Les Jeux Mystèrieux: The Mysterious Games
By now, you should recognize which cult member has which voice, so I'm not gonna describe them anymore. I'm having trouble thinking of synonyms for "sultry."
Also, if you hadn't noticed by now, these characters are based off real people. I'm trying to avoid Mary Sue syndrome if at all possible (if you read my horrible Slayers fic, you know that that was Mary Sue paradise), but I might not be able to completely. So far, I've tried very hard to make the characters real and flawed (much like the people they are based upon; sorry, guys), and I think I'm doing pretty well…but comments are welcome! Yes! Yes! Comment!
Oh, and by the way; this is sorta random, and a bit premature, but the character of Anne is a monomyth hero to the extreme. Try and look for the signs, if you know what I'm talking about. The majority of them come later, but the signs exist ("I saw the signs! The signs that maybe you were too afraid to see!").
Max: Last episode, Anne and her Warriors had to pass the most difficult test of all.
Chris: Looking at Taiitsu-kun's face!!!!!!! (cringes)
Anne: We also had to worry about that pesky illusion, but that was a minor problem.
Nick: And we got to see the physical embodiment of cuteness!!!!! (eyes turn into animated hearts)
Jeff: Oh god. Now he's developing a Lolita complex.
Kat: And we finally found out about these religious wackos who are trying to kill Anne.
Luna: Oh well. Can't be bothered.
Janna: I'm still worried. Something's not quite right.
Episode 12: Shiban no Sensei (The Fourth Celestial Warrior)
(The group leaves Mt. Taikyoku after eating lunch. Each of the group's members is in a different mood.)
Anne: I can't believe she said that!!! To me, of all people!!!
Tokaki: I'm so glad that I'm out of view of that…thing! It was so ugly!!!! (shudders)
Subaru: That cult that Taiitsu-kun was talking about…why do they want to kill Anne?
Tatara: I want a Nyan-Nyan doll!!!!!
*************
(The cult headquarters)
Person 1: How go the assassination attempts against the lone Celestial Warriors?
Person 2: For the most part, fine. One is completely under control, and will not be a problem. One of them fought back our assassins, so we were forced to take a different course of action. Our plans for the third are just taking fruit, but they will be unstoppable once they begin.
Person 4: Wait…weren't there…four Celestial Warriors?
Person 5: Yes, there were. What of the last one?
Person 3: The final Warrior will soon be killed, completely without our intervention. It is quite lucky for us.
Person 1: This is all well and good…but I would like you to elaborate on all but the first.
Person 2: The second one proved to be a very powerful adversary, defeating two assassins at first, then four, and finally eight at once.
Person 4: Daaaaaamn…sounds pretty powerful. How can you have that one under your control???
Person 3: We resolved that direct opposition would be futile and waste useless lives. So we took a more indirect, and possibly more accurate path.
Person 5: And that would be…?
Person 2: Poison.
Person 1: Clever. There was no suspicion?
Person 3: Far from it. In fact, my sources tell me that currently the poison has taken effect; she is in a coma presently.
Person 4: She?
Person 2: Yes. She.
Person 5: Why, does that matter?
Person 4: No, not really…it just seems kinda dishonorable to poison a woman.
Person 1: Consider that we are trying to kill the Priestess of Byakko first. She is a woman, yet you have no objection to that.
Person 4: Oh. Duh.
Person 1: So continue. What of the third?
Person 3: At present he has been elevated to a position of relative power.
Person 1: A position of power? Which position?
Person 3: He has become the Guanjun.
Person 4: WHAAAAT? How could he…become the Guanjun???
Person 2: Apparently he has more than enough skill to have bested the previous Guanjun…
Person 5: You said that you have unstoppable plans for him. How can you get at him if he is the Guanjun?
Person 2: Very simple. We have sowed the seeds of discontent, if you know what I mean.
Person 1: Aaaaah…I understand.
Person 4: I don't!
Person 3: The previous Guanjun is jealous; we will exploit that…
Person 4: Oh, duh.
Person 1: And…what of the final one?
Person 3: That one is not only beyond our control, but we luckily need not intervene. The situation is one that can only lead to death…
Person 4: Oh, that's good for us! Right?
