Les jeux mystèrieux: The Mysterious Games
Janna: Last episode, Anne and the Emperor were interrupted by an unexpected arrival.
Chris: MEEEE!!!
Jeff: Um…yeah. Chris turned out to be the first Celestial Warrior of Byakko, rather surprisingly.
Chris: What's that supposed to mean???
Luna: Anne and Chris left Shijuen to begin their journey to Mt. Taikyoku, where they are to meet Taiitsu-kun, the creator of the world.
Anne: Um…why are we doing this again?
Nick: It happened in the original series. Who knows?
Luna: Idiot! Don't mention the "original series"!!! We'll have to lock you in the closet like we did Max! (to Anne) It's to look for clues about the Celestial Warriors.
Max: (From closet) MELP!!! MELP!!!
Kat: (ignoring Max's gagged self) Yeah, that is a good idea.
Episode 5: Ooki na Chikara (The Tremendous Power)
(Battle music cues up as Anne and Chris stand terrified, looking-)
Chris: STOP THE MUSIC!
(The music stops)
Chris: I am so not standing "terrified." I am certainly not "terrified." Scared, maybe. Confused, yes. Awaiting eagerly the upcoming slaughter, yes.
Anne: Chris, shut up. RESUME MUSIC!
(Battle music cues up again as Anne stands looking terrified and Chris stands looking stupid, as always. The soldiers in blue armor look them up and down, swords already drawn.)
Soldier 1: Halt! Who goes there!
Anne: Um…nobody? We weren't going anywhere!
Soldier 2: A likely story! Who are you two anyway?
Chris: We're just travelers, from Shijuen.
Soldier 3: And where are you bound?
Anne: For Mt. Taikyok- eep! I shouldn't have said that!
Soldier 1: Excuse me?
Chris: We were traveling to our mother's house on the outskirts of the city.
Soldier 3: Ah…I see…well, in that case…
Soldier 2: Wait! Where are your ID cards?
Anne: What?
Soldier 1: Your ID cards. You are in Kutou-occupied territory.
Chris: No, we aren't. This is Sailo's territory.
Soldier 2: You fool! Kutou's armies have almost completely taken over this puny country!
Soldier 3: Actually…we are a bit far out on patrol.
Soldier 2: You shut up!
Soldier 1: Actually, it's been about a week since we've found camp.
Soldier 2: Don't tell them that!
Soldier 3: We're sorry about the trouble. We're just a bit lost. New country and all.
Soldier 2: Are you asking them for help?
Soldier 1: It's better than eating those plants you told us to eat!
Soldier 2: Those were edible!
Anne+Chris: …
Soldier 3: So? Could you spare us some food?
Anne: I'm sorry? Didn't you say that you guys were trying to TAKE OVER this country?
Soldier 1: Well, yes…
Chris: So…why is it in our best interests to give you food? All you'll do is go eat, get stronger and kill more of our countrymen!
Anne: Wow…go Chris!
Soldier 2: That would be true, in most cases…but we're starving!
Anne: Well…hold on one second. I must hold conference with my brother. Come, Brother.
(Anne drags Chris out of the soldier's earshot)
Anne: This is bad. We don't live out here. We can't give them food!
Chris: So? Just say no.
Anne: They aren't selling drugs! They would probably kill us!
Chris: Yeah…those swords look pretty mean…although they look meaner.
Anne: So what should we do?
Chris: Well, we do have some food in our packs…
Anne: No! We can't feed them! They're our enemies!
Chris: News flash, Anne. We have been in this world for exactly one day. We don't owe them anything yet. Besides, three soldiers aren't really going to make that much of a difference, whereas if we die, Sailo is basically screwed.
Anne: Well…I guess…you sure you can't use your powers to blow them up or something?
Chris: Anne! You beast! Really, I wish I could, I just have no idea what this power I have is exactly.
Anne: In that case, we have no choice to feed them.
Chris: Arrrgh…fine.
(Anne and Chris return to the soldiers.)
Anne: Well, we have decided that bringing Kutou's soldiers into our town would be a bad idea…but we have a little food. We could share if you promise to leave us alone.
Soldier 3: See, I told you that these kids would be nice! Bless you, young lady!
Chris: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just take the food. These guys make me annoyed.
