Ch. 13 Conversations

You two have been hiding under the security blanket of best friends for so long that you refuse to see that you are both completely, hopelessly in love with each other... Lucas stared at Alex in shock, he couldn't believe that she had actually said that. Haley? In love with me? He couldn't wrap his mind around it. Sure they were close and he missed her so much since their fight, but love? There's no way, Haley's just my bes-just my friend, I love her, but I don't love her. Right?

"Alex, that's ridiculus." He said nervously running his fingers through his hair. "Haley doesn't... I don't... we're just... there's no way."

"Ah, and who's the master of babbling now?" Alex challenged teasingly.

"Very funny. Yea, you're a real laugh riot. And look, you're completely off base here. Haley and I are just friends."

"No Lucas, you and I are just friends-you and Haley? That's a completely different story. Besides, it's totally obvious to everyone that you're in love with one another, except maybe to you and her." Alex saw that she still had Lucas's attention and decided that it was time to go in for the kill, in a matter of speaking. "Yea know, it's funny, she's just as stubborn as you. I mean I had to practically force it out of her, that she was in love with you." She looked straight into his eyes to see his reaction and wasn't disappointed. Lucas looked completely stunned, almost frozen in shock. He shook his head, trying to clear out his thoughts.

"Wait, Haley actually said that she's in love with me?" Lucas almost whispered.

Alex couldn't lie to him. "Well, no...not in so many words anyway, but it was implied." She said that last part quickly trying to convince him. "Besides, this isn't about her, it's about you. Don't think, just feel, and then look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you don't love her. And I don't mean as just friends." She locked her piercing green eyes with his dark blue ones. And they stood like that for a few moments, neither one of them moving as they started at each other. And then, it was all clear- Lucas broke his gaze and looked away. "Yea that's what I thought." Alex said triumphantly. "Now, all you need to do is tell her."

"I can't, it's complicated-"

"What do you mean it's complicated? You love her, she loves you. I don't see any complication in this." Alex argued.

Lucas sighed and once again ran his fingers through his hair. "Nathan." he said.

"Ohhh," Alex had completely forgotten about THAT little detail.

"Hales is happy with him, they...love each other." He managed to get out. "Besides, Nathan and I are actually getting along now, I don't wanna ruin that."

"So what, you're just going to push away your feelings and be miserable?"

"I just want Haley to be happy, and she's happy with Nathan and that's that."

"But Lucas-"

"NO." Lucas said sharper than he intended to. "Alex, please just leave it alone." he said in a softer voice, almost pleadingly.

"Ok, fine." Alex said caving in. "But I still think you're make a mistake."

While Lucas and Alex were busy talking at school, Haley had gone straight home after a grueling day of classes. As usual, she had spent the entire lunch period at the tutoring center helping a great deal of freshmen with their homework. After helping the tenth pimple faced, horny freshman, who was trying "oh so subtly" to look down her blouse, with algebra; she almost caved and went to join Nathan and the others at lunch. But than she thought of possibly encountering Lucas and that was too big a risk, so instead she tried to ignore the leering eyes and concentrate on teaching the addition and subtraction of polynomials. After lunch, Haley had bolted from the center and continued with the rest of the day which included a surprise pop quiz in Trig. and a stack of homework in Chemistry. And to top it all off, all day long her mind kept replaying Alex's conversation from the week before. Who was she kidding? That was all that Haley could actually concentrate on-Lucas and their fight, and Alex's question, and her mixed up feelings.

After school, she practically ran out, not stopping other than to say a quick hi to Nathan. As she walked home, her thoughts were jumbled once again, except now they were on Nathan. Nathan, the guy who she swore she'd hate, only to find out that there was so much more to him then "meets the eye," and she found herself falling for him. He had been there for her, and was trying to be there now, only she wouldn't let him and that made her feel incredibly guilty. This is wrong, I can't keep doing this to Nathan, he deserves better than a girlfriend who can't keep her mind off of his older brother. I need to talk to him, he deserves that much at least. She got to her house and desperately wanted to get her mind off of everything, so she got the one thing that could always make her feel better. Now, she was on the front porch, lounging on the porch swing, reading "Little Women." It was the one book that she always read to escape from reality for a while. She knew it so well that she could most likely recite the entire thing from beginning to end perfectly. She was just getting to the part where Laurie askes Jo to marry him, when she heard footsteps coming up the walk. Haley put the book down and looked up.

