Chapter Three How
screwed up am I?
Harry awoke in Bed, having a really hard time opening his eyes. His eye lids felt so heavy, as if there was paper weights stopping him from opening them. He tried looking around, but all he saw was blurry figures, and three of everything. He tried to sit up but something set its hands on him and gently pushed him back down.
"That wouldn't be a very good idea, Harry." a deep voice said. Harry turned towards the figure frantically trying to make out its identity. It seemed to have a red fire ablaze its head. He knew it was a Weasley.
"It's Ron."
Harry was hardly effected by Ron's presence as he was with Hermione's. His head just hurt a lot more, and he felt like vomiting. What happened to him? Where was he? This room was definitely bigger and more spacious than his own.
"God, what happened?" Harry asked as he felt like his head was about to unscrew itself from his neck from all the spinning it was doing.
"You hit your head mate. Pretty hard at that. That's why your head hurts so bad probably. But when it comes down to your nausea. Well that's from to much blood loss." Ron said his voice faltering a little with the last part.
"Uh.." Harry gaped as he stared at Ron's face, that was beginning to clear out the haze. He was shocked and frozen. He didn't know what to say.. Hey I'm sorry that I cut myself, I'll never do it again? Not really, it couldn't work like that.
"Don't worry 'bout it Harry, You don't have to explain. It's not my place to ask you about that. But I hope you understand how much you may be damaging yourself.." he dragged on as he stared at the deep angry cuts that lined themselves up from Harry's wrist, up to His elbow.
Harry moved his arm uncomfortably and draped it over his stomach. His arms felt like they weighed 12 tons as he pulled them from their original positions.
"So, Hermione's got all of your stuff for school, you don't have to worry about it. Hopefully you'll be out of here in time to get to the Platform." Ron explained as he walked across the room, and grabbed a box from the silver tin tray, and brought it back over to Harry. It was a Chocolate Frog. Harry smiled slightly to himself, until he remembered how terrible he treated Hermione, earlier. He sighed and threw the chocolate frog onto his lap.
"What is it? You don't like Chocolate now? The healer said it would make you feel better.." Ron asked a little confused, as he sat down in the big comfy chair aside Harry's bed.
"Healers? Where am I?" a Just as confused Harry questioned as he looked around a little closer at everything. There were no IV's, or beeping heart monitors. But there was three goblins in the corner with terrible rashes of cat hair all over their bodies. And A woman in the corner with her hair literally sticking on end, frozen in place.
"Your at St. Mungos.. Don't you recognize the place?" Ron said with a playful look on his face taking a look around, hasn't changed for centuries.
Harry shook his head, sighing deeply as he began to think about Hermione. And how terrible he treated her. He had become so enraged with her, just as he had been when she tried to coax him into thinking maybe going to the department of mysteries was a trick, a trap. And because of his own big fat head, he didn't listen and only screamed at her and made her cry. When she was right all along.
"What is it Harry?" Ron was sitting in the chair watching Harry as a dozen different trapped emotions etched over his pain filled face. The cut on his head, only a few inches above his eyebrow, seemed angry. Like it would hiss and come out at you with craws and dagger like teeth to tear you apart.
"Oh, nothing." Harry shrugged it off, even though it was definitely not nothing. He knew that Hermione wouldn't appreciate Harry telling Ron about a secret probably no one knew except for authorities.
"You sure?" Ron asked concerned. Harry nodded, and tried to sit up again, his stomach hissing and boiling inside him. He leaned over out of a his quick reaction towards Ron and vomited.
"Harry!! Those are my new shoes!! YUK!!! This is disgusting!!!" Ron cried, loud enough for the whole entire hospital to hear.
at the platform, Harry dragged his trunk full of supplies, clothes, and books. Hermione had left all of his materials with the Weasley's before she left the hospital. Supposedly Hermione had forgotten her cell phone in Harry's room, and came back a few minutes later to retrieve it and found Harry lying on the floor where his Aunt and Uncle hovered over him on their hands and knees. She had authorized them as they called the Weasley's, and the Weasley's got Harry to St. Mungos.
Hermione knew about Harry's blood loss though, she was actually the first to know. She had informed the Weasley's about it before they took off without her. Harry didn't know what to tell Hermione when he saw her. If she would talk to him at all that is, for what he did to her, he wouldn't expect her to ever speak to him.
