FIVE
"It's not going to completely cover up the audience," Adrian fussed as the stagehands finished setting in place the scrim to block the crowd off from him.
"It's the best we can do, mac," one of them told him.
"Hey Monk," one of the judges piped up, "You should be used to this by now. They've been giving you the special treatment your whole life, even those times when you didn't deserve it."
"Oh hi Susan," Adrian greeted her, "Didn't realize you were here."
"Another friend?" Oliver asked him.
"Yep," Adrian confided in him, "She was salutatorian in my class. Kind of disgusted that I beat her out for every major award. She wrote in my yearbook after graduation, 'Congratulations, Adrian. Now I'll wreck your life if it's the last thing I ever do.' Very touching."
"And that's still in effect, Monk," Susan snorted, "I've been waiting a long time to see you fall, and if I could, I'd penalize you here for every mistake you make, but I almost forgot you're perfect."
"Oh I'm not perfect, very far from it," Adrian admitted.
"I hated your stupid comments almost as much," Susan said bitingly, "To think that the teachers catered to a nut like you over..."
"Quiet on the set, we're on again in five, four, three, two, bring up music," came Sam's voice over the intercom. Adrian gave Susan a forgiving smile, which she didn't return, as the show went back on the air. "And we're back with our contestants," Trebek told the viewing audience, "Adrian Monk, whom I've been told is the first contestant in this show's history to have obsessive compulsive disorder, you climbed up a Ferris wheel once as part of a case?"
"Yes Alex," Adrian told him, "We...we were trying to clear a member of the San Francisco police who'd been framed for murder, and when we'd figured out who'd framed him, we traced him to a carnival. My assistant Sharona, who's kind enough to be here tonight, got up on the Ferris wheel to see if she could spot the suspect, and she found out the hard way he was up on the wheel with her, and I had to climb up the wheel, which was against my better judgment, to save her, which I did in the nick of..."
"Wait a minute Adrian!" Sharona was now on her feet, looking rather upset. The cameras all swung around to show her to the viewing public. "May I remind you that I only went up on the Ferris wheel because you were too chicken to do it yourself!?"
"Well you know, I'm...me, I'm supposed to be too chicken," Adrian said in self-defense.
"Oh and while I'm at it, let me inform the public that you climbed up because you were too inept to stop the wheel with the controls, even though you said you knew what you were doing!" Sharona ranted.
"Uh, Mom," Benjy gave his mother's coat an anxious tug, "My friends are watching!" Sharona paid no attention. "You're lucky Stottlemeyer and the others showed up on time, or I would have been killed with or without you!" she bellowed.
"I get her like this all the time, Alex, this is normal," Adrian explained to the host. Trebek shrugged. "Well, all I can say, Adrian, is that you and your assistant must have an interesting working relationship," he said.
Back in prison, Stokes was grinning ear to ear. "I love free publicity," he said to the other convicts, "I just hope that pig Kirk was watching; might teach him a little something about the people he trusts."
"Ah yes, cops do lead interesting lives, Leonard," Beiderbeck said, "I should know, I have dossiers on half the force in San Francisco, and a good quarter of them lead deplorable personal lives."
"In that case, why don't we go blackmail them after this affair ends?" Gold suggested, "After all, our grudges against the S.F.P.D. don't end at Adrian Monk."
"Interesting thought, Dexter, but we might as well wait until this blows over," Beiderbeck said, "Move too soon and we'll arouse suspicion." He shifted around more on his bed. "This is my favorite part of the show, though," he told the others, "Watching the contestants pour out the embarrassing parts of their miserable, wasted lives, not like us, gentlemen, not like us."
Back in the studio, Trebek moved up the line. "Diane Coroli from Lubbock, who saved a child from a bull down in Mexico; how did that come about?" he asked.
