I Like Hobbits!
Ok this is TOTALLY avoiding my other Hobbit Fic, Tales Within the Legend,
but....i couldn't help it! This JUST hit me, and I had to write it before I
lost it! I'll update TWTL as soon as I get my head straight...hopefully soon.
Anyways, this came to me as I was listening to this song called 'I like
Chinese' over and over.....i figured out a word to substitute..... 'I like
Hobbits'! so I'm gonna try my hand at a song fic....here we go... oh wait! I
don't own the song 'I like Chinese' or the fellowship(mostly the Hobbits).
Kay? No sueing! You'll get- (panicks) I-um, I don't have any money! Nope!
None! That means YOU can't have it if you sue!...moving on! a little bit o'
Frodo/Sam in the beginning, but I just HAD to throw that in! =D I'm a big
Frodo/Sam shipper, I'm afraid....
"I'm bored. Are you bored, Merry?" "Yes, Pip. But I'm more annoyed by YOU
than I am bored." "what?" "nevermind Pippin!" Sam looked at Frodo. He was
just staring off into space. "are you alright, Mr. Frodo?" Frodo looked at
a concerned Sam at his side "yes, Sam. I'm fine. Just...tired." Sam looked
thoughtful for a moment. "why don't you use your Sam as a nice pillow and
get a little shut eye, Mr. Frodo?" Frodo looked at him a moment, then
crawled into a snuggling embrace with his Sam. Legolas and Gimli watched
from afar. "d'ya think there's more between those Hobbits than just
friendship?" Gimli asked in his usual gruff tone. Legolas scoffed at the
dwarf's thickheadedness. "of course there is! How could you have not seen
it before? There's obviously been something else for quite some time..."
the elf looked thoughtfully at the two hobbits laying against the tree in a
loving embrace. 'yes, probably before the little halflings even left the
Shire...' he thought to himself. Meanwhile, Pippin and Merry were beginning
to get on Gandalf's nerves with their constant complaining of boredom. "I'm
so bored I could eat a sack of poisonous mushrooms and not know the
difference!" "I'm so bored I could not eat anything for a whole day and
think nothing of it!" "...really, Pip?" "of course not!" "then why did you
say it?" "I didn't think you'd take it seriously!" "well of course I
would!" "how would I know?!" by now, he had had quite enough. "ALRIGHT! WE
GET IT! YOU'RE BORED! If I find something for you to do, will you SHUT
UP?!?!?!?" as you can see, it had REALLY gotten to him... "sure as the
Shire!" they said in unison. Instantly, from out of nowhere, Gandalf pulled
out an acoustic guitar "ooohhhh!!!!" Merry and Pippin were obviously amazed
with how Gandalf could do this seeing as they hadn't been invented
yet....this, then, caught the attention of Boromir, Gimli and Legolas, and, a
little bit of Sam's, but not enough to make him move from his snuggling
position with Frodo. And Frodo? He's asleep. So they all gathered 'round,
'cept Sam and Frodo, who were close enough anyways. And Aragorn began to
sing....
Middle Earth today seems absolutely crackers.
They all nod.
With Oliphants to squash us all to death.
There's fools and idiots sitting on their thrones.
They all look at Boromir. "what?"
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
They only come up to you're knees
Merry and Legolas demonstrate this by standing next to each other.
Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to please.
I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
There's nine hundred million of them in Middle Earth today
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say
Merry, Sam, and Pippin all nod
I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
They come from a long ways away
But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.
Sounds of Fan Girls screaming(including the author) are heard. Sam holds a
sleeping Frodo a little tighter.
I like Hobbit food!
The waiters never are rude!
Think of the many things they've done to impress.
There's second breakfast, elevensies, smials and weed.
Merry, Pippin, and Sam chuckle and nod. Frodo begins to wake up.
So I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
I like their tiny little pipes.
Their feet, their mushrooms, their beer and tunics.
I like Hobbit thoughts!
The wisdom that Bilbo taught.
If the One Ring is anything to shout about,
The Hobbits will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
They only come up to your knees
Again, Merry and Legolas demonstrate this. Frodo sits up in Sam's lap.
Yet they're wise and they're witty and they're ready to please.
Sam and Frodo share a special smile at that innuendo.
All together!
Frodo suddenly stands up and begins doing his weird little dance from FOTR.
Everyone stares. They shrug and form a cancan line(Frodo included). They
sing.
I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
Their weed is guaranteed to please!
Northfarthing, Southfarthing, the West and Toby!( 1)
I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
I like their tiny little pipes!
Their feet, their mushrooms, their beer and tunics.
The Fellowship(with the exception of Gandalf, who is playing guitar) are
all cancanning....and I'm sure Gandalf would too, ESPECIALLY in that robe...I
mean can you picture that?
Frodo takes over guitar. "SOLO FOR GANDALF!" the Hobbits call out.
I like Hobbits!
I like hobbits!
Gandalf cancans as you would while wearing a dress "IT'S A WIZARDING
ROBE!"....riiight. so, he's cancanning, and singing by himself. Then everyone
joins in('cept Frodo, he's playing guitar), for one last encore.
I like Hobbits!
I like Hobbits!
And then they were done. They went they're separate ways. Frodo and Sam
went back to their tree, Legolas went...somewhere, Gimli sat and smoked his
pipe, Aragorn went to the shore, Merry and Pippin sat down again and
complained about being bored, and Gandalf remembered he had to be fighting
the Balrog, so he jumped down that pit again. But, not before adding "FLY YOU FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
as he fell. And Sam asked Frodo "how did you know how to play that thing?"
"Gandalf taught me. But there are things I could show you that I learned by
experience...." "what?" "oh nothing, love. Shall we make out now?"
And that's the story. sad, huh? Oh yeah, it was hard to put words in
there to make it seem like.....normal. sorta. The (1) is b/c......I couldn't
figure out the different kinds of weed....so...I just....well, it's probably all
wrong, but I don't really care. Anyways, flame me, praise me....i dunno. I
just wanted to write this. I don't really care if you don't like it. If you
do like it, great. Tell me so. Anyways, yeah....see ya!