"Hey," Nathan said, "missed you at lunch today."

"Hi." she replied faintly.

Nathan took in his girlfriends appearance and as he looked in her eyes, he realized that second by second he was losing her. Her eyes were cloudy and distant. He sat down next to her and resolved that even though it was slowly killing him, he was going to do the right thing. She looks so miserable, and there's nothing I can do to help her. I love her so much, but it isn't enough anymore.

"Haley, we need to talk." She looked up at him in surprise at the intensity in his voice. "Hales, I don't think that we should be together anymore." He said softly. Haley's eyes immediately filled with tears, and Nathan wanted to kick himself for hurting her.

"Why?" she asked brokenly. "I don't understand." Although she did, and he knew it too.

Nathan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Haley, I love you. More than I ever thought I could love someone, but recently I've realized that you don't feel the same." She tried to interupt, so he put up a hand to stop her. "No, let me finish. I've never been the kind of guy to do the honorable thing. Until I met you, I really was an arrogant, selfish jerk. And that all changed when I met you, you changed me Haley. I'm a better person because of you."

Haley now had tears streaming down her cheeks, "so than why are you breaking up with me?"

"Because, for once in my life, I am trying to do the honorable thing. I always knew how close you and Lucas were, and there was always some part of me that wondered when you were going to wake up and figure out that you love him and not me. I'm not saying that I'm thrilled with the idea of you being in love with my half brother, cuz believe me, I'm not. But all I want is for you to be happy, and if that means stepping aside so you can be with Lucas, than that's what I'm gonna do." Silently, he was wishing for her to deny all of this, to throw her arms around his neck and tell him that she loved him, but she didn't. She just sat there with a sad look on her face. Haley felt terrible and very guilty, but she knew that she couldn't be with him when she was in love with someone else.

"I don't want to hurt you." she whispered, and any hope Nathan had of being wrong about her feelings disappeared. He put his arms around her, pulling her close to him and wished that they could stay like this forever.

"I know, but sometimes we don't always get what we want, do we?" He replied into her hair. "And I think that you're the reason I've learned to accept that. You're the first person I truly fell for, Hales, and it's going to take some time to get over you."

Haley hugged him tighter and allowed him to kiss her on the mouth for one last time. Then, he looked deeply into her eyes, almost as if he were memorizing them, and similar to Lucas, he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm so sorry Nathan." Haley cried.

"Me too." he answered softly. He then got off of the swing, looked back at her again before finally walking down the steps and headed to his car. As Haley watched him go, she felt her her heart breaking slightly. I wish that I still loved Nathan as much as she loves me. Things with Luke and I are still so messed up and there's a very good possibility that nothing will ever happen between us, then Nathan breaking up with me would have been pointless....No it wouldn't, because it wouldn't be fair to Nathan and it still wouldn't change the way I feel about Lucas. She argued silently with herself. She sighed and picked up her book again, hoping to get lost in the wonderful world of fiction. Where life isn't so complicated and it all usually ends up with a "happily ever after," or at least something like it. She read a few more pages before deciding to give up and go back inside. She trudged up the stairs and into her room, and picked up a framed picture of herself, Lucas and Nathan all smiling happily, on her nightstand. She sighed and put the picture back down. Nope, books are nothing like real life at all.

Author's Note:

I'm not really happy with this chapter, it kind of bounces around a bit. I don't think it came out well, sorry that it's so terrible, but PLEASE review anyway.

Up next, the confrontation between Lucas and Haley that everyone's been waiting for. Please review.