"Well, we were down visiting friends in a small town called San Tapoco, and we decided to attend a bullfight that was being held in the square," Diane explained, "and as the matador was waving the cape around to avoid the bull's charge, a four-year-old boy fell into the ring. He was wearing a red shirt, so the bull immediately made a beeline for him. I was right up front, and I realized what was about to happen, so I jumped down, scooped him up, and..."
"Excuse me," Adrian interrupted, "You're making this story up."
"No I'm not!" Diane protested.
"Uh, yes you are, because contrary to popular belief, bulls can't see the color red, so there's no way it could have been attracted to a red shirt," Adrian pointed out, "And San Tapoco was the name of the village in Three Amigos; this whole story is a fabrication, likely to please the crowd, I guess."
Steam poured from Diane's ears. "All right, I'm making it up, happy!?" she barked.
"Well, yes," Adrian said matter-of-factually.
"Oookay," Trebek said quickly, "Our returning champ Oliver Harms has by now probably told all the anecdotes he can, so Oliver, all I can ask is, what do you plan to do with your winnings?"
"Well, I do need to pay off some loans, so I'll take care of that first, and then I'll take the family on a world cruise," Oliver said, "Lisa's always wanted to go on one, so honey (he spoke directly into the camera facing him), better get packed, because we'll be cruising any day now."
"You also might be interested, Lisa, in knowing that Oliver here is cheating on you," Adrian said into the same camera.
"Oh no you don't!" Oliver snapped, "That's a bold faced lie!"
"It could be, except that I noticed in your wallet in the dressing room when you were giving Steve the coordinator your social security card a picture of a woman with a romantic message and her name signed on it—Jane, Jean, or Joan, I couldn't quite make it out, her penmanship isn't the best—but since wives generally wouldn't do that, I'd safely assume you've been going with another woman," Adrian theorized.
Oliver looked deathly pale. "D-D-D-Don't l-listen to him, honey, this man is borderline insane!!" he pleaded over the air to his wife.
"Oh, there she is now, in the back corner," Adrian pointed over the scrim to a red-haired woman, who promptly jumped up and ran off as the cameras caught her on national TV, "I guess since you're in love with..."
"Um, you're not going to uncover anything unpleasant about me, are you Adrian?" Trebek asked, looking at the detective with concern.
"Uh, no Alex, you're, you're kosher," Adrian told him.
"Good, because the last thing I'd want would be the sponsors pulling the plug on me for some crime I did twenty years ago," Trebek said, relieved.
In the audience, Disher was impressed. "Wow, how many of you saw that coming?" he asked the others.
"What can I say, Randy, with Monk there's never a dull moment," Stottlemeyer said.
"Yep," Disher added, "Who needs reality TV when Monk's around?"
"I wonder?" Sharona said with a mixture of agreement and sarcasm. Turning to face Monica, she said, "In fact, now that he brought infidelity up out there, let me just thank you," she told her, "You're probably the only person we've met over the last two years at least that has any marital fidelity...apart from Adrian himself, that is."
"Is that true?" Monica was impressed.
"Oh yeah," Sharona told her, "Half the cases we get end up with husbands and wives killing each other for whatever reason." After checking to make sure Benjy wasn't paying attention to her, she whispered, "And just between you and me, if I could get away with it, I'd happily do in my ex, the sniveling sneak."
"Adrian said something to the extent when he was sleeping over that you and your husband weren't on the best of terms," Monica admitted.
"Tell me about it," Sharona whispered, "Just recently in fact he came back and put on this song and dance routine about how he'd gotten his life back on..."
"They're starting again Sharona," Gail told her sister. Sharona cut off the conversation and turned back to the stage. "Anyway Adrian, you had control when we left off, pick again," Trebek told him.
"Adrian," Oliver whispered down to him, murder burning in his eyes, "Now you're going down harder than you can possibly imagine!"
"Oh, I probably can imagine it," Adrian whispered back, "My wife's death was harder than I could possibly imagine, and nothing could possibly hit me harder than that."
