Chapter 4
Waya bounced impatiently in his seat. "Hey old man, can't you go any faster?"
"OLD MAN!?!" Kawai-san roared. "Why you little brat, if I go any faster, we'll get in a car wreck, and then we will be too late."
"Oh, sorry" Waya mumbled, ashamed.
"Fujisaki-san, how much further is it?" Touya asked politely, but he could barely keep his voice calm.
"Just a couple more blocks, we should be there in a few minutes." Akari responded. Hikaru, you better be alright.
"There! There it is stop!" Akari directed.
Slamming on the breaks, the taxi came to a screeching halt. Akari jumped out of the car and ran at full speed to the attic that she and Hikaru had visited so long ago. She ran past a puzzled Shindo-Jiisan, not even bothering to take off her shoes as she entered the house.
"Akari-chan? Wha-" He began, but he found himself talking to the wind.
Akari slammed the door open, and took the rickety ladder as fast as she dared. As she was climbing she heard a faint voice.
"Sai, it's your turn."
"Hikaru!" She screamed when she heard a thump. The scene that she came upon was the stuff of nightmares. Blood and Go stones everywhere, and yet, there was a faint smile on Hikaru's face.
"Somebody, call an ambulance! Somebody! Anybody! Please!" She pleaded frantically.
Touya walked up quietly, but was visibly shaken. "They are on their way, just close the wounds until they get here. I'll help"
An ambulance came to take Hikaru to the emergency room a few long minutes later. Akari was stunned, she could not take her eyes off the bloodstained Go board.
A white ceiling, and the smell of rubbing alcohol. The regular beeps coming from various machines, and the feel of bandages on his wrists, all these things assaulted Hikaru's senses as he ascended from the depths of unconsciousness.
"Funny, the afterlife sure seems like a hospital." Hikaru stated.
"Glad to see you still have a sense of humor" Touya remarked dryly.
Hikaru jumped, startled, he really had expected to be in the afterlife.
Suddenly realization came crashing down. With a sob he choked out a hoarse "Why? Why did you stop me?"
"Idiot, because we're your friends." Touya replied smoothly.
"But… I was so close… I saw him." Hikaru insisted. Then his expression twisted with anger, "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"
Touya was startled, "Shindo, I…"
"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING! YOU NEVER WILL! WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?" Hikaru yelled.
Touya was taken back by the anger and resentment in Hikaru's voice. Stunned, he found himself unable to say anything to his friend and rival. Hikaru raged on until the yelling alerted the hospital staff that their new charge was awake. The orderlies hurried to sedate Hikaru before he could reopen any of his wounds. Touya stood there unable to make sense of any of Hikaru's actions from the last week.
Akari's brows furrowed in confusion while listening to Touya's description of Hikaru's behavior. "That doesn't sound like Hikaru."
"And slashing his wrists does?" Waya snapped.
Waya instantly felt guilty as Akari's eyes started to well up with tears again.
Waya mentally kicked himself. How could you have forgotten that they were so close? They were only childhood friends. "Um… Fujisaki…I, ah, I didn't mean… I mean, I'm sorry, for snapping at you like that." He fumbled awkwardly. "I mean… I know that you and Shindo are close…"
Akari wiped her tears away and shook her head. "No, its okay. Actually, it seems like ever since Hikaru started playing Go, we've kind of drifted apart." She smiled weakly. "That's why I tried to learn Go, but it feels like I'll always be playing catch up."
"Fujisaki-san, do you believe Hikaru's story?" Touya asked, deep in thought.
Waya and Akari jumped, they had almost forgotten that Touya was in the room.
"I think it makes sense." Akari started. "And Hikaru certainly believes it. I'm pretty sure that Hikaru had never even touched a Go board before that day we were in his grandfather's attic. And then suddenly he's interested in Go, and acing history tests."
Akari laughed nervously. "I should have known something was funny. He faints over a Go board, and the next day he's acing History. Then I find out that he had suddenly taken up Go. It was so strange, for someone that was playing Go so much, he didn't seem to enjoy it until we entered Junior High School." Akari mused.
Touya's head snapped up. "When did he collapse over the Go board?"
"Umm, I think it was in fall of sixth grade… It was a few days before my sister's school's cultural fair…so I think that it was in November, mid November." Akari said.
"Could it have been around November 17th?" Touya asked.
Akari was deep in thought. "Yes, now I remember! It was November 16th that he collapsed over the Go board!" Akari said, proud that she had remembered.
"And he had never had any interest in Go before that event right? You are sure?" Touya asked with intensity.
"Yes, I'm sure… Touya-san, why are you asking these things, how did you know it happened around November 17th?" Akari asked confused.
"That's the day I met Shindo, the first time I had ever played him. He beat me easily, and he could not even hold the stones properly." Touya stated. "I believe him."
Shocked, Akari and Waya could only nod their heads in agreement.
Hikaru stared blankly at the ceiling. Ever since he had woken up, he had been treated so differently. As if everyone expected him to jump out the window or something. (Then again, he might have tried it if there weren't bars on the windows). After a couple of psychologists came in to talk to him, he quickly deduced that he was in some kind of mental institution. Great, they decided to stick me with the crazies. Then again, maybe I'm not so different from them. What if Sai wasn't real? Hikaru had refused to talk to anyone after Touya left. If he tried to tell anyone about Sai, he'd probably never be able to leave. That was assuming that Touya and the others hadn't already told the doctors what was in the note. That's why I never told anyone. They'd never believe me. Hikaru thought bitterly.
A soft knock startled him out of his reverie. Looking up, he recognized Akari, Waya, and Touya.
"Hikaru?" Akari said meekly, "Can we come in?"
