfit everyone in the room saw her underwear.
With a bit of a mind flip... Sang Bakura-RiffRaff, with no intention of telling his sister about her little problem.
You're into the time slip!
And nothing can ever be the same...
You're spaced out on sensation!!
Like you're under sedation!!!
Let's do the time warp again!!! Sang everyone but the petrified guests. The camera swung through the room until it settled on one particular person, wearing very little more than a chorus line outfit and plaid boxers.
So... this is your day job? Well, I can see what you were doing on the streets...
Téa angled up the top hat for her solo.
Well, I was walking down the street just a-
Selling myself
When this snake of a guy gives me a little wink, he shook me up, he took me by surprise, he had a pick-up truck and the devil's eyes, he stared at me and I felt a change, time meant nothing, never would again!
Let's do the Time Warp again!
Mau, clearly under the influence of at least sleep toxins, jumped up and did the time warp.
Téa, or rather Columbia, squeaking like a chipmunk on crack, began to tap-dance, and did not stop until, as she spun across the room, Bakura, or rather Riffraff, innocently stuck out his leg and tripped her. About that time, everyone, including the musicians, (and Mau) collapsed, leaving Neko-Janet and Yugi standing nervously above the heap. Neko-Janet nudged Brad.
Say something! She hissed.
...um.... Say! Do any of you guys know how to Madison? Neko facefalled. The unconventional conventioneers gave Brad a very strange look.
Brad, please, let's get out of here... She moaned, pulling him towards the exit.
For god's sake, get a grip on yourself, Janet.
But... it seems so unhealthy here!
It's just a party.
We should go!
We're not going anywhere until I get to a telephone.
Then ask someone!
We don't want to interrupt the celebration. They're probably just foreigners with ways different then us. They may do some more... uh, folk dancing. As they picked themselves up, the unconventional conventioneers got the rare sight of seeing a small girl plead like a cocker spaniel with someone she could turn over her shoulder and march out with if she wanted to. Now that his hair was wet, the different in their heights was significantly pronounced.
I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared! She wailed, waterfalling.
I'm here, there's nothing to worry about-
Except being raped, and we already discussed that, and I'm here, so we'll be raped together! These's freaks are weird enough to do that!
Suddenly the two stopped fighting and realized there was a elevator behind them. On the elevator, there stood an imposing cloaked figure with his back to them. The door opened and he turned around.

How'ya do, I... Sang Seto Kaiba, wearing a touch of eye makeup and a long cloak which covered EVERYTHING, ....see you've met my... faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because, when you knocked... he though you were the candy man. He strutted out to the center of the dance room.
Don't get strung out by the way I look! Don't judge a book by it's cover... I'm not much of a man by the light of day... but by night I'm one hell of a lover!!! At this point in the proceedings, Kaiba-furter turned around and threw off the cloak, flashing an impressive set of woman's undergarments. Neko-Janet and Yugi-Brad cringed.
I'm scarred for life!
I'm just a sweet transvestite!! At this point Mau snatched the remote and fast-forworded through this seance, only able to discover the rare experience of Seto Kaiba dancing on her screen in fishnets at high speed.
So- come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici-- Neko stared at him, but he said nothing.
Say it!
--pation. But maybe the rain isn't really to blame. So I'll remove the cause... but not the symptom! And with that, he disappeared back up the elevator. Téa-Columbia and Angelie-Magenta came forward and roughly undressed Neko and Yugi.

She cried. She covered herself as best she could. I don't like short skirts!
Oh, don't worry. Your slip's MUCH longer than Téa's average skirt.
And while Neko-Janet was still more covered than Téa-Columbia, she shrunk next to Yugi in shame, than realized he was also wearing nothing but glasses, socks, briefs and wet hair.
You're very lucky to be invited up to the master's lab. Said Téa, Some people would give their right arm to see it. Yugi-Brad, very disgruntled about be stripped, snapped, People like you, maybe!
She threw over her shoulder, I've seen it! And then she threw their clothes over her shoulder as well. They were led unceremoniously up to a large, omni-theater type lab, where they were allowed to cover themselves somuchas what could be covered by a lab coat. The unconventional conventioneers stood above in lofts, looking down at Kaiba-Furter, his ladies' underwear mostly covered by a labcoat.
Magenta, Columbia- He called. Angelie and Téa respectively turned to him, Go and assist Riffraff. The servants rolled their eyes but did as they were told. He then faced the visitors.
It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone show them-
Free sex.
Snapped Yugi-Brad.
Oh, that's what they're calling it now.
All we wanted to do was to use your telephone, goddammit, a reasonable request, which you've chosen to ignore!
Now, don't be ungrateful- Soothed Neko-Janet.

