KALEIDOSCOPE
Turn Two: Lost and Lost Some More
Shuichi had written it.
That was the first thought in Ryuichi's head. In fact, that was the only thought in Ryuichi's head. He couldn't speak or move. His body refused to work, and his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Kumagoru slowly slipped from the safe place in the singer's pocket, spilling its rabbit pinkness onto the bland carpet of Tohma's office, but Ryuichi didn't even notice that his stuffed companion had left his side. His ragged, moss-green seemed to droop in the melting light of the room, the sun was already beginning to set, and those slender fingers clutching the twisted spine and slightly bent pages trembled convulsively.
I like shiny things, too.
Shuichi had written it.
Will you be my friend?
Shuichi had written it.
Shuichi had written it.
Hadn't he?
Ryuichi slid his nose along the kanji-decorated paper, lips pressed gingerly to it. He inhaled, a faint edible smell filling his lungs and flooding him with relief. Shuichi was all over the notebook. He licked at the whiteness, and he smiled. There was just a hint of Tohma, too. Shuichi was strawberry, fluffy and creamy like the stuff he and Kumagoru shared in the morning at breakfast. Tohma was spicy vanilla from one of those little bottles that shimmered green when he played with it. He eyed the words again, just to be certain.
I like shiny things, too. Will you be my friend?
Shuich must have written it.
Or Tohma.
Ryuichi nodded happily, having convinced himself, and he tucked the already rugged diary-slash-journal under his arm before spinning around to leave. His sneaker squished Kumagoru, nearly mutilating those lovable rabbit features, and Ryuichi didn't hesitate to grab the lonely bunny by the ear, dragging him up into his embrace only to be stuffed back into the pocket he had fallen from. The singer was currently distracted by the curious thoughts floating in his head, and Tohma was waiting to take him home, too.
"Vroom, vroom, Kumagoru! Let's go, Na No Da!"
Ryuichi was unaware of the invisible tears of sadness slipping from beady black eyes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
NG's foyer was amazingly quiet by the time Tohma and Ryuichi had ventured there, and the blonde waited patiently for the other to finish "accidentally" sliding across the well-waxed linoleum before heading to the exit. It was difficult not to smile and be stern when Ryuichi did something that childish, and Tohma shook his head, hands resting carefully in his pockets until the singer had expended most of his energy. Ryuichi latched on to him.
"TOHMA, Na No Da!" A grin was plastered to his face. "Home! Home, Na No Da. Are we going? Are we?" He nodded, and the vocalist ran excitedly to the push-and-pull door, shoving his way through to the outside. The sun was barely visible due to the clouds hiding its sinking face, but the singer enjoyed the cool breeze caressing his skin, his body itching to move despite Tohma's slow descent from on-high. Voices alerted him to someone else's presence other than his blonde-haired friend, but Ryuichi was too absorbed by the petite butterfly fluttering past him to notice the sobs or pink filling the air. He watched it curiously for a moment, intrigued by its lack of color and rather sudden appearance, but the hand on his shoulder returned him to the other reality, the one he hadn't created. Ryuichi immediately spotted Shuichi, who was kicking at the concrete with his tennis shoe, face red and stained with tears, and he errupted into a rambling, completely ignoring Tohma. "SHUICHI!" The older singer lept at him but was surprisingly avoided when Shuichi stepped to the side.
"Hello," he muttered, obviously unhappy. Ryuichi recovered from the plunge into a nearby bush with ease and tried latching onto the other's leg.
"Kumagoru and Ryuichi LOVE Shuichi," he belted out, slapping at the slender hands attempting to push him away. "Sing, Na No Da?"
"Now isn't the time." Tohma smiled. "Ryuichi-san."
"Ohh!" Ryuichi sprang to his feet, forcing Shuichi to stare at him. A blush awkwardly spread across the younger man's face. "Shuichi's been crying. What's wrong, Na No Da?" He wrapped his arms around his body and shivered. "Sick? Headache? Does your stomach hurt, Shuichi, Na No Da?" Ryuichi moved to poke him, but Shuichi took a step back.
