Les Jeux Mystèrieux: The Mysterious Games
Mt. Taikyoku does not really mean "Central Mountain." I'm just having it read like that for my own reasons.
Max: Anne, Tokaki and Subaru managed to escape from the inn of supreme evil!!!!!
Kat: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????
Anne: Inn of Supreme Evil???
Nick: It was the assassin that was evil!
Chris: I don't know…that girl running the front desk seemed miiiiiighty suspicious to me.
Jeff: That's because you're braindead.
Janna: That would explain a lot of things.
Luna: Great, now all Anne has to protect her is me…
Episode 8: Kuso! Umi no Akuma! "Damn! The Sea Demon!"
(Anne, Tokaki and Subaru are quietly riding down the road. Subaru seems to sort of be sagging in the saddle; she still looks tired.)
Tokaki: Are you ok, Luna?
Subaru: It's Subaru, remember? I'm fine, just a bit tired.
Anne: You really don't look so good.
Subaru: That whole big aging-the-assassin thing took a whole lot out of me.
Tokaki: Yeah, but you're so powerful now! You can just age things enough for them to have decomposed years ago!
Subaru: No offense, but that's not really something I'd like to do again. It really made me feel like I was dead.
Anne: That is pretty bad…
Tokaki: Oh, well. At least we have me to kick the bad guy's asses!
Anne: Wow, that really makes me feel better.
*************
(The darkened room with the pentagram. The candles slowly light, one by one, until all five are lit. The shadowed people once again walk towards the candles, but not enough to be illuminated.)
Person 1: (masculine voice) What news is there now?
Person 2: (sultry feminine voice) I have sent out my assassins, but they have not come back.
Person 5: (young feminine voice) What does that mean?
Person 3: (decadent masculine voice) It is quite possible that the assassins have been killed.
Person 4: (semi-masculine voice) What? How is that possible? I thought your people were the best around!
Person 2: I did not send out the best of my assassins to do this job.
Person 1: Why not? This is the most important thing to us at this point!
Person 3: Simple. This was only enough to test them. Assassins of this caliber could only have killed the Priestess if she did not have any Celestial Warriors protecting her; she has two already.
Person 1: I see. I trust you will not fail again?
Person 3: According to my information, there is something that may destroy the Priestess without our intervention.
Person 4: Really??? Sweet!
Person 5: And what might that be?
Person 2: A certain demon, sleeping under the waters of the Tsejian Lake. It is attracted to those with high chi…
Person 1: Very good…we will see if that can do the job. If not…
Person 2: My assassins never fail unless I wish them to.
Person 5: Good. Now, let us pray.
(There is silence for a moment.)
Person 4: I have a question. Why do we always have to meet in such a dark room?
Person 1: It is the subtle ambience of darkness.
Person 4: No, seriously. Can't we just meet in a well-lit place?
Person 5: No! Like our savior Senri-e languished in the darkness outside the world, so-
Person 4: So must we, I know, yadda yadda yadda.
*************
(The trio travels for the whole day, stopping only to eat lunch. By evening, they have once again reached a town with an inn; this town, however, is quite a bit larger than the last. In the Inn, Anne rents separate rooms again.)
Tokaki: Fine. If assassins attack again, I can't help you.
Subaru: You couldn't help her if you were sleeping right next to her!
Anne: Hey, Tokaki, come into my room. I wanna look at the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho before bed.
(Tokaki enters the girl's room after dropping his stuff in his room. Anne and Subaru are seated on the bed, Anne is holding the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho. Tokaki sits down next to Anne)
Tokaki: OK, let's look at the scroll.
Anne: Hold on…what do we wanna know?
Subaru: Let's see…we're heading towards Mt. Taikyoku.
Anne: Correct. I think we're heading the right way…let me see.
(Anne opens up the scroll, skimming until she gets to the right part.)
Anne: Here we are. "The Priestess and her two guardians traveled towards Mt. Taikyoku."
Tokaki: That helps us a lot.
Subaru: No, look. "Mt. Taikyoku" is written with the characters for "central" and "mountain."
Anne: What does that mean?
Tokaki: Maybe…it means that it's in the center of a whole bunch of other mountains.
Subaru: Interesting thought…
Anne: No! Wait…what did the Emperor say… "Mt. Taikyoku, in the center of the world."
Tokaki: The center of the world???
Subaru: The world is round! The mountain would have to be in the inner core!