After crossing the wall barrier Harry and Ron got all their luggage together and piled it up in the luggage compartment and went to find their own. Hermione's parents were just leaving the site of the barrier when Harry and Ron were going towards it. So Hermione had to be somewhere. They searched all the compartments for her until they came to the last one, where they found nothing but a simply empty compartment. After their failed attempt to find her they took their seats in the compartment and stared out the window.
"Oh yeah! She's a Prefect remember? I forgot of course she isn't in any of the compartments!" Ron realized as he slammed his hand down on the red seat beside him.
"Aren't you a Prefect Ron?" Harry questioned.
"Ah, no. I told Dumbledore that I wasn't really cut out for it. So I had someone else replace me. Do you know who he is? Neville!" Ron explained.
Harry doubled over in laughs thinking about Neville escorting the first years to their dormitories and, forgetting the password.
Ron laughed as well until the door to their compartment flew open and there stood Ginny and Luna. Luna looked as bizarre as she did last year if not more. They both smiled at Harry and Ron and took their places in the compartment. Luna pulled out the Quibbler and surprisingly for the first time read it right side up.
"So what did you do this summer Luna? I hardly received many owl from you." Ginny asked Luna trying to start up conversation to cut the awkward silence.
"Oh that's because I was in America for most of the time. Visiting some relatives there. It was crazy there you know that? There were boys walking around with their pants all the way down to their knees their. Walking like crazy penguins. And the girls dressed in skirts that came all the way up to their butt cheeks. It was crazy really." she said in Disgust hardly looking away from the Quibbler.
Harry and Ron looked at each other and shrugged as they thought out how nice it probably was to the sounds of it. Girls were very flashy in America, that was a fact. Harry nor Ron would complain.
Even though a conversation was going on Harry stayed out of it and only stared out the window staring off at the beautiful crimson sunset that spread its wonderful rays of lights over the green and golden earth. Of in the distance he could see a farmer pushing his herd back into the barn. The horses galloped through the open plains, with their silver reflecting manes flowing gracefully behind them, falling into their beady eyes with every stop or sharp turn they made.
The birds in the sky flew with their feathers rippling in the wind, making their own shadows across the gray sky. Rain was soon to come. The clouds were hovering low near Hogwarts. It made a storm mass that Harry had never seen before. It was unusual and unexplainably amazing. The clouds seem to erupt a liquid like lava of fluffy pink clouds. A dark black barrier with silver lining.
Harry smiled, remembering the beauty of this place. The incredible feeling a welcome he felt when near it. He looked down at his arms, and thought about doing it again. There would be enough privacy in the bathroom. He didn't deserve to be back here. Since the year he attended he only endangered the lives of all of his fellow classmate, friend, and even enemies. He didn't deserve a moment of hearing Ginny or Ron talking to one another or see the scenery of the magical land before him.
He stood slowly to not cause attention and pulled a small case from up above him and exited slowly making sure they were still talking after he closed the door behind him.
Making his way to the bathroom he passed many Prefects and nodded his head at them as they greeted him, welcoming him back. They all knew what happened last year. And he just couldn't take the fact that they were grieving for him possibly, feeling sympathetic.
After shutting the door behind him and locking it securely he placed the case on the sink as he sat on the toilet after placing the lid down. He sighed and closed his eyes as he slid the zipper down opening the small leather travel kit. And inside lay his tooth brush, some toothpaste, shaving cream, first aid wrap and, his razor. He carefully pulled the razor out and set it on his black jeans. He pulled his robes of and rolled his sleeve up. Slowly he grabbed the razor and brought it to his slowly healing wounds, and cut across them opening the healing cuts and creating new one in between them.
His eyes widened with shock and his lips tightened as the pain seared. Gritting his teeth he quietly hissed and sighed, out of relief. He grabbed the first aid wrap and pulled it out wrapping it tightly around his arm, so much that it was sure there would be no leaking. He slowly pulled his sleeve back down and shrugged his robe on, put his things back in the case, and looked in the mirror at his now very pale face. He was perspiring slightly by his hair line. He sucked in a breath and splashed some water on his face, feeling so weak. Just the way he wanted.