"N-no...I..." The pink-haired singer glanced nervously at Tohma, who was still smiling like he knew something no one else knew. As a matter of fact, he probably did. "Are you sure it's okay? I mean..." He sputtered, unsure of himself.
"Relax," Tohma commanded, uncharacteristic of his usual stoic, uncaring demeanor. "Everything is under control."
"But he-" Tohma eyed him sternly.
"I'll take care of everything."
"I..." Shuichi lowered his head in defeat. "Alright." After a moment, he muttered a weak thank you, avoiding the other's piercing gaze, and Ryuichi, as always, remained oblivious to the seemingly coded conversation. He tightened his hold on Shuichi by twining his arms around his shoulders, practically hanging on him like he was a human blanket. Shuichi staggered, already inept at supporting his own weight most of the time, and he barely managed to keep from falling. Tohma's sharp command verbally slapped the elder singer in the face.
Ryuichi knew he was being bad when Tohma lost his temper.
"Sorry, Na No Da."
"No, it's okay. I...you're just a little too heavy for me to carry." Ryuichi clapped his hands, pulling Kumagoru from his pants.
"Kumagoru says you're funny, Shuichi. Kumagoru also says that Ryuichi isn't that heavy, Na No Da." He stuck the rabbit in Shuichi's face. "See?"
"I...yeah..." Ryuichi immediately lost himself in a conversation with Kumagoru about whether or not Shuichi was actually funny, and Tohma gently touched the other singer by the forearm, adverting his attention.
"Are you going to be alright?" Shuichi blinked. Was Tohma actually concerned? About him?
"I...yes. Just...are you sure? I don't know. I didn't-"
"You worry too much, Shindou-san," Tohma interjected, once again smiling with that 'I-know-everything' smile. "Do you have somewhere to stay? I promise to speak with him as soon as I am able."
"Hiro-"
"Stay?" Ryuichi glanced up from Kumagoro. "Shuichi needs a house? What happened to your old one, Na No Da? I liked it." Shuichi tried to laught, but all he could manage was a half-smile.
"Nothing happened to it, Sakuma-san. I just...I can't stay there right now."
"Oh." There was quiet, and suddenly, the metaphorical light bulb busted Ryuichi in the head. "Kumagoru says there's room at our house, Na No Da. Wanna come?" Shuichi glanced between him and Tohma, doubletaking at the blonde's arched eyebrow.
Tohma was certainly acting peculiar.
"I don't think...Hiro said...I..." Shuichi looked at Tohma, and he could have sworn he'd shrugged his shoulders.
"Fun!" Ryuichi slammed Kumagoru into Shuichi's head. "Fun, Shuichi, Na No Da!" He clutched his ear, wincing where the rabbit's hardened eyes had caught him.
"Well...I suppose I could...I mean...as long as I called Hiro and...is it alright?" He directed his question towards Tohma, and the blonde shook his head.
"I don't make decisions for him." Shuichi peered at Ryuichi, noticing the pleading look in his eyes as they glimmered innocently at him, and the pink-haired singer gave in, nodding his head, though somewhat reluctant to be pulled along as Ryuichi dragged him towards the parking lot belonging to NG.
Perhaps the day wasn't so bad after all despite what had happened.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hi!
It's me again!
I read your message. Kumagoru said that it was Shuichi, but I asked him. He said no. Okay, okay. Kumagoru says he didn't say anything. I suppose he's right.
Shuichi's been sad. He was crying today when we went to sing. Kumagoru tried to make him feel better, but he didn't like it.
Shut up, Kumagoru! You know he didn't...
I had to put Kumagoru under the couch. Oh, yeah. We're watching a movie. Me and Shuichi. He's staying because his old house is bad. I wonder if he made a mess in it. Maybe. Shuichi had been very quiet since Tohma brought us.
SHH!
I know. It's not nice to make fun. Especially if it's Shuichi. Shuichi is fun. Not the make fun of kind of fun, though. Shuichi is smart. He likes to dance and make music with me and Kumagoru.
Shuichi is all the fun in the world. Which is alot because Kumagoru and I know bunches. There are probably too many to count. I wouldn't have enough fingers to keep them on.
