DIsclaimer: I do not own. Sorry.

Warning: Not edited.

KALEIDOSCOPE

Chapter Four: Memory Lane Express

Shuichi yawned when he sat up, blinking away the sleep in his eyes as he peered around. He was at Hiro's place, in Hiro's bed, wrapped in Hiro's blanket.

He loved this.

The singer stretched, reaching his arms up to curl them in the curtains draped over the windows. The sun was shining brightly, and almost everything seemed right...until he remembered why he was there.

Eiri didn't want him anymore.

Ryuichi had nearly attacked him.

His life was hopeless.

"It's about time you woke up," a voice spoke, and Shuichi turned his head, finding Hiro leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and looking at him. Shuichi immediately stopped playing with the curtains.

"Hiro..." The redhead dropped his arms to his sides.

"What is it?"

"Well..." Shuichi looked at his lap. "I'm sorry." He suddenly felt the urge to cry.

"For what? Shuichi-"

"I...I've been so stupid, Hiro. Why did I ever think he could love me?!" This time, he did sob, tears streaming down his face. The singer hid his weakness against the palms of his hands. Hiro immediately went to him, sitting on the edge of his bed before gathering the shaking Shuichi against him in a tight hug.

"What happened? You can tell me," he prompted, patting his back lightly.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to." Watery lavender eyes glanced up at him. "I love Yuki. I love him. I love him more than...more than Bad Luck! I didn't mean to, Hiro! I swear."

"Didn't mean to what?" Shuichi only continued to babble.

"He was there, and I didn't know. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. He's angry with me. He's SO mad." He hiccupped. "I don't want Yuki to get hurt. Who's going to take care of him? Make sure he eats right and doesn't drink too much or smoke a lot or...or..." Shuichi wailed and hid his face against Hiro's neck. The guitarist held the thin man, only able to console him with his presence. Personally, he could not empathize because he had never been in the situations Shuichi put himself in daily...he had never been in love. Never mind that the object of the singer's affection was a prick and that he treated Shuichi worse than the dirt they walked upon.

His best friend was in pain, and he could do nothing to ease it, much less stop it completely.

"I'm sure Yuki Eiri-san is fine," he soothed, wanting the other to stop crying and breathe. "Everything will be fine."

"No. It won't be. It-it can't. I messed up. Yuki hates me. I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have..."

"What? Shuichi, you can tell me." Hiro knew he was repeating himself, but he didn't care.

He had to know!

"I shouldn't have said yes!" And, Shuichi continued to cry.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He was in one of NG's studios, poking at a microphone, when the door gently swung open. Tohma had shown up to take him home a few hours after Noriko had left, assuring him that everything was going to be fine, but Ryuichi was depressed. He'd hurt Shuichi, had probably scared him away forever, and the medicine was piling up. He even had nightmares about pill bottles eating him. The singer fished into his pocket and jumped when a voice interrupted his solitary reverie.

He'd forgotten that someone had come in.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here." Ryuichi stared at the green-haired boy restlessly shufflilng papers. He knew his name...

"I'll leave, Na No Da." He grabbed Kumagoru by the ear and dragged himself past Suguru.

"N-no. No. You don't have to leave." He pointed to the synth resting on its stand. "I just wanted to do some fine tuning on a few of these songs before-" Ryuichi suddenly looked up, half-smiling.

"Songs? New songs, Na No Da?"

"Well..." Suguru lowered his head. "They don't have lyrics because Shindou-san..." He immediately shut his mouth. "Yes. They're new songs."

"Could..." Ryuichi bounced over to him. "Could Ryuichi and Kumagoru hear them?"

"Well, I..." Suguru gave in. "Alright. I guess it couldn't hurt." He smiled when Ryuichi squealed excitedly, and the singer plopped onto the floor, looking up at him with childish eagerness.

Bad Luck's keyboardist carefully arranged the sheet music and got to work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Are you mad at me?

I'm sorry.

I wish you woudl say something. I'm better now. No more Scary Place. No more doctor.

Okay...that's a lie. My doctor-lady wants me to visit more than every weekend. I heard Tohma say so, too. Kumagoru said no.

Kumagoru always wins.

I got to listen to pretty music today. A lot was fun. I needed fun. So did Kumagoru. But one song was sad. It made Kumagoru sad, too. He tried to hide in my pocket. I let him. I made up words to it because there weren't any. Shuichi hadn't made any yet. Kumagoru likes them. Silly bunny. Ryuichi borrowed them from Kuma.

I know. I didn't finish my story! Would you like to hear the rest?

OKAY!

Where was I?

Oh, yeah.

Kuma didn't mind that Ryuichi had other friends. But, Kuma wasn't around as much as before. It made Ryuichi sad, but only for a little while.

Eventually, Ryuichi began to sing with Noriko and Tohma when they came to play. Noriko had a nice voice. Pretty and floaty. It reminded Ryuichi of a lonely person searching for something. It was nice.

Tohma was different, though.

