Well, Chapter Twelve flowed out really smoothly, so you guys didn't have to wait for this chapter so long! Err, that just won't be happening for the next chapter. It'll more than likely be more than a week before I post more, but we'll see.
Angst warning! Yeah, this chapter goes slightly to the angst side, but I don't think it's all that bad.
I looked forward to what I've written so far, and the next couple of chapters are nothing but talkies. No action whatsoever. Sorry… I guess we've got to get through the talking to get to some of the action. Although, come to think of it, there's not really going to be that much action. ::shrug:: I suck at writing it! :)
slvrstarlight: Thank you! You should try it. I've read some of your stories before and you're a great author! ;)
shadinah: Thanks!
AprilSailormoon: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it! :)
Henio: Here ya go! A whole two days to update! :) Err… this probably won't happen much…
KhmerGirl: Yeah, sorry I kept you waiting so long on the last one. But I think I made up for it with how quickly this one came out!
Simply a Lady: Curse you! (err, no, not really, I'm just kidding!) What I mean is, is that I started reading "A love that can transcend Time" and got sidetracked into not typing this up! It's really good, and I can't wait for more!
EmeraldLady: ::sniff sniff:: All right… I'll be a good author and post this chapter for ya! ;)
Jabba1: Thanx Abby! Glad ya liked it! Hope you like this one too. :)
All right, onto the story!
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Serena slowly opened her mind's eye. The sight that greeted her was familiar, yet eerily misty. Kagome was sitting on the edge of the Bone Eater's Well with her feet also on the edge, hugging her knees. Although the scenery was much like it was in reality there was one major difference. At the corner of the well, in fact, Kagome was leaning against it, was the God Tree. The same tree where Inuyasha had been pinned for fifty years.
Kagome had not noticed her yet. She was just leaning against the tree with tears pouring out of her closed eyes.
"Kagome." Serena called out softly, not wanting to startle her. Kagome looked up and seemed surprised to see her.
"Serena? What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see what's wrong. Why are you doing this to yourself?" She moved closer until she too was sitting on the edge of the well.
"What do you mean?" Kagome seemed to be genuinely clueless about Serena's question.
Serena sighed. She had not wanted to be so direct, but she had no choice.
"What aren't you accepting your soul?"
Kagome seemed to be staring at something behind Serena, so she turned around to look. Barely able to be seen in the mist stood Kikyo. She was motionless and there was no life to her eyes. Serena realized with a start that this was the rest of Kagome's soul.
"I don't want it," Kagome said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Why not?"
"I don't want another part of her." Kagome's voice got louder. "Everything I have is hers, I don't want anymore."
"What do you mean?! The soul was yours to begin with!"
"No it wasn't! I am nothing but her reincarnation! For all I know, even the love I feel for Inuyasha wasn't my choice," the tears restarted at this admission. "Do you know how much that hurts? To not know if I truly love Inuyasha or not? I have given up everything for him… what if it's only because Kikyo loved him?"
"Do you really believe that you only love Inuyasha because Kikyo did? Tell me, what do you think a soul is all about?"
Kagome looked up at Serena, but did not say anything.
"A soul transfers abilities from life to life, and that includes some physical characteristics as well. The reason why you have the priestess powers you have are because of Kikyo, yes, but that's it. Your heart and your mind are you own. Your heart chose to love Inuyasha with its own free will. Your mind choose to trust Inuyasha on its own."
"I guess, but…"
"Kagome! Can you honestly tell me that deep down your love for Inuyasha is false?"
"No," she replied without hesitation. "No, my love is real," she said with assurance. "I guess I already knew that. All the same though, how do I know that it is my love and not Kikyo's. It can be Kikyo's love and yet still be real."
Serena thought that one through. Although it did not make much sense to her, she supposed it made perfect sense in the dark recesses of Kagome's mind.
"Answer these questions for me. Do you love Inuyasha when he's human?"
"Yes."
"Do you love Inuyasha as a half demon?"
"Of course."
"Do you love Inuyasha as a full demon?"
"Yes."
Serena noted that Kagome did not hesitate to say that she loved Inuyasha as a full demon. She had told her about how Inuyasha tended to become completely centered on killing whenever his demon blood takes control. To be able to love Inuyasha as a full demon was saying a lot.
"Have you ever considered spending the rest of your life with him?"
Kagome nodded and blushed.
"Would you stay with him as he is, a half demon?"
Kagome nodded vigorously.
"Would you make him become full human?"
"No! I've told you that! Being human makes him unhappy, and all I want is for him to be happy."
"So if him being happy means Inuyasha as a full demon, would you still want to be with him?"