Kumagoru is yelling at me. He says I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm glad Shuichi isn't listening. He might cry again. That would be bad. I don't like it when Shuichi cries. I don't like it when anyone cries. It makes me feel sad.
Do you feel sad? Have you cried because you still miss your paper- friends? I'm sorry. Kumagoru says that we will do a good job of making you happy. Fill you up with lots of pretty stuff.
It's not so bad. We'll have fun. Shuichi's here. He'll have fun with us, too, because Shuichi needs fun. He-
"I think...I'm going to go to bed now, Sakuma-san," Shuichi abruptly whispered, halting Ryuichi's in-the-dark writing, the glow of the TV his only light. He glanced up.
"But..." He pouted. "That's no fun, Shuichi, Na No Da." Ryuichi stuck his hand between the cushions and pulled up the lint-covered Kumagoru. "Kuma-chan says that Shuichi needs to stay up more!" Shuichi smiled.
"I wish I could, but K-san expects everyone at the studio early, tomorrow, and I'm...kind of tired."
"Oh." Ryuichi contemplated, almost chewing on the pen he was writing with until Kumagoru reminded him not to. Sometimes, Ryuichi was very forgetful. The pink-haired youth smiled at him and stood, arms reaching for the ceiling in a stretch, and Ryiuchi watched, eyes slightly narrowed. Shuichi hadn't had any clothes with him when he'd gotten there, and Ryuichi had happily supplied him with many of his favorite, though he'd only needed one, unaware of the effects it would have on him. He'd never really been attracted to anyone he actually respected as a friend, but with Shuichi standing there, slim stomach exposed due to the skimpy blue top and low- slung shorts slowly slipping over his hipbones, Ryuichi suddenly felt...something. He wasn't sure how to describe it, but he knew, to the very depths of his ancient soul, that it was wrong. "Kumagoru and Ryuichi will sleep then, too!" He got up, collecting the ragged notebook and his stuffed rabbit in one hand while grabbing Shuichi's wrist with the other. "Come on...this way, Na No Da!"
Ryuichi swurved down the hallway, socked feet half-sliding on the wooden floor.
Ryuichi's house was actually an apartment. A very big, expensive, complete with everything he'd ever wanted apartment. The walls were decorated with framed photos, mostly of Nittle Grapser and people he personally didn't know, and random scribbles of crayon on certain corners.
Shuichi grabbed his head, moaning at the sudden rush of swirling shapes flying past him. He couldn't figure out why he'd agreed to any of this. He didn't think he could handle much more.
Ryuichi suddenly stopped, and Shuichi smacked into him.
"Sakuma-san..." He was holding his nose, but Ryuichi was too occupied with opening the door and juggling the stuff in his arms to pay any attention.
"This is Kumagoru's room." Ryuichi kicked the door open after he turned the knob. "But...he said he can share."
"T-thank you." Ryuichi leapt into the room, throwing the things he carried into a chair facing one of the many windows, except Kumagoru. He held the bunny out to Shuichi.
"You can borrow him, Na No Da. Kumagoru keeps all the bad things away." Shuichi reluctantly took it.
"But what about you?" Ryuichi laughed.
"Silly Shuichi. I'll be fine, Na No Da." Ryuichi skipped back to the door, smiling. "Sleepy sleep, Shuichi!" And, he shut Shuichi in the room, holding Kumagoru and standing mournfully in the dark.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"No...please...d-don't hang up. I-" There was a sob. "Say something! I know you're listening." More crying. "I'm sorry. How many times do I...No! Seguchi-san said he would talk...I didn't. Why won't you listen to me?" Some shifting on the bed. "I want to come home. Please...no...don't...I'm begging-" A scream of frustration. "Stop. Stop it! Why do you have to be...I didn't do anything. Tell me why!" Something hitting something else. "I love you...don't...sonofa-"
The crying continued, and Ryuichi slunk away from the door, forgetting that he'd wanted to get his diary so that he could finish writing in it.
He shouldn't have left it in there.
Almost angrily, he fled into his bedroom, fingers grabbing the marker placed carefully on his dresser before he crouched next to the wall, hands already scribbling upon it.
Just what, exactly, was going on?