The different kind of scary that was weirder than weird. He had a soft, little voice. Almost like an angel, but it was darker. Almost scary. He rarely joined in, but Noriko was quiet when he did. Ryuichi loved to sing with Tohma the most.

They made pretty music. Soon, though, Tohma decided that they should be serious.

They could be famous.

Ryuichi liked the idea.

He wrote songs. Some of the words were taken from Kuma. When Ryuichi shared them with Kuma -that meant putting on a show with clothes and everything- he didn't seem to notice. Kuma was sad. Ryuichi could tell, and it made Ryuichi sad, too.

Ryuichi cried.

Kuma hugged him.

"I love you, Ryuichi." That's what Kuma told the sad Ryuichi. Ryuichi believed him. He didn't know what else to do. "Don't change. Not ever."

But...

Eventually, Ryuichi did change.

He had to.

It wasn't Ryuichi's fault.

It wasn't Tohma. Or Noriko.

It was Kuma. But, Ryuichi would never tell him that...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you wet. Here. Let me wipe you off.

There. You're all better. I'm okay, too. Kumagoru doesn't know why I'm crying. I can't tell him. Not ever.

He's not old enough to know.

BE QUIET, KUMAGORU!

I know what I mean. I'm not stupid. No. I'm not.

Yes, I took my medicine. Both of them. Quit bossing me around. You can't tell me what to do.

Not anymore.

I hope I didn't say anything that's made you scared. Or made you hate me. Kumagoru can be a meanie sometimes. He likes to take all the yummies and tries to tell me what to do.

I don't like that.

I'm sure no one else does, either.

Do you?

Kumagoru isn't really bad. I know he cares. Lots. I think I'm just tired. And a little sleepy.

I want to sleep forever.

Dream about nothing and something.

No one would be able to bother me.

The memories would disappear. Fade away into nothing. It'd be easy.

Sometimes, very easy.

I only put them on paper so that I can come back to them, anyway.

That's all they'll ever be. Things on paper.

Life isn't fair. (Yes, I know, Kumagoru. It never was.)

Shuichi hates me. Tohma hates me. Noriko is worried about me. Kumagoru, too.

No one likes me.

It's all my fault, but I can't take all the credit.

What's that phrase?

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, Kuma. I owe you one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tachi Aizawa leaned back against the booth in NG's cafeteria, fingers drumming on the table. Ken and Ma were across from him, playing with straws and each other in a more discreet manner than usual. The flirting was too obvious, and the singer closed his eyes, somewhat annoyed. ASK hadn't made a total recovery, but they were on their way back to the top. Already, their two newest songs were more popular than any other they'd released, but Aizawa wasn't concerned with that. Bad Luck, NG's other highly supported band, was still better than them, and their effort was a microscopic fraction of what Aizawa and his bandmates put forth.

It was easy to get upset about something like that.

"Hey, Tachi!" Aizawa turned and immediately ducked, avoiding the waded up napkin being thrown at him.

"Quit." Aizawa eyed them. "Can't you be more mature?"

"Why?" Ken laughed when Ma poked him.

"Tachi wants us to act more like him. Ne?" The two men crossed their arms, huffed, and started laughing when the other rolled his eyes. Aizawa slid from his seat, styrofoam coffee cup in hand and walked towards the exit. At that moment, the tall, blonde manager of Bad Luck waltzed in, the redheaded guitarist beside him. They were talking heatedly about something that appeared to be of importance, and Aizawa moved to the side, eavesdropping on their conversation when they stopped moving.

"I honestly believe Shuichi needs some time off. Can't we just-"

"No." The American answered with his usually astute English words. "This cannot be done, Hiro-kun."

"But-"

"Everything will be okay!" He smiled broadly. Hiro stomped his foot.

"I'm tired of..." He searched for what he wanted to say. "Shuichi isn't going to be here for a few days. Neither am I. You might as well tell Fujisaki-kun, too, while we're on the subject." He pointed his finger at the taller man. "You can't expect Shuichi to rebound every time he's hurt. This is serious." K appeared unaffected.

"I know the seriousness of the situation...Hiro-kun." He patted the guitarist on the shoulder. "I have already...looked into it." Hiro knew that 'looked-into-it' was just another way for K to say 'schemed-and- planned.'

"Good. In the mean time, I'll be looking after Shuichi."

"You're very persistent, Hiro-kun." The younger man grinned precariously.

"I've learned from the best," he answered, indicating K, who was also smiling. Aizawa, still quietly leaning against the wall, unnoticed, arched his eyebrow.

Thing appeared to be getting even more interesting. It was time to do some "looking" of his own.

Aizawa smirked and left the cafeteria.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shuichi hesitantly turned the lock on Hiro's door, unsure whether or not to open it. His friend had told him not to. The singer bit his lip and pulled the door back, peeking into the hallway at the body standing there. Hands removed sunglasses and folded them closed. Red eyes stared back at him.

"W-what are you d-doing here?" Shuichi clutched at the knob and clenched his fist. Tachi Aizawa slowly smiled.