"Well I will!" Oliver growled.
"Uh, Oliver, do you have something you'd like to share with us?" Trebek asked him.
"Uh, no Alex," Oliver said quickly.
"Then please let Adrian make his selection," the host told him.
Up in the control room, Sam took a swig of the cognac. "It's now official," he told everyone else, "Tonight's show is now officially a circus, so somebody call for the clowns, please."
"Well at least Alex is holding up well," Ariel said, "It's a good thing he's such a consummate professional."
"True," Sam admitted, "I doubt John Davidson would still be standing by this point." He checked his watch again. Still on time...
"I'll continue with The Los Angeles Freeway system for $800," Adrian said.
"The Foothill Freeway's Interstate 210 section has its eastern terminus in San Dimas, and its western terminus in this valley community," Trebek read, "Adrian?"
"What is San Fernando."
"That's right."
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $1,000."
"Known as 'The road to nowhere' due to its lack of reference points, Interstate 605 is known by this watery title. Adrian?"
"What is the San Gabriel River Freeway."
"Correct."
"Switching back over the board, I'll go with Monarchs for $200."
"Currently King of Norway, he ascended to the throne in 1990. Adrian?"
"Who is King Harald V."
"Right."
"Monarchs for $400."
"Call him the unluckiest of husbands: this Russian tsar was overthrown by his army in 1663 and replaced with his wife, Catherine the Great. Adrian?"
"Who was Tsar Peter III."
"Indeed."
"Monarchs for $600."
"Contrary to popular belief, Louis XVI wasn't France's last Bourbon king; this ruler, overthrown in 1830, was. Adrian?"
"Who was Charles X."
"Exactly."
"Monarchs for $800."
"And there we find the Daily Double," Trebek said as the Daily Double music roared, "Now Adrian, needless to say, you are completely dominating this game right now with $10,200, compared with nothing for both of your opponents, so technically you can be liberal right now. How much will you wager?"
"Um, to be honest, Alex, I don't gamble, so why don't we just skip this part?" Adrian suggested.
"Uh, no Adrian, we can't skip it, so how much are you going to wager?" Trebek pressed.
"You know, the whole Daily Double thing is kind of stupid when you think about it, are you sure we can't bypass it, just for tonight?" Adrian counterpressed.
"I'm sorry, we can't."
"Okay then, I guess I'll bet...zero dollars."
"Adrian, you might want to bet a little bit more than that," Trebek was looking a little frustrated now.
"Okay," Adrian thought really hard, "Make it...zero hundred dollars."
Ripples of laughter swept through the audience. Sharona put her hands to her face again in disgust. "Here we go again," she said to no one in particular.
"Adrian, this is the Daily Double, you have to bet at least half the money!" Trebek said, exasperated.
"Are you a hundred percent sure I have to?"
"I'm a hundred and two thousand percent sure, Adrian, because that's the way we've been doing it for over twenty years!" Trebek shouted at him. Now the audience completely broke up in laughter.
"Well, if you insist," Adrian shrugged, "I guess I'll take half."
"Thank you!" Trebek said with finality. "Anyway, here's the clue: It's the name that's been given to six rulers of both Morocco and the Ottoman Empire, by far the most popular in each realm."
"What is Mohammed, or Mehmed, as the Ottomans said."
"That's correct, and that brings your total to $15,300," Trebek said over the applause, "Now that wasn't so hard Adrian, was it?"
"Well, it kind of was, Alex, but I..."
"Never mind," Trebek quickly interrupted, "The board's still yours."
"Um, Monarchs for $1,000."
"This Japanese emperor, who ruled until 1928, was known as the Taisho. Adrian?"
"Who was Emperor Yoshihito."
"Yoshihito, right."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $200."
"Is his real name Eddie Nashton or Edward Nygma? Hmm, that's an interesting question. Adrian?"
"Who is the Riddler."
"Right."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $400."