How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant. You must be awfully proud of him, Janet. Neko-Janet said nothing but shot Kaiba-Furter a look that could maim. He looked taken aback a moment before Baruka-Raff interrupted them.
Everything is in readiness, Master. We merely await your word. Seto-furter stood up and gave a speech that Mau heard about three seconds of before she fast forwarded. Seto-Furter walked over to a large tank which contained what appeared to be mummy floating in water. He joyfully ordered around his unusually-clad assistants and proceeded to turn the mummy in water into a mummy in a rainbow jello-mold.
So that is what the technologies of the Kaiba corporation are amounting to... jello.
Kaiba screamed something about an osolatior and Angelie started flipping switches. Suddenly, a bolt of electricity shot into the tank and vaporized the... well, it actually WAS jello, leaving only stains on the glass. The mummy twitched. The hands gripped the sides of the tank and the creation sat up. Immediately, Bakura-Raff, Angelie-Magenta, and Téa-mbia ran forward and started snipping off bandages. Flashes of pale skin appeared through the fold of fabric until finally Bakura-Raff pulled off the head covering, and gave the creation a VERY strange look.
Oh, by Isis...
Oh! Rocky! Screamed Kaiba-furter with apparent joy. His creation, Oni, threw him a disgusted look and leapt onto on of the balconies with a hiss of, I'm getting out of this disgusting fanfic before you even touch me. He ran threw the crowd of unconventional conventioneers, who all seemed very interested in touching his golden loincloth as he ran past. In the end, much to his disgust, Kaiba-furter caught him.
What?! The cut the Sword of Damacilus' out of this version? It's the only time he talks in the entire movie! She paused. That might be a good thing...
Well, really! That's no way to behave on your first day out! But since I created you with the sole intent of getting laid, I'm prepared to forgive you. Oni gave Kaiba-furter a look that said so very much about what he felt in that moment.
And that's why it's Rocky Horror.
He cried like a little schoolgirl, I just love success!
And you love your successes.
He's a credit to your genius, master... but... why did you make it look like me? Is there something you want to tell me?
Oh, yes! Cried Kaiba, lapping it up.
A triumph of your will. Drool. Purred Angelie, snapping the band to his loincloth. Oni flashed yet another look that could kill.
He's okay! Agreed Téa-Coulmbia. Kaiba-Furter showed Columbia where Oni picked up the deadly look.
He yelled, the wind blowing her back, her eyes rather large. OKAY?! I think we can do better than that! He grabbed Oni by the arm and led him over to Neko and Yugi. What do you think of him?
Hey, Janet, he's speaking to you. Janet. Janet! He nudged her hard in the side and she stopped openly drooling.
Um... I don't like men who are... um.. creepy... Kaiba-furter sucked his teeth and let slip his lung power again, this time on Janet, almost knocking her over.
HE'S NOT FOR YOU, IS HE?!?! He then proceeded to dance around like a great big poof, singing and drooling over poor Oni, who, like a cat in a reindeer outfit, seemed to be plotting his escape. While dancing around like a great big poof, or maybe Richard Simmons, he accidentally hit a switch on the wall and a large door opened. There, in a large pile of ice, stood a figure on a motorcycle. Suddenly, he kicked it to life and rode it into the middle of the room.
Shrieked Colum-Téa. Eddie' took off his helmet and let his light blond hair fly across his dark skin. Neko started drooling again. Shaking frost off of his gold ornaments, Merrik began to sing.
Oh... my... gods... wait a second who is he??
=^-,-^= Not far enough in the actual story yet. Neko has not yet encountered Merrik. I emphasize yet'.
Whatever happen to Saturday night? You're at your job and you felt alright? Merrik's singing voice was better than might be imagined, considering, but thankfully, he spent most of the time attached to a gaudy saxophone with Hieroglyphs all over it.
It's the millennium sax!
Colmum-Téa would have none of this, however. She displayed in simple terms that she would much prefer it if he was attached to her. After circling the room several times with Téa behind him on the motorcycle, Kaiba-Furter brutally murdered him and hid the remains in the freezer. Téa screamed alot. Oni took this as a time to try to sneak away. Unfortunately, Kaiba-futer did not supply him with the necessary knowledge to work a elevator and he got stuck. Whether it was fortunate or not, as soon as Eddie-Merrik was very dead, Kaiba freed his creation, in one sense at least.
Don't be upset... Soothed the creator.
Please still sleep with me!
It was a mercy killing... at least now you're the hottest evil blond around!
Why did he specify blond? Asked Yugi-Brad. Neko just shook her head and went back to drooling. Still singing, Kaiba took Oni away from the crowd to reenact his sexual fantasies.
=^-,-^= Lucky bastard