"Yes. Inuyasha is Inuyasha, no matter what form he is in. I have faith that he wouldn't turn into the killing machine that he fears he would. I believe that the Shikon jewel would not allow it."
"I hope you're right. But now think for a moment. If Kikyo had never died in the first place, what would have happened?"
Kagome already knew the answer to that.
"She would have had Inuyasha use the jewel to become human, so that the jewel would disappear and she could be normal."
"And if he had refused to become human?"
"I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have stayed with him."
"And if he had become a full demon?"
Kagome had to consider that for a moment, and she frowned when she answered. "I think she would have killed him."
"You see! That's how you know that your love for Inuyasha is both real and your own. You have no rules that have to be met in order for you to want to be with him. Can you see that?"
"Yeah, I do." Kagome said with a hesitant nod.
"Good. So, will you take back your soul now?"
"No."
Serena looked at her in shock. "Why not?!"
"He'll hate me."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because I'll be alive and Kikyo won't. Not like she was alive anyways, but she was there. Kikyo was there for him to see, to hug… to kiss. He doesn't want that with me, because he loves her. Inuyasha loves Kikyo." Kagome hugged her knees even tighter, and started to shiver.
Serena sighed. "I can't say how Inuyasha feels, because I don't know. I do know though that he is really worried about you. He didn't snap out of his depression this morning until he discovered that you were in trouble. What do you think will happen if you don't accept your soul and just fade away? Do you think he'd be happy about that? No, he'd be even worse than last night. He would miss you, Kagome."
Kagome snorted as well as she could around her tears. "Sure, he'd miss his shard detector."
"You're right, he'd miss his shard detector. But he'd also miss his friend. Do you really think he'd risk his life to protect you just because you can see some jewel? That's not a reason! Do you remember when I was upset about my fight with Darien?" Kagome nodded. "Well, one of the things I was upset about was my friends getting hurt because of me, but Darien explained it to me. He said they protect me because they believe in me, and because they are my friends. I'm sure the same goes for Inuyasha. He protects you because he believes in you and you are his friend."
"Do, do you really think that he considers me as a friend?"
"I'm sure he does. I haven't known him for long, but I know friendship when I see it."
Kagome seemed to be considering something quite hard.
"So, you think he won't hate me because I'm alive and Kikyo isn't?"
"No, Kagome, he won't hate you. If he hates anyone, it should be me. I'm the one that did it."
"Yeah, but I didn't try to stop you."
"Believe me, Kagome, you couldn't have stopped me. I - wasn't technically myself at that moment, and all I wanted was revenge for Darien's death. Nothing could have stopped me at that moment. Nothing."
"So, Inuyasha doesn't hate me?" Kagome asked, needed to be reassured once more.
"No, he doesn't hate you."
"Then - then I think I'm ready to accept my soul."
Serena gave a sigh of relief. Not only was Kagome going to be okay, but she had called it her soul.
"But how do I take it back?"
The question caught Serena off guard. "I - I'm not sure." She turned around to look at Kikyo, and almost screamed out of fright when she saw Kikyo standing almost next to her. "Don't do that!" She held a hand over her rapidly beating heart, but then took a good look at Kikyo. No longer did she have the eyes and face of a lifeless woman with a cold heart. Her face was now soft and kind and a small smile graced her lips. Her eyes sparkled with life and joy. Serena then knew how to get Kagome back.
"Embrace Kikyo."
"What?!" Kagome asked, shocked and a little appalled.
Serena pointed to Kikyo. "This is a representation of the part of your soul that Kikyo had. Look at her. She doesn't look like Kikyo did, she looks more like you."
Kagome looked at Kikyo with scrutiny. Her eyes filled with understanding. "So that means…"
Serena nodded. "Yeah. Your soul is pure again. It is no longer tainted with hatred."
Kagome looked relieved. "So I can take it back, and I won't be tainted with any residual hatred?"
Serena nodded. "You can take it back without fear now. Are you ready to?"
Kagome nodded without hesitation.
"Good, I'll see you soon then."
The girls smiled at each other before Serena closed her mind's eye.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
When Serena opened her eyes she was struck by the painful light of the morning sun. She blinked rapidly for a few moments until she could see again. But then the massive headache hit her and she massaged her forehead with a groan. She then took a moment to return the crystal to her brooch.
"What happened?" a soft voice asked in her ear as a warm arm encircled her waist. She leaned back gratefully into Darien's chest. She directed her answer to Inuyasha though.
"She got stuck in the darkest corner of her mind. Her thoughts wouldn't let her accept her soul. I just had to help her sort some things out."
