"Always…"
VIII: Allen and the Mysterious Disappearance(s) of Hitomi
"There's two of those guymelefs now! A gold one to match the silver. There's a big, white lump on the courtyard near them. Wait, I think that it's the dragon guymelef that flew over Palas the other week! It's not doing anything at all. I wonder if that was the loud crashing sound we heard earlier? The silver one has that girl in those… metallic, sort of… rope… things. Oh! The king of Fanelia is going after her! He's got his sword! He's lunging! He's almost got her! He's…! Oh. I hope he's all right."
It's not the most well told narrative ever, but we all listen fixedly to the handmaiden's description of the events unfolding outside. Since it was decided that a princess should not stand on other people's shoulders to get a peek through the small, courtyard-faced window above us, I don't have a choice -- even though it was my idea in the first place. Meiden and both the handmaidens protested that it was too dangerous for me but they didn't have a problem doing it themselves. Until they got into it, that is. Watching Meiden and the blonde handmaiden struggle to keep our narrator aloft while maintaining their own footing, I can't say I resent not being able to see things for myself. Neither Meiden nor his fellow human ladder is particularly tall, but they're standing on a decent sized pile of debris. A fall onto the stone stairway would not feel pleasant.
Brave, oblivious or very dutiful, the handmaiden keeps talking despite her precarious position. "What? The sun's coming out! Those guymelefs… They looked like they were ready to attack again, but now they're… well… now they're just standing there. Oh! The one dropped the Mystic Moon girl! Fanelia is going after her, but I don't know if he'll be able to reach her… One of our Caeli got her! Allen Schezar…"
Of course he would be there in the thick of it. Death before seeing a woman looked at funny and all that. Two fully armed enemy guymelefs that just leveled a part of the city wouldn't be a strong enough deterrent to keep him from trying to save an unknown damsel in distress, let alone a girl he is close to. He'd better watch himself. I didn't like hearing Millerna tell me about his injury long after the fact. If that handmaiden starts describing the same thing while I'm stuck in here, helpless to do anything but listen…
Other Caeli should be safe. As captain of the guard, Revius would have taken charge of either the evacuation or the coordination of defense. In both cases, he should enjoy the shelter a commander enjoys of seldom being on the front line. Alucier is probably calculating the best way to get to me. He knows he's no good to me dead, so he won't make any rash moves that would get him here more quickly but also might get him killed. At heart, he can have the same chivalrous notions Allen does. Alucier's notions, however, have a heftier dose of self-preservation mixed into them.
Thank the gods Damise had to go back to Dunhaven last week instead of attending the wedding like she wanted. Worrying about her as well might have been one distraction too many. I've already plotted out several courses Dryden could have taken when he carried Millerna off. Too many of them lead to collapsed areas of the church.
"The Zaibach guymelefs still aren't doing anything. They look like they're… shaking? Something really odd is going on."
Odd, but fortuitous for us. The guymelefs are soon flying away in retreat -- without another attempt at Hitomi Kanzaki, the handmaiden makes sure to point out. She doesn't understand and neither do I. To come here as they did, when they did, to lay waste to this holy place, to kill who knows how many people and to leave with nothing… What was the point of it?
They could have come here as they did before in the guise of our allies and demanded that Hitomi be turned over on some pretense. Under the terms of our treaty, we would have been forced to listen to them and, probably, concede. Were they afraid that the council would balk at the ethics that would have us trading a human life? That someone like Fanel, their former target, would smuggle Hitomi out of the country in the interim? Or did they just not want to wait? They know they have power. Why would they mess with a foreign country's paperwork when they can come in and take what they want?
Zaibach's ethics on human life are clear. It was expedient for them to attack us, so to hell with our treaty. We can't pretend that it didn't happen or can't happen again. The belief that turning a blind eye to Zaibach's activities would, in turn, blind them to us was brutally proved false. Fanel and Allen's early warnings about Zaibach came true. Placating them with Freid wasn't enough to spare us.
And although it provides a bit of grim satisfaction, the fact that they left without Hitomi just means that they will be back to get her. How will we be waiting for them when they come? We have but two choices -- resistance or fearful capitulation -- but they both will boil down to one truth: we cannot hide from the future Zaibach has planned.
***
It's not long after the Zaibach guymelefs have fled that we hear the shouts of a rescue party. They can't move all the stones but they clear enough from the top away to fit a person through. We agree that Father needs to go first. He hasn't said anything since Zaibach first attacked. Though that isn't a great departure from his normal condition, it isn't a good sign either. We can't quite lift him out ourselves so a volunteer comes from the other side to assist. I'm not surprised that it's Alucier.
His overskirt is adapted into a kind of sling to help ferry Father over the rocks. It takes a good amount of coordination and strength, but Father's through and being swarmed by doctors in a matter of minutes. Meiden gets through on his own; the handmaidens wait for me. I order them to go first. They deserve it and besides, I'd like to have a word with my guard before well-meaning caretakers, who won't let me know the real extent of the damage, can surround me.
The Caeli uniform is basically blue coveralls over a white silk shirt. With the overskirt, it has elegant lines that flow from the wearer's hip and move around with him in a show of grace. Without the overskirt, the Caeli… honestly, he looks a little like a boy in a jumpsuit playing at being a swordsman. Alucier himself was the one that came up with the description though I'm usually the one using it against him. Would that I could indulge in just a fraction of that silliness, if only for a moment, to push away the past hour.