"Mark Mangon stole meteorological technology from his brother Clyde and became this core Silver Age Flash villain. Adrian?"
"Who is Weather Wizard."
"Right."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $600."
"One of the four men to take up the mantle of the Hobgoblin. Adrian?"
"Who are Ned Leeds, Roderick Kingsley, Lefty Donovan, and Jason Macendale, who was previously Jack O'Lantern."
"Again we only needed one, Adrian, but you once again nailed them all," Trebek said, getting confirmation from Susan, who shot Adrian a dirty glance.
"Comic Book Supervillains for $800."
"After being thrown out of the Green Lantern Corps for corruption, this devilish villain sought refuge on the evil planet of Qward. Adrian?"
"Who is Sinestro."
"Right, we have less than a minute to go in the round."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $1,000."
"Zebediah Killgrave had an accident with toxic gas and became this colorful Daredevil heavy. Adrian?"
"Who is the Purple Man."
"Indeed."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $200."
"This popular sequence, which ran for fourteen years, took viewers through a mock city, complete with buses and milk trucks, before zooming into space for an encounter with a monolith. Adrian?"
"What is 'Stargate,' a.k.a. HBO Feature Presentation, a.k.a HBO in Space."
"HBO Feature Presentation, right."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $400."
"NBC launched its comeback campaign in 1983 by asking its viewers this. Adrian?"
"What is, 'Let's All Be There.'"
"NBC, let's all be there, right."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $600."
"This network's slogan in the mid 90s was, 'The Remote Stops Here.' Adrian?"
"What is USA."
"The USA Network, correct."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $800."
"For much of the 80s, ABC opened its primetime movies with a trip down one of these. Adrian?"
"What is a star tunnel."
"The famous Star Tunnel, right."
The "time's up" buzzer sounded. "And that means the round's over, and Adrian, what can I say, you're on a role the likes of which we've never seen before," Trebek commented over the massive applause, thoroughly impressed, "You have amassed so far $21,300, which is a first round record, is it not?" he asked the judges, who nodded emphatically, "And what's more amazing, both Diane and Oliver have absolutely nothing to their score. Can they possibly catch up with him? We'll find out in a moment when we play the Double Jeopardy round, so whatever you do, don't go away folks."
The applause thundered again as the music went back up. "Hey Monk," the detective heard Susan whisper to him over it, "Don't get too comfortable. This is the last happy moment you'll ever enjoy."
"Hey, I'd have traded valedictorian for you if you'd have asked," Adrian called back, "I wanted to bury the hatchet, you just wouldn't let me in."
"Nobody let you in, you idiot!" Susan growled, "And after tonight, don't be surprised you're left an empty, rotting shell!"
"What that supposed to mean?" Adrian asked. Susan ignored him and went back to the other judges. Adrian shrugged.
"You think you can hide behind your intellect façade, Adrian, but it won't change the fact that you're a retarded freak!" Diane snarled at him.
"Yeah," Oliver added, "We'll still catch you in the end, because you can't handle the pressure!"
"Why don't you just shut your faces!" Sharona yelled at them, having come down again to check on her boss. "Well Adrian, you're doing better than any of us could have imagined," she told him, "You're driving us nuts with those Daily Double ticks, but overall you're doing admirable. Do you need anything?"
"Uh, ,yeah, one thing I've noticed is that light up there seems to be dimming a bit," Adrian pointed to the light in question, directly above him, "It started out fine, but now it's starting to flicker a bit."
"I can't fix that, Adrian," Sharona said, "but I'll put in a word with the staff."
"Good. What's the time anyway? I hope I haven't pushed the show off its time frame."
"It's uh," Sharona checked her watch, "7:44. We're still on time."
"Good," Adrian smiled. As Sharona left, he looked back up at the light. There was something unnerving about it that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Then his attention was taken by the dirt mark on the name screen that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He started wiping it down again...