Inuyasha nodded to show he heard, but he never lifted his gaze from Kagome's face. Serena looked at Kagome and was glad to see she was looking better.
"It may take her a few minutes to come to. Who knows how long it will take for her soul to rejoin itself," Serena said with a shrug. Then she turned her head to look at Darien. "Can we talk?" He nodded and helped her up. She lead him away from camp.
"What's up?" Darien asked.
Serena bit her lip, gathering her thoughts before speaking. "Something Kagome said got me thinking." Serena sighed and looked Darien in the eye. "I just want you to know that just because we have Serenity's and Endymion's souls and memories, I don't expect you to still feel the same way."
Worry filled Darien, along with fear. "Are you saying that you don't feel the same way?"
"NO!" Serena shouted. "No, I still feel the same way. I did even before last night," she admitted with a blush. "I'm just saying I don't expect anything from you."
Darien took Serena into his arms. "What I feel for you hasn't changed over the centuries. What I felt for Serenity - for you - a millennia ago is the same as a felt for you a week ago. I love you Serena, and nothing is going to stop me."
Serena smiled up at him, now blushing a deep pink. "I love you too."
Darien bent down to kiss her, but was stopped by a yawn.
"Sorry," Serena said with an embarrassed giggle, "but that took a lot out of me."
Darien picked her up in his arms and she let out a surprised squeal. "Well, then we'll just have to finish that later. For now, you need to get some sleep."
Serena was not about to argue. In fact, she was asleep by the time they got back to camp. So once again Darien set her down and laid down next to her. This time though he spooned her body into his and held her around her waist. He did not sleep. Instead he rested his head on his hand and watched to make sure that Kagome was truly okay.
Sango and Miroku smiled at the couple when they came back. They had sat nervously watching Kagome, hoping she would not leave them. Now that she would be all right, they could appreciate the worry Inuyasha was exuding. They had never seen him quite so worried about Kagome before. There had even been some moments where it looked like he was blinking back tears, but they could not be sure.
Shippou sat in Sango's lap where he was, in his mind, being held captive. He wanted nothing more than to be with Kagome, where he would be better able to make sure that she was alive. He knew that Inuyasha would not tolerate his presence until Kagome was safely asleep. So he sat, bidding his time…
Inuyasha looked down at Kagome, his eyes taking in the red flush of her cheeks, so different from the paleness of minutes before. His ears took in her steady heartbeat that had been failing moments ago. He concentrated on her breathing. There had been a moment while Serena was trying to help her when her breathing had stopped. At that moment his own heart had quit beating, and panic had swelled at the thought of her dying. But his fears were relieved a moment later when she started breathing again, even easier than she had before. Now, it was just a matter of time before she regained consciousness. In fact, her eyes were beginning to flicker, trying to open.
"Kagome." Inuyasha said softly.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, as if from far away. Once her eyes opened though, a small smile graced her lips. But then she frowned. "What happened?"
"You don't remember?" She shook her head. "You weren't taking back your soul."
Kagome's eyes filled with tears as she remembered, one hand absently rubbed the phantom burn on her chest.
"What's wrong?" Inuyasha asked, not even capable of hiding the concern in his voice.
Kagome snapped back to reality, but the tears would not quit. "N-nothing. I'm okay now."
"You don't look okay." He winced at that remark and got ready for the scream that was sure to come. It never did.
"S-sorry, but I just don't want to talk about it right now."
"All right, I'm here when you're ready to talk." He ignored the shocked look on her face and turned to Sango and Miroku. "Grab a blanket, Sango," he ordered. Sango did as he impolitely asked and handed him a blanket. Inuyasha took the blanket and tucked it around Kagome. She looked up at him uncertainly. "Get some sleep."
"Shouldn't we get going?" she asked, but made no attempt to move.
Inuyasha shook his head. "You need some rest. Besides, Serena's out and it doesn't look like she'll be getting up any time soon."
Kagome looked over to see Serena and Darien spooned into each other. Serena was sound asleep, while Darien was pretending to look at anything but them.
"Hmm, it's nice to see them together," Kagome said, turning back to look at Inuyasha.
"Keh. Go to sleep, wench."
Kagome held back a giggle. 'Wench' just did not sound right in his current soft tone of voice. She closed her eyes and snuggled into Inuyasha. She enjoyed the feeling of his arms tightening around her. It may have been the second time she had fallen asleep in Inuyasha's arms in almost as many days, but she was not going to take it for granted. She knew he would return to normal the next day, so she was going to soak in as much of his warmth as she could. She fell asleep in his warm arms, at last content.