But there's a body lying a few steps away from me -- the body of the woman who did not think twice about scouting ahead to help protect her king and princess -- and I won't do her the disrespect.
From Alucier's serious calm, I can tell she's not the only dead among us. I'm afraid to ask him who some of the others might be, but delaying the truth never changes what it is.
"Is Millerna…?"
"She's fine," he's quick to say. "Not a scratch on her."
"And Dryden?"
"He will be fine. Come on, let's get out of here."
"But what about -- ?"
"Most of the causalities were in the crowd."
That's not quite the reassurance I want. As I start my ascent of the debris, I list names. He answers them all with a terse 'fine'. At the top, I get a hint of what might be bothering him as he lingers for a last look at the dead handmaiden. That the only difference between her and me was a matter of a minute's worth of walking was my first, humbling thought when I saw her. The man assigned for the past six years to protect me from any and all harm must have thought the same thing.
"I'm fine, too," I say.
"I know," he says as he comes up behind me. He holds his hand just above my head so I won't hit it against the ceiling.
***
Millerna is fine and without scratches as promised. Her dress is torn and damp with blood, but she did most of the tearing and the blood isn't hers. It belongs to her husband.
Over protest, Dryden sent the doctor that came to look at him to another part of the church to help with the wounded. There are people in much worse shape than he is, he insists. He doesn't, however, tell Millerna to stop fussing over him. She's got him bandaged up well, with what appears to be the sleeves of her wedding dress. It's not enough to soothe her. The cut on his forehead still bothers her. She's also worried that the rock that hit him might have caused internal bleeding. The only way to be sure, she concludes, is to bring the doctor back. Everyone agrees with her except the injured party. I don't know if Dryden's being obstinate because he really believes he doesn't need medical attention or if it's because he's enjoying the other kind of attention he's getting now. I've never seen Millerna be so tender with him.
Tenderness only goes so far. Stubbornness and reluctance collide and the two have the first fight of their marriage. Millerna wins after a fierce round 'I do not!' and 'You do too!' ends with Dryden trying to laugh at the inherent inanity of the fight and coughing painfully instead. As a consolation, she stays with him while Meiden goes to fetch the doctor.
"I should have hobbled over there with him," Dryden complains weakly when Millerna starts to tell Alucier and me how Dryden received his injuries. She shushes him. There won't be any self-deprecating interruptions to her story about the brave man who saved her life by using his body to shield hers. The action parts of the story aren't long; the reaction parts don't seem to have an end.
After she calls him brave for the second time, Dryden starts to pull himself up off the ground. "I am going to hobble over there," he announces.
"Don't be foolish!" she says, but she does help him. It takes Alucier's assistance to get him upright, though Millerna's the one Dryden leans on. The three shamble towards the doctor, Dryden continuing to insist that neither his heroics nor his injuries are anything to be concerned about. I don't believe him for a second. From the way he holds onto Millerna, it's obvious he can't stand without her. The way Millerna holds onto to him conveys something subtler.
"Dryden is all right, isn't he?"
It's Hitomi. She looks shaken and a little scuffed, but otherwise uninjured. Allen hovers behind her protectively. Van Fanel takes a similar stance slightly farther away. Hitomi fiddles with the hem of her skirt rather than looking at any of us.
"He's in good spirits. Though I'm not sure that's positive proof considering whom we're talking about," I say. "By the way, that was very brave of you to confront those two guymelefs on your own."
She looks less pleased with being described as such than Dryden did. Fanel scowls as if to say that she shouldn't have had to do it alone.
"I had to. They were after me," Hitomi explains. Her voice is so low, I'm not sure if the explanation is meant for me. "This was my fault."
"Don't blame yourself for Zaibach's attack, Hitomi," Fanel snarls. "This is what they do. They destroy. They kill. They don't care. If they weren't after you, they would have found some other excuse to do this."
"Van…"
"He's right, Hitomi," Allen says. He tries to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but Hitomi turns away.
"You don't understand, Allen. When I did the tarot card reading for Millerna, I saw… I didn't like what I saw so I tried to change it. But I didn't change anything! I made it worse!"
The men apparently understand what she's saying though they look troubled by it. I'm completely confused. "Wait, tarot cards -- are they those odd cards you had when you ran into me the other day? They somehow let you see that this attack would happen?"
Hitomi seems to be through talking. Fanel and Allen try to fill in for her, piecing together a description of the cards and how Hitomi uses them. They testify to her accuracy with them at first, but when they come to today's events, both of them feel the need to clarify that the cards are subject to interpretation. It all sounds like rubbish to me.
"You're telling me that because a certain card with a certain picture gets dealt in a certain way, certain events will occur? That the future is already set for us and all we have to do is play cards to see what we have to do?"
"It's more complicated than that," Allen says. He doesn't say how it's more complicated and I suspect he doesn't know. I think the only one who truly understands is Hitomi.
"What exactly did you see?" I ask her.
She looks askance at Allen and blushes. Slowly, Hitomi tells us why she feels she's to blame. "Millerna asked me to do a reading on the wedding. I didn't want to at first, but she's my friend and she really did want to know, so I agreed. The cards… they made it clear she was nervous, that she wasn't sure about the wedding. I didn't tell her that, though. I made it sound like the wedding was a great idea and that she'd be really happy."