"It's not going to completely cover up the audience," Adrian fussed as the stagehands finished setting in place the scrim to block the crowd off from him.
"It's the best we can do, mac," one of them told him.
"Hey Monk," one of the judges piped up, "You should be used to this by now. They've been giving you the special treatment your whole life, even those times when you didn't deserve it."
"Oh hi Susan," Adrian greeted her, "Didn't realize you were here."
"Another friend?" Oliver asked him.
"Yep," Adrian confided in him, "She was salutatorian in my class. Kind of disgusted that I beat her out for every major award. She wrote in my yearbook after graduation, 'Congratulations, Adrian. Now I'll wreck your life if it's the last thing I ever do.' Very touching."
"And that's still in effect, Monk," Susan snorted, "I've been waiting a long time to see you fall, and if I could, I'd penalize you here for every mistake you make, but I almost forgot you're perfect."
"Oh I'm not perfect, very far from it," Adrian admitted.
"I hated your stupid comments almost as much," Susan said bitingly, "To think that the teachers catered to a nut like you over..."
"Quiet on the set, we're on again in five, four, three, two, bring up music," came Sam's voice over the intercom. Adrian gave Susan a forgiving smile, which she didn't return, as the show went back on the air. "And we're back with our contestants," Trebek told the viewing audience, "Adrian Monk, whom I've been told is the first contestant in this show's history to have obsessive compulsive disorder, you climbed up a Ferris wheel once as part of a case?"
"Yes Alex," Adrian told him, "We...we were trying to clear a member of the San Francisco police who'd been framed for murder, and when we'd figured out who'd framed him, we traced him to a carnival. My assistant Sharona, who's kind enough to be here tonight, got up on the Ferris wheel to see if she could spot the suspect, and she found out the hard way he was up on the wheel with her, and I had to climb up the wheel, which was against my better judgment, to save her, which I did in the nick of..."
"Wait a minute Adrian!" Sharona was now on her feet, looking rather upset. The cameras all swung around to show her to the viewing public. "May I remind you that I only went up on the Ferris wheel because you were too chicken to do it yourself!?"
"Well you know, I'm...me, I'm supposed to be too chicken," Adrian said in self-defense.
"Oh and while I'm at it, let me inform the public that you climbed up because you were too inept to stop the wheel with the controls, even though you said you knew what you were doing!" Sharona ranted.
"Uh, Mom," Benjy gave his mother's coat an anxious tug, "My friends are watching!" Sharona paid no attention. "You're lucky Stottlemeyer and the others showed up on time, or I would have been killed with or without you!" she bellowed.
"I get her like this all the time, Alex, this is normal," Adrian explained to the host. Trebek shrugged. "Well, all I can say, Adrian, is that you and your assistant must have an interesting working relationship," he said.
Back in prison, Stokes was grinning ear to ear. "I love free publicity," he said to the other convicts, "I just hope that pig Kirk was watching; might teach him a little something about the people he trusts."
"Ah yes, cops do lead interesting lives, Leonard," Beiderbeck said, "I should know, I have dossiers on half the force in San Francisco, and a good quarter of them lead deplorable personal lives."
"In that case, why don't we go blackmail them after this affair ends?" Gold suggested, "After all, our grudges against the S.F.P.D. don't end at Adrian Monk."
"Interesting thought, Dexter, but we might as well wait until this blows over," Beiderbeck said, "Move too soon and we'll arouse suspicion." He shifted around more on his bed. "This is my favorite part of the show, though," he told the others, "Watching the contestants pour out the embarrassing parts of their miserable, wasted lives, not like us, gentlemen, not like us."
Back in the studio, Trebek moved up the line. "Diane Coroli from Lubbock, who saved a child from a bull down in Mexico; how did that come about?" he asked.
"Well, we were down visiting friends in a small town called San Tapoco, and we decided to attend a bullfight that was being held in the square," Diane explained, "and as the matador was waving the cape around to avoid the bull's charge, a four-year-old boy fell into the ring. He was wearing a red shirt, so the bull immediately made a beeline for him. I was right up front, and I realized what was about to happen, so I jumped down, scooped him up, and..."