A shadow and a threat was growing in the minds of Brad and Janet as they were shown to their separate rooms... Narrated Isuzu, still in the library. Heh heh, that's right, wench, keep your dirty little hands off of Yugi... The camera shifted onto Shadi, who had it on a slight angle. He seemed to be holding it.
Excuse me, we seem to be having some technical problems. He moved out of the camera's view and there was a loud snapping sound.

Keep to the script! And pull yourself together, we've got four numbers left!
He killed my little brother, the bas-
It's just a movie. Besides, you still want to sleep with him, don't you?
That cool murder-ness... drool... he killed my brother and that little whore's going to try to put the moves on him, I know it!!!
Calm down! Let me get your valleum...

Yugi was getting settled into bed in a loaned robe. Téa and Angelie, the perverts that they are, were watching him undress over the intercom. And so, by default, was Mau.
Wait a second, if Brad's there... and there's Janet's room... In her room, Neko-Janet sat up when she heard her door open.
Who is it? Who's there?
I's only me, Janet.
Oh! Come in. And he did. He' being Kaiba in a Yugi wig. He even came so far in as to join Neko in bed.
Um... weren't we waiting for our wedding night...? Asked Janet as she was getting -ahem- imposed upon. Touching his hair, the wig fell off. She screamed.
You're not Brad!!! BRAD!!
I'm afraid not, but wasn't it nice? Grinned Kaiba.
You beast! You monster! You pedaphile! What have you done to Brad?
Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
You tricked me... I'd never... never..
Well, you've got to understand, that's the only way he EVER gets any. Why do you think he had to make Rocky?
Yes, yes.. I know, but NO ONE CAN RESIST MY CHARMS!!!
What charms?
Shut up. I'm going to take advantage of you now.

A few minutes later, having switched his spiky wig for a long black one, Kaiba-futer crept into Yugi's room.
Image!! Oh images I don't need! We can just skip this scene... no yoai for Kaiba!!!

The very imposed-upon Oni was having a well-deserved sleep. Unfortunately, this sleep was not undisturbed.
Everything's disturbed about that boy.
Bearing a blowtorch, Bakura crept up on Oni.
You creep me out, dude. Go away.
Hey! This hair spray's flammable!
Actually, Mau had that dialogue. Bakura just hissed at his older counterpart until he broke his chains and ran off. Bakura turned to Angelie with a grin and took her hands again.
Now we can interrupt the master's naughty bits! Bwahaha!

Neko-Janet had hidden in the lab and was having a panic attack.
What happening here? Where's Brad? Where's anybody? Oh, Brad, how could I have done this to you? If only we hadn't made this journey! If-
I only had a brain!
...Oh, if only we were with friends... or sane persons!
Moaned a pile of flesh in the corner. Neko-Janet turned around in shock that she wasn't alone. Hiding, with cuts all over him, in the jello tank, was Oni. Neko ran up to him.
Oh... you're hurt... She moaned, putting a hand over his wounds. He gave her a look only a bishonen in pain can give to someone who is stating the obvious
Here... I'll dress your wounds... She offered, tearing hunks off of her slip so that it was just as short as Téa's average skirt.

Emotion: agitation or disturbance of the mind. Vehement or excited mental state. Said Shadi, reading from what was either the dictionary or the script, while Isuzu struggled with her bonds and gag in the chair behind him. I have learned over many years not to show any. Janet, on the other hand, has not. Judging from what Magenta and Columbia peeped in on, the perverts, Janet was, indeed, it's slave.

Angelie-Magenta and Colum-Téa lounged in front of a television screen which connected to security cameras.
Tell us about, Janet!
Mau cocked an eyebrow.

I was feeling done in... couldn't move... I'd only ever kissed before... Sang Neko, opening her shirt.

You mean she's- Gasped Téa.
Uh huh.

