FOUR
"One Daily Double is on the board in one of these categories," Trebek told the contestants, "Monarchs...Comic Book Supervillains...Network Slogans and Graphics...Extinct Animals...Infamous Hurricanes...and The Los Angeles Freeway System. Oliver, you get to start."
"I'll take Extinct Animals for $800," Oliver told him.
"May, may I make a suggestion for you," Adrian broke in before Trebek could read the answer, "Why not start with one of the corner values?"
Oliver groaned at this intrusion. "All right pal, why would that be necessary for you?" he demanded.
"Well, I just think that where you're starting is...well...asymmetrical," Adrian pointed out, "I mean, there's no logic in starting right in the middle of the board. In a corner, you could go smoothly either horizontally or vertically, see what I'm saying?"
"Sure, I see what you're saying," Oliver said smarmily. Then he turned back to Trebek and repeated, "Extinct Animals for $800, Alex."
In the audience, Stottlemeyer chuckled to the others. "Well, enjoy it now folks, because in a minute Monk's going to get buried alive," he said, "I'd be surprised if he makes it to the first commercial break."
"My feelings exactly, sir," Disher said, clearly sucking up to his boss.
"I think he'll prove the two of you quite wrong in the end," Monica said confidently.
"Miss Waters, you don't really know Monk's other..." Stottlemeyer started to say, but Karen silenced him as Trebek began reading the clue: "Many believe that this extinct creature, which is not really a dinosaur, is the Loch Ness Monster. Adrian?"
"Alex, I really...the audience is getting to me, could we tape this backstage?" Adrian asked again. Trebek ignored the request. "Adrian, do you have the answer to the question?" the host asked him.
"Oh, what is the plesiosaur, now could we please get rid of the audience, Alex?" Adrian waved his arms around uncomfortably.
"Uh, no Adrian, we can't get rid of the audience, but yes, that is correct, you now have control," Trebek said.
"No he doesn't!" Diane spoke up, "I saw his ticker expire; he answered after it went off!"
"Uh, judges?" Trebek turned to the three-person panel just offstage. There was a hushed consultation between them before the head judge turned and gave Trebek thumbs up. "It appears you just did get in under the gun, Adrian, so control does indeed rest in your hands," he told the former detective.
"Hmm," Adrian studied the board carefully, "This is going to be tricky. I mean, I can't really go in any pattern now that he took one right in the middle of the board."
"Well sorry I ruined your day, pal!" Oliver snorted down to him, "If I could take it back for you I would!"
"Would you? That would be so nice, thank you." Adrian said.
"He's being sarcastic, dipstick!" Diane whispered in his ear, "Now just pick something, anything! I'm not going to be here all night!"
"You won't be, I'm normally in bed by ten anyway," Adrian told her out loud. Diane rolled her eyes.
In the control, Sam was now a whirling dervish at Adrian's inactivity. "Somebody tell Alex to tell him to get going!" he hissed to everyone on stage, "We're on a tight schedule as it is!"
"What's the rush, Sam?" the switcher asked him, "We're not under any..."
"Because I say we have to get it done now!" Sam shot quickly at him, "I have a good reason, now get that fool going!"
"Okay," Adrian was finally collecting himself, "I guess I'll go with Extinct Animals for $1,000, but you do realize it's not going to be even, Alex."
Trebek gave Adrian a strange look. "The last North American vertebrate to become extinct, the last member of this species disappeared in 1987," he read the clue. "Adrian?"
"What is the dusky seaside sparrow, now can we please...?"
"Right, pick again."
"Okay, um, Extinct Animals for, oh, $200."
"The last passenger pigeon was named this, after the nation's first First Lady. Adrian?"
"What is Martha."
"Right."
"Extinct Animals for $400," Adrian now had his eyes tightly shut so that he couldn't see the audience.
"This Alaskan species sadly became extinct from overhunting just over twenty years after its discovery. Adrian?"