Person 2: Yes. It is.
Person 1: I see. Is there any other news?
Person 3: Yes. The Emperor's condition appears to be improving.
Person 1: That is quite a relief.
Person 5: I also have something to report.
Person 4: Ooh, tell!
Person 5: I have prayed to Senri-e, and I have found a way to hinder the Priestesses efforts.
Person 3: This sounds quite interesting. Elaborate.
Person 5: There is a certain mystical, important, object that the Priestess is using to help her effort. I can, to a certain length, block the source of energy to the object…
*************
(The four are once again staying the night at an inn. This time, Tatara is taking precautions against assassins.)
Tokaki: What are you doing?!?!?!?
Tatara: Telling the plants to ensnare anybody who tries to climb up the walls.
Subaru: You talk…to plants.
Tokaki: He's talking to squirrels again…
Subaru: WHAT????
Tatara: (not really paying attention) Of course I talk to plants. Doesn't everybody?
Anne: (ignores Tatara as she quietly reads the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho) Hmmm… "The Priestess and the three Stars left Mt. Taikyoku, after receiving much information from Taiitsu-kun."
Tatara: (suddenly paying attention) Is that where it starts? Is there anything before that?
Anne: Oh, let me see. (rolls the scroll open the opposite way.) "The Priestess and the three Stars entered the forest, as the storm raged above them. A lightning bolt struck them, and the four were separated."
Tokaki: This is so scary…
Anne: Hush. "When the Priestess awoke, she was separated from the Stars. She searched through the woods, not knowing that Taiitsu-kun had placed an illusion upon her as a test. When the Priestess appeared to the Stars, she seemed to be their worst nightmares." !!! I was your guys' worst nightmares???
Subaru: Uh…now that I think about it, that WAS what you looked like.
Anne: Oh, what was I?
Subaru: I can't remember…it had to do with studying.
Anne: Like a giant textbook or something???
Subaru: I honestly can't remember, but I'm sure that wasn't it.
Tokaki: I saw my Aunt Cheryl.
Tatara: Um…that's a secret.
Anne: Secret???? Tell me!!!
Tatara: It's private. No you tell!
Subaru: Oooh, Tatara has a seeeecret.
Tatara: And?
Tokaki: Whatever, who cares. It's not that big of a deal. What else does it say?
Anne: Hmm… "The Stars entered battle with the Priestess, unaware of her true identity. When she tried to tell them who she was, she ended up injuring Subaru greatly. As Tokaki dealt the final blow, the Priestess told him the story he had told her after they left Shijuen."
Subaru: What was that story, anyways?
Tokaki: It had to do with how this old fortune-teller gave me this book, and then I got arrested for supposedly "stealing" it.
Tatara: (zoned) You stole a book???? I didn't even know you could read!
Tokaki: (hits Tatara on the back of the head) Shut up! I didn't steal it, I told you, she just GAVE it to me.
Tatara: Oh. Ok. So you murdered the old lady and THEN stole the book?
Anne: (continuing loudly) "TAIITSU-KUN APPEARED TO THE STARS, and dispelled the illusion placed on the Priestess. She took the wounded Priestess and the three stars to her mountain sanctum and sent the Priestess to be healed by the Nyan-Nyans."
Tatara: (stars appear in eyes) Aaaahh…the Nyan-Nyans…so cute…
Subaru: Get over them! Go find something cuter than them!
Tokaki: I don't think that's possible…
Anne: "Taiitsu-kun explained to the Stars why…they were summoned from the other world." Explained. Explained what???
Tatara: Oh, long story short, the last Tatara fell in love with the last Priestess, and their spirits eventually settled in the real world. Taiitsu-kun couldn't reincarnate his spirit, so she summoned the seven Celestial Warriors from the our world.
Subaru: She doesn't normally do that.
Anne: Oh, I see…sorta. "The next day, the Priestess had healed fully. Taiitsu-kun explained of the cult that was trying to target the Priestess, and then they were sent on their way."
Tokaki: Talk about INTERESTING. Can you at least read something new?
Subaru: Don't get your panties in a knot. Continue, Anne.