I thought there's no use getting... into heavy petting... it only leads to trouble and... seat wetting... now all I want to know.. is how to go.. I've tasted blood and I want more...
Well, if my virginity was wasted on Kaiba, I'd want some actual man, too. I understand that.

More, more, more... Sang our two perverts of the hour.

I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance... I've got an itch to scratch... I need assistance! She grabbed one of his hands and shoved her breast into it. He scratched experimentally. Toucha toucha toucha touch me! I wanna be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me! Creature of the night!
Mau put her face in her hands and shook her head.
Then if anything grows, te he! While you pose... I'll oil you up and drop you down...

Down, down, down...
Okay, stop cheering for the fellatio!
And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction; You need a friendly hand, I need action. Toucha toucha toucha touch me! I wanna be dirty!
You're getting dirty--do you know where that's been?! Oh, wait, you were between Frankenfurter's legs too. Never mind!
Oni cocked an eyebrow, then smirked. If you insist... And proceeded to do exactly what was asked of him, both stated and implied. TMI. This did nothing to stop her singing but change the pitch a few decibels.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me! Sang Téa-bia, tossing her hair and making fun of Janet.
I wanna be dirty! Agreed Anglie-Magenta, pointing her blow dryer down Téa-bia shirt, which changed the pitch of her singing, also.
Ekk! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me!
Creature of the night...

Oh! Toucha toucha toucha touch me! I wanna be dir- Oni covered her mouth. The singing is a bit of a turn off. With his wench stifled, Oni started enjoying this meeting even more.
Creatur- ah- of the night... He gasped.

Yugi-Brad, leading Kaiba-furter out of his room, heard the commotion and wondered aloud what was going on.
Creature of the night? Kaiba-furter smiled evilly as he walked away, although he really didn't have a clue. Creature of the night...

Magenta caught Colum-Téa's head under her arm and stifled her from singing, and victoriously proclaimed: Creature of the night! Bakura-Raff, walking through the halls during all of this, and seeing his sister playing' with Columbia, just shook his head and muttered, Creature of the night. That was when Téa got her head free.
Creature of the night!!!

Creature of the night... Oni purred again. Neko-Janet, seconds from passing out, gasped, guess what, Creature of the night.
Mau sighed and shook her head.
Just then, unbeknownst to the two um, busier people, Bakura-Raff had just entered, followed by Kaiba-furter, who was ripping him a new asshole, and Yugi-Brad, who wasn't.
Mercy! OUCH! Moaned Bakura-Raff, falling to the ground.
Another hurt bishie?
How did it happen?! I understood you were to be watching!!
Ow.. I was only away for a minute, master... he was asleep...
Just see if we can find him with the security cameras!
Master... we have a visitor... Muttered BakuraRaff. The two others mushed around the screen.
Hey, that Dr. Scott!
You know this earthling? Asked BakuraRaff. Kaibafurter stepped on his foot. Ow! Um.. person?
He's an old friend of mine!
A very old friend.
I see. This wasn't a chance meeting. He shoved Yugi-Brad away from the screen. You came here with a purpose! Backing away from the significantly taller than him, although his hair had dried, Kaibafurter, he pleaded, Wait a second! My car just broke down! I wouldn't make that up, you know that!
Well, yeah, you're too much of a good dooby.
I know what you told me. But this Dr. Scott, his name is not unknown to me.
He's a professor at some college or another, excuse me, I'm kinda messed up right now!
And now he works for your government. Isn't that right, Brad?!
How should I know that?! Do you think he would tell an idiot like me?!
Got yourself pinned, Yugi.
Breaking up this heated discussion, Bakura interjected, The intruder is entering the building, master. He's in the Zen room. Kaibafurter, in a huff, turned on a very big and shiny electromagnet. Now we get to see who's playing poor Dr. Scott. In a wheelchair, Solomon Muto got pulled up and down stairs, through hallways, in circles in the girls' room, and finally through a wall to face the assembled.
Dr. Frankenfurter, He coughed through a mouthful of drywall, We meet at last.
Dr. Scott! Cried Yugi happily.
Brad! What are you doing here?
Don't play games. You know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan, was it not? That he and his fiancee should check the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you, all the plans are to be changed. I am adaptable, Dr. Scott; I know Brad is. At this point, Yugi-Brad melted into a puddle of shame.
I assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a complete surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie.
Said Yugi with an evil grin, I've seen him... ouch! KaibaFurter then hit Yugi in the stomach so hard he fell over.
And what do you know about Eddie, Dr. Scott?
I happen to know a great deal of things. You see, Eddie happens to be my nephew. There was a sudden giggle, and Neko and Oni stood up, then noticed they were no longer alone.
Heh heh... She laughed, sweatdropping.
Um... Brad... Strained Neko-Janet, I can explain EVERYTHING.
Explain why you're in bed with MY love-slave, bitch!
And after you were having a panic attack about cheating on Brad, too... Commented Mau.
Said Dr. Scott, now extremely interested.
...Dr. Scott... She continued to sweatdrop.
Squeaked Yugi.
She shrieked.
Gasped Kaibafurter.