"What is Stellar's sea cow."
"Correct."
"Extinct Animals for $600."
"This relative of the zebra, with stripes only on its rear, became extinct in 1883. Adrian?"
"What is the quagga."
"Exactly."
Adrian opened his eyes briefly to study the board. "Um, I guess Infamous Hurricanes for $200's the best ticket," he said.
"At first meteorologists paid little attention to this storm. But when it slammed into Florida in 1992, the cleanup crews certainly did. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane Andrew."
"Right."
"Infamous Hurricanes for $400."
"As one of only four hurricanes in the twentieth century to reach the maximum wind speed of 180 miles per hour, it tore apart the Caribbean in September of 1988 before slamming into the Mexican coast just south of Brownsville. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane Gilbert."
"Right."
"Infamous Hurricanes for $600."
"One of the most celebrated of twentieth century hurricanes, this Category 4 level storm in 1900 all but destroyed this Texas city. Adrian?"
"What is Galveston."
"A hurricane in Galveston, right."
"Infamous hurricanes for $800."
"In 1954 this rare major October hurricane carved a path of destruction all the way up the east coast into Canada. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane Hazel."
"Indeed it was."
"Infamous hurricanes for $1,000."
"The first male-named hurricane to have its name retired, in 1979. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane David."
"Correct."
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $200."
"It's called the San Diego Freeway, even though it never comes close to that city. Adrian?"
"What is Interstate 405."
"Right."
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $400."
"The Glenn Anderson Freeway, the most recently completed L.A. freeway, also goes by this name. Adrian?"
"What is the Century Freeway."
"Right."
"Okay, tell Alex that we're going to commercial after the next question," Sam instructed the people in the studio. He glanced at his watch. He was still right on time...
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $600."
"One of the three names given to Interstate 10 during its course through L.A. Adrian?"
"What are the Redlands Freeway, San Bernardino Freeway, and Santa Monica Freeway."
"We only needed one, Adrian, but all three are correct, and that brings your total to $7,200, with your opponents yet to get on the board, but the game is still early, and a lot can still happen. We'll take a short break and learn some more about our contestants after these messages." Adrian breathed big sigh of relief; the audience was almost unbearable now.
In the audience, Monica leaned over Stottlemeyer's shoulder. "So, you were saying about Adrian folding like a cheap tent?" she inquired.
"All right, I spoke too soon Miss Waters, so kill me!" Stottlemeyer said.
"Actually, I think he's doing better than any of us planned," Gail commented, "I mean, those are high-caliber players out there."
"Well he should still be careful," Disher said, "Because if he isn't he might hit a Bankrupt, and that would be bad."
"The Bankrupt's on Wheel of Fortune," Benjy told him.
"Uh, I knew that."
"I'd better go have a word with him," Sharona rose to her feet.
"So would I, Sharona, "Dr. Kroger followed her down. Their patient was scrubbing down his name screen with the wipe. "So Adrian, you doing OK so far?" his nurse asked him.
"Great, Sharona, but this stain here's pretty pesky, don't know why I didn't notice it before..."
"Adrian," Dr. Kroger put a hand on his shoulder, "Would you like us to do something about the audience for you?"
"Yes, Doctor, can you go outside and...?"
"Adrian, we can't leave, but if you like, I could have them put up a scrim or something so that you can't see them," Dr. Kroger offered.
"You can't do that, bub!" Dave the cameraman shouted from nearby, "I won't be able to get my shot right if he's blocked off by a scrim!"
"Oh just let them!" Diane shouted at him, "Anything to get him to stop whining and let us play the game!"
"You know I don't like the way you're treating him!" Sharona rounded on Adrian's fellow contestant.
"Oh what're you going to do, beat me up if I don't stop?" Diane challenged her.
