Ch 11 Apologies
Haley spent the remainder of Saturday locked up in her room. She had been previously on the couch but left when her parents came back. They had asked her exactly twice, if anything was wrong. The first time had been when they had gotten back and saw that she had spent the night on the couch, and the other was when she had called up Karen, explaining that she wouldn't be able to come into work today. Her mother had asked her if anything was wrong, seeing as her "perfect" daughter would never intentionally miss work. Haley gave her the "I'm not feeling well, must be that time of the month" shpeel and wasn't surprised when she bought it. She could have told her mom that she had been abducted by aliens and her reply would have been "that's nice, dear." Clearly, neither her mother nor her father ever really listened to her. That's why she loved Karen so much, she was like a second mother to her-hell Karen was more like her real mom than her biological one. And after listening to her parents bicker for about 5 minutes, Haley had enough and decided to brave her room. She opened the door and her eyes immediately fell on the big framed picture on her desk. It was of her and Lucas when they were in the ninth grade. Haley's family had one of their huge Family Reunions and they were all at the park. Haley's eldest sister, Tara had grabbed a camera and was taking random pictures. While she was doing this, Haley and Lucas had broken away from the party and went over to the swing set. Haley sat in one of tire swings and Lucas pushed her. At first she had been having fun, but soon she became nervous and asked Luke to stop pushing her. Instead, he jumped on the swing as well, his legs wrapping around her hips and his hands on the swing's chains. They had both been laughing and enjoying themselves when Tara came and took a snapshot of them. She gave it to Haley as soon as the film had been developed. The picture was a little blurry, but Haley absolutely loved it. One could tell just by looking at it, that Haley and Lucas were very close to each other. Now, the picture felt like a slap in the face. She picked it up, tempted to throw it in the trash, but she just couldn't do it, so instead, she put the picture face down on the desk. She really wanted to take her mind off of the mess her life had become, and she still had that english paper to do, so she went to her computer and got to work. She put on the radio on low, so it wouldn't disturb her. About half an hour later, Haley had almost two sentences written. This is ridiculous, she berated herself. Come on Haley concentrate. She concentrated all right, but it wasn't on her paper, it was on the radio. She had tuned in halfway through a song and the lyrics stopped her cold.
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold on to...
Once she regained her senses, Haley leaned over and shut the radio off, in almost a blind panic. Tears threatened to fall down her face again, but she refused to let them fall. Damn Lucas, and damn that stupid song. Well, there was NO way in hell that she was going to able to work on her paper now. Haley threw down her pencil in frustration and returned to her bed. She was lying down, trying really hard not to think about anything, when she heard a knock on her door. Oh, no, not now. she groaned silently. She knew that it wasn't her parents, so that only left Nathan. He told her that he was going to check up on her sometime today. God, I just really don't want to see him right now..or anyone else for that matter. The door suddenly swung open and Haley, expecting it to be Nathan, was shocked when she saw the familar light haired brunette standing at the doorway. "Hey," Alex said softly, "you're mom said that it was ok to come up. May I come in?" Haley stared at her in surprise for another moment before faintly replying. "ok."
Alex shuffled in the door and looked around uncomfortably, before finally resting her gaze on Haley. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I mean I'm probably the last person Haley wants to see right now. She shook her head, trying to shake out the negative thoughts. No, I need to do this. I need to at least try and make things right. Man, she looks terrrible, like she didn't get any sleep last night...She probably looks as bad as I do. Alex took a deep breath and said quickly, "Look, Haley, I'm sure you don't really want to talk to me right now, and I completely understand that, but I was hoping that you'd just listen and I'd do all of the talking. I really think we need to talk, or that I need to talk. God, listen to me, I'm totally rambling on right now. It's a nervous habit of mine." she laughs nervously. "so's that. Look, I just want-needed to say that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Haley. I never wanted any of this to happen. The last thing I'd ever want would be to become between you and Lucas. I mean, I love having him in my life, well not that I love him or anything like that, but I love being his friend. That didn't sound any better did it? Anyway, I umm, I do care about him, but I care about you too, and as much as I hate losing Luke's friendship, I hate the thought of losing yours too. And I totally understand if you hate me; you and Lucas would never have gotten into a fight or lost your friendship if it wasn't for me. So I guess I just want to say I'm sorry and that from now on, I promise to stay out of your life, Luke's too, if that's what you want."
"No it wasn't." Haley finally replied after a few agonizing minutes of silence. She said it so faintly that Alex wasn't sure at first that it wasn't in her head. Alex looked at Haley who, once again, had tears in her eyes. Great, good job Alex, make her feel even worse.
"It wasn't what?" Alex asked, confused. Haley looked straight at her as she answered. " You weren't the reason Lucas and I drifted so far apart. I mean you did have something to do with it, but you weren't the main reason. There were a lot of other factors involved." Haley stopped and thought about it for a minute before continuing. "And I don't hate you. At first I thought I did, but then I realized that things between Luke and I have been changing for quite some time now, way before you even came to Tree Hill."