TBC-
Turn Two: Lost and Lost Some More
Shuichi had written it.
That was the first thought in Ryuichi's head. In fact, that was the only thought in Ryuichi's head. He couldn't speak or move. His body refused to work, and his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Kumagoru slowly slipped from the safe place in the singer's pocket, spilling its rabbit pinkness onto the bland carpet of Tohma's office, but Ryuichi didn't even notice that his stuffed companion had left his side. His ragged, moss-green seemed to droop in the melting light of the room, the sun was already beginning to set, and those slender fingers clutching the twisted spine and slightly bent pages trembled convulsively.
I like shiny things, too.
Shuichi had written it.
Will you be my friend?
Shuichi had written it.
Shuichi had written it.
Hadn't he?
Ryuichi slid his nose along the kanji-decorated paper, lips pressed gingerly to it. He inhaled, a faint edible smell filling his lungs and flooding him with relief. Shuichi was all over the notebook. He licked at the whiteness, and he smiled. There was just a hint of Tohma, too. Shuichi was strawberry, fluffy and creamy like the stuff he and Kumagoru shared in the morning at breakfast. Tohma was spicy vanilla from one of those little bottles that shimmered green when he played with it. He eyed the words again, just to be certain.
I like shiny things, too. Will you be my friend?
Shuich must have written it.
Or Tohma.
Ryuichi nodded happily, having convinced himself, and he tucked the already rugged diary-slash-journal under his arm before spinning around to leave. His sneaker squished Kumagoru, nearly mutilating those lovable rabbit features, and Ryuichi didn't hesitate to grab the lonely bunny by the ear, dragging him up into his embrace only to be stuffed back into the pocket he had fallen from. The singer was currently distracted by the curious thoughts floating in his head, and Tohma was waiting to take him home, too.
"Vroom, vroom, Kumagoru! Let's go, Na No Da!"
Ryuichi was unaware of the invisible tears of sadness slipping from beady black eyes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
NG's foyer was amazingly quiet by the time Tohma and Ryuichi had ventured there, and the blonde waited patiently for the other to finish "accidentally" sliding across the well-waxed linoleum before heading to the exit. It was difficult not to smile and be stern when Ryuichi did something that childish, and Tohma shook his head, hands resting carefully in his pockets until the singer had expended most of his energy. Ryuichi latched on to him.
"TOHMA, Na No Da!" A grin was plastered to his face. "Home! Home, Na No Da. Are we going? Are we?" He nodded, and the vocalist ran excitedly to the push-and-pull door, shoving his way through to the outside. The sun was barely visible due to the clouds hiding its sinking face, but the singer enjoyed the cool breeze caressing his skin, his body itching to move despite Tohma's slow descent from on-high. Voices alerted him to someone else's presence other than his blonde-haired friend, but Ryuichi was too absorbed by the petite butterfly fluttering past him to notice the sobs or pink filling the air. He watched it curiously for a moment, intrigued by its lack of color and rather sudden appearance, but the hand on his shoulder returned him to the other reality, the one he hadn't created. Ryuichi immediately spotted Shuichi, who was kicking at the concrete with his tennis shoe, face red and stained with tears, and he errupted into a rambling, completely ignoring Tohma. "SHUICHI!" The older singer lept at him but was surprisingly avoided when Shuichi stepped to the side.
"Hello," he muttered, obviously unhappy. Ryuichi recovered from the plunge into a nearby bush with ease and tried latching onto the other's leg.
"Kumagoru and Ryuichi LOVE Shuichi," he belted out, slapping at the slender hands attempting to push him away. "Sing, Na No Da?"
"Now isn't the time." Tohma smiled. "Ryuichi-san."
"Ohh!" Ryuichi sprang to his feet, forcing Shuichi to stare at him. A blush awkwardly spread across the younger man's face. "Shuichi's been crying. What's wrong, Na No Da?" He wrapped his arms around his body and shivered. "Sick? Headache? Does your stomach hurt, Shuichi, Na No Da?" Ryuichi moved to poke him, but Shuichi took a step back.