"You, you don't want to get her mad," Adrian pointed out to his neighbor, "Sharona's like, well, a Doberman with rabies if the people she cares for get hurt. She threatened to strip a bully who was picking on her son naked and hang him from the top of the Pyramid if he didn't..."
Sharona was now giving him a look that told him to end the conversation. Sharona gave Diane a parting glare before heading back to her seat. "And you know the rest," he finished.
"Oh well, it doesn't matter," Oliver spoke up, "I've come from behind three of my four shows so far, so watch yourself, Adrian, because I'll be breathing right down your neck by the next commercial break."
"Uh, do you mean that figuratively or literally?" Adrian asked, concerned.
"Whatever makes you crack more," Oliver retorted. Adrian didn't like the sound of that.
"Well gentlemen, I'd say our good friend Mr. Monk is doing fabulous so far, don't you?" Beiderbeck asked his associates.
"Ah, I'd only call it so-so," Dexter snorted, "These questions are too easy."
"So you know about that dusk sparrow or whatever the one question was, smart guy?" Stokes grilled him.
"Well, maybe not THAT one, but most of them are things any sane human being would know," Dexter said in defense.
"So you're saying we're not sane!?" Van Rankin said, "That you're above us!?"
"No I'm not, Pat, you know..."
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," Beiderbeck held up his hand, "We will not descend into petty fighting today. Today is our celebration day of Adrian Monk's death, and I won't let our little coalition fall apart because some of you think you're smarter than others."
"Well some of us ARE smarter than the others, Dale," Ashcomb said, "And don't give us any of that presidential talk about...."
"Hey Harry, was that directed at me!?" Babbage yelled at him, "Mr. Ramps-in-the-Road? All you did was make a phony phone call and find some metal; it took me three months to build those bombs!"
"Well at least I was smart enough not to get myself knocked unconscious, stupid!" Ashcomb retorted. A general quarrel broke out among the convicts over their IQ levels. Beiderbeck rolled his eyes in disgust at his partners' thickness. He glanced over at the clock again: 7:38:43....
"One Daily Double is on the board in one of these categories," Trebek told the contestants, "Monarchs...Comic Book Supervillains...Network Slogans and Graphics...Extinct Animals...Infamous Hurricanes...and The Los Angeles Freeway System. Oliver, you get to start."
"I'll take Extinct Animals for $800," Oliver told him.
"May, may I make a suggestion for you," Adrian broke in before Trebek could read the answer, "Why not start with one of the corner values?"
Oliver groaned at this intrusion. "All right pal, why would that be necessary for you?" he demanded.
"Well, I just think that where you're starting is...well...asymmetrical," Adrian pointed out, "I mean, there's no logic in starting right in the middle of the board. In a corner, you could go smoothly either horizontally or vertically, see what I'm saying?"
"Sure, I see what you're saying," Oliver said smarmily. Then he turned back to Trebek and repeated, "Extinct Animals for $800, Alex."
In the audience, Stottlemeyer chuckled to the others. "Well, enjoy it now folks, because in a minute Monk's going to get buried alive," he said, "I'd be surprised if he makes it to the first commercial break."
"My feelings exactly, sir," Disher said, clearly sucking up to his boss.
"I think he'll prove the two of you quite wrong in the end," Monica said confidently.
"Miss Waters, you don't really know Monk's other..." Stottlemeyer started to say, but Karen silenced him as Trebek began reading the clue: "Many believe that this extinct creature, which is not really a dinosaur, is the Loch Ness Monster. Adrian?"
"Alex, I really...the audience is getting to me, could we tape this backstage?" Adrian asked again. Trebek ignored the request. "Adrian, do you have the answer to the question?" the host asked him.
"Oh, what is the plesiosaur, now could we please get rid of the audience, Alex?" Adrian waved his arms around uncomfortably.
"Uh, no Adrian, we can't get rid of the audience, but yes, that is correct, you now have control," Trebek said.
"No he doesn't!" Diane spoke up, "I saw his ticker expire; he answered after it went off!"