Anne: No, that's not what he meant. Let's see…to these people, what would they gauge the center of the world on…
Tokaki: Well, there are four countries, right? Wouldn't that be the whole world to them?
Subaru: Yeah, and the center of the world would mean at the center of the borders of the four countries!
Anne: Huh, it's like Four Corners back in the US…
Tokaki: Wait, the four countries are Sailo, Hokkan, Konan and Kutou, right?
Subaru: Right. Hokkan is in the north, Kutou is in the east, and Konan is to the south.
Anne: So?
Tokaki: Kutou is invading Sailo, right?
Subaru: Duh!
Anne: No, I think I get what he's saying! If the mountain is at the center of the world, it's directly at…
Tokaki: The border with Kutou!!!!
Subaru: Oh, no! I get what you mean! So…we'll most likely be heading through enemy territory to get there???
Anne: Oh, god…this is NOT good…
Tokaki: Well…that depends. How far are we from Mt. Taikyoku now?
Subaru: No idea. The better question is to ask how far we are from Kutou's borders?
Tokaki: I'll go ask.
(Tokaki gets up and leaves the room. A few minutes later, he returns.)
Tokaki: Um….we're a less than a week from Kutou's border.
Anne: What???
Subaru: Why the heck aren't we in Kutou's territory?
Tokaki: The border's not like a single point. It's like a line, between Kutou and Sailo. Mt. Taikyoku is actually at the point where Kutou, Konan and Sailo meet.
Anne: Oh…so do we have to pass through Kutou-occupied territory?
Tokaki: Mercifully, no. We can skirt the southern part of Sailo to reach Mt. Taikyoku.
Subaru: Oh, that's good.
Anne: Assuming that the troops don't just randomly expand before we get there.
Tokaki: That would be hilarious!
Subaru: No it wouldn't! They'd kill us!
Anne: Tokaki, you should go to sleep.
Tokaki: Fine, I get it. I am sorta tired anyways. See you two in the morning.
Subaru: Good night.
Anne: Good night.
*************
(It's morning, and Anne, Subaru and Tokaki have eaten breakfast and left the inn.)
Anne: So, we just head east now?
Subaru: Yeah, that's what I suppose.
Tokaki: I heard there's a lake right near here.
Anne: What?
Subaru: That was a very random thought.
Tokaki: So? We should go and visit it.
Anne: Visit the lake? Are you kidding?
Subaru: Honestly, we don't have time.
Tokaki: Aww, come on. It'll only take an hour at most, and it'll be FUN!
Anne: Fun. Fun. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FUN!!!!
Subaru: Yeah! We have to save the world here!
Tokaki: Saving the world is boring! Let's just relax for one hour!!!! I mean, come on, we're in this new world, and all we're doing is riding past it! We'll probably never be back here once we leave, so…
Anne: Nice speech. The answer is still no.
Tokaki: PLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE????????
Subaru: Ok, if we go to the lake will you shut up?
Tokaki: Yes! I will!
Anne: Fine. We'll go visit the lake.
Tokaki: YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Trust me, this is gonna be so much fun!
Subaru: I can't wait.
(Tokaki leads Anne and Subaru a bit north. Sure enough, there is a large lake slightly to the north. The lake is large and…lakish. There aren't any boats out on the lake, but there are plenty on the shore.)
Anne: Wow, this place is really serene. I feel relaxed already.
Subaru: Nice…I never thought I would sad this, but this was a good idea.
Tokaki: See! I told you two! (looks around) Ooh, boats!
Anne: Boats…? Oh no. No way. We are NOT going on a boat ride.
(Tokaki runs off toward one of the boats. A man stands next to the boat, looking out over the lake.)
Subaru: Oh god. What is he going to do.
(Tokaki says some words, and then the man starts bowing obsessively. Tokaki pushes the boat into the water and motions for Anne and Subaru to come over.)
Tokaki: Come on, you guys!!!! We have an hour!!!
Anne: What have I done???
(Anne and Subaru, reluctantly, dismount, tie up their horses, walk over to the boat and sit down. Tokaki pushes the boat into the water, and they are moving.)
Tokaki: Yay! This is so fun!
Anne: Why did that guy just give you his boat?
Tokaki: I told him the Priestess of Byakko wanted to take a ride.
Subaru: TOKAKI!!! You can't just abuse her position like that!!
Tokaki: Um…oops?
Anne: Oh well. I guess we have this boat now.
Subaru: You're taking his side???
Anne: Why not? We have the boat, we have the lake, and we promised him an hour. Let's just enjoy it.