"Hitomi," I sigh, "if that's all, than you and I are guilty of the same thing. I thought Millerna might have some doubts about marrying Dryden but I pushed them aside because I honestly believe what you said -- that in the end, she will be happy. I just didn't realize she was nervous enough to seek you out to do one of your readings."
"No, it's worse than that. I saw her with… I saw that she wasn't thinking about Dryden. But I… I thought she should be thinking of him and then I saw the vision of the tower falling. It was the same tower that got struck by lightning and collapsed! And I didn't want to see that either so I put another card on top. I thought I could make that card come true instead. I tried to change things. I didn't warn anyone."
"Do you think that would have changed anything anyway?" Fanel asks. "I know your power. I trust it. But do you think anyone here would have listened?"
"No, we wouldn't have." I'm still not convinced about those cards after being given 'proof'. The council would have treated Hitomi was smirking condescension and sent her on her way, assuming that they let her talk at all. What would she have said to them? Millerna's unsure about the wedding? That's not cause for alarm. What woman facing an arranged marriage wouldn't have second thoughts? I thought Millerna had settled her crush on Allen (Hitomi does need to learn to make her references more oblique) but learning that she hasn't isn't terribly shocking news. Hitomi's apparent motivation of wanting Allen for herself for lying is suited for court gossip, not councilmen discussion. As for the attack, a falling tower doesn't lead a lot of people to the natural conclusion that an ally is about to send troops into the city.
"But I…" Hitomi protests. She's determined not to be comforted. Fanel keeps trying regardless. Allen's the one standing by silently, watching Hitomi as if gauging what Millerna's card reading means for the other people involved. I could point out that Millerna's future sounds suspiciously like Marlene's past and the longer that marriage lasted, the better it became. It's best though, not to mention my older sister around a contemplative Allen.
Alucier returns with the suggestion that I go back to the palace. Dryden and Millerna, along with Father, have already gone ahead on doctor's orders. Hitomi wants to stay behind and help with relief efforts. Fanel needs to check on his guymelef, Escaflowne. Allen's offer to stay with Hitomi is turned down by Alucier. After seeing his men caught unprepared and being virtually useless against Zaibach, Lord Ramkin wants to have a word with the Caeli.
There's not a lot they could have done, but that rarely stops people from thinking they should have done something anyhow.
***
The damage assessments start coming in during the late afternoon. All but a few stubborn fires have been put out. Rubble is beginning to be cleared away. Every now and then, a story circulates about a survivor being found. Those stories get passed around, mishearing and hopeful exaggeration adding a bit here and a piece there until an old man who lost a leg to a fire is restored to full health along with his home and three generations of his family. No corrections are made to these tales. The people need to hear them. Proof is secondary to desire when it comes to belief.
Some reports are positive without any embellishment. The main structure of the church is in good shape; the ceiling and the walls have been stable since the attack. As a precaution, they are being shorn up and sections deemed still dangerous are closed off from the public. More than anything else, keeping that church open is a symbol that we did survive. To that end, Dryden's been roused from the sickbed he didn't want to get into to begin with, given a crutch and sent with Millerna and me (and a compliment of three Caeli) to put in a morale-boosting public appearance there.
I like that better than the stories.
The people seem to respond to it, too. Haggard and back in his usual, un-Asturian loose robes, the new prince is nonetheless an attraction. Millerna and I leave him be and go to the tent that's been set up as a sort of crisis center. Hitomi's there, never having left from this morning. Fanel and the catgirl, Merle, are with her, distributing care packages of food and bandages. Millerna presses Seclas into service, insisting that between them, Allen and Alucier are sufficient to watch over everyone. It's against orders, but it does make better use of him. It's unlikely anything will get out of hand. Dryden's working the crowd and even has drawn a few laughs. A part of it is natural affability; another part, I suspect, is the crutch. Dryden didn't suffer as much as they did, but he was hurt. He has a glimpse of their pain.
It's a bond on which neither Millerna nor I wish to intrude. The packages start running low and I go looking for Alucier. I want to walk around the immediate area to get a sense of how bad things really are. However, he too has temporarily abandoned his guard duties to help with a young family trying to clear broken glass out of their damaged home.
I ask myself out loud if anyone would notice if I did the survey by myself. The answer is a definite yes. When I turn around to leave, Allen's there.
"You should stay here. But if you insist on going, you'll need an escort."
Except no escorts are available other than him. And he's not really available. He's got more people than me to look out for. Not having a solution, I don't say anything.
"Seclas should be free any minute now. He can keep an eye on the others. I could take you," he offers kindly. It loses some effect when he finishes by addressing me with my title.
We walk in silence. It's not strictly because of the distance that remains between us; it would be wrong to chat away while stepping through the ruins of peoples' lives. The cathedral was made of stone and built carefully with no expense spared. The houses surrounding it weren't. They were row houses, built quickly and close together because the people who lived in them couldn't afford more. The wood used in their construction was little more than kindling to those Zaibach guymelefs. There is the consolation that the majority of the residents were at the wedding instead of being trapped inside.
Back at the cathedral, Millerna has rejoined Dryden. Hitomi is talking to them about something; judging from the pensive way she's holding her hands together, she's probably expressing more guilt over what she perceives as her role in the disaster. Millerna looks like she's reassuring her.
"I just don't see how pictures on cards could have stopped this from happening," I say.
"No, they couldn't. I don't think they're supposed to change anything, except maybe how you look at things."