"Uh, judges?" Trebek turned to the three-person panel just offstage. There was a hushed consultation between them before the head judge turned and gave Trebek thumbs up. "It appears you just did get in under the gun, Adrian, so control does indeed rest in your hands," he told the former detective.
"Hmm," Adrian studied the board carefully, "This is going to be tricky. I mean, I can't really go in any pattern now that he took one right in the middle of the board."
"Well sorry I ruined your day, pal!" Oliver snorted down to him, "If I could take it back for you I would!"
"Would you? That would be so nice, thank you." Adrian said.
"He's being sarcastic, dipstick!" Diane whispered in his ear, "Now just pick something, anything! I'm not going to be here all night!"
"You won't be, I'm normally in bed by ten anyway," Adrian told her out loud. Diane rolled her eyes.
In the control, Sam was now a whirling dervish at Adrian's inactivity. "Somebody tell Alex to tell him to get going!" he hissed to everyone on stage, "We're on a tight schedule as it is!"
"What's the rush, Sam?" the switcher asked him, "We're not under any..."
"Because I say we have to get it done now!" Sam shot quickly at him, "I have a good reason, now get that fool going!"
"Okay," Adrian was finally collecting himself, "I guess I'll go with Extinct Animals for $1,000, but you do realize it's not going to be even, Alex."
Trebek gave Adrian a strange look. "The last North American vertebrate to become extinct, the last member of this species disappeared in 1987," he read the clue. "Adrian?"
"What is the dusky seaside sparrow, now can we please...?"
"Right, pick again."
"Okay, um, Extinct Animals for, oh, $200."
"The last passenger pigeon was named this, after the nation's first First Lady. Adrian?"
"What is Martha."
"Right."
"Extinct Animals for $400," Adrian now had his eyes tightly shut so that he couldn't see the audience.
"This Alaskan species sadly became extinct from overhunting just over twenty years after its discovery. Adrian?"
"What is Stellar's sea cow."
"Correct."
"Extinct Animals for $600."
"This relative of the zebra, with stripes only on its rear, became extinct in 1883. Adrian?"
"What is the quagga."
"Exactly."
Adrian opened his eyes briefly to study the board. "Um, I guess Infamous Hurricanes for $200's the best ticket," he said.
"At first meteorologists paid little attention to this storm. But when it slammed into Florida in 1992, the cleanup crews certainly did. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane Andrew."
"Right."
"Infamous Hurricanes for $400."
"As one of only four hurricanes in the twentieth century to reach the maximum wind speed of 180 miles per hour, it tore apart the Caribbean in September of 1988 before slamming into the Mexican coast just south of Brownsville. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane Gilbert."
"Right."
"Infamous Hurricanes for $600."
"One of the most celebrated of twentieth century hurricanes, this Category 4 level storm in 1900 all but destroyed this Texas city. Adrian?"
"What is Galveston."
"A hurricane in Galveston, right."
"Infamous hurricanes for $800."
"In 1954 this rare major October hurricane carved a path of destruction all the way up the east coast into Canada. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane Hazel."
"Indeed it was."
"Infamous hurricanes for $1,000."
"The first male-named hurricane to have its name retired, in 1979. Adrian?"
"What was Hurricane David."
"Correct."
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $200."
"It's called the San Diego Freeway, even though it never comes close to that city. Adrian?"
"What is Interstate 405."
"Right."
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $400."
"The Glenn Anderson Freeway, the most recently completed L.A. freeway, also goes by this name. Adrian?"
"What is the Century Freeway."
"Right."
"Okay, tell Alex that we're going to commercial after the next question," Sam instructed the people in the studio. He glanced at his watch. He was still right on time...
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $600."
"One of the three names given to Interstate 10 during its course through L.A. Adrian?"
"What are the Redlands Freeway, San Bernardino Freeway, and Santa Monica Freeway."