...Dr. Scott... .




...Dr. Scott... .


Then, Angelie entered, bearing a gong, which she hit hard enough to make them say something else.
Master! Dinner is prepared!
Understanding the circumstances... formal dress will be optional! Snapped Kaibafurter, sweeping away from his various guests.

While Neko and Oni were busy, Isuzu was also not idle. She had managed to loosen her bonds to some extent but Shadi was still acting narrator.
Food has always played a vital role in life's rituals.The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned man, and now, this meal. Will you cut that out? It's for your own good, you know.


A toast... Suggested Kaibafurter, raising his glass. To absent friends.
To absent friends. Toasted the whole.
He added with no small joy, To Rocky! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Rocky- Shall we? His guests, many of whom were still singing, began to eat. Rocky picked up a hunk of what appeared to be pork and started gnawing on it. Téa-bia nudged him and gestured to use silverware. The first person to speak was Dr. Scott.
We came here to discuss Eddie.
That's a rather tender subject. Another slice, anyone? Everyone but Kaibafurter and Oni stopped eating. Neko, who had stopped her fork halfway to her mouth gave it a most horrified look.
Excuse me. Said Téa-bia quietly. Once outside, not so quietly, she wailed.
It's not like it's the first time you've eaten' him.
I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined. Aliens!
Cried Yugi and Neko.
Go on, Dr. Scott. Or should I say-

Just what exactly are you implying?! Snapped Yugi.
It's alright.
But Dr. Scott-
It's alright Brad.
Time out for you.
From the day he born, he was trouble. He was the thorn in his mother's side. She tried in vain...

But it never caused her nothing but shame. Said Shadi flatly, until Isuzu managed to get her gag off long enough to shout, Double negative! Shadi then retied her gag.

He left on the day she died... From the day she was gone! Sang Dr. Solomon, All he wanted was rock n' roll, porn, and a motorbike. Shooting up junk.

Isuzu nodded sadly.
He was a low-down, cheap little punk. Said Shadi expressionlessly.

Taking everyone for a ride... Said Dr. Scott. Then the entire table joined in.
When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy, you knew he was a no-good kid! But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife-
What a guy. Sang Kaibafurter.
Makes you cry. Added Neko.
Eunt I deed.

Break to Columbia's Eddie shrine.
Everybody shoved him; I very nearly loved him. I said, hey, listen to me; Stay safe inside insanity! But he locked the door and threw away the key!

But he must have been drawn-
Not sketched but drawn...
Into somezing. Making him warn me in a note which reads:
What's it say, what's it say?
Suddenly, Merrik's voice came out of nowhere.
I'm outta my head. Oh, hurry, or I may be dead. They mustn't carry out their evil deeds! YAAHHH!!!
That's your job, right?
When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy, you knew he was a no-good kid! But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife-
What a guy. Sang Kaibafurter.
Makes you cry. Added Neko.
Eunt I deed.
They finished as a whole. Then Kaibafurter, with no small flourish, showed them the remainder of Eddie's corpse. Neko clings to Oni and Kaiba flips out.
Run, Forest, run.
And there was a chase seance which ended in the lab with all Kaiba's toys...
=^-,-^= hence the casting
Kaibafurter signaled to his minions, who flipped a switch, and the guests were all stuck to the floor. Taking this as an opportunity to feel up Janet without being attacked by nerdy midgets, he did so.

And then she cried out- Began Shadi, while Isuzu changed her focus from her gag to her tied wrists.