"N-no...I..." The pink-haired singer glanced nervously at Tohma, who was still smiling like he knew something no one else knew. As a matter of fact, he probably did. "Are you sure it's okay? I mean..." He sputtered, unsure of himself.
"Relax," Tohma commanded, uncharacteristic of his usual stoic, uncaring demeanor. "Everything is under control."
"But he-" Tohma eyed him sternly.
"I'll take care of everything."
"I..." Shuichi lowered his head in defeat. "Alright." After a moment, he muttered a weak thank you, avoiding the other's piercing gaze, and Ryuichi, as always, remained oblivious to the seemingly coded conversation. He tightened his hold on Shuichi by twining his arms around his shoulders, practically hanging on him like he was a human blanket. Shuichi staggered, already inept at supporting his own weight most of the time, and he barely managed to keep from falling. Tohma's sharp command verbally slapped the elder singer in the face.
Ryuichi knew he was being bad when Tohma lost his temper.
"Sorry, Na No Da."
"No, it's okay. I...you're just a little too heavy for me to carry." Ryuichi clapped his hands, pulling Kumagoru from his pants.
"Kumagoru says you're funny, Shuichi. Kumagoru also says that Ryuichi isn't that heavy, Na No Da." He stuck the rabbit in Shuichi's face. "See?"
"I...yeah..." Ryuichi immediately lost himself in a conversation with Kumagoru about whether or not Shuichi was actually funny, and Tohma gently touched the other singer by the forearm, adverting his attention.
"Are you going to be alright?" Shuichi blinked. Was Tohma actually concerned? About him?
"I...yes. Just...are you sure? I don't know. I didn't-"
"You worry too much, Shindou-san," Tohma interjected, once again smiling with that 'I-know-everything' smile. "Do you have somewhere to stay? I promise to speak with him as soon as I am able."
"Hiro-"
"Stay?" Ryuichi glanced up from Kumagoro. "Shuichi needs a house? What happened to your old one, Na No Da? I liked it." Shuichi tried to laught, but all he could manage was a half-smile.
"Nothing happened to it, Sakuma-san. I just...I can't stay there right now."
"Oh." There was quiet, and suddenly, the metaphorical light bulb busted Ryuichi in the head. "Kumagoru says there's room at our house, Na No Da. Wanna come?" Shuichi glanced between him and Tohma, doubletaking at the blonde's arched eyebrow.
Tohma was certainly acting peculiar.
"I don't think...Hiro said...I..." Shuichi looked at Tohma, and he could have sworn he'd shrugged his shoulders.
"Fun!" Ryuichi slammed Kumagoru into Shuichi's head. "Fun, Shuichi, Na No Da!" He clutched his ear, wincing where the rabbit's hardened eyes had caught him.
"Well...I suppose I could...I mean...as long as I called Hiro and...is it alright?" He directed his question towards Tohma, and the blonde shook his head.
"I don't make decisions for him." Shuichi peered at Ryuichi, noticing the pleading look in his eyes as they glimmered innocently at him, and the pink-haired singer gave in, nodding his head, though somewhat reluctant to be pulled along as Ryuichi dragged him towards the parking lot belonging to NG.
Perhaps the day wasn't so bad after all despite what had happened.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hi!
It's me again!
I read your message. Kumagoru said that it was Shuichi, but I asked him. He said no. Okay, okay. Kumagoru says he didn't say anything. I suppose he's right.
Shuichi's been sad. He was crying today when we went to sing. Kumagoru tried to make him feel better, but he didn't like it.
Shut up, Kumagoru! You know he didn't...
I had to put Kumagoru under the couch. Oh, yeah. We're watching a movie. Me and Shuichi. He's staying because his old house is bad. I wonder if he made a mess in it. Maybe. Shuichi had been very quiet since Tohma brought us.
SHH!
I know. It's not nice to make fun. Especially if it's Shuichi. Shuichi is fun. Not the make fun of kind of fun, though. Shuichi is smart. He likes to dance and make music with me and Kumagoru.
Shuichi is all the fun in the world. Which is alot because Kumagoru and I know bunches. There are probably too many to count. I wouldn't have enough fingers to keep them on.