(Anne and Chris go into the saddlebags and get some of their food. As they bring the food back to the soldiers, the all six eyes on the soldiers become as large as onions.)
Soldier 2: Do you guys…see that?
Soldier 1: You mean…on his cheek?
Soldier 3: Yeah, I see it!
(Chris looks at them, confused, before he sees what they're looking at.)
Chris: My character…on my cheek?
Anne: Oh no…they've found us out! Oh, that? It's nothing, really. Just an oddly-shaped birthmark.
Soldier 1: Since when do birthmarks spell out the word "Stride?"
Soldier 3: The only people who have white characters on their bodies are…
Soldier 2: Celestial Warriors of Byakko!!!
(In an instant, the three soldiers are on their feet, swords drawn.)
Soldier 1: I get it now! That's why that girl is dressed so oddly!
Soldier 2: Yes! She must be the Priestess of Byakko!
Soldier 3: We would definitely get promoted if we exterminated you two…
Anne: Darn it! We're going to have to get out of here, and fast!
Chris: You wouldn't leave us alone if we gave you food, would you?
Anne: NO, YOU IDIOT!!!!
(The soldiers advance slowly on the duo, who slowly back away. The food in their hands falls to the ground as Anne and Chris break into a run. The soldiers begin the pursuit, quickly flanking the two.)
Chris: Damn, this is not good!
Soldier 2: Just relax, and this won't be so hard.
Soldier 3: Surrender or die!
Soldier 1: You guys suck!
(Chris and Anne go back-to-back as the three soldiers circle around them.)
Anne: Does it make you feel big, killing two defenseless kids?
Soldier 1: Don't play dumb! You may be defenseless, but the boy isn't!
Chris: You coulda fooled me.
Soldier 3: Seriously, this guy's probably got some magical powers. Go for the girl first.
Anne: Oh, greaaaat!!!!
Chris: When I give the word, Anne, run. I'll try to take at least one down.
Anne: Ok.
(The three soldiers cautiously advance.)
Chris: NOW!!!
(Chris dashes quickly at one of the soldiers, running quite quickly. Anne dashes the opposite way, going between the other two. Chris crashes violently into the soldier, knocking him off balance. Anne is about to get through the two when they grab her.)
Soldier 2: Silly girl. Thinking you could get through two of us? (hits Anne hard in the stomach)
Chris: Anne!
(Chris grabs the fallen guard's sword before he can get up, and nervously points the sword at the two soldiers who are restraining a struggling Anne.)
Chris: Let go of her…or else!
Soldier 3: Come on, you don't even know how to use that sword!
(Behind Chris, the soldier gets up and prepares to launch himself at Chris)
Anne: Chris! Behind you!
(Chris turns as the soldier springs at him, sword weakly held up. The soldier punches him in the face, and Chris drops the sword and falls backwards onto the ground. The other two soldiers laugh at Chris's feeble attempt to defend himself. Anne has stopped struggling and now watches in horror as the soldier stands above Chris, sword drawn.)
Soldier 1: Stealing other people's things isn't nice. I'm going to have to teach you a lesson.
Anne: Chris!!!!
(The soldier brings the sword up, and then down…there is a flash of white light, and the sword digs deep into…the ground? Chris is no longer where he was; the ground is empty.)
Soldier 1: What…the hell?
Chris: Behind you.
(The soldier tries to turn around, but Chris has him around the throat, and he is squeezing from behind. On his left cheek, the symbol for "stride" glows white.)
Soldier 2: Wha…what are you?
Anne: What just happened???
(Chris twists his arm and the soldier drops to the ground, unconscious. The other two release Anne and try to run away. Chris smiles and his body flashes white for an extremely brief moment. In a second, he is standing ahead of the running soldiers. He jumps at the nearest one, fist outstretched. He hits him hard in the cheek, downing him easily, and then spins into a quick roundhouse, catching the last soldier in the chest and sending him flying onto the ground. Anne's just gapes as the three soldiers lie moaning in the grass. Chris shakes his head, and then moves over to where Anne is. His cheek is still glowing.)
Anne: Chris…what…
Chris: It's my power. Teleportation.
Anne: Teleportation??? You can teleport???
Chris: I guess…I saw the sword coming for me, and I just wished to be somewhere else, anywhere else…and there I was. Right behind the soldier. I took the opportunity.