Tokaki: See, I always knew you were rational underneath all that blonde!
Anne: What did you say?
Tokaki: Nothing.
(Tokaki takes out the oars and begins to row. The boat glides smoothly through the water like a knife through human flesh…I mean, like a knife through butter. Anne closes her eyes, peacefully immersed in the lake's relaxing quality. Subaru, however, is bored.)
Subaru: Wow, this is reeeeally fun.
Tokaki: Lighten up and enjoy it! Look at the trees! Look at the water! Look at the sky!
Subaru: I'm looking…I see nothing
Tokaki: You suck.
(Every dip of the oars creates ripples in the water. The wind also creates small waves…but there are other ripples in the water, caused by some third source.)
Anne: I mean, really, Subaru, after this we're headed towards Mt. Taikyoku. I'm pretty sure this Taiitsu-kun will tell us where to go next and then we'll be perpetually on the road. Furthermore, after we find the seven Warriors we'll just have the ceremony and go home. Tokaki was right; we don't have that much more time to relax.
Subaru: Yeah…I guess. It is quite pretty when you get down to it.
Tokaki: I'm getting tired. Let's just drift.
(Tokaki puts down the oars. The boat now floats near the center of the lake. The shore is visible but still far away. The boat seems to be drifting away from shore, though.)
Anne: I've always wondered why the water always seems to flow towards the center of a lake. Like, is it the undertow? What's pulling it in?
Tokaki: Maybe…in the center of every lake there is a miniature vortex, sucking in the water!
Subaru: That is the smartest thing you've ever said in your life.
Tokaki: Wait, seriously. I think we're moving faster now.
Anne: Hm…you're right. We are moving towards the center of the lake.
Subaru: I wonder why that is?
Tokaki: I'm telling you, the miniature vortexes.
Anne: No, we're really speeding up now.
(The boat is now going about as fast as Tokaki can paddle.)
Tokaki: This is really creepy. Maybe we should get out.
Subaru: Where can we get out??? We're on the middle of a lake!!!!
Anne: But…there's no danger. We're…just moving.
Tokaki: It may not be dangerous, but it's unnatural!!!
Subaru: Well, hurry up and paddle!
(Tokaki grabs the oars and tries to paddle back to shore. But the water is moving very fast towards the center of the lake, and he is having trouble paddling.)
Tokaki: I can't paddle!!!
Subaru: What's going on??? This is really weird!
(In fact, it gets even odder as the skies mysteriously cloud over and it begins to rain, hard.)
Anne: What's going on? This is so weird!
Tokaki: That weather is so random…
Subaru: I wonder what's going to happen…things are obviously building up to something.
(Yes, they are.)
Anne: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
(Tokaki and Subaru turn around to see what Anne's screaming about. Behind them is a huge, blue sea serpent half-way out of the water.)
Tokaki: Holy. Shit.
Subaru: No danger??? NO DANGER???????
Anne: ARRRRGH!!! Why does this stuff always happen to me???
(The giant serpent opens its mouth to reveal rows upon rows of long, sharp teeth. It roars, and then throws itself at the tiny boat)
Tokaki+Subaru+Anne: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
(Luckily, the serpent misjudges due to the boat's rapid movement, and narrowly misses hitting the group. The huge head, followed by the long blue body, slaps into the water, rapidly sinking.)
Anne: Ok, stay calm….What are we going to do??? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?????
Subaru: I have no idea! We don't have room to maneuver, there's no room to run, we can't fight something that big…
Tokaki: There's gotta be something we can do! Can't you age it???
Subaru: No! Aging something that large enough to impair it would kill me!!!
Tokaki: I'm gonna try to attack it by teleporting.
Anne: No! You'll just fall into the water!!!
Tokaki: It's better than dying!
(The serpent resurfaces with a loud roar. Tokaki closes his eyes, and the symbol on his cheek flares into white light)
Tokaki: It's all or nothing!
(Tokaki phases out of reality, reappearing in the air above the serpent. He drops right on top of it, grabbing onto its neck with his arms and legs. The serpent roars, and thrashes its head trying to shake Tokaki off)
Subaru: It worked…but what are gonna do now?
Anne: Row!!!
(Anne grabs an oar, as does Subaru. Between the two of them and their adrenaline, they are able to make slow but marked progress against the current. Tokaki, meanwhile, is holding on for dear life while the serpent flings its head left and right. Finally, it realizes the obvious and smashes its head into the water.)