Harry awoke in Bed, having a really hard time opening his eyes. His eye lids felt so heavy, as if there was paper weights stopping him from opening them. He tried looking around, but all he saw was blurry figures, and three of everything. He tried to sit up but something set its hands on him and gently pushed him back down.
"That wouldn't be a very good idea, Harry." a deep voice said. Harry turned towards the figure frantically trying to make out its identity. It seemed to have a red fire ablaze its head. He knew it was a Weasley.
"It's Ron."
Harry was hardly effected by Ron's presence as he was with Hermione's. His head just hurt a lot more, and he felt like vomiting. What happened to him? Where was he? This room was definitely bigger and more spacious than his own.
"God, what happened?" Harry asked as he felt like his head was about to unscrew itself from his neck from all the spinning it was doing.
"You hit your head mate. Pretty hard at that. That's why your head hurts so bad probably. But when it comes down to your nausea. Well that's from to much blood loss." Ron said his voice faltering a little with the last part.
"Uh.." Harry gaped as he stared at Ron's face, that was beginning to clear out the haze. He was shocked and frozen. He didn't know what to say.. Hey I'm sorry that I cut myself, I'll never do it again? Not really, it couldn't work like that.
"Don't worry 'bout it Harry, You don't have to explain. It's not my place to ask you about that. But I hope you understand how much you may be damaging yourself.." he dragged on as he stared at the deep angry cuts that lined themselves up from Harry's wrist, up to His elbow.
Harry moved his arm uncomfortably and draped it over his stomach. His arms felt like they weighed 12 tons as he pulled them from their original positions.
"So, Hermione's got all of your stuff for school, you don't have to worry about it. Hopefully you'll be out of here in time to get to the Platform." Ron explained as he walked across the room, and grabbed a box from the silver tin tray, and brought it back over to Harry. It was a Chocolate Frog. Harry smiled slightly to himself, until he remembered how terrible he treated Hermione, earlier. He sighed and threw the chocolate frog onto his lap.
"What is it? You don't like Chocolate now? The healer said it would make you feel better.." Ron asked a little confused, as he sat down in the big comfy chair aside Harry's bed.
"Healers? Where am I?" a Just as confused Harry questioned as he looked around a little closer at everything. There were no IV's, or beeping heart monitors. But there was three goblins in the corner with terrible rashes of cat hair all over their bodies. And A woman in the corner with her hair literally sticking on end, frozen in place.
"Your at St. Mungos.. Don't you recognize the place?" Ron said with a playful look on his face taking a look around, hasn't changed for centuries.
Harry shook his head, sighing deeply as he began to think about Hermione. And how terrible he treated her. He had become so enraged with her, just as he had been when she tried to coax him into thinking maybe going to the department of mysteries was a trick, a trap. And because of his own big fat head, he didn't listen and only screamed at her and made her cry. When she was right all along.
"What is it Harry?" Ron was sitting in the chair watching Harry as a dozen different trapped emotions etched over his pain filled face. The cut on his head, only a few inches above his eyebrow, seemed angry. Like it would hiss and come out at you with craws and dagger like teeth to tear you apart.
"Oh, nothing." Harry shrugged it off, even though it was definitely not nothing. He knew that Hermione wouldn't appreciate Harry telling Ron about a secret probably no one knew except for authorities.
"You sure?" Ron asked concerned. Harry nodded, and tried to sit up again, his stomach hissing and boiling inside him. He leaned over out of a his quick reaction towards Ron and vomited.
"Harry!! Those are my new shoes!! YUK!!! This is disgusting!!!" Ron cried, loud enough for the whole entire hospital to hear.
at the platform, Harry dragged his trunk full of supplies, clothes, and books. Hermione had left all of his materials with the Weasley's before she left the hospital. Supposedly Hermione had forgotten her cell phone in Harry's room, and came back a few minutes later to retrieve it and found Harry lying on the floor where his Aunt and Uncle hovered over him on their hands and knees. She had authorized them as they called the Weasley's, and the Weasley's got Harry to St. Mungos.
Hermione knew about Harry's blood loss though, she was actually the first to know. She had informed the Weasley's about it before they took off without her. Harry didn't know what to tell Hermione when he saw her. If she would talk to him at all that is, for what he did to her, he wouldn't expect her to ever speak to him.