Anne: Wow…THAT IS SO COOL!!! Teleport over there! (points to the horses)
Chris: What?
Anne: Just do it! I wanna see!
Chris: Um…ok. (he concentrates for a second, then phases out and reappears over by the horses) Ok, done.
Anne: I'm so jealous!!!
Chris: (sighs) This is going to be a long journey…(looks at the soldiers) What are we going to do about them?
Anne: Leave them…uuugh. (grabs her stomach)
Chris: Anne? Are you all right?
Anne: Yeah…I'm fine…my stomach…it…hurrrrrr-
(Anne bends over, then collapses in the grass. Chris instantly kneels down, trying to shake her awake.)
Chris: Anne? Anne! Wake up!
(Unsurprisingly, she does not wake up.)
Chris: Oh, god…this is bad. I gotta get her to a town!
(Chris picks up Anne's prone body)
Chris: Urrgh…she's heavy…
(Chris staggers over to the horse and heaves Anne's unconscious body over the horse. He quickly moves all he can into that horse's saddlebags and mounts up, spurring the horse to ride.)
(A little while later, one of the soldiers stirs…)
*************
(Chris arrives in a small village in about 15 minutes. It is not completely dark, but the sun is dipping below the horizon.)
Chris: Shoot…I gotta find her a doctor.
(Chris dismounts and knocks on the nearest door. An old man pokes his head out of the door)
Old Man: Who are you?
Chris: You don't know me, but my friend is really sick and I need a doctor!
Old Man: Oh, my…this looks bad. There isn't a doctor in this village, and you can't get to a village with one before night falls…here, bring her in here.
(Chris leads the horse to the door and picks up Anne again.)
Chris: Jeez, she's not really light! I gotta tell her to lay off the weight-lifting!
(Chris staggers into the house, where a concerned old woman stands next to the old man.)
Old Woman: Oh, my! Please, come into the back room.
(Chris follows the woman, and deposits Anne on the bed.)
Chris: Thank you so much! We were attacked by Kutou's soldiers…
Old Man: They attacked you? Two young children?
Old Woman: Aiiiyaaa, what is this world coming to? I'll try to see what I can do. What happened to her?
Chris: They punched her in the gut.
Old Man: Oh…she might not have sustained any serious wounds.
Chris: Oh, thank goodness!
Old Woman: Or, she might have internal bleeding and have perhaps hours to live.
(Chris looks at her, bewildered)
Old Woman: (laughing) Honestly, young man, lighten up! I'm sure she just needs to rest. You can stay here tonight. There isn't any other bed in this room, though…
Chris: Thank you so much! This is really nice of you. I don't need a bed, I probably won't be able to sleep anyways.
Old Man: Yes…I'll brew her some tea. It'll certainly help her.
(The old man leaves the room, as the old woman steps outside the other way. She opens the shutters on the windows, watching the sun recede over the horizon.)
Old Woman: Don't worry…I'm sure your friend is fine. Where were you two from?
Chris: Oh…we were traveling from Shijuen.
Old Woman: How horrible! Soldiers this far from Kutou! Things are really getting bad.
Chris: Really? How long has it been since they began to invade?
Old Woman: Only a few months. The people have put up a valiant struggle, but they have no hope. Nobody resents the Emperor's decision, though. We would rather live through Kutou's military campaign than see our children go out to die.
Chris: But, don't you want to fight back at all?
Old Woman: Sometimes…but if we continue praying for a Priestess in our time of need, our prayers will surely be answered. Once the Priestess comes, we will be saved.
(Chris doesn't say anything, just looks at Anne's still body.)
*************
(Miles away from the village, a girl walks through the trees. Her head turns abruptly, as if seeing something odd.)
Girl: What…what is that feeling? Like a tug, almost. Tugging me that way…toward that village. What could it be?
Nick: And now, for these messages.
Luna: I HATE THIS AUTHOR AND HIS/HER DAMNED CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!!
Kat: We now return you to your scheduled programming.
Max: Wow, it feels so great!
Chris: What does?
Max: Being out of the closet! I feel so free!
(Everybody stares at him)
Max: What?
Anne: ANYWAYS, the next episode is sure to be entertaining!
Janna: Assuming you don't die due to internal bleeding.
Jeff: Stay tuned for Episode 6: "Kakimashita yo, Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho ni."
Chris: Or, "Written in the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho."