Forget God
We ended our watch on separate parts of the ship. That day my mood was low and I kept to myself as much as I could. By night I was in my hammock, feeling sick with too many thoughts. When someone would ask me what was wrong, I replied in truth, "My stomach."
"Go see Doctor Maturin," someone told me.
I got up and went to him. He asked what I had eaten that day, and found nothing wrong with the food. He suspected I had had too much to drink and told me to go back to bed. I did so and was allowed to skip my watch that night.
The next night I was all right again and back on my watch. Peter appeared late.
"I was at the bow," he said as he stood by me.
"Peter..."
"Uhmm?"
"Forget God," I said.
He stared at me in shock. I had spoken against God, but I had no regret for it. I had thought my words over the last night, and prayed much. I felt fine about my words for I had asked God's forgiveness for what I wanted. There had been no evil response, and I knew I was being allowed to go on.
Peter could not speak to me more that night and again we ended our watch apart.