"We only needed one, Adrian, but all three are correct, and that brings your total to $7,200, with your opponents yet to get on the board, but the game is still early, and a lot can still happen. We'll take a short break and learn some more about our contestants after these messages." Adrian breathed big sigh of relief; the audience was almost unbearable now.
In the audience, Monica leaned over Stottlemeyer's shoulder. "So, you were saying about Adrian folding like a cheap tent?" she inquired.
"All right, I spoke too soon Miss Waters, so kill me!" Stottlemeyer said.
"Actually, I think he's doing better than any of us planned," Gail commented, "I mean, those are high-caliber players out there."
"Well he should still be careful," Disher said, "Because if he isn't he might hit a Bankrupt, and that would be bad."
"The Bankrupt's on Wheel of Fortune," Benjy told him.
"Uh, I knew that."
"I'd better go have a word with him," Sharona rose to her feet.
"So would I, Sharona, "Dr. Kroger followed her down. Their patient was scrubbing down his name screen with the wipe. "So Adrian, you doing OK so far?" his nurse asked him.
"Great, Sharona, but this stain here's pretty pesky, don't know why I didn't notice it before..."
"Adrian," Dr. Kroger put a hand on his shoulder, "Would you like us to do something about the audience for you?"
"Yes, Doctor, can you go outside and...?"
"Adrian, we can't leave, but if you like, I could have them put up a scrim or something so that you can't see them," Dr. Kroger offered.
"You can't do that, bub!" Dave the cameraman shouted from nearby, "I won't be able to get my shot right if he's blocked off by a scrim!"
"Oh just let them!" Diane shouted at him, "Anything to get him to stop whining and let us play the game!"
"You know I don't like the way you're treating him!" Sharona rounded on Adrian's fellow contestant.
"Oh what're you going to do, beat me up if I don't stop?" Diane challenged her.
"You, you don't want to get her mad," Adrian pointed out to his neighbor, "Sharona's like, well, a Doberman with rabies if the people she cares for get hurt. She threatened to strip a bully who was picking on her son naked and hang him from the top of the Pyramid if he didn't..."
Sharona was now giving him a look that told him to end the conversation. Sharona gave Diane a parting glare before heading back to her seat. "And you know the rest," he finished.
"Oh well, it doesn't matter," Oliver spoke up, "I've come from behind three of my four shows so far, so watch yourself, Adrian, because I'll be breathing right down your neck by the next commercial break."
"Uh, do you mean that figuratively or literally?" Adrian asked, concerned.
"Whatever makes you crack more," Oliver retorted. Adrian didn't like the sound of that.
"Well gentlemen, I'd say our good friend Mr. Monk is doing fabulous so far, don't you?" Beiderbeck asked his associates.
"Ah, I'd only call it so-so," Dexter snorted, "These questions are too easy."
"So you know about that dusk sparrow or whatever the one question was, smart guy?" Stokes grilled him.
"Well, maybe not THAT one, but most of them are things any sane human being would know," Dexter said in defense.
"So you're saying we're not sane!?" Van Rankin said, "That you're above us!?"
"No I'm not, Pat, you know..."
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," Beiderbeck held up his hand, "We will not descend into petty fighting today. Today is our celebration day of Adrian Monk's death, and I won't let our little coalition fall apart because some of you think you're smarter than others."
"Well some of us ARE smarter than the others, Dale," Ashcomb said, "And don't give us any of that presidential talk about...."
"Hey Harry, was that directed at me!?" Babbage yelled at him, "Mr. Ramps-in-the-Road? All you did was make a phony phone call and find some metal; it took me three months to build those bombs!"
"Well at least I was smart enough not to get myself knocked unconscious, stupid!" Ashcomb retorted. A general quarrel broke out among the convicts over their IQ levels. Beiderbeck rolled his eyes in disgust at his partners' thickness. He glanced over at the clock again: 7:38:43....