Disclaimer: Same as last chapter, we still don't own Candy, Joe, or Cochise, despite our repeated requests to David Dortort. Although I doubt Mr. Dortort will try and lay claim to the ghost town here.
Notes: Be warned of our very odd gallows humor.
One Simple Task
by Greywolf Lupous and Kimba Lyall
Chapter 2: "Spinner Town"
"What's with the long face? Is the town boring?" Candy looked between the sky and Joe's apprehensive face. "I don't think we have much time for you to bite your lip and look pensive too long. Besides, we'd only be staying until the storm blows over. Not much time to have fun anyway."
"I take it you haven't been to Spinner Town before, huh? Hoss and I went there the last time we returned from San Francisco. It gives me the creeps," Joe turned Cochise around to the general direction they needed to take. "Even if it's only until the storm blows over, that's still too long... but I guess we really don't have much of a choice with those clouds. C'mon, it's this way."
Joe began to lead the way, with Candy close behind. There was an ominous rumble from the horizon as low-lying black clouds seemed to curl themselves around the hilltops in the distance. A sudden gust of wind hurled itself at the two riders, and seemed to envelop them.
A shiver ran down Joe's spine, and he kicked Cochise into a full gallop with Candy in hot pursuit. The weather continued to decline all the way to the outskirts of Spinner Town. Once there, the only visible signs of life were a few stray dogs roaming around. Broken down wagons lay on the sides of the streets as old pieces of clothing scattered to and fro. The street was littered with broken glass, and the horses had to step carefully to avoid the debris.
The wind picked up again as another clap of thunder sliced through the silence surrounding the town. Cochise reared up and refused to take another step, "Easy Cooch. I know, I don't like the idea of being here again either."
He patted the horse's neck soothingly and glanced over at Candy, "Welcome to Spinner Town, or what's left of it."
Cochise reared up again, whinnying seemingly at the buildings. Not too far behind them, Dusk didn't seem to be taking to the town much better as he rolled his eyes and did his best to turn in the opposite direction. Both riders dismounted keep from being thrown.
Candy glanced around the deserted streets, wondering maybe if the rain and sleet would have been better, "Well Joe I have to say, this lively place will rival San Francisco any day. Heck, I think it even beats New Orleans on Mardi Gras."
Candy's gaze caught on a torn up, abandoned doll of a little girl that looked like it had been used as one of the stray dogs chew toys. He shook his head sadly and continued to stroke Dusk, trying to calm him down for the second time that day.
"We'll have to see if the saloon lives up to the rest of this town's reputation," Joe said with a smirk, trying to ignore the hairs rising on the back of his neck. They lead their horses down the street towards the hotel, "Well, I don't think we've got any worries about getting a room."
"Yeah, that's what the fellows who wound up camping outside of town said too," Candy studied their surroundings, unable to decipher one ramshackle building from another. "Speaking of which, where is this grand hotel?"
"Oh, so you're holding out for the fancy beds, eh? Well my friend, the Grand Hotel is right this way," Joe said as he led them off to the side. He tied Cochise up to the hitching post, rubbing the horse's forehead, "Sorry buddy, but even in a town like this they don't allow horses inside."
Candy tied up Dusk and together they approached the door. Joe reached out and barely touched the door handle, before it fell inwards with a loud thud, covering Joe with dust.
Candy looked at his dust-covered friend, but could only manage a smile because of the concern of the stability of their shelter, "I certainly hope we have first floor rooms. Not too sure I'm going to trust those stairs."
Joe coughed and tried to wave away the dust, "Yeah, well I just hope it's not nearly as dusty."
They walked in over the rather useless front door. The front desk was deserted, but there standing at the bar, cleaning out a mug was none other than...
"Barleyman? Teddy Barleyman! What are you still doing here?" Joe rushed over to greet the friend he and Hoss made they last time they visited.
Ted seemed a bit startled at their presence, and it took a few moments for it to register who was shouting at him, "Well if it isn't Joe Cartwright! Ain't this a surprise, what brings you to town?"
"The storm caught Candy and me here unexpectedly," Joe indicated his friend, who shook the bartender's hand as he returned the greeting.
After the introductions were over, the grin still hadn't disappeared from Ted's face, "Well I hear the storm is going to be a big one this time. You might even be with us a few days."
"Days?" Joe groaned and covered his face with his hands.
Candy eyed the area cautiously. Even from a distance he could have sworn this was a ghost town. Then again, looking at the worn down state of the buildings, he probably still could, "So Ted, when does the party around here stop? A fellow has got to get some sleep some time you know."
Ted frowned at Candy, "Party? What party? We ain't had a party since-"
Joe cut him off, "Just give us the keys to room four, Teddy."
Ted nodded and abandoned the bar to root around in the front desk. After a few moments he found it, and handed Joe the key, "Thanks Ted. So, what happened here? Where'd all the rest of the people go, though I can't say I recall seeing too many the last time I was here."
