Diablo B-Team Heroes
Chapter 2: The Wrath of Aimless Wandering
A day and a half passed and Erg, Joe and Alex stop to rest beside the path they were taking. To their left, a small field of tall crab grass lay quivering within the wisps of wind that caressed the earth.
Erg- Erg no like walking! Erg hate stupid rocks! Pebbles in Erg's shoes hurt like hemoroids!
Joe reaches into his pocket, smiling a bit toward Mary Jane, then looking over at Erg.
Joe- Kill the pain....kill the pain...
In Joe's hand there was a small pipe. Handing it to Erg, the young Druid pulled out what appeared to be a piece of flint, a striking stone, and a small hole above a hard wooden block which held a special oil for making fire.
Joe- This here is a lighter.
Joe's hand moved toward Erg's, placing the Druid contraption in the palm of the Germanic Barbarian. Erg blinked a few times before putting the pipe in his mouth. Erg flicked the striking stone against the flint, causing a small flame to ignite. After a few minutes of inhaling, Erg's formerly disgruntled look was replaced by a spacey expression.
Erg- Erg.....like tastey...smoke....
Alex, meanwhile, was growing quite aggrivated with the two before him.
Alex- Hey! We have no food! No way of getting any! And no money! And all you guys are worried about is learning how to kill the pain of a foot hemoroid?!
Joe slowly turned to Alex.
Joe- You know....you could mellow out...
Alex- And you could stop being such a worthless bum!
Mary Jane growled at the angry paladin. Alex narrowed his eyes at the dire wolf.
Alex- What're you looking at?!
Mary Jane's mouth opened, clamping down onto Alex's arm, shaking him wildly like a chew toy.
Alex- GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AH THE PAIN!
Joe shook his head, laughing.
Joe- Mary Jane's just playing with you....
As the dire wolf continued to shake the helpless paladin around, a traveller could be seen walking just by the tall grass. As he walked, the familiar shadow of the woman from the bar darted out, snatching him into the tall grass. Erg, once again, was the only one who saw the unerrving event.
Erg- Shadow lady snatch man! Erg afraid he's gonna be next! Erg don't like scary assassin!
Joe- What are you talking about Erg? We're out here in the middle of nowhere....there's no one here....
Joe looked at his pipe, muttering beneath his breath.
Joe- This stuff's stronger than I thought....
Mary Jane finally put the paladin down. Alex lay on the ground, breathing heavily.
Alex- Damn that mutt! Gah!
Alex quickly got to his feet, turning his nose up toward his saliva coated arm.
Alex- Great, just great. Now my arm smells like the dead carcuss of a rotted cow! Everything smells like death! Those catacombs we raided smelt of death! That bar we met at smelt of death! My arm smells like death! EVEN THAT WOMAN I HAD LAST NIGHT ON THE WAY HERE SMELT LIKE DEATH!
Several miles away, Taliesin was looking through a small mirror, showing our Heroes' current placing and conversation. Taliesin snickered a bit at the paladin's comment.
Taliesin- If only you knew about the young woman....if only you knew....
With a chuckle Taliesin continued walking.
Meanwhile....Alex and the others had continued their walking. Erg mumbled to himself, then looked up.
Erg- Erg's stomach rumbles. Erg hungry!
Alex and Joe stopped to look at the barbarian. Just as they did so, a group of people jumped from the tall grass surrounding them.
Bandit- HAHA! YES! WE HAVE FOUND OURSELVES SOME FRESH MEAT! PREPARE TO TASTE THE WRATH OF MY IMPRESSIVELY WEAK STAFF!
Alex cocked a brow as the bandit swung his staff...which oddly resembled a rotting tree branch, at the paladin, the wood breaking in half on the Holy Knight's armor. The bandit blinked several times, looking at his broken branch.
Bandit- YES! WELL! I SHALL RETURN! YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF US! FOR WE ARE THE BANDITS OF THE DARK AND SCARY FOREST....er um....THE DARK AND SCARY WELL BEATEN PATH! WE SHALL BE BACK FOR YOU!
The bandits each threw down a smoke bomb, and as the smoke cleared, one bandit was left standing. The bandit grinned sheepishly, then quickly turned and ran off. Alex and the others were left blinking in confusion.
Erg- Erg think weak bandit had too much of Joe's herb.
Alex- Right.....
With the odd, and very disturbing encounter now over, Alex began to lead the company further away from the path. After thirty minutes of walking, they came upon the entrance to a cave.
Alex- Finally! A chance to destroy EVIL!
Erg- Erg don't like spooky looking cave....
Alex sighed, looking to Joe.
Joe- Hey....why don't we just stay out here...?
Alex muttered in frustration.
Alex- How can you call yourselves heroes?! COME ON!
Well, as this chapter comes to a close, with Alex dragging Erg and Joe along into the cave...I leave you with a few words of wisdom. Never touch a dead chick. I mean, if she reeks that much, run. It's just better that way. Have a nice one.