"Excuse me," Adrian interrupted, "You're making this story up."
"No I'm not!" Diane protested.
"Uh, yes you are, because contrary to popular belief, bulls can't see the color red, so there's no way it could have been attracted to a red shirt," Adrian pointed out, "And San Tapoco was the name of the village in Three Amigos; this whole story is a fabrication, likely to please the crowd, I guess."
Steam poured from Diane's ears. "All right, I'm making it up, happy!?" she barked.
"Well, yes," Adrian said matter-of-factually.
"Oookay," Trebek said quickly, "Our returning champ Oliver Harms has by now probably told all the anecdotes he can, so Oliver, all I can ask is, what do you plan to do with your winnings?"
"Well, I do need to pay off some loans, so I'll take care of that first, and then I'll take the family on a world cruise," Oliver said, "Lisa's always wanted to go on one, so honey (he spoke directly into the camera facing him), better get packed, because we'll be cruising any day now."
"You also might be interested, Lisa, in knowing that Oliver here is cheating on you," Adrian said into the same camera.
"Oh no you don't!" Oliver snapped, "That's a bold faced lie!"
"It could be, except that I noticed in your wallet in the dressing room when you were giving Steve the coordinator your social security card a picture of a woman with a romantic message and her name signed on it—Jane, Jean, or Joan, I couldn't quite make it out, her penmanship isn't the best—but since wives generally wouldn't do that, I'd safely assume you've been going with another woman," Adrian theorized.
Oliver looked deathly pale. "D-D-D-Don't l-listen to him, honey, this man is borderline insane!!" he pleaded over the air to his wife.
"Oh, there she is now, in the back corner," Adrian pointed over the scrim to a red-haired woman, who promptly jumped up and ran off as the cameras caught her on national TV, "I guess since you're in love with..."
"Um, you're not going to uncover anything unpleasant about me, are you Adrian?" Trebek asked, looking at the detective with concern.
"Uh, no Alex, you're, you're kosher," Adrian told him.
"Good, because the last thing I'd want would be the sponsors pulling the plug on me for some crime I did twenty years ago," Trebek said, relieved.
In the audience, Disher was impressed. "Wow, how many of you saw that coming?" he asked the others.
"What can I say, Randy, with Monk there's never a dull moment," Stottlemeyer said.
"Yep," Disher added, "Who needs reality TV when Monk's around?"
"I wonder?" Sharona said with a mixture of agreement and sarcasm. Turning to face Monica, she said, "In fact, now that he brought infidelity up out there, let me just thank you," she told her, "You're probably the only person we've met over the last two years at least that has any marital fidelity...apart from Adrian himself, that is."
"Is that true?" Monica was impressed.
"Oh yeah," Sharona told her, "Half the cases we get end up with husbands and wives killing each other for whatever reason." After checking to make sure Benjy wasn't paying attention to her, she whispered, "And just between you and me, if I could get away with it, I'd happily do in my ex, the sniveling sneak."
"Adrian said something to the extent when he was sleeping over that you and your husband weren't on the best of terms," Monica admitted.
"Tell me about it," Sharona whispered, "Just recently in fact he came back and put on this song and dance routine about how he'd gotten his life back on..."
"They're starting again Sharona," Gail told her sister. Sharona cut off the conversation and turned back to the stage. "Anyway Adrian, you had control when we left off, pick again," Trebek told him.
"Adrian," Oliver whispered down to him, murder burning in his eyes, "Now you're going down harder than you can possibly imagine!"
"Oh, I probably can imagine it," Adrian whispered back, "My wife's death was harder than I could possibly imagine, and nothing could possibly hit me harder than that."
"Well I will!" Oliver growled.