Alex let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. Haley didn't hate her or blame her? This was too good to be true, she was tempted to pinch herself to make sure that she wasn't just imagining it all in her head, but she didn't. Instead she looked around the room and for the first time she saw all of the pictures Haley had in her room. She noticed that there were a few group pictures of everyone, a few of people Alex didn't recognize, family? she figured, and only one of Nathan and Haley, the rest were all of Haley and Lucas- from when they were much younger to fairly recent ones. Haley saw Alex looking at the pictures, "I didn't have the courage to take them down." she said a bit sheepishly, referring to the ones of her and Lucas.
"And you shouldn't." Alex replied, "you and Luke will be able to work things out, I know you will."
"I don't think so, things have changed too much between us and everything's all...complicated now." Haley responded sadly. Complicated? Hmm, I wonder is it possible that Haley doesn't think that she and Lucas can work things out because she doesn't want to work things out, at least not in the same way as before?
"Haley, I need to ask you a question and you're probably going to hate me for asking it, but, oh well."
Haley looked at her in confusion, "ok... what is it?" No use beating aroung the bush. "Do you love Lucas, Haley?"
"Of course I do," she replied immediately. "Why else would I be so upset about losing our friendship?"
"NO, I mean do you love him?" Alex asked bluntly. "Because I gotta tell you, most people would be VERY upset about losing their best friends, but not to extent that you and Lucas seem to be taking it."
"I, I, I...don't know." Haley finally answered quietly. "I've always loved Lucas, and I had that silly crush on him when we were younger, but it's all different now."
"Ok, well let me ask you this. If you and Nathan had a similar fight and had broken up, would you be THIS devastated over him?" Her hands gestured at Haley's appearance; as she hadn't bothered to get dressed from the night before, and her eyes were red and puffy from crying all night. But Alex didn't need to hear Haley's answer because the look in her eyes said it all.
"That's a completely different situation. Lucas and I are-were best friends and Nathan and I are together." she said somewhat defensively.
"Yea, but you didn't answer my question." In fact you've tried to avoid it. she finished silently.
Haley hugged a pillow to her chest and looked away from Alex. "I...no." she stated quietly. "I wouldn't"
Aha! Finally, the truth comes out. Alex thought gleefully.
Alex left a few minutes later, feeling quite proud of herself. I haven't lost my friendship with Haley and I basically got her to admit that she's in love with Lucas. One down...one to go. Lucas, you don't stand a chance.
Author's Note:
I know I said that there was going to be Laly interaction in this chapter, but I felt that this worked better. Up next, Alex talks to Lucas, what will happen? Please keep reviewing and you will find out soon.
PS- the piece of the song I used was Good-bye to You by Michelle Branch
Haley spent the remainder of Saturday locked up in her room. She had been previously on the couch but left when her parents came back. They had asked her exactly twice, if anything was wrong. The first time had been when they had gotten back and saw that she had spent the night on the couch, and the other was when she had called up Karen, explaining that she wouldn't be able to come into work today. Her mother had asked her if anything was wrong, seeing as her "perfect" daughter would never intentionally miss work. Haley gave her the "I'm not feeling well, must be that time of the month" shpeel and wasn't surprised when she bought it. She could have told her mom that she had been abducted by aliens and her reply would have been "that's nice, dear." Clearly, neither her mother nor her father ever really listened to her. That's why she loved Karen so much, she was like a second mother to her-hell Karen was more like her real mom than her biological one. And after listening to her parents bicker for about 5 minutes, Haley had enough and decided to brave her room. She opened the door and her eyes immediately fell on the big framed picture on her desk. It was of her and Lucas when they were in the ninth grade. Haley's family had one of their huge Family Reunions and they were all at the park. Haley's eldest sister, Tara had grabbed a camera and was taking random pictures. While she was doing this, Haley and Lucas had broken away from the party and went over to the swing set. Haley sat in one of tire swings and Lucas pushed her. At first she had been having fun, but soon she became nervous and asked Luke to stop pushing her. Instead, he jumped on the swing as well, his legs wrapping around her hips and his hands on the swing's chains. They had both been laughing and enjoying themselves when Tara came and took a snapshot of them. She gave it to Haley as soon as the film had been developed. The picture was a little blurry, but Haley absolutely loved it. One could tell just by looking at it, that Haley and Lucas were very close to each other. Now, the picture felt like a slap in the face. She picked it up, tempted to throw it in the trash, but she just couldn't do it, so instead, she put the picture face down on the desk. She really wanted to take her mind off of the mess her life had become, and she still had that english paper to do, so she went to her computer and got to work. She put on the radio on low, so it wouldn't disturb her. About half an hour later, Haley had almost two sentences written. This is ridiculous, she berated herself. Come on Haley concentrate. She concentrated all right, but it wasn't on her paper, it was on the radio. She had tuned in halfway through a song and the lyrics stopped her cold.
Good-bye to you.
Good-bye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold on to...