Chapter 2: The Wrath of Aimless Wandering
A day and a half passed and Erg, Joe and Alex stop to rest beside the path they were taking. To their left, a small field of tall crab grass lay quivering within the wisps of wind that caressed the earth.
Erg- Erg no like walking! Erg hate stupid rocks! Pebbles in Erg's shoes hurt like hemoroids!
Joe reaches into his pocket, smiling a bit toward Mary Jane, then looking over at Erg.
Joe- Kill the pain....kill the pain...
In Joe's hand there was a small pipe. Handing it to Erg, the young Druid pulled out what appeared to be a piece of flint, a striking stone, and a small hole above a hard wooden block which held a special oil for making fire.
Joe- This here is a lighter.
Joe's hand moved toward Erg's, placing the Druid contraption in the palm of the Germanic Barbarian. Erg blinked a few times before putting the pipe in his mouth. Erg flicked the striking stone against the flint, causing a small flame to ignite. After a few minutes of inhaling, Erg's formerly disgruntled look was replaced by a spacey expression.
Erg- Erg.....like tastey...smoke....
Alex, meanwhile, was growing quite aggrivated with the two before him.
Alex- Hey! We have no food! No way of getting any! And no money! And all you guys are worried about is learning how to kill the pain of a foot hemoroid?!
Joe slowly turned to Alex.
Joe- You know....you could mellow out...
Alex- And you could stop being such a worthless bum!
Mary Jane growled at the angry paladin. Alex narrowed his eyes at the dire wolf.
Alex- What're you looking at?!
Mary Jane's mouth opened, clamping down onto Alex's arm, shaking him wildly like a chew toy.
Alex- GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AH THE PAIN!
Joe shook his head, laughing.
Joe- Mary Jane's just playing with you....
As the dire wolf continued to shake the helpless paladin around, a traveller could be seen walking just by the tall grass. As he walked, the familiar shadow of the woman from the bar darted out, snatching him into the tall grass. Erg, once again, was the only one who saw the unerrving event.
Erg- Shadow lady snatch man! Erg afraid he's gonna be next! Erg don't like scary assassin!
Joe- What are you talking about Erg? We're out here in the middle of nowhere....there's no one here....
Joe looked at his pipe, muttering beneath his breath.
Joe- This stuff's stronger than I thought....
Mary Jane finally put the paladin down. Alex lay on the ground, breathing heavily.
Alex- Damn that mutt! Gah!
Alex quickly got to his feet, turning his nose up toward his saliva coated arm.
Alex- Great, just great. Now my arm smells like the dead carcuss of a rotted cow! Everything smells like death! Those catacombs we raided smelt of death! That bar we met at smelt of death! My arm smells like death! EVEN THAT WOMAN I HAD LAST NIGHT ON THE WAY HERE SMELT LIKE DEATH!
Several miles away, Taliesin was looking through a small mirror, showing our Heroes' current placing and conversation. Taliesin snickered a bit at the paladin's comment.
Taliesin- If only you knew about the young woman....if only you knew....
With a chuckle Taliesin continued walking.
Meanwhile....Alex and the others had continued their walking. Erg mumbled to himself, then looked up.
Erg- Erg's stomach rumbles. Erg hungry!
Alex and Joe stopped to look at the barbarian. Just as they did so, a group of people jumped from the tall grass surrounding them.
Bandit- HAHA! YES! WE HAVE FOUND OURSELVES SOME FRESH MEAT! PREPARE TO TASTE THE WRATH OF MY IMPRESSIVELY WEAK STAFF!
Alex cocked a brow as the bandit swung his staff...which oddly resembled a rotting tree branch, at the paladin, the wood breaking in half on the Holy Knight's armor. The bandit blinked several times, looking at his broken branch.
Bandit- YES! WELL! I SHALL RETURN! YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF US! FOR WE ARE THE BANDITS OF THE DARK AND SCARY FOREST....er um....THE DARK AND SCARY WELL BEATEN PATH! WE SHALL BE BACK FOR YOU!
The bandits each threw down a smoke bomb, and as the smoke cleared, one bandit was left standing. The bandit grinned sheepishly, then quickly turned and ran off. Alex and the others were left blinking in confusion.
Erg- Erg think weak bandit had too much of Joe's herb.
Alex- Right.....
With the odd, and very disturbing encounter now over, Alex began to lead the company further away from the path. After thirty minutes of walking, they came upon the entrance to a cave.
Alex- Finally! A chance to destroy EVIL!
Erg- Erg don't like spooky looking cave....
Alex sighed, looking to Joe.
Joe- Hey....why don't we just stay out here...?
Alex muttered in frustration.
Alex- How can you call yourselves heroes?! COME ON!
Well, as this chapter comes to a close, with Alex dragging Erg and Joe along into the cave...I leave you with a few words of wisdom. Never touch a dead chick. I mean, if she reeks that much, run. It's just better that way. Have a nice one.