Screamed Neko with much more resonance than I can write without it coming out stoop'.
You're a hotdog! But you better not try to hurt her, Frankfurter! Sang Yugi, swinging at him. Kaibafurter snapped and Angelie flipped the Medusa switch. There now stood a naked Yugi statute.
You're a hotdog! But you better not try to hurt her, Frankfurter!' Agreed Dr. Scott. He was then also Medusaed.
You're a- Began Neko-Janet, but she was turned directly to stone, so that she wouldn't have to try to rhyme me' with Frankenfurter'.
I don't believe it. Hissed Téabia,
Finally out of that chorus line outfit and into some sensible pajamas?
I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again...I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing! You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough. You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head! Kaibafurter snapped again, and there stood a nude Téa statue.
Well, there goes the sensible pajamas.
It's not easy having a good time... even smiling makes my face ache... and my playthings turn on me...Rocky is behaving just the way that Eddie did.
We grow weary of this planet! Snapped Magenta-Angelie, When can we return to the Transylvania?
Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother. You have both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded. You will discover that when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous.
That's what you said to Janet.
We ask for nothing.
And you shall receive it. In abundance! He then stormed off.

Isuzu was now quite firmly chained to her chair.
=^-,-^= I really didn't plan this part! It's Isuzu's fault!
Eban de outer ess bemen dison me.
And so, by some extraordinary coincidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment with their friend, Dr.Scott. But it was to be in a situation which none of them would have possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their love to one another, Brad and Janet had both tasted forbidden fruit. This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals. What further indignities were they to be subjected to? What was going to happen next? In an empty house? In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan had seized Frank's crazed imagination? Narrated Shadi in her place.

At this point, half the cast, in fact, everyone but Bakura and Angelie, the most likely people to actually do this, aside from Téa of course, put on ladies' undergarments and pancake makeup and danced around like a great big poof. Including Yugi. and Solomon. We don't want to think about either of those people in fishnets. You don't want to read about these people in fishnets.
=^-,-^= I don't wanna write about either of these people in fishnets!
And so, for the sake of time,
Yeah,
=^-,-^= Time, exactly!
Will you two shut up! Ahem, we will cut to directly after Oni and Kaiba's deaths. Respectively, WAA! and woo-hoo! Anyway,
You killed them! Shrieked Neko. You monster!
I don't understand... Said Angelie, I thought you liked him. He liked you. Bakura then flipped out.
HE DIDN'T LIKE ME! HE NEVER LIKED ME! NO ONE LIKES ME!
Maybe if you didn't scream...
I like you. Said Mr. Muto suddenly. There was a pause.

You're okay by me.
I'm sorry about your nephew, Dr. Scott.
Oh, Eddie? He had it coming.
You must leave now, while it is still possible. We are going to leave for Transylvania, which will consequently blow this building to pieces. Go now.
Right then! Whimpered Neko, who grabbed the other two by the arms and ran out of there as quickly as possible. They just managed to get out of the building in time, and Yugi just managed to get a solo. While pulling themselves out of the wet rubble, still in fishnets, our heroes took this one last chance to sing.
I've done alot... Yugi sang quietly, tears running down his face in sheer thankfulness for getting out of that castle alive, ...god knows I've tried... to find the truth... He cupped his hands into a puddle and looked at his over-made reflection, I've even lied... and all I know... is down is inside I'm bleeding... Plunging his face into the water, breaking his own reflection.
And super heroes... Sang Neko, pulling off one opera glove, ...come to feast... She closed her eyes and unclipped her garter belt, ...to taste the flesh... loosened her bustier, Not yet deceased... and all I know... is still the beast is feeding... She turned to Yugi and helped him right the doctor's wheelchair. Neither of them strong enough to push it alone, they each took a bar and walked together.
He asked quietly, After all that's happened... do you still want to get married? Janet looked at Brad in the mangled lingerie. She looked at the man who threatened some obscenely powerful man for her safety while he was in a helpless position. She looked at the man who would still have her after she cheated on him twice in one night. She looked and Brad and wondered, in light of what he was that moment, wondered how she could have settled for the geeky little guy who proposed to her hours ago.
Of course.

And crawling... Said Shadi ever blankly as Isuzu struggled, On the planets face... some insects... called the human race. Lost in time... and lost in space... Isuzu broke free of the gag.
And meaning! Shadi hit her over the back of the head.

As the closing credits rolled, Mauhucomchere proved that she was the cruelest woman alive. Yawning widely she disturbed Neko in her sleep.

What a great movie, don't you think?
It's over already?
Yep. Wanna switch it over to Lord of the Rings, oh, one with physical hands?
Mmm... yeah.. aah.. sure...
=^-,-^= See Kittywitch. See Kittywitch get flamed. Get flamed, Kittywitch, get flamed!