There's something in his voice that begs the question, "Did she ever do one of those 'readings' for you?"
"Once," he says noncommittally. He waits long enough that I don't expect him to continue, let alone in the way that he does. "She read my past and my future, or what the future was at the time. She told me about my father, what he had done, how I felt about him. I had told her about Mother and Celena but I hadn't said a thing about him. But she knew. And she knew that I would see him again."
How could she have known that? She could have detected the hostility for his father by Leon's absence from the family background Allen gave her. Accurately predicting that they would meet again is entirely different. She could have been guessing but that would have been one extraordinarily lucky guess.
I don't feel like sharing my eavesdropping habits so I have to ask him if she was right.
"Yes. I saw him in Atlantis. I mean, I saw his spirit. Zaibach killed him a long time ago."
"And?"
"And he… I'm sorry. You wanted to know more about Hitomi's abilities."
No, that's not what I wanted to know. I can't force Allen to talk about Leon, though. I could never force him to do it when we were still friends. "I'm just curious about what she can do. Both you and Fanel place your faith in her."
"Given all that's she done, it would foolish not to believe in her. It's more than her cards or the pendant. She has these visions. She has these insights."
"And they change the way you look at things…" I echo his earlier words. They must. I remember how he talked to Hitomi about Leon. I remember how he was at the cemetery, that feeling of peace I sensed in him.
Inner peace through the psychic visions of a Mystic Moon girl. It sounds like the signs you see propped up in front of the tents of the carnival seers that travel from town to town. The text is always written in bold curls of paint over two pearl moons; the tent is a composition of exotic fabrics from the seer's homeland far, far away. But when you look closer, the paint is chipping and covering an advertisement from last year's fair. The tent is a patchwork of threadbare remnants of the carnival staffs' old clothes soaked in cheap dye. The seer is usually a local girl, wrapped in skirts, plated jewelry and a scarf with a black, braided wig underneath, reading off lines taught to her by the woman who held the job before her.
That's not Hitomi Kanzaki. True artifice isn't in her capacity. That might be the most convincing argument for the authenticity of her psychic gifts. The one lie she's told about them brought her so much guilt, that she took responsibility for an entire country's act of aggression. Millerna must have been persuasive though, in that regard. Hitomi's done with her hand wringing and happily volunteering for another shift in the relief effort. She convinces Merle to join her and tries for one more person but Fanel mutters something about Escaflowne as an excuse. His back turned from Hitomi but not me, he smiles at his companion's returned enthusiasm.
She can make the king of Fanelia smile. She helped Allen make peace with his father. That girl has to be blessed with special powers.
Humor aside, I don't think any Hitomi's real gift is supernatural at all. She's all openness, giving it herself and drawing it out in others. It's a quality I admire. I know I don't posses it myself. I've only recently taken steps in that direction with Millerna and that progress is still hindered by the tall, blond obstacle standing to my left.
Allen's smiling too, that old casual smile I recognize from the times when he would drop his guard and relax. It was rare to catch him in that mood and I made sure to take advantage of it every time. Usually, I'd get him to take me into the city where we'd just drift without destination or topic at hand. I used to take so much pleasure in those days of doing nothing, of just being with him without anything or anyone else pressing in, of seeing that smile.
I still do. The smile may be because of Hitomi Kanzaki, but it's there. He's happy -- something I thought he could never be. The one thing I always wanted most for him.
***
Palas almost breathes a sigh of relief at dusk. Finally, this day is over and everything can be safely put in the past tense. Weary and contemplating a very early bedtime, I flinch when I hear the yell out in the courtyard.
"VAAAAAAAAAN-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMAAA!!"
A dozen or so voices answer it with the request to be quiet. One person is more to the point and tells the speaker to shut up. There's a pause -- presumably long enough for a catgirl to give a defiant glare -- and then it starts up again.
"VAAAAAAAAAN-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMAAA!!"
Rushing to my window, I catch sight of two guards running out to intercept Merle. They are apparently on the side for quiet. There's a lot of gesturing by the two of them and a lot of jostling around to block Merle as she tries to continue on her way. Then there's a hiss and the sound of claws slicing through a puffed sleeve.
"THIS IS IMPORTANT!"
The guards, a bit dumbstruck, watch her storm away. Tail up, teeth and claws bared -- I wouldn't bother her either.
Van-Sama finally heeds the call and emerges from the palace. He doesn't get hugged or licked on the face. Merle doesn't even grab his arm. Instead, she violently waves a shoe in front of his face. She's crying and screaming all at once so her story's hard to make out but the essence of it is this:
She and Hitomi were helping out with the laundry in the shelter that was set up in the south wing of the palace for the people left homeless by this morning's attack. Hitomi was supposed to be delivering fresh linens to each room but she never came back from delivering her last stack. Merle thought Hitomi might have gotten tired from having such a long day and quit, but it didn't make much sense that she would leave one of her shoes behind, did it?
Fanel doesn't waste time. He takes off for the south wing, leaving Merle behind to mouth 'Van-sama' once more. The guards decide that it might be a good idea to check Hitomi's room before sounding an alarm but they don't sound as if they think they'll find a single-shoed girl inside.
I thought Zaibach would come back to get her. I never would have assumed that it would be this quickly. Who else could it be? It's too much of a coincidence that the girl they were after would disappear so shortly after their first attempt failed.