Once she regained her senses, Haley leaned over and shut the radio off, in almost a blind panic. Tears threatened to fall down her face again, but she refused to let them fall. Damn Lucas, and damn that stupid song. Well, there was NO way in hell that she was going to able to work on her paper now. Haley threw down her pencil in frustration and returned to her bed. She was lying down, trying really hard not to think about anything, when she heard a knock on her door. Oh, no, not now. she groaned silently. She knew that it wasn't her parents, so that only left Nathan. He told her that he was going to check up on her sometime today. God, I just really don't want to see him right now..or anyone else for that matter. The door suddenly swung open and Haley, expecting it to be Nathan, was shocked when she saw the familar light haired brunette standing at the doorway. "Hey," Alex said softly, "you're mom said that it was ok to come up. May I come in?" Haley stared at her in surprise for another moment before faintly replying. "ok."
Alex shuffled in the door and looked around uncomfortably, before finally resting her gaze on Haley. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I mean I'm probably the last person Haley wants to see right now. She shook her head, trying to shake out the negative thoughts. No, I need to do this. I need to at least try and make things right. Man, she looks terrrible, like she didn't get any sleep last night...She probably looks as bad as I do. Alex took a deep breath and said quickly, "Look, Haley, I'm sure you don't really want to talk to me right now, and I completely understand that, but I was hoping that you'd just listen and I'd do all of the talking. I really think we need to talk, or that I need to talk. God, listen to me, I'm totally rambling on right now. It's a nervous habit of mine." she laughs nervously. "so's that. Look, I just want-needed to say that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Haley. I never wanted any of this to happen. The last thing I'd ever want would be to become between you and Lucas. I mean, I love having him in my life, well not that I love him or anything like that, but I love being his friend. That didn't sound any better did it? Anyway, I umm, I do care about him, but I care about you too, and as much as I hate losing Luke's friendship, I hate the thought of losing yours too. And I totally understand if you hate me; you and Lucas would never have gotten into a fight or lost your friendship if it wasn't for me. So I guess I just want to say I'm sorry and that from now on, I promise to stay out of your life, Luke's too, if that's what you want."
"No it wasn't." Haley finally replied after a few agonizing minutes of silence. She said it so faintly that Alex wasn't sure at first that it wasn't in her head. Alex looked at Haley who, once again, had tears in her eyes. Great, good job Alex, make her feel even worse.
"It wasn't what?" Alex asked, confused. Haley looked straight at her as she answered. " You weren't the reason Lucas and I drifted so far apart. I mean you did have something to do with it, but you weren't the main reason. There were a lot of other factors involved." Haley stopped and thought about it for a minute before continuing. "And I don't hate you. At first I thought I did, but then I realized that things between Luke and I have been changing for quite some time now, way before you even came to Tree Hill."
Alex let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. Haley didn't hate her or blame her? This was too good to be true, she was tempted to pinch herself to make sure that she wasn't just imagining it all in her head, but she didn't. Instead she looked around the room and for the first time she saw all of the pictures Haley had in her room. She noticed that there were a few group pictures of everyone, a few of people Alex didn't recognize, family? she figured, and only one of Nathan and Haley, the rest were all of Haley and Lucas- from when they were much younger to fairly recent ones. Haley saw Alex looking at the pictures, "I didn't have the courage to take them down." she said a bit sheepishly, referring to the ones of her and Lucas.
"And you shouldn't." Alex replied, "you and Luke will be able to work things out, I know you will."
"I don't think so, things have changed too much between us and everything's all...complicated now." Haley responded sadly. Complicated? Hmm, I wonder is it possible that Haley doesn't think that she and Lucas can work things out because she doesn't want to work things out, at least not in the same way as before?
"Haley, I need to ask you a question and you're probably going to hate me for asking it, but, oh well."
Haley looked at her in confusion, "ok... what is it?" No use beating aroung the bush. "Do you love Lucas, Haley?"
"Of course I do," she replied immediately. "Why else would I be so upset about losing our friendship?"
"NO, I mean do you love him?" Alex asked bluntly. "Because I gotta tell you, most people would be VERY upset about losing their best friends, but not to extent that you and Lucas seem to be taking it."
"I, I, I...don't know." Haley finally answered quietly. "I've always loved Lucas, and I had that silly crush on him when we were younger, but it's all different now."
"Ok, well let me ask you this. If you and Nathan had a similar fight and had broken up, would you be THIS devastated over him?" Her hands gestured at Haley's appearance; as she hadn't bothered to get dressed from the night before, and her eyes were red and puffy from crying all night. But Alex didn't need to hear Haley's answer because the look in her eyes said it all.
"That's a completely different situation. Lucas and I are-were best friends and Nathan and I are together." she said somewhat defensively.
"Yea, but you didn't answer my question." In fact you've tried to avoid it. she finished silently.
Haley hugged a pillow to her chest and looked away from Alex. "I...no." she stated quietly. "I wouldn't"
Aha! Finally, the truth comes out. Alex thought gleefully.
Alex left a few minutes later, feeling quite proud of herself. I haven't lost my friendship with Haley and I basically got her to admit that she's in love with Lucas. One down...one to go. Lucas, you don't stand a chance.
Author's Note:
I know I said that there was going to be Laly interaction in this chapter, but I felt that this worked better. Up next, Alex talks to Lucas, what will happen? Please keep reviewing and you will find out soon.
PS- the piece of the song I used was Good-bye to You by Michelle Branch