"Uh, Oliver, do you have something you'd like to share with us?" Trebek asked him.
"Uh, no Alex," Oliver said quickly.
"Then please let Adrian make his selection," the host told him.
Up in the control room, Sam took a swig of the cognac. "It's now official," he told everyone else, "Tonight's show is now officially a circus, so somebody call for the clowns, please."
"Well at least Alex is holding up well," Ariel said, "It's a good thing he's such a consummate professional."
"True," Sam admitted, "I doubt John Davidson would still be standing by this point." He checked his watch again. Still on time...
"I'll continue with The Los Angeles Freeway system for $800," Adrian said.
"The Foothill Freeway's Interstate 210 section has its eastern terminus in San Dimas, and its western terminus in this valley community," Trebek read, "Adrian?"
"What is San Fernando."
"That's right."
"The Los Angeles Freeway System for $1,000."
"Known as 'The road to nowhere' due to its lack of reference points, Interstate 605 is known by this watery title. Adrian?"
"What is the San Gabriel River Freeway."
"Correct."
"Switching back over the board, I'll go with Monarchs for $200."
"Currently King of Norway, he ascended to the throne in 1990. Adrian?"
"Who is King Harald V."
"Right."
"Monarchs for $400."
"Call him the unluckiest of husbands: this Russian tsar was overthrown by his army in 1663 and replaced with his wife, Catherine the Great. Adrian?"
"Who was Tsar Peter III."
"Indeed."
"Monarchs for $600."
"Contrary to popular belief, Louis XVI wasn't France's last Bourbon king; this ruler, overthrown in 1830, was. Adrian?"
"Who was Charles X."
"Exactly."
"Monarchs for $800."
"And there we find the Daily Double," Trebek said as the Daily Double music roared, "Now Adrian, needless to say, you are completely dominating this game right now with $10,200, compared with nothing for both of your opponents, so technically you can be liberal right now. How much will you wager?"
"Um, to be honest, Alex, I don't gamble, so why don't we just skip this part?" Adrian suggested.
"Uh, no Adrian, we can't skip it, so how much are you going to wager?" Trebek pressed.
"You know, the whole Daily Double thing is kind of stupid when you think about it, are you sure we can't bypass it, just for tonight?" Adrian counterpressed.
"I'm sorry, we can't."
"Okay then, I guess I'll bet...zero dollars."
"Adrian, you might want to bet a little bit more than that," Trebek was looking a little frustrated now.
"Okay," Adrian thought really hard, "Make it...zero hundred dollars."
Ripples of laughter swept through the audience. Sharona put her hands to her face again in disgust. "Here we go again," she said to no one in particular.
"Adrian, this is the Daily Double, you have to bet at least half the money!" Trebek said, exasperated.
"Are you a hundred percent sure I have to?"
"I'm a hundred and two thousand percent sure, Adrian, because that's the way we've been doing it for over twenty years!" Trebek shouted at him. Now the audience completely broke up in laughter.
"Well, if you insist," Adrian shrugged, "I guess I'll take half."
"Thank you!" Trebek said with finality. "Anyway, here's the clue: It's the name that's been given to six rulers of both Morocco and the Ottoman Empire, by far the most popular in each realm."
"What is Mohammed, or Mehmed, as the Ottomans said."
"That's correct, and that brings your total to $15,300," Trebek said over the applause, "Now that wasn't so hard Adrian, was it?"
"Well, it kind of was, Alex, but I..."
"Never mind," Trebek quickly interrupted, "The board's still yours."
"Um, Monarchs for $1,000."
"This Japanese emperor, who ruled until 1928, was known as the Taisho. Adrian?"
"Who was Emperor Yoshihito."
"Yoshihito, right."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $200."
"Is his real name Eddie Nashton or Edward Nygma? Hmm, that's an interesting question. Adrian?"
"Who is the Riddler."
"Right."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $400."
"Mark Mangon stole meteorological technology from his brother Clyde and became this core Silver Age Flash villain. Adrian?"
