Note: Wah! This was so difficult! I really suck at confessions. In fact, the only thing I suck more at is proof reading. Have you noticed? That explains every mistake I make. That and the fact that English isn't my first language. Far from it. Anyway, it took me a lot of effort to write this and I still don't know if it's any good. Um…remember when I said that this is going to be the last chapter? Well…this could be the last one. But…if you think you can bear to read more I would be happy to write, 'cause I really like clear, happy endings. And also, Annachan, thank you so much!! You've really encouraged me to carry on. bows gratefully
Chapter 4 - Taking Action
Finally, finally Sakuragi walked through the gates, followed by his friends. He was late, just like Rukawa had predicted. Well, I guess it's fine. Less audience. Rukawa's face lightened up as he watched how the red head grinned to himself, singing his tensai song. Rukawa was about to stand up and get to him when a particular part of Sakuragi's song reached his ears.
"And Rukawa is nothing", Sakuragi sang cheerfully.
Rukawa froze. A sting of pain went through him but he did his best to ignore it. It's just a song. He doesn't really mean it. He bowed his head, closed his eyes and tried to shut out the fact that actually it was probable that Sakuragi meant it. At least he wants it to be so, he suddenly thought and his eyes snapped open. But if I think about it, he's always watching me and paying attention to me. Calling me kitsune and arguing with me. He considers me his arch rival and thus he has to. I'm the reason he's pushing himself to his limits to get better at basketball and at everything. Rukawa conveniently 'forgot' Akagi Haruko's influence on the do'aho. Heads up, Kaede. Even if he doesn't like you he definitely doesn't think you're nothing, either. Cheering up Rukawa lifted his head to call Sakuragi's name but stopped midway. He blinked and then cursed. While he had been hesitating Sakuragi had already gone inside. Rukawa turned and headed towards the school building, hurrying his steps since he was late. Damn it! Next time I'll just grab him without hesitation, no matter what he's singing.
The teacher didn't say anything when Rukawa entered the classroom without saying a word of apology. I guess he thinks it's a waste of time. Which it is, of course. He sat down and immediately placed his head on the desk. Since I didn't get to confess yet, I can still dream happy things. And he did.
What exactly was it in Sakuragi that made him fall head over heels for the stupid, loud and annoying self proclaimed tensai? He really didn't know. Sure, Sakuragi was sweet and he definitely was cute (especially when he did something stupid, which pretty much meant that he was cute all the time) but so were many others and Rukawa hadn't even noticed them. Perhaps it had all started with Sakuragi making Rukawa notice him. How could anyone not notice something as loud and lively as the red head. The ridiculous things he did caught everyone's attention. No one was indifferent about him. Rukawa knew that without his good looks he himself would be the kind to go unnoticed. Sakuragi was the exact opposite of him.
When Rukawa was down and brooding it was Sakuragi's presence that made him feel better. The do'aho would stick his head close to Rukawa's and make a silly, inspecting face. "What's wrong with the king of bastards today?" Sakuragi would say. "Stupid kitsune, prepare yourself. Today is the day you will admit your defeat and bow before the tensai." And then Sakuragi would walk away, laughing his impossible laugh. This had happened many times. Somehow the ritual made Rukawa's heart feel light and happy again. Perhaps it was the smiling face so close to his own or perhaps it was the attention Sakuragi was giving him. He didn't know.
Watching Sakuragi's silly stunts had gradually become Rukawa's favourite past time. He watched as Sakuragi complained to Akagi, earning a few bumps on his forehead. He watched as Sakuragi complained to Ayako, earning a few bumps more, from Ayako herself and, if the red head had been too offensive, from Ryota as well. He watched as Sakuragi teased Mitsui about Kogure and got beaten. He watched as Sakuragi made a fool of himself in so many ways that he didn't believe it was possible to find any other ways to do it. The do'aho proved him wrong, however, over and over again. All this made Rukawa feel warm inside and he wanted to smile and to take care of the block head, to make him feel better after being laughed at and kiss the scowling mouth, to make him smile again. To smile at him, Rukawa, and not to anyone else. Rukawa loved his smiling face.
It was lunch time and Rukawa was sitting on the roof, like always. Well, actually he usually slept but anyway. He was thinking, yet again, of what to say to Sakuragi. 'I like you'. Would that be enough? What if he wants to know why? 'I love your smiling face', is that all I would be able to say? Rukawa heaved a heavy sigh. I love your eyes, 'cause they're warm and soft and full of life. Mushy, way too mushy. I love your body. …What the hell? How would that make him love me? If I say that he'll beat the crap out of me and he would be entitled to it. Athough it's true… but it's not a thing you should say when confessing. That kind of things come after you confess and also after he has said that he likes you too. Rukawa's eyes went blank for a few minutes. He was thinking about the 'that kind of things' mentioned earlier. Then he came back to reality and bit his lip. Now is not the time for this. Now is the time to think of something that will convince him of my huge potential in the boyfriend business. Why am I the best candidate? Why am I better than the others, better than Akagi Haruko? I have to give him a reason to think that I just am.