Anne: "The Priestess and the Stars left Mt. Taikyoku," blah, blah, blah…huh?
Tatara: What's wrong?
Anne: This is odd…It's like…I can't hardly read it.
Tokaki: You can't hardly read it??? Is that a double negative???
Subaru: You know perfectly well what she means.
Tatara: Anne, what do you mean?
Anne: I'm not sure! It's like…I'm having trouble understanding it.
Subaru: Wait…has this happened before?
Anne: Only when I try to look way ahead in the scroll. This part is the near past.
Tokaki: Here, let me see.
(Anne hands the scroll to Tokaki, who looks it over. His eyes widen)
Tokaki: You're right…it's really hard to read.
Subaru: Well, let me try. I'm the best at reading Chinese in this room.
(Tokaki hands the book to Subaru, who scans the characters)
Subaru: I see what you mean…I can make out a few characters, though. I see… "four."
Tatara: Oh, it's still talking about us.
Subaru: And… "fortune-teller."
Anne: Still talking about our conversation.
Subaru: "Star." "Danger." "Assassin."
Tokaki: What????
Tatara: Another assassin??? Arrrgh, it never ends!
Anne: You'll know if anybody come in, won't you?
Tatara: Yeah, but still…
Subaru: Um…it's getting hard to read. It's reverting to Traditional now.
Tatara: I'll try. Japanese is based on Traditional. (takes the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho) Hmm… "Tokaki"…
Tokaki: What? Does it say my name?
Tatara: "Is"…"An"…"Idiot!"
(Tokaki fumes, and grabs the scroll away)
Tokaki: We are putting this away!
(Anne rolls her eyes and puts the scroll back into her pack.)
Subaru: Fine. We should get some sleep, and not worry about that assassin. They can't get in without us knowing.
Anne: Yeah. Good night, boys.
Tatara + Tokaki: Good night.
************
(Inside a tent of sorts. A dark person kneels in front of a circular pool of water, reflecting the small amount of light inside the tent.)
Dark Person: (masculine voice) Mirror, Mirror, on the ground, show me where the Priestess 's found.
(The pool of water…no, the mirror, ripples, and shows a picture of Anne, sleeping in bed. The mirror zooms out of her room and to the inn, then out to the surrounding countryside.)
Dark Person: Hmm…they are close. I will have to take pains to contact them…
*************
(Next morning. The motley crew has begun their wonderful journey yet again. They're riding into town.)
Tokaki: So…where are we going?
Tatara: We're riding! Down the road!
Subaru: That tells us absolutely nothing.
Anne: Honestly, I have noooooooo idea. We're supposed to be looking for the next Celestial Warrior…but I have no idea where we're going.
Tatara: Hmmm…well, we could go ask the fortune-teller.
Tokaki: Um…what fortune-teller?
Tatara: The one over there!
(Tatara points to a lavish-looking tent. A large, equally lavish sign sits outside the tent. It says "FORTUNE-TELLING.")
Subaru: Oh. That fortune-teller.
Tatara: See! It's a GOOD idea!
Tokaki: (sighing) Fine. We can go get our fortune told.
Anne: These things are so hokey! I didn't know that they had quacks in ancient China too…
Tatara: They are not quacks! They're up there on the Credibility Ladder with fortune cookies!
Subaru: Um…Tatara…
Tokaki: Fine. We'll go get our fortunes told if it'll make you happy.
Tatara: Oh, it will!
(The four enter the large tent. Tatara, as usual, is elated, but none of the others are. The tent's inside is not well lit. In fact, it seems rather empty. There is a lone man inside, sweeping the floor. He looks up as they enter.)
Tatara: Hi! We're here to get our fortunes told.
Man: Oh, I'm sorry. The fortune-teller left a few days ago.
(The four look at each other in confusion)
Tokaki: Wait…if that happened, why is this tent still up?
Man: Oh, we were a bit slow getting it down. Sorry about that.
(Tatara is visibly disappointed)
Subaru: Well, that's too bad. Where was she headed?
Man: She?
Anne: Um…the fortune-teller is a man?
Tokaki: I've never heard of a male fortune-teller…
Tatara: You guys are so sexist!!!!
