Cry
By Trickster-Jaina-Fel


Disclaimer: The universe and recognizable characters belong to George Lucas. The assorted songs belong to various artists, whom I recognize immediately below the exert. The song that inspired this ("Cry") belongs to Faith Hill. The plot, Sanar, Mikela, Lara and Nycith belong to me (if you wish to use them, ask first). I'm not making any money out of this so don't sue.
Summary: In a galaxy where the attack on the second Death Star never took place and Luke and Anakin Skywalker were killed by the Emperor, Jaina Solo and Kyp Durron meet. As their relationship progresses from friendship to much more, however, Kyp begins to slip away from Jaina and into the grasp of the Emperor. Desperate to save her husband, Jaina follows him – but at what price?
Author's Note: alright, here's the scoop: the AU starts in RotJ, after Luke leaves Dagobah. From there, he goes to meet up with Han and Leia and the Twin talk happens. There's no second Death Star. Luke leaves Leia with a lot on her mind, and confronts Vader. Vader and Luke duel. Vader returns to the Light. Emperor kills Anakin and Luke. The Empire continues. Han and Leia continue fighting with the Rebellion and, two years later, they are married. A few years later, Jaina and Jacen are born, etc. Time goes on. The Imperials are constantly after the Solo family, especially the Solo kids who have been trained as best they can as Jedi. Leia is killed when the Solo twins are about seventeen. A few years later, Jaina and Kyp (who escaped Kessel on his own and never destroyed Carida) meet. Their relationship ends up being somewhat like their 'partnership' in the EU. Our story starts three years after Kyp and Jaina meet. Enjoy :D

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They came at dawn, blasters drawn and ysalamiri by the tens. Kyp was the first to sense them, but my reflexes were quicker. I was dressed and armed when the first unit crashed through the door. In my desperation to defend us, I didn't notice that Kyp wasn't fighting properly.

It came rushing to me, though, when blackness covered my vision, the world spun, and the stun beam hit me. Kyp didn't even try to deflect it.

:::::::::::

Jaina woke in a med-bay. Disorientation came first, but not for long. It took very little time for her to recognize her surroundings - and scream.

She was in Imperial hands.

Sweet Force, take me now!

:::::::::::

Jaina listened dumbly as Kyp tried to explain. She was sick, he said. She would have died if she hadn't received medical attention. The Empire didn't want them dead - Jedi were too valuable. In fact, they were free to go whenever they wanted. Better for the Empire that they live to be found some other day than to die. Palpatine had only one condition: in trade for Jaina's medical care, Kyp would train in the Dark side.

"I won't fall!" Kyp assured her, increasingly desperate as she stared at him with blank, wide eyes. "I know better. Please, Jay, say something…"

She turned her head away and cried.

:::::::::::

Three months passed. The Imperials placed a Force-suppressing collar around my neck, because I was constantly trying to use the Force to escape. Kyp or a nurse was always nearby, making sure I didn't try something drastic. I could only stare as they prepared me for numerous surgeries and experiments, trying to find a cure to whatever illness it was I had.

Eventually, my dizzy spells became blackouts, and I spent all my time either unconscious or too weak to move. The nurses didn't need to watch me anymore. Kyp became more wrapped up in his "training", but he spent any spare time he had next to my bed.

At least, that's what I hoped - what I told myself.

I wanted to tell him that I loved and forgave him, but the words wouldn't go past my lips.

During the nights, when I was alone save the multitude of machines that were attached to my body, I cried.

How could you do this, Kyp? I wondered. How?

:::::::::::

Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
- Taking Over Me by Evanescence

:::::::::::

Jaina had begun to heal, but Kyp was still concerned about her. She wished he would just realize that this was as good as it was going to get. Every day she could feel the walls close in around them.

"If we're going to leave, we have to do it now," she whispered to him one day.

Kyp's eyes were weary, and she realized that he knew what she did. The difference was that he still felt he needed to protect her. "You're almost off the medicine," he said hoarsely, looking away. "As soon as you're cured, we'll get out of here. I promise."

She sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I love you, Kyp, but I don't think you have control over this anymore." Her gaze lowered to his. "Actually, I don't think you ever did."

He didn't reply.

:::::::::::

We were married a week after I was "cured", but I knew that things would only get worse from then on. There was a month, our honeymoon, when I thought I had been wrong. I started to hope.

But things began to crumble. Kyp didn't want to leave the Palace - the Empire - yet; he said that he didn't have to turn to the Dark side to learn from the Emperor. "By training me, he gives us a way to stop this madness," he told me, eyes aflame with fervour. "Just think, I'm 'learning' how to use the Dark electricity, and, once I know that, it's only a matter of time before I know how to block it, and then the playing ground is fair."

I only stared at him and thought, You said you were too smart to be seduced by the Dark side.

I would have preferred it if it was some stupid, foolish affair. I could have left him if it was another woman. Could have hated him, could have demanded to know why he did this.

But he didn't see himself slipping, and I dared to hope.

Hope - increasingly, it was all I had, now that Kyp's love was changing.

:::::::::::

It took three months for payment to be demanded. When it did, I resigned myself to waking up in an empty bed. Kyp would be gone - training or on a mission for his Emperor. The missions were supposed to be harmless - helping refugees, protecting Imperials from Rebels, making sure people did their jobs right. None of it should have involved killing, but I began to flinch away from Kyp's touch, knowing that the Darkness was engulfing him.

When I found out that he had a new, red lightsaber, I walked right out of the room, out of his arms, and cried.

I had lost him.

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Please R&R! :)

-TJF