Everyone else must be thinking of Zaibach too. The amount of guards responding to this doesn't jibe with Hitomi's status. Within twenty minutes, a full alert has been raised. Guards patrol the palace; they won't let anyone take advantage of this distraction to abscond with anyone else. They pass me on their routes and warn me to go back into my room, which is good advice that I don't follow. I'm a bit concerned about Merle. She wanted to be with Millerna but my sister had to turn her away to take care of Dryden after the hearing the news. With nowhere to go, she's pacing the hallway in front of my room. She's still clutching the shoe.
She nearly throws it at Revius when he arrives and questions her about Hitomi's disappearance. He's half-asleep and still getting the details of his Caeli uniform in order. The former is cured when Merle takes advantage of the latter by grabbing his cravat and smacking him with it.
"For the third time! I saw Hitomi leave. Hitomi didn't come back. I found her shoe on the steps. That's all I really know!" The interview concluded to her satisfaction, she goes to the large windows at the end of the hall. Escaflowne has taken to Palas' skies again; it's owner intent on conducting his own search.
"I guess I should be grateful she didn't hit me the shoe," Revius grumbles.
From down the hall, Merle brings attention to something more ominous than an agitated catgirl and the footwear she wields. "Allen! I'm so glad you're here! Have you heard about Hitomi?"
That would be my guess. He strides past Merle and heads directly for the captain of the palace guard.
"How could you let this happen?" he shouts at Revius. "You knew Zaibach wanted her and you didn't assign anyone to look after her?"
"She's not Asturian. She's not a foreign official. I didn't receive any orders stating otherwise so it's not within my purview to single her out for special guard duty."
"Not within your purview?! Your duty is to ensure the safety of everyone in this palace. If -- "
"I know what my duties are, Allen. And you're right about making sure everyone's safe. Which is precisely why I can't sacrifice men to watch over one girl and leave an entire section of the palace unguarded. You know how packed this palace is with refugees. You know how on edge everyone is. That's not an easy situation. And if you were that damned worried about her, you should have kept an eye on her yourself."
But that's why he's yelling at you, Revius. He already feels the guilt. This fight is an attempt to throw it off onto someone else before it can sink in entirely. A half-hearted attempt -- Allen can so love a good wallow in his responsibilities.
Revius wasn't Allen's roommate for several years without learning something about him. He backs off and tries a different tack. "That's not really relevant now. She's missing; we've got to find her. I'm pulling everyone who is off-duty and I'm putting them on the search. I talked to Merle. Whoever took her doesn't have that much of a lead time on us."
"Yeah," Merle yells down the hall, thinking she's being helpful, "I know it wasn't more than an hour from when she left to when I found her shoe."
"An hour?! She could be anywhere by now!"
"Oh, now you decide to be forthcoming," Revius hisses at Merle. Her tail goes rigid as she literally hisses back.
"We don't know if it's been an hour," I say. "For all we know, Hitomi was taken seconds before Merle came along. She reported it right away -- " Merle is slower to affirm this than is promising -- "and we started looking for her right away. You had to have seen Fanel out on his guymelef. He can spot from above what we might miss."
Merle's second stab at helping is much better than the first. "Van-sama found her before when she got kidnapped. Remember? Nothing can out fly him on Escaflowne and Hitomi taught him all that creepy pendant stuff. He'll find her in no time."
No time isn't short enough for Allen. He demands that Revius tell him the name of every man on the search and exactly where they're searching. He thinks more guards should be searching around the Meifia Bridge. It is the main path to the countryside from the city proper. He doesn't give Revius the chance to assign him to the area.
"We're not going to get any sleep tonight, are we?" Merle sighs.
I don't but she does, eventually. Merle's intention was to take up a post by Millerna's door so she could keep her apprised of the latest news. By midnight, she's curled into a tight ball and sleeping deeply. Her purring gives a soft hum to the bustle of the thorough, and noisy, search Revius has organized. Guards pass under my window at regular intervals, either rushing after the latest lead or off to question potential witnesses. Just when I start to doze, some small noise will disturb me. The strangest sounds carry on still nights like these.
Revius keeps me informed personally, which is to say, he stops by every other hour to tell me they haven't found Hitomi. When dawn comes without any progress, he makes the call to add leviships to the search methods. He pretends that he was only waiting to use them until there was enough light because the real reason is too pessimistic. It's been so long. They need leviships to expand the boundaries of the search. Even on horseback, Hitomi and her captors could have reached the border to the south. Or they could be in the thick forests up north. Or entering the swamps. They could be anywhere.
I have breakfast sent up. It will be a distraction. More so, when the handmaiden delivering the meal steps on Merle's tail. Dishes clank against the floor and form islands rising above the puddles of juice. Merle's fur, the parts not soaked through anyway, stands on end and the handmaiden backs away from her slowly.
No words or blows are exchanged. A bright beam of light streaks up and across the sky and all arguments are forgotten. As if sensing the source, Merle whispers her Van-sama's name and takes off down the stairs.
Pressing her hands against the window, the handmaiden moans, "No, they can't still be here."
'They' being Zaibach and their damned floating fortress. It's over the ocean, a good distance from the palace and recognizable only because of the shape. That doesn't assuage much dread. They could be on top of us in minutes; they could float blithely over the city while everyone below cowers with the knowledge of what will come next. The only thing between the city and the fortress is Fanel's guymelef. Up against Zaibach's black monolith, it's a white speck, a gnat bothering a great lumbering beast.