Man: Yes, the fortune-teller is a man. A surprisingly young man, at that.
Tokaki: How interesting.
Tatara: Is he good? Like, is he a fraud?
Man: I didn't think so. Everything he said turned out true, and he revealed some rather personal secrets.
Subaru: I changed my mind. I'm liking this already.
Man: If you keep heading west, you'll probably catch up to him. Just watch out for the soldiers. They're expanding southward.
Anne: Thanks for your help, but we have to go now!
(Anne quickly leaves the tent. The three Stars look after her, then shrug and follow a bit slower. Anne has already unsaddled her horse and is in the process of mounting up.)
Anne: Come on, guys! We have to catch this fortune-teller!
Tokaki: Um…why?
Tatara: Because she wants to make me happy, of course!
Subaru: Oh, be quiet. Anne, what's the hurry?
Anne: I have this suspicion. You remember what the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho said? "Star." "Four." "Fortune-teller."
Tatara: Wait…you don't think the fortune-teller is the fourth Celestial Warrior, do you????
Anne: It all fits. The man said he was young. The Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho is talking about the Fourth Star.
Subaru: If this is true, we do have to hurry. The Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho also talked about "danger" and "assassin."
Tokaki: Of course, we could be wrong.
Tatara: I think Anne has a point. We should go after him.
Subaru: You just want your fortune told!!!
Tatara: So? That's just an added bonus. If we can find the fourth Celestial Warrior, it'll be worth it.
Tokaki: I think this is just a coincidence.
Anne: Who cares? We have no other leads right now, and even if he isn't a Celestial Warrior, he might be able to give us some hint of where the next is.
Tatara: Yes. Let's go.
Tokaki: Fine. This should be good for a laugh. Fortune-tellers. Pssssh.
*************
(The group rides from town to town. Every time, they find that the fortune-teller is still ahead of them. By the next day, he is only one day ahead of them. At noon of the second day, they ride into a tiny little town in the middle of a small copse of trees.)
Tokaki: Finally, a town. I want a break.
Anne: But we're so close! We can't stop now?
Tatara: No, I agree with Tokaki. Our horses need a break.
Subaru: Let's just find some place to rest. The fortune-teller can wait an hour or two.
Anne: Aw, fine. This town looks pretty nice. Reminds me of Lòthlorien, actually.
Subaru: Except for the lack of houses above the ground, and all those pretty lights, and all of the elves…
Anne: OK! I GET IT!
(The group enters the inn. It is a simple but elegantly constructed building, with many curves in nice wood. The only things in the entrance room are the counter, manned by a young boy; the entryway to a hallway, presumably the rooms; and a few wooden tables with chairs)
Boy: Hi! Are you guys looking for a room?
Anne: Um…not really. We're just looking for a place to rest.
Boy: Ok, if you're sure. The tables are free.
(The four sit down, happy to not be riding anymore. The boy hesitantly walks around the counter and up to the table)
Boy: Say…you guys look kinda odd.
Subaru: Um…what???
Boy: No, I didn't mean that in a bad way! Just…(he points to Tokaki and Anne) You guys don't look like you're from Sailo.
Tatara: Wow, being Asian sure comes in handy.
Tokaki: Well, actually, we're not.
Boy: Really??? Where are you from then???
Anne: Um…we're from another world.
Boy: Another world? Sweeeet!!! So, like, why are you here?
Subaru: (whispering to Anne) Are you gonna let this conversation continue???
Anne: (back to Subaru) He's just a kid. (to the boy) I'm the Priestess of Byakko, actually.
(The boy's eyes light up)
Boy: REALLY????
Tatara: Um…yeah? What's with this kid?
Boy: Then, you have to meet my friend! He's staying here!
Subaru: Who's your friend?
Boy: I dunno; I don't know his name. But he's really nice, and said that if the Priestess comes, to take her to his room.
Tokaki: Wait…he's staying here?
Boy: Yeah! He's in Room 4! Want me to take you there?
Anne: Um…we'll go ourselves.
(Anne stands up, and motions for the group to follow her. She walks into the hallway, out of earshot of the boy)
Subaru: Anne, who do you think this person is?
Tatara: You don't think it's the fourth Warrior, do you?