"Well," Ted's voice dropped a few decibels, "we had a bunch of injuns come through here about a month or so back. Killed off some of the town's folk, the rest left saying the place is haunted. A load of cod's wallop if you ask me! Pssh, ghosts..."
Joe raised an eyebrow, "Ghosts, huh? Well, I think we'll just go freshen up a bit. Who here takes care of the horses?"
"Don't worry about them, I'm on it," Ted assured him.
"Thanks Ted!" Joe threw the keys to Candy, "how 'bout I let you open this one, huh?"
"You're too kind," Candy caught the keys, then slung his bedroll over his shoulder and stopped at room four, "That one there needs to buy a sense of humor; would be a good investment."
"Well not everyone can be as charming as you Candy," Joe rolled his eyes.
"Don't I know it," Candy began to fiddle with the lock to the door, "And Indians? Might get a bit interesting here."
"That's something I'm hoping against. My trip has been interesting enough, thank you," Joe tapped his foot, before his friend finally figured out the lock and pushed the door open. A sudden gust of wind blew the door completely open with a bang.
"Trust them to leave the window open..." Joe shook his head as he walked in, unceremoniously dumping his gear onto the bed. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to warm the chill that seemed to be collecting there.
Candy walked in after him, setting his bedroll on the bed and the key on the nightstand in between. He shivered as he began to unpack the bedroll, "You going to close that window or just let the cold air freeze us out?"
"I would do that, if it was open," Joe said, eyeing the closed window with interest.
"That's odd, I guess there's a crack in the wall somewhere," his friend shrugged it off and finished readying his bed.
Joe continued to study the room while he rubbed his face with his hands. It was going to be a long and cold night.
Candy flopped down on his bed, "You going to be okay?"
"I'm fine," he groused back and fixed his bedding. He lay down, trying to ignore the chill, "Remind me never to come here again!"
Candy looked over at his shivering friend and without warning chunked his bedroll at him, "Oh for crying out loud, take the blanket from my bed roll!"
Joe managed to grumble a thank you as Candy crawled under the blankets already provided on the bed, "Don't worry Joe, we'll beat the rain if we have to. Besides, this town is way too dusty for my tastes. And no women."
"Yeah, got to have women," Joe chuckled as he drifted off to sleep. Outside a flash of lightning signaled the beginning of the storm that had threatened to be loosed all day.
A cold drop of water on his face awoke Joe from his light slumber. He shivered violently, still feeling as if it was the cold air blanketing him, and not layers of blankets. He opened his eyes to look at the ceiling, but he saw nothing. Outside he could hear that the rain had stopped for the moment.
Joe glanced over at Candy, who was sleeping rather peacefully, and wondered how he could sleep so easy in such a creepy place. He tried to shrug it off and closed his eyes again. He was just starting to doze again when a few more drops landed on his face. He sputtered and opened his eyes again, "Leaky roofs too? I'm going to have to-"
He stopped talking as he saw water hovering over him and quickly sat up as the floating mass of water moved out the now open door. Glancing over at the still slumbering Candy, Joe decided to leave him be. He needed to confirm his insanity before telling anyone about it. He slipped out of bed, taking enough time to slip his boots back on, before exiting the room.
Joe looked around the empty lobby of the hotel, and glanced over where the front door still rested on the floor. He could see a hazy form standing on the fallen door. It resembled a man, but seemed out of focus and almost transparent. He rubbed his eyes and tried to get closer. When he was only a few feet away, it felt like someone threw a bucket of ice water all over him.
He yelped as the water soaked his skin. The wind picked up, chilling him to the bone. Joe watched in a state of shock as the, was it a ghost?, moved out of the hotel and down the street. Almost as if in a trance Joe followed it out into the night.
The ghost seemed to be heading for the edge of town, leaving a trail of water behind him. The sodden Cartwright followed the trail, determined to figure out what was going on. At least that was the only sensible explanation he could come up with for following ghosts into the middle of the night.
When he reached the edge of town, the ghost floated up a few feet, then vanished. A speechless Joe looked around helplessly, when the sky seemed to rumble again. The wind picked up again, and without warning the sky opened up, dropping bucket loads of rain onto him.
"DAMN IT!" he shouted into pouring rain.
* * * * *
Candy awoke slowly, stirred by something entering the room. He sat up and looked around through bleary eyes, barely able to make out that Joe wasn't in his bed. He rubbed his eyes, trying to shake himself further awake, "Joe? You here?"
At the foot of Candy's bed stood a little girl, barely seven years old, "Papa?"
"What the...?!" Candy jumped to his feet, sure that he didn't see her there a few moments before. He shook his head, reminding himself it was only a little girl, "How'd you get in here?"
"Papa! I can't find my dolly anywhere. Help me find it, Papa!" she exclaimed, before bursting into tears.