"Who is Weather Wizard."
"Right."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $600."
"One of the four men to take up the mantle of the Hobgoblin. Adrian?"
"Who are Ned Leeds, Roderick Kingsley, Lefty Donovan, and Jason Macendale, who was previously Jack O'Lantern."
"Again we only needed one, Adrian, but you once again nailed them all," Trebek said, getting confirmation from Susan, who shot Adrian a dirty glance.
"Comic Book Supervillains for $800."
"After being thrown out of the Green Lantern Corps for corruption, this devilish villain sought refuge on the evil planet of Qward. Adrian?"
"Who is Sinestro."
"Right, we have less than a minute to go in the round."
"Comic Book Supervillains for $1,000."
"Zebediah Killgrave had an accident with toxic gas and became this colorful Daredevil heavy. Adrian?"
"Who is the Purple Man."
"Indeed."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $200."
"This popular sequence, which ran for fourteen years, took viewers through a mock city, complete with buses and milk trucks, before zooming into space for an encounter with a monolith. Adrian?"
"What is 'Stargate,' a.k.a. HBO Feature Presentation, a.k.a HBO in Space."
"HBO Feature Presentation, right."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $400."
"NBC launched its comeback campaign in 1983 by asking its viewers this. Adrian?"
"What is, 'Let's All Be There.'"
"NBC, let's all be there, right."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $600."
"This network's slogan in the mid 90s was, 'The Remote Stops Here.' Adrian?"
"What is USA."
"The USA Network, correct."
"Network Slogans and Graphics for $800."
"For much of the 80s, ABC opened its primetime movies with a trip down one of these. Adrian?"
"What is a star tunnel."
"The famous Star Tunnel, right."
The "time's up" buzzer sounded. "And that means the round's over, and Adrian, what can I say, you're on a role the likes of which we've never seen before," Trebek commented over the massive applause, thoroughly impressed, "You have amassed so far $21,300, which is a first round record, is it not?" he asked the judges, who nodded emphatically, "And what's more amazing, both Diane and Oliver have absolutely nothing to their score. Can they possibly catch up with him? We'll find out in a moment when we play the Double Jeopardy round, so whatever you do, don't go away folks."
The applause thundered again as the music went back up. "Hey Monk," the detective heard Susan whisper to him over it, "Don't get too comfortable. This is the last happy moment you'll ever enjoy."
"Hey, I'd have traded valedictorian for you if you'd have asked," Adrian called back, "I wanted to bury the hatchet, you just wouldn't let me in."
"Nobody let you in, you idiot!" Susan growled, "And after tonight, don't be surprised you're left an empty, rotting shell!"
"What that supposed to mean?" Adrian asked. Susan ignored him and went back to the other judges. Adrian shrugged.
"You think you can hide behind your intellect façade, Adrian, but it won't change the fact that you're a retarded freak!" Diane snarled at him.
"Yeah," Oliver added, "We'll still catch you in the end, because you can't handle the pressure!"
"Why don't you just shut your faces!" Sharona yelled at them, having come down again to check on her boss. "Well Adrian, you're doing better than any of us could have imagined," she told him, "You're driving us nuts with those Daily Double ticks, but overall you're doing admirable. Do you need anything?"
"Uh, ,yeah, one thing I've noticed is that light up there seems to be dimming a bit," Adrian pointed to the light in question, directly above him, "It started out fine, but now it's starting to flicker a bit."
"I can't fix that, Adrian," Sharona said, "but I'll put in a word with the staff."
"Good. What's the time anyway? I hope I haven't pushed the show off its time frame."
"It's uh," Sharona checked her watch, "7:44. We're still on time."
"Good," Adrian smiled. As Sharona left, he looked back up at the light. There was something unnerving about it that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Then his attention was taken by the dirt mark on the name screen that he couldn't quite put his finger on. He started wiping it down again...