Anne: I don't know. For all we know, it could be another cultist assassin waiting to trap us.
Tokaki: So what are we waiting for? Let's go kick some ass!
Subaru: Or…find Max or Jeff.
Tokaki: I'd rather beat up some assassin, sorry.
Tatara: (sighs) Ok, where's Room 4?
(The group looks around. It's down the hall a bit. They slowly walk to the door, and Tokaki puts his ear up to it)
Tokaki: Hmm…I can't hear a thing.
Subaru: Should we knock?
Anne: We might alert the assassin of our presence…
Tatara: Oh well. He probably knows we're here already.
(Suddenly, the door opens, causing Tokaki to fall into the room, flat on his face. The person who opened the door is not an assassin…on the contrary, it's…)
Max: Hi!
Tokaki: OWW!!! Why the hell did you have to open the door like tha- Max!
Subaru+Tatara+Anne: Max!
Max: Um…yeah? It's me. Duh.
Anne: We're so glad it's you!
Max: Who did you expect???
Subaru+Tatara: An assassin.
Max: Um, thanks.
Anne: No, nothing personal! It's just…we've been attacked by assassins in the past, and…
Max: I know.
Tokaki: You know??? How do you know???
Max: Come in, or in Tokaki's case, get up.
(Max walks back into the room, which has five chairs around a table. The group hesitantly sits down.)
Anne: Wait…you said Tokaki. How do you know his name?
Max: Really, couldn't you guys guess? It's my Celestial power. I'm Karasuki, by the way.
(Max turns around in his chair, and points to the nape of his neck. The symbol for "investigator" glows white.)
Tatara: Wowwww!!! You're a Celestial Warrior too???
Subaru: (hitting him hard) IDIOT!!!
Tokaki: So wait, what's your power?
Karasuki: Divination. I've been keeping tabs on your journey this whole time.
Anne: Wow, cool! So…like, you know about the assassins?
Karasuki: Yup.
Tokaki: Ewww…so you saw Taiitsu-kun???
Karasuki: Yes…sadly.
Tatara: And the Nyan-Nyans????
Karasuki: Yes, and your cuteness spasms.
Tatara: Excuse you!!!
Subaru: So wait. Anne, didn't the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho talk about assassins?
Karasuki: Yes, it did.
Anne: How would you kn- oh, wait. Nevermind.
Tokaki: So what if it did?
Tatara: Duh! If it did, assassins are probably headed this way right now!!!
Subaru: Yeah! Karasuki, can you check?
Karasuki: Nope.
Tokaki: No? Why not?
Karasuki: Sorry. I've already tried scrying and general info-seeking, but
something is blocking me from seeing anything related to the assassins, or the
cult.
Tatara: The cult? How do you know about- Oh.
Anne: This is gonna happen a lot, I can just see it.
Subaru: OK, so, where do we go from here? I assume you're coming, Karasuki?
Karasuki: Of course? What do you take me for, an idiot?
Tokaki: Well, now that you mention it…
Karasuki: Don't say it. Anyways, tomorrow, I can scry for the nearest Celestial Warrior.
Anne: Tomorrow? Why not now?
Karasuki: Sorry, I've already done major scrying today.
Tatara: Major scrying?
Karasuki: Like, seeing into the future, the distant past, or seeing something without knowing where it is. It's really draining on me, so I can only do those things once a day.
Subaru: So, is there minor scrying?
Karasuki: Uh, I guess. Like, seeing a place that I know is easy, or looking into the near past is pretty simple.
Tokaki: Wow…that's so cool! I wanna be able to see the future!!!
Anne: (ignoring Tokaki) So, do you wanna just go? We have all afternoon to travel west.
Karasuki: Sure, why not?
Tatara+Subaru: Don't agree with her!!! She'll work us to death!!!
Anne: Come on, it's only to find the next Celestial Warrior!
Tokaki: Your dedication is SOOO admirable.
*************
(The group, now five, rides west until nightfall. They find an inn, as usual, and rent two adjoining rooms. Tatara sets up flora alerts around the perimeter of the inn, and the five go to sleep. In the middle of the night, Tatara wakes up suddenly as a plant "sensor" goes off)
Tatara: Uh-oh…we've got company.
