Against God
Peter stayed away from me for a while. I accepted that and was glad I could be left to my own thoughts. There was work to do, and many times I forgot that moment, only to be reminded of it later.
On the outside I acted as I had always done. On the inside I was confused and mixed up with feelings. I did not like what Peter had done, for it had caught me off guard. But I did like it at the same time and wanted him to do it again.
A month passed before Peter dared to speak with me in private again. We were alone on watch in the earliest day hours.
"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," he said.
"I can understand," I said. "You've made me all confused."
"How so?" he asked and I explained. "What do you want me to do?"
He leaned on the railing of the ship and looked into the water. The moon reflected off it in a most queer way that night.
"I want-" I started to say, but could not finish. I thought my answer over while watching him. "I want you to do it again," I said.
He lifted his head and looked at me. I stood still and met his gaze. I saw in them the same thing one could see of the moon on the water, and I wondered what I had gotten myself into. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"I would do anything for you," he said, "but I fear I cannot do what you ask of me this time."
"Why not?" I asked, moving closer to him.
"It is against God," he said and let me go.