Rukawa spent the rest of the day thinking of Sakuragi. Of course he always did spend his days thinking of the do'aho but today was special. Today he was feeling very nervous and his dreams varied from happy endings to cruel, painful deaths to Sakuragi smiling happily with Akagi's sister clinging to him. Ugh, I have to stop thinking like that. Come on now, Kaede. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. And this went on until the end of the basketball practice.
During practice Rukawa was unable to concentrate which of course made Sakuragi very happy. Rukawa was kind of glad that he had made Sakuragi so happy, although the way it had happened didn't please him very much. Oh well, at least he's in a good mood now. It's easier to approach him. Rukawa and Sakuragi were on cleaning duty that day, which was perfect for Rukawa's plans. Heart pounding and sweat forming small beads on his forehead Rukawa watched how Sakuragi skidded from one side to the other, whistling a happy tune. Okay, Kaede! Now is the time! Show that you're not a coward. Be a man!
"…Sakuragi?" Rukawa was proud to notice that his voice didn't crack. Unfortunately Sakuragi appeared not to have heard him. "Sakuragi", he said again, this time a little more firmly.
Sakuragi lifted his head and looked at him. "What? Are you finally ready to confess that I'm better than you?"
Rukawa flinched at the 'confess' but shaked his head. "No, it's not that." Uh, perhaps I should've said that he is, it would have made him more agreeable. He was about to correct his mistake when Sakuragi tossed the cleaning equipment aside and stormed next to him.
"Teme! Kitsune! What do you mean 'that's not it'? Didn't you see it clearly today? Do I have show you again?"
"Sakuragi, I-" He was cut off when Sakuragi grabbed his shirt and leaned closer. Close enough to make his face slightly red.
"I'll show you that the tensai is better!" Sakuragi howled and swung his fist. It successfully landed on Rukawa's cheek and Rukawa fell on his back.
That hurt. He was about to stand up again when Sakuragi threw himself on top him, ready to beat him up. Their position gave Rukawa improper thoughts but he quickly drove them away and concentrated on calming Sakuragi down. After much effort, stifled curses and frantic fighting Rukawa was able to pin the other boy down. Panting, he looked down at his loved one. Sakuragi's face was dirty with sweat and blood, his hair was tangled and he had a cute pout on his face. Rukawa couldn't help but smile.
Sakuragi gasped and stared at him with his mouth wide open. "K-kitsune! You're smiling!" he shouted, looking a bit horrified. But to Rukawa's pleasure he was also looking at him with wonder and unintentional admiration.
"You make me smile", Rukawa said. It was amazing. Now that the time to confess was really here, it didn't seem that hard after all. "I love you." Rukawa was still smiling. He didn't know what kind of smile it was but it felt just right.
Sakuragi blinked. And blinked. And then he blushed like mad and began to stutter. "Wh-what?"
"I love you, Hanamichi." Somehow the 'I like you' he had practiced so hard had changed into 'I love you' but Rukawa didn't care. This was the way to make his feelings clear. He had never said these words aloud to anyone nor had he ever been in a situation like this before. Funny how being near Sakuragi seemed to make everything clear.
"Y-you..?"
"I love you."
For awhile Sakuragi was unable to do anything but gape. Then he tried to speak but he was so flustered that nothing came out. Finally he seemed to regain his composure. "Oh, I see! You're trying to fool the tensai! Nyahaha! It wont work!"
Rukawa's smile grew wider. "No, Sakuragi", he said gently, "I really do love you."
His voice was so sincere that Sakuragi couldn't doubt him anymore. He went back to gaping.
As if in a trance Rukawa leaned in closer. He hadn't planned to kiss the red head but once again it just felt like the right thing to do. It was a rather chaste kiss. He just put his lips on Sakuragi's and stayed there for a short time before lifting his head again. He could feel Sakuragi's heart pounding wildly.
"U-uwaah!" Sakuragi yelped and jerked back. Rukawa let him go and gazed at him while he tried to calm down, sitting only a short distance away from the fox eyed boy. "I-I'm sorry, I d-don't really…"
Fear and pain. Shut them out, Kaede. This is not the end. "Alright, I understand. I just wanted to clear things up."
"Uh…" Sakuragi got up and started to walk towards the changing room, evidently trying desperately to look like he was not running away.
"Just so you know", Rukawa interrupted Sakuragi's steps, "I will not give up. I'll make you see things my way." And he added, as an afterthought: "Do'aho." Sakuragi blushed and rushed out of sight, almost tearing the door down in his hurry. Rukawa couldn't help a low chuckle. He's so cute. He sighed and continued cleaning. He felt better after confessing. He touched his lips with his fingers and smiled. Much better.