The thing about gnats though, is just how bothersome they can be. So hard to hit, so persistent. One little bug flying in the right place at the right time can drive a person mad.
One Escaflowne in the right place at the right time can drive a fortress into the ocean.
I don't believe what I'm seeing at first. The handmaiden thinks that Zaibach might be descending to attack us but it isn't descending, it's tilting, falling. Trails of smoke and spots of orange pop up and begin to consume the face of the fortress. It's hypnotic to watch. I know that it's manned. I know that there are people inside who are frightened and desperately trying to save themselves but those people knew the same thing when they struck at Millerna's wedding. When the fortress hits the water, all I can think is that they can't hurt us again.
The cheers start immediately. The few people who didn't see have plenty of accounts to catch them up on what they missed. Millerna peeks out of her bedroom to see what the noise is about and I share my own.
There's one more piece of good news. Merle reappears, panting hard but with a wide smile on her face. Millerna forces her to take several deep, calming breathes before she lets her talk.
Merle blurts it all out in a rush regardless. "Van-sama! He destroyed the fortress! I knew he could do it! I saw him fly overhead after the fortress went down and he looked so determined and strong. That's what they get for burning Fanelia. And for the stuff they did to you people. I should go meet him at the dockyard to let him know how proud I am!"
"I think he knows, Merle," Millerna says. "But why is he headed for the dockyard?"
"He was following the Crusade."
"Why is the Crusade headed for the dockyard? Aren't they searching for Hitomi?"
"I was getting to that part," Merle insists. "That Caeli that was asking me all those questions before told me tell you right away. He rode that poor horse as fast as it would go all the way up from the harbor too."
"Merle…" I demand.
"Anyway," she says brightly. "They found Hitomi!"
***
Wedding nights are the stuff of lewd rumors and even lewder jokes. The wedding nights of royals are not an exception -- people just use fancier vocabulary and voices when they get to juicy bits. Thanks the gods that we have at least moved beyond the days when the couple had to present a bloodied bed sheet to prove that the marriage was consummated and that the bride had been virtuous prior to the act. I don't think anyone's ever cared about the virtue of the groom.
There won't be any of the kind of talk today. No one's in the mood for humor and there would be nothing to talk about anyway. Oh, Millerna could produce sheets with blood on them. She had a romantic night of getting up at regular intervals to clean Dryden's wounds and change the dressings. She caught desperately needed naps in a chair she pulled up by the bedside. Then there are the numerous times she checked in on how the search for Hitomi was progressing.
Her husband, with the assistance of a large dose of medicinal herbs, slept like a stone through the whole night. He wasn't aware that Hitomi was missing until Millerna woke him up with a very boisterous expression of happiness over her friend being found.
Needless to say, Millerna's exhausted this morning. Yawns pepper the dramatic-but-not-in-the-way-you-would-expect details of her first night as married woman. Yet, 'Dryden snores. A lot.' is her only complaint.
She hopes that the herbs are partly to blame and that once he's healed, he won't sleep on his back. So she can get a better night's sleep tonight, she decides to use Marlene's old bedroom. Just for a night or two, she says.
***
Dryden's first official act as regent is to take over Father's place on the council. He jokes that he thinks he'll enjoy his injury more. I tell him some things are too true to be funny.
I do want to attend the session they're holding today. Dryden, especially in his condition, deserves more support than the self-interested eye of his father on him. I remember the pangs of intimidation I felt during my first council meeting and Dryden's in for worse than I was. I didn't have to lead that meeting. The main item of discussion that day was the annexation of a derelict farm to the city. The rest of the time was filled with a great deal of blather about how Lord Geyton's parties weren't as good as they used to be since his wife hired a new head maid. Dryden is going to talk about war.
Right now, it's just the possibility of war. No one wants one but there's momentum building for the idea that it might be necessary. We need to have some kind of reaction to Zaibach's actions. I know Dryden's against a violent response. Millerna and I were the test audience for his opening speech. Millerna gave him the support expected of a wife. I suggested rewording a few of his sentences to get the council's attention better but I didn't comment on the content. It would be nice to believe we could settle this with trade embargoes and reparations, but that solution seems too pat, too fairytale, to be feasible. Fanel took out one fortress. We have no idea how many more Zaibach has. Not letting them buy our grain doesn't sound like much of a defense against this unknown army.
Amongst those who would do the fighting, war is the prevailing solution. Allen's not the only Caeli arguing for it. Fanel's opinion on the matter is clear in the way he stalks around the palace. Neither Merle nor Hitomi has been able to soften his mood.
I wish I knew what Father would do. He let Zaibach attack Freid, but only because he thought it would protect us. He claimed he never would have done it if Marlene were still alive. Does that automatically mean he'd go to war now? Many of his people have died already. Both Millerna and I were in danger at the wedding. How far would he be willing to go?
He's not likely to give us an answer anytime soon. He hasn't said anything since his words on the balcony. Mostly, he's been sleeping more and more. The doctors say that he's recuperating. That doesn't mean much to me when it causes Millerna to visit him more often.
She says she's making up for when she was away. I've caught her studying him though, deliberately arranging his pillows and sneaking glances at the medicine he's given. For once, I want her to share everything she knows about medicine.