(Tatara wakes up Tokaki and Karasuki)
Tatara: Wake up! Come on!
Tokaki: No…don't wanna go to school…
Karasuki: What's wrong?
Tatara: The plants have sensed an intruder, moving quickly but stealthily.
Tokaki: Your vocabulary…it's so advanced for somebody of your intelligence!
Tatara: Oh, shut up and go wake the girls up. I'll barricade the windows, but you've got cleanup duty.
(Tokaki and Karasuki go wake up Anne and Subaru, while Tatara's right hand glows white in the darkness. Little lines crawl over the window's outsides, and then grow into thick enough vines to block the entire window completely. Tatara moves into the other room, where the girls have lit a lamp)
Anne: What's going on?
Karasuki: Tatara's plants tell him that there's an assassin coming for us.
Subaru: Tatara, are you talking to plants again?
Tatara: These plants are saving your life!
Tokaki: Fine. Is the assassin getting closer?
Tatara: Actually, it's two now.
Anne: Great. Just great.
Tokaki: Hey, I'm here to protect you guys!
Subaru: I am seriously praying that the next Celestial Warrior will be both competent and able to fight.
Tokaki: Shut up! I'm your only hope!
Karasuki: And that is precisely what worries me.
Tatara: They're coming! 100 ft…75 ft…50 ft!
Anne: OK, battle stations, everybody!
Subaru: Yeah! Everybody behind Tokaki!
Tokaki: Thanks a lot!!!
Tatara: Don't worry, the plants will entangle them…they're coming up the wall, get ready!
(The vines twist viciously, but are instantly cut away. Two masked figures jump into the room, daggers drawn.)
Tokaki: It's go time! Tatara, now!
Tatara: Gotcha!
(Tatara holds out his hand and vines fly from his palm. They miss both assassins, who are now jumping at Anne.)
Tokaki: Oh, no you don't!
(Tokaki's cheek glows white, and he disappears. As one assassin flies towards Anne, Tokaki appears in front of her, moving forward with an outstretched fist. The assassin is laid low with a large *smack* However, the last assassin has grabbed the next easiest target; Karasuki. His dagger is held at Karasuki's throat.)
Assassin: (low masculine voice) Don't move, or I'll cut his throat.
Anne: Karasuki!
Karasuki: Don't worry; I'll be fine!
Assassin: What are you talking about? I'm about to kill you, fool.
(The Assassin's hand muscles flex, and the dagger moves to decapitate Karasuki…but a thin tendril of green shoots insanely fast out to the hand, and grabs it before it can finish its motion. Quicker than thought, Tokaki winks out of existence, reappearing and twisting the assassin's neck with a loud snap. The body slumps to the ground)
Karasuki: Good job, you two! Be a bit faster next time though.
Tatara: You're welcome for saving your life.
Anne: Hush. All three of you boys did well. How did you know that you would survive, Karasuki?
Karasuki: Actually, I didn't. I was trying to catch the assassin off balance, and it worked.
Tokaki: Smart…sorta.
Subaru: (yawning) Well, if this whole thing is over with, I'm going back to sleep.
Tatara: You're so calm so fast!!!!
Subaru: No, I'm just tired.
Karasuki: Wait a minute…I'm gonna try to get some info about these assassins.
(Karasuki bends down, and places his hand on the unconscious assassin's forehead. He instantly recoils, shaking his hand as if burnt.)
Anne: What happened?
Karasuki: It's a barrier, of some sort…against my powers of scrying. The person who did this must be powerful, to be able to thwart me so easily.
Tokaki: Aren't we modest tonight?
Luna: Wow, that chapter was sorta long.
Nick: And the ending sucked; majorly.
Max: I've received a note from the author: it says "I'm tired! Live with it!"
Anne: I resent my existence in such bad scenes.
Chris: I thought it was good!
Janna: Only cause you did all of the cool stuff.
Chris: So?
Jeff: I wanna come into the story!!!
Luna: You're gonna have to wait for a while; the next chapter is called "Suteki ja nai"
Nick: Which, besides being a bad FFX reference, means "It isn't elegant."