Hikaru mumbled an affirmative as Akari, Waya, and Touya came in and made themselves comfortable.
"I believe you." Touya stated in an even voice.
That shocked Hikaru. Touya continued, "When we were comparing notes, we realized that that is the best explaination as to why you could collapse one day and suddenly be a Go master the next day."
Hikaru recovered. "So, I guess you've finally found Sai, huh? Too bad he's not here anymore." Looking down, he said bitterly.
"No…" Touya replied. "But you are."
Hikaru chuckled humorlessly, "I was never anything, all you saw was Sai. I am NOTHING in comparison!"
"Hikaru…" Akari started.
"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I WAS SELFISH! IF ONLY I HAD LET HIM PLAY ALL THE GAMES, EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!" Hikaru roared.
Turning to Touya, he said. "I just wanted you to look at me with those serious eyes, to see me as your rival. But I could never measure up, you're in another world. I'll always be playing catch-up."
Looking downcast he added, "All I'll ever see is your back, as you walk straight down the path to greatness, to the Move of God."
Touya's normally calm face twisted with frustration and anger. "Don't be absurd! Who beat the Kenkyuusei Huang Su-Young? Who passed the Pro exam? Who rose to the level of pros in only two years?"
Touya took a few deep breaths and then stated calmly, "To tell you the truth, I wanted to ignore you. I wanted to walk the path that had been set before me, but you would not let me. You drew me to you, everything you did, with each game I heard of, you somehow drew me to you."
Hikaru was stunned.
"I think I have always seen you as a rival, not just because of your Go play style. But because of your spirit. Your spirit to overcome, to persevere. Sai, or Hikaru's Go, it does not matter, I saw your spirit, and that's what mattered."
Hikaru looked down, so as to hide the tears streaming down his face. "But Sai was better, I'm only a shadow of what he was. I can't ever replace him." Hikaru's voice quivered, "Touya-sensei, and Ogata-sensei, they both wanted to play him. Because of my selfishness, they'll never get the chance. Its all my fault that Sai, the best Go player I've ever known has left this world forever! I can never fix that."
"Your Go play style is good enough, maybe it is not equal to Sai's yet, but I have no doubt that it will one day surpass his. You have something that Sai did not, something that can not be compensated with experience." Touya explained.
"But still…" Hikaru started.
Touya interrupted, "Lets play a game, here and now."
Akari and Waya, who had been nearly forgotten in the dialogue between Touya and Hikaru, shifted uncomfortably.
"I brought a Go board! It's in my backpack." Akari suddenly piped up. "Its only a folding board, and the stones are plastic, is that okay?"
Touya turned toward her, suddenly losing the intensity in his eyes, "Yes, Fujisaki-san, I would appreciate it if you would lend me your Go set." He said politely.
Hikaru nervously reached into the go bowl and tentatively selected a stone. Once again, he allowed himself to feel the flow of the game. Closing his eyes, he recalled one of the first lessons that Sai had taught him. With sudden resolve he opened his eye and placed the stone. His eyes took on a level of focus that would have seemed out of place on his troubled face a moment ago, but the transformation made his game face seem so… right.
Touya noted Hikaru's change of demeanor. Smiling inwardly, he felt as if he had already won a battle, and he had yet to place a stone. Studying his rival's move, Touya planned carefully, and then placed his stone.
Stone after stone, turn after turn, the game steadily progressed. Against his own resolve, Hikaru was finding that he was enjoying the game more and more as time went by. Reaching out to place the next stone, he nearly stopped mid-move. He could almost see the graceful hand, Sai's hand, moving to place his stone. Not noticing that Touya had taken his turn, Hikaru stared at the board. After several minutes, Touya and the others realized that the flow of the game had been broken. Looking up they were shocked at what they saw.
Tears streamed down Hikaru's face, and yet there was a nostalgic smile on his face. His friends looked at him inquisitively. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally said "This move… he used to play like this. No matter where I looked I couldn't find him… and he was here all along."
"Shindo…" Touya started.
Hikaru interrupted. "He was always here, in my Go. Sai…" With sudden resolve, he wiped away his tears. "I'll play! From now on I'll play tens, no hundreds, no thousands of games. With Touya, with Waya, with Ochi, with everyone. As long as I have Go, Sai will always be at my side."
Sensing that the huge burden that had weighed so heavily on their friend had been lifted, the four friends smiled at each other. Akari broke into tears of joy and leapt into Hikaru's arms. Waya ruffled Hikaru's hair, and joked with the younger boy, relieved that the atmosphere had cleared. Touya simply stood back, and smiled a knowing smile. All of them were looking forward to the bright tomorrow.
Author's note: I can't believe it's June already! Well, I intended on posting sooner, but May just kind of slipped by me. Anyway, for those of you that asked for longer chapters, here you go. This chapter is twice as long as the other ones. The funny thing is, when my friends read it, they thought that it was too long, but when I look at it, I think "Man these are really short chapters". On retrospect, I guess I should have made it a one-shot, and just combined all the chapters. Although when you do that, you don't get the benefit of the dramatic pause that is inherent in the end of a chapter.
Oh, and by the way, if anyone does know the date of when Hikaru no Go started, that would be great. I choose the date for Hikaru's collapse, not entirely on a whim. I seem to remember at the start of the series, there were leave falling, so it was probably Autumn right? And it was also cold, they said that when Kaga threatened to throw Hikaru in the pool. So I guessed that it was around late Autumn, so I just made up November 16th as the day Hikaru met Sai.
I want to thank you all for reviewing, your feedback has pushed me to post faster. Also, I have an idea for the sequel, read the epilogue, and you'll get a pretty good idea of what I mean. The more feedback I recieve, the likelier the chance is that I'll start writing again.