He Told Me Then
By 1805 we were both Midshipman and great friends.
We had our arguments, but also our truces. He was a good friend among all the others, and the more we talked, the more I wanted to be around him.
I did not even think about why that was. It was just a nagging feeling somewhere in me.
In the beginning of the year he drew me apart from the others into a dark corner of the ship. I wondered why it was he wanted to talk with me there, but I did not linger on the thought.
"I need to tell you something," he said.
"What is it?" I sat down on a box and he sat across from me on another one.
"It has been troubling me," he said.
I almost groaned with the thought that he wanted advice about something. I was never good at giving that.
"Ever since I first spoke to you," he continued, "there has been an ill feeling in the bottom of my stomach."
"I am sorry I make you sick," I said quickly.
"No," he said and he reached out to put his hand on my shoulder, but he drew back. "No. You do not make me sick."
He became quiet and I did not want to bother him. I sat and studied the sounds of creaking wood and people walking. I listened to a dim song from the Captain's cabin. I knew it was Captain Aubrey and the Doctor on their instruments. I wondered how the sound carried so far when voices did not.
"I beg your pardon," Peter said. I looked up at him.
"For what?" I asked.
"For this," he said and moved towards me. I sat still as a rock, confused about his actions. He brought his face close to mine and very lightly brushed his lips against my own. Then he was up and gone.
I sat there for a long time, until someone called my name and I had to leave.