After crossing the wall barrier Harry and Ron got all their luggage together and piled it up in the luggage compartment and went to find their own. Hermione's parents were just leaving the site of the barrier when Harry and Ron were going towards it. So Hermione had to be somewhere. They searched all the compartments for her until they came to the last one, where they found nothing but a simply empty compartment. After their failed attempt to find her they took their seats in the compartment and stared out the window.
"Oh yeah! She's a Prefect remember? I forgot of course she isn't in any of the compartments!" Ron realized as he slammed his hand down on the red seat beside him.
"Aren't you a Prefect Ron?" Harry questioned.
"Ah, no. I told Dumbledore that I wasn't really cut out for it. So I had someone else replace me. Do you know who he is? Neville!" Ron explained.
Harry doubled over in laughs thinking about Neville escorting the first years to their dormitories and, forgetting the password.
Ron laughed as well until the door to their compartment flew open and there stood Ginny and Luna. Luna looked as bizarre as she did last year if not more. They both smiled at Harry and Ron and took their places in the compartment. Luna pulled out the Quibbler and surprisingly for the first time read it right side up.
"So what did you do this summer Luna? I hardly received many owl from you." Ginny asked Luna trying to start up conversation to cut the awkward silence.
"Oh that's because I was in America for most of the time. Visiting some relatives there. It was crazy there you know that? There were boys walking around with their pants all the way down to their knees their. Walking like crazy penguins. And the girls dressed in skirts that came all the way up to their butt cheeks. It was crazy really." she said in Disgust hardly looking away from the Quibbler.
Harry and Ron looked at each other and shrugged as they thought out how nice it probably was to the sounds of it. Girls were very flashy in America, that was a fact. Harry nor Ron would complain.
Even though a conversation was going on Harry stayed out of it and only stared out the window staring off at the beautiful crimson sunset that spread its wonderful rays of lights over the green and golden earth. Of in the distance he could see a farmer pushing his herd back into the barn. The horses galloped through the open plains, with their silver reflecting manes flowing gracefully behind them, falling into their beady eyes with every stop or sharp turn they made.
The birds in the sky flew with their feathers rippling in the wind, making their own shadows across the gray sky. Rain was soon to come. The clouds were hovering low near Hogwarts. It made a storm mass that Harry had never seen before. It was unusual and unexplainably amazing. The clouds seem to erupt a liquid like lava of fluffy pink clouds. A dark black barrier with silver lining.
Harry smiled, remembering the beauty of this place. The incredible feeling a welcome he felt when near it. He looked down at his arms, and thought about doing it again. There would be enough privacy in the bathroom. He didn't deserve to be back here. Since the year he attended he only endangered the lives of all of his fellow classmate, friend, and even enemies. He didn't deserve a moment of hearing Ginny or Ron talking to one another or see the scenery of the magical land before him.
He stood slowly to not cause attention and pulled a small case from up above him and exited slowly making sure they were still talking after he closed the door behind him.
Making his way to the bathroom he passed many Prefects and nodded his head at them as they greeted him, welcoming him back. They all knew what happened last year. And he just couldn't take the fact that they were grieving for him possibly, feeling sympathetic.
After shutting the door behind him and locking it securely he placed the case on the sink as he sat on the toilet after placing the lid down. He sighed and closed his eyes as he slid the zipper down opening the small leather travel kit. And inside lay his tooth brush, some toothpaste, shaving cream, first aid wrap and, his razor. He carefully pulled the razor out and set it on his black jeans. He pulled his robes of and rolled his sleeve up. Slowly he grabbed the razor and brought it to his slowly healing wounds, and cut across them opening the healing cuts and creating new one in between them.
His eyes widened with shock and his lips tightened as the pain seared. Gritting his teeth he quietly hissed and sighed, out of relief. He grabbed the first aid wrap and pulled it out wrapping it tightly around his arm, so much that it was sure there would be no leaking. He slowly pulled his sleeve back down and shrugged his robe on, put his things back in the case, and looked in the mirror at his now very pale face. He was perspiring slightly by his hair line. He sucked in a breath and splashed some water on his face, feeling so weak. Just the way he wanted.