Since I can't be in the meeting, I might as well join her while she sits with Father. She's not consulting texts or counting pills when I arrive. She's sitting by herself, hunched forward and looking more worried than usual.
"Has something happened to him?" I ask her.
"No," she says. "Father is… He's the same as ever. I mean, he's the same as he's been since the wedding."
"He was doing well that day. If he recovered once, he can do it again."
"That's certainly possible. There are records of patients in much worse condition than him making full recoveries." Millerna doesn't tell me about any of these miracle patients. I have a feeling that their stories are few and far between.
"That's good to hear," I say anyway.
Father's breathing is more ragged than I remember it being. His face hangs looser than what a restful sleep would suggest.
"Do you ever think what would happen if he doesn't recover?" Millerna asks suddenly. "What would happen if he died?"
"I…" I have thought about it, but only in an abstract sense. I thought about silly things like what changes I would make to this room if it were mine or how I might run the council meetings if I had the chance -- all plans for which Father didn't truly have to be gone but simply not there at the time. "Not seriously. I haven't wanted to consider it."
" I know, but I feel like… maybe we should. Dryden's already taken his job on the council. When he was reading his speech to us, I couldn't help but think if that was what Father would say. That Dryden wasn't doing it right. That we wouldn't be able to do it right."
"I thought your response was a bit reserved --"
"That's just it, Eries. It wasn't. I told Dryden it was a good speech but inside, I wanted to yell at him for trying to take Father's place. I know that's the last thing Dryden wants to do. He's acting as regent because he has to. But how long do we have before he's acting as king?"
"I don't know. But it hasn't happened yet."
"That's what I keep telling myself," she says. "Last night, when I heard Hitomi had been kidnapped, the first thought that came to me was 'She's gone. I'm never going to see her again. Just like everyone else.' I couldn't help it."
"I think that's understandable after everything that happened yesterday. She's safe now."
"She's safe *for now*. Zaibach's not going to forget about her and the council has to decide what to do with her."
"They wouldn't turn her over," I say.
Millerna disagrees. "I overhead Dryden and his father talking. Some of the council members think the only reason Zaibach attacked was because of Hitomi. They think if we give her to Zaibach, they won't bother us anymore."
I can think of a few names that would attach themselves to such a plan. Lord Millay doesn't like anything that disrupts the natural flow of the country's business. War is about as a disruptive event as there can be. Meiden probably told Dryden in an attempt to convince him it was the best choice. I'm not sure about Lords Poniard and Fossler. They tend to follow the mood of their fellow councilmen rather than taking stances of their own. If they hear the right speaker…
I don't know why I still do this. That speaker can't be me. My influence on the council has evaporated to the point where my contacts aren't even keeping me informed. I need my little sister to listen in on her husband to find out what's going on.
"And what did Dryden say about it?"
"He didn't contradict his father. He said he'd take it under consideration. But then," Millerna says, "he said he was going to invite Van and Allen to speak at the meeting since they have more experience with Zaibach than anyone."
That was canny of Dryden. Fanel and Allen wouldn't give up Hitomi without a very bloody fight and he knows it. He can let those two argue the extreme of defying Zaibach against those who are in favor of appeasement. Then, Dryden can fall somewhere in the middle and be seen as the practical politician who weighs all the options fairly. "Perhaps all that boasting he did before the wedding has merit. He already knows how to get what he wants without it appearing that he's taking an unpopular position."
"I don't know if I like him using friends to do it, but I do know Van and Allen will do everything they can to protect Hitomi." She adds quietly, "She means so much to the both of them."
"I've noticed. Does that…?"
"Does that bother me? I don't want it to. Hitomi's been a good friend. I can't control who else she's friends with or how close they get to her. What about you, Eries?"
"Me?" I hadn't expected her to ask that. She speculated a little when I told her Allen and I used to be friends but she hasn't brought it up since. "I don't think it's for me to judge."
"Maybe not, but that just stops you from sharing your judgment. It doesn't stop you from feeling one way or the other."
"So what you're saying is that your marriage to Dryden hasn't changed anything."
Millerna exhales in frustration. "What I'm saying is that I'd like a real answer from you! Yes or no, Eries? Does it bother you that Allen and Hitomi are as close as they are?"
I could sidestep the question easily. I could accuse Millerna of avoiding my question, of confusing her situation with mine. I could dismiss it entirely. Why would I be bothered? A person can have as many close friends as they want. Even if there were more to his relationship with Hitomi, why would I care? I told you we were just friends. There are so many ways to tell Millerna 'no', but if she was brave enough to ask, I should be brave enough to answer.
Yet, the answer is still 'no'.
It all goes back to that smile. So many times, I saw Allen as the man he could be, the one I wanted him to be. At that moment, that was who he actually was. I'm not going to be jealous of the girl who helped him get there. I tried to do the same. I tried so much I didn't realize I was the only one making the effort. I don't think that's the case anymore. It might be the difference in Hitomi's personality to mine. It might be her 'psychic gifts'. It might be because she was the one who happened to be there when Allen finally let loose that iron grip on his past. I don't know the circumstances. I do know the result.
"It might have once, Millerna, but no, it doesn't bother me. I'm happy for him."
"I just thought…"
"I know. Up until this minute, I thought it too."
***
"VAAAAAAAAAN-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMAAA!!"
Not again. At least Merle's waited until morning to go searching for her lord. Unfortunately, she's not finding him with nearly the speed she did on the night of Hitomi's disappearance.