Kumagoru is yelling at me. He says I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm glad Shuichi isn't listening. He might cry again. That would be bad. I don't like it when Shuichi cries. I don't like it when anyone cries. It makes me feel sad.
Do you feel sad? Have you cried because you still miss your paper- friends? I'm sorry. Kumagoru says that we will do a good job of making you happy. Fill you up with lots of pretty stuff.
It's not so bad. We'll have fun. Shuichi's here. He'll have fun with us, too, because Shuichi needs fun. He-
"I think...I'm going to go to bed now, Sakuma-san," Shuichi abruptly whispered, halting Ryuichi's in-the-dark writing, the glow of the TV his only light. He glanced up.
"But..." He pouted. "That's no fun, Shuichi, Na No Da." Ryuichi stuck his hand between the cushions and pulled up the lint-covered Kumagoru. "Kuma-chan says that Shuichi needs to stay up more!" Shuichi smiled.
"I wish I could, but K-san expects everyone at the studio early, tomorrow, and I'm...kind of tired."
"Oh." Ryuichi contemplated, almost chewing on the pen he was writing with until Kumagoru reminded him not to. Sometimes, Ryuichi was very forgetful. The pink-haired youth smiled at him and stood, arms reaching for the ceiling in a stretch, and Ryiuchi watched, eyes slightly narrowed. Shuichi hadn't had any clothes with him when he'd gotten there, and Ryuichi had happily supplied him with many of his favorite, though he'd only needed one, unaware of the effects it would have on him. He'd never really been attracted to anyone he actually respected as a friend, but with Shuichi standing there, slim stomach exposed due to the skimpy blue top and low- slung shorts slowly slipping over his hipbones, Ryuichi suddenly felt...something. He wasn't sure how to describe it, but he knew, to the very depths of his ancient soul, that it was wrong. "Kumagoru and Ryuichi will sleep then, too!" He got up, collecting the ragged notebook and his stuffed rabbit in one hand while grabbing Shuichi's wrist with the other. "Come on...this way, Na No Da!"
Ryuichi swurved down the hallway, socked feet half-sliding on the wooden floor.
Ryuichi's house was actually an apartment. A very big, expensive, complete with everything he'd ever wanted apartment. The walls were decorated with framed photos, mostly of Nittle Grapser and people he personally didn't know, and random scribbles of crayon on certain corners.
Shuichi grabbed his head, moaning at the sudden rush of swirling shapes flying past him. He couldn't figure out why he'd agreed to any of this. He didn't think he could handle much more.
Ryuichi suddenly stopped, and Shuichi smacked into him.
"Sakuma-san..." He was holding his nose, but Ryuichi was too occupied with opening the door and juggling the stuff in his arms to pay any attention.
"This is Kumagoru's room." Ryuichi kicked the door open after he turned the knob. "But...he said he can share."
"T-thank you." Ryuichi leapt into the room, throwing the things he carried into a chair facing one of the many windows, except Kumagoru. He held the bunny out to Shuichi.
"You can borrow him, Na No Da. Kumagoru keeps all the bad things away." Shuichi reluctantly took it.
"But what about you?" Ryuichi laughed.
"Silly Shuichi. I'll be fine, Na No Da." Ryuichi skipped back to the door, smiling. "Sleepy sleep, Shuichi!" And, he shut Shuichi in the room, holding Kumagoru and standing mournfully in the dark.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"No...please...d-don't hang up. I-" There was a sob. "Say something! I know you're listening." More crying. "I'm sorry. How many times do I...No! Seguchi-san said he would talk...I didn't. Why won't you listen to me?" Some shifting on the bed. "I want to come home. Please...no...don't...I'm begging-" A scream of frustration. "Stop. Stop it! Why do you have to be...I didn't do anything. Tell me why!" Something hitting something else. "I love you...don't...sonofa-"
The crying continued, and Ryuichi slunk away from the door, forgetting that he'd wanted to get his diary so that he could finish writing in it.
He shouldn't have left it in there.
Almost angrily, he fled into his bedroom, fingers grabbing the marker placed carefully on his dresser before he crouched next to the wall, hands already scribbling upon it.
Just what, exactly, was going on?
TBC-