"Take it easy." The other singer peered over Shuichi's shoulder. "You going to let me in or do I have to stand out here to talk to you?"

"N-no...b-but I..." Aizawa grabbed the door and forced Shuichi back, letting himself into the apartment. It was clean and organized aside from the blankets spread messily over the bed. Aizawa could tell that this was definitely the redhead's place- a guitar and a few amps were stacked carefully against the far wall. Shuichi watched as Aizawa kicked the door closed and swallowed.

"Nice place," he commented nonchalantly.

"It's...it's Hiro's." Aizawa rolled his eyes.

"I know." ASK's vocalist began to walk towards Shuichi, and Shuichi backed up, tripping over his own feet and landing on the bed. Aizawa had to admit that the pink-haired boy looked rather...fuckable with his legs spread and his hair mussed, but he shook his head. He was past that, now.

Today, he was the good deed-doer.

"I..."

"I said to take it easy." Aizawa looked down at him. "I have something to tell you." Shuichi gazed up at him with big eyes.

"W-what?"

"First...don't look at me like that."

"L-like what?"

"Like I'm going to...do something terrible to you." Shuichi immediately began to shake, and Aizawa slapped a hand over his face.

"Y-you're going to do s-something to m-me?"

"Forget I said that." Aizawa took a step back. "Just listen to me."

"O-okay."

"You had a falling out with your lover, again?" With the pitiful expression on Shuichi's face, it was a given. "Moping isn't going to help."

"I know." Shuichi stared at him, suddenly very tense. "But what am I supposed to do? You want me to get drunk again? So you can take advantage of me?" Aizawa ground his teeth.

"Apologies are never good enough for you, are they?" He walked over to the bookcase opposite the bed. "That was...bad for all of us. I'm trying to help you."

"T-then don't be here."

"It must be hard for you," Aizawa abruptly spoke.

"What?"

"It must be hard for you to realize that everyone you know doesn't like you." Shuichi gaped at him in shock and then stood, waving his arms.

"That's not true! I...a lot of people l-like me."

"Oh, yeah?" Aizawa turned to look at him. "Name one."

"M...Hiro likes me." Aizawa laughed.

"God. You are dense." Red eyes pierced violet. "Your friend does like you, but not in that aspect." It took Shuichi a moment to understand.

"T-that's not true! Hiro would never-" Shuichi swung his arm and unexpectedly punched Aizawa in the face. Aizawa stumbled but caught himself, the familiar taste of his own blood flooding his mouth.

He didn't know the brat could hit so hard!

"You-" Aizawa wiped at the liquid pouring over his lip. "What was that for?"

"You...y-you're a pervert! That's why!"

"I only told you the truth." Shuichi balled his fingers into a fist again. "You wouldn't have hit me otherwise." Shuichi paused, his anger leaving him. He couldn't believe it! Aizawa was...right!?

"But...but he does like for me."

"Point for you." Aizawa held up a finger. "Another."

"What?"

"Name someone else."

"I...m-my mom."

"A given. Another."

"My dad?"

"Another given. Come on. You can do better than this." Shuichi thought for a moment, and the name fell from his mouth.

"R-Ryuichi-san."

"Ah. The great Sakuma Ryuichi." Aizawa shook his head. "Try again."

"I-" Tears began to slide down his face. "I don't know! I don't know!" Aizawa grinned.

"Of course you don't know." Shuichi looked at him, confused. "You're too caught up in your life's drama to realize anything."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your precious Yuki Eiri likes you. Hell, I'd say the guy's infatuated with you." Shuichi looked at the floor.

"No he isn't."

"Yes he-" Aizawa stopped, not wanting to argue childishly. "Have you read anything he's written? Ever?" Shuichi shook his head. "You should."

"W-why?"

"Just do it." The pink-haired singer glared at him skeptically.

"Why should I do what you're telling me?" He crossed his arms. "Why should I even believe you?"

"You want him back, ne?"

"I-" Shuichi looked at the floor again. He swallowed. "What is it that you want from me, Tachi-kun?" Aizawa smirked.

"To come back to NG so I can finally prove to everyone that ASK is better."

"T-that's it? But don't you-" The front door was pushed open, and Shuichi found himself staring at Hiro.

"Why's the door-" He stopped, unable to believe that who he thought he was seeing was standing in his apartment. Aizawa slipped his sunglasses back on.

"See you around." Aizawa walked by Hiro, smiling and let himself out quietly. Hiro immediately ran to Shuichi and grabbed him.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"N-no." Shuichi clung to Hiro.

'He helped me...'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I hope I'm not calling too late." Someone laughed. A female. "Good. I forget sometimes." A silence. "Can I...talk with him?" Light music played. "Hello? No. It's...who is this?" Soft crying. "I'm sorry. I thought you were..." Assuring words flooded the quiet. "I'm sorry for bothering you. No. That's okay. I'll call another time. Thank you." The click of the phone as it was placed on the reciever. Thin arms hugged an equally thin body.

'Kuma...'

TBC-