"VAAAAAAAAAN-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMAAA!!"
Dryden gets to her before I can. Lucky catgirl, he's a pacifist. Merle holds no such ideology. Shoving and name-calling are her methods. Dryden hasn't screamed out in pain yet, so it would seem she is keeping her claws sheathed.
"What do you want Van for? Maybe I can help you out instead."
"I don't want Van-sama for anything, I just want Van-sama! I can't find him anywhere!"
It's early, so I'll forgive Dryden the mistake of suggesting incredibly obvious places where Merle could search and likely did search several times over already.
Merle? She's not as lenient. "Do you think I'm stupid? I've been looking for him for a half-hour! I've asked people if they've seen him! THERE. IS. NO. SIGN. OF. HIM! Idiot…"
I grin from the safety of my room. I don't think Dryden or especially Merle would find any humor in this. I shouldn't either. The king of Fanelia vanishing, if that is indeed what happened, from the palace is a serious matter. It should be taken seriously, even if one of the people discussing it is a huffy catgirl who freely insults the intelligence of the future king of Asturia.
Fortunately, someone comes along who will give the matter its due diligence. Merle shrieks Allen's name and demands that he help her find Fanel now.
"Calm down, Merle. We'll find Van soon enough."
"You knew he was missing?!"
"And you were being so secretive about it, Merle," Dryden mutters.
"Yes… She did bring some attention to it," Allen says diplomatically. "Did he say anything about going to the barn where he keeps Escaflowne?"
"The barn! That's it! He's there! He has to be! Come on, come on! We have to go!"
"Merle, we should wait for -- Oww!" I guess I was wrong about the claws being sheathed. Allen's a quick healer and a fast learner. "All right, we'll go now."
"Aren't you coming to help, Dryden?" Merle yells.
"I thought I was an idiot?" he counters. He's soon relenting though. "I'll come with you. I can get us the king's fastest horses or something."
I allow them plenty of time to vacate the hallway before I come out myself. I don't wish to be recruited for the search party too. Millerna must be of the same mind. The door to Marlene's old bedroom is cracked open to allow someone to hear without being seen.
"They're gone," I say through the opening.
"What was that all about? I didn't think it was possible for Van to go somewhere without Merle knowing about it."
"Maybe he realized people need their sleep and decided not to wake her before he left."
"That's terrible," she laughs. More subdued, she asks, "You don't suppose it is anything to be worried about though, do you? I know how quickly we panicked when Hitomi was missing but this is Van. He doesn't go anywhere without his sword. If someone attacked him, we would know about, right?"
"Undoubtedly. I think Allen was right about the barn and the guymelef."
"Maybe I should ask Hitomi. He might have told her or she would be able to find other ways if she had to."
She's worried. In the space of two days, she's gotten married, had her wedding ceremony interrupted by an enemy attack, saw her husband get hurt trying to protect her and her friend was kidnapped. Fanel vanishing under suspicious circumstances is almost a logical progression of events. "We'll both ask her."
There's a problem with that. No one answers when we knock on Hitomi's door. No one is in the room when we enter. The only trace of Hitomi is that bag she always carried around sitting in the middle of the bed. My theory that she got up to run around the palace grounds like she does in the evenings is disputed by Millerna finding the shirt and short pants Hitomi always wears.
I try another theory. "She could be with Fanel."
"She could be. I need to know for sure."
"Wait, Millerna," I call after her as she rushes out of the room. "She could have gone to the kitchens for breakfast for all we know. You can't go rushing out into the countryside by yourself."
She gets her escort without any effort at all. Ever so conveniently, Allen's second-in-command, Gaddes, appears, looking for his commander.
Millerna brightens when he asks if we know where Allen is. "I know exactly where he is, Gaddes. Get a carriage and I'll take you to him."
He takes one look at her and knows he is going to do exactly as she says. He asks where the carriages are kept and goes to fetch on.
I try to stop her. "Millerna, wait," I repeat. She's already half-way to the courtyard and too focused on her mission to bother to listen to my voice of reason. This whole situation seems odd to me. Odd in that it doesn't feel as familiar as it should. Hitomi and Fanel aren't missing so much as their whereabouts are unknown. Millerna must be taking her cue from Merle's distress because there's no indication that anything treacherous has happened. There's no left behind shoe.
As ridiculous as that sounds, it's completely rational compared to the sight of the Moleman ambling up to the carriage Gaddes brings to the front of the palace. Millerna hops in; the Moleman hops under. Gaddes takes off without a clue.
This had better amount to nothing. I don't want to go through another tense search. I don't want Millerna to have to face the loss of two friends.
And I really don't want to have to explain the part about the Moleman to anyone.
***
Author's Notes: I know Eries seems pretty flippant about Van and Hitomi's disappearance but it was only because I was trying to match the tone the series had about it. I love that scene with Merle popping in and around the screen SD style and bitching about Hitomi. It's one of the few times (maybe the only time) that Allen's reaction to bad news is played for laughs.
There's been a big fan art update on my Eries shrine since I last posted. Lots and lots of art by Sakura has been added and I've got a work by a new contributor, Mary-chan. it's at www(DOT)geocities.com/eriesariaaston.fanart.
Next up: The chapter you were expecting this time -- 'My Best Friends Engagement'. And the return of the original character most of you want to stay very far away from Alucier. ^_^