Anne: OH MY GOD!!! CHRIS!!!!!!!!!
Subaru: No, he's probably fine…I think. Let's keep paddling!
(The girls paddle as if their lives depend on it. Oh wait; they do. A moment later, the serpent resurfaces, with Tokaki still holding onto the neck, albeit a bit more wetly)
Tokaki: KEEP PADDLING!!! I'M OK!!!
Anne: OK! TELEPORT OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!!!
(Suddenly, the serpent makes a mighty heave and Tokaki is thrown off of its neck)
Anne: CHRIS!!!!!!!
Subaru: TELEPORT!!!!!
(Tokaki flies through the air and then disappears. He reappears on the boat, next to Anne.)
Anne: You idiot! I almost had a heart attack!
Tokaki: Shut up and give me the paddle! There's no time!
(Tokaki and Subaru row like mad, going even faster against the vortex's current. The serpent turns towards them, red eyes glaring balefully. It flies at the boat, now enraged. There is a huge crash as the serpent smashes into the boat, dashing it to pieces. Anne, Subaru and Tokaki are sent flying along with various pieces of the boat.)
(Anne manages to grab onto a piece of flotsam, and scans the surface of the lake for the serpent, Tokaki or Subaru. The rain is now obscuring her vision, but she can see something that looks like a person)
Anne: TOKAKI????????? SUBARU!!!!
Tokaki: ANNNNNNNE!!!!!
(It's Tokaki. Anne tries vainly to swim over to him)
Subaru: ANNNNNNNE!!!!! WE'RE OVER HERE!!!!
(As Anne attempts to swim in the roiling waters, the serpent rises up above her. It screams, extremely-high-pitchèdly)
Anne: AAAAAAAAA!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!
Tokaki+Subaru: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!!
(The serpent opens its mouth, in what appears, to Anne, to be slow motion. It slowly dives toward her, mouth outstretched.)
*************
(An old looking-man sits in a darkened room, his back the only visible part of his body. The only thing you can see is the statue in front of him, and that only appears to be something that's long and twisty. He stares into a bowl of water, which shows the serpent about to have a tasty meal.)
Old Man: (deep, strangely feminine voice) This could be the end…the end of my plans. I cannot let this happen.
*************
(Anne screams in horror as the serpent flies at her, too slow to be real. Suddenly, her entire vision becomes white light, and she sees a white tiger for a brief instant. There is a huge explosion of white, and Anne loses consciousness.)
*************
(The mountain pavilion. The OLD woman sits on her chair, absolutely dumbfounded)
OLD Woman: That power…I can't believe it. It's almost like…hers…no, it couldn't be. That girl…she must have some sort of blessing from Byakko himself!
*************
(Anne slowly opens her eyes. She can see blue sky above, and can feel sand below her. She sits up, confused. She is lying on the shore of the lake. Next to her, Tokaki and Subaru sit, suddenly looking very happy)
Tokaki: Oh my god…she's alive!
Subaru: Anne!!!
Anne: Luna, Chris…what happened???
Tokaki: Seriously, we have no idea. This huge pillar of light flew down and consumed you and the serpent.
Subaru: When we woke up, we were lying on the beach next to you. The people were all praying for your safety, and were so happy that we had washed up onto the shore.
Anne: What…about the serpent?
(Tokaki points to an area behind Anne. Anne turns around, where she sees the LONG body of the serpent being cut up by several men and pieces of serpent-meat being hauled away)
Anne: Wow…what about the boat's owner?
Tokaki: Come on, Anne! He's ecstatic that you're alive! Never mind the boat!
Subaru: What was that light? Do you know?
Anne: No…the serpent was flying at me, and I suddenly wished that somebody, somewhere would help me. My vision was enveloped in white…and then there was the explosion…No! I saw a white tiger, just for a second!
Tokaki: You don't think…
Subaru: Byakko?
Janna: Damn!!! That serpent kicked your guys's asses!
Chris: Way to rub it in.
Nick: I liked that whole "teleport onto the serpent's back" maneuver. Fat lot of good that did!
Luna: Hey, that actually distracted it!
Max: That whole white light thing was extremely stupid.
Kat: It saved her life!!!
Anne: (erects a tiny shrine to Byakko in the corner, and starts bowing) Thank you, Mr. Tiger, sir…
Jeff: ANYWAYS, the next chapter is called "Kesshite kimi-tachi o tasukete kureru na!"
Nick: Or, "Of course I'll save you guys!"