"No, no, no, don't cry!" Candy knelt down in front of her, "I'll help you find it."
That seemed to dry her tears some, and she looked at him with hopeful eyes. A memory of a ratty doll filled his mind, "I think I know exactly where it is."
"I miss her, Papa. You know she gets scared when I'm not with her," the child sniffled and grabbed a hold of Candy's hand.
He couldn't help but shiver at the touch, and something in the back of his mind told him that something in this situation was wrong. He pushed it away, too tired to deal with trying to analyze the situation, "Okay, I'll show you... but why do you keep calling me Papa?"
She looked up at him confused, but didn't say anything. He shook his head and led her out of the hotel, and down the street that they first came in on, where he remembered seeing the torn up doll. He pointed to it as it came into sight, "Is that it?"
The child's face lit up and she ran over and scooped it up. Hugging it close, she turned back to Candy, an expression of apprehension suddenly taking over her young face, "Papa! Who are those men?"
She pointed behind him, and Candy whirled around to see several Indians, whooping, hollering, and dressed up in war paint charging towards them. Instinct took over and he ran towards the girl, but something made him trip.
The little girl screamed and dropped her doll, "Papa!"
He looked up from the dirt too see an Indian gallop past and scoop her up, "No!"
He rolled over, determined to help her, just in time to see a lance swinging down at him. A scream tore from his throat, as the spear closed in towards his face... and the Indian seemed to ride literally through him.
Candy was frozen to the spot, taking in deep ragged breaths, knowing that a horse that should have trampled him, and a spear that should have skewered him, disappeared into thin air. He stared ahead, too scared and too shocked to move.
* * * * *
Joe had just started back up the steps towards the hotel when the rain stopped. He paused, confused at the sudden turn in the weather. A scream sliced the sudden silence, and Joe's feet were moving before he assigned the sound with a name, "CANDY!"
He rounded a corner to the street that they'd come in on to see his friend lying on the ground, in a complete state of shock. He fell to his knees, taking his friend's shoulders into a rough grip, "Candy! C'mon buddy, speak to me!"
The touch seemed to bring him out of his shock, and his eyes focused on Joe, "I... they... they took her."
Joe released his grip and rocked back on his heels, feeling relief course through him, "What are you talking about? Who took who?"
"The little girl, she was looking for her doll," Candy raved, waving his hands about trying to convince Joe the validity of his statement, "and then the Indians came and I thought they were going to kill me and then they disappeared!"
Joe rubbed his arms trying to ward off the chill of the night, and unsuccessfully smothered a cough, "Indians? Girl? You must have been sleepwalking. You sure you're okay?"
"I'm not the one walking around at night with wet clothes trying to invite pneumonia!" Candy snapped. He pointed to the doll lying on the ground, "And I wasn't dreaming, the girl came out to get this and they attacked!"
Joe dissolved into a sneezing fit before he could reply. When he regained control of himself, he pushed himself to his feet, "Well I certainly didn't asked to be drenched. It was like a ghost made out of water... or something."
He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, "I told you I didn't want to come here. Come on, I've got to get out of these clothes."
"See, it's not crazy when YOU see a ghost!" Candy grumbled, and then raised his voice to a more audible level. "Yeah you better. I'm not taking you back with a cold. You know how many weeks of pay I'll get docked for that?"
"I didn't say it was CRAZY, I just don't know what I saw! And mumble all you want, I'll just be lucky to get back home in one piece the way we're going. I'm a grown man, Pa's not going to come running every time I stub my toe!" Joe snapped back before starting back towards the hotel, "I'm going to get a hot bath, since YOU seem fine."
"Don't forget to wash behind your ears!" Candy called after him.
"Very funny!" Joe didn't slow or look back as he disappeared down the street.
Candy turned and looked back to where the little girl had been, and found himself walking over there. He picked up the doll and gently turned it over in his hands. He decided that a talk with Ted was in order, and headed back to the hotel as well.
Joe stopped when he got to the lobby, deciding maybe that getting more wet wasn't the best of ideas. Making a mental rain check on the bath, he stood there trying to piece together the events of the night. Candy's entrance interrupted his musing. He threw his friend a sour look and headed into their room, still wet.
The room seemed even colder now that he was soaked, and briefly he was taken back to his youth, standing in the doorway of his room, afraid of the shadows stretching towards him. He shrugged the memory off and entered.
Quickly he changed into a dry set of clothes, wishing that he could get a better insulated room. Joe sat down heavily on the bed, trying to organize his thoughts.
* * * * *
Candy entered the lobby. Catching Joe's annoyed look, he ignored it, knowing it was just Joe being Joe. Without a word to his friend, he headed over to the bar to find Ted. He found it empty, and looking like no one had tended to it for a long time.
Now more confused, Candy headed back out to the street, wondering where Ted could have gotten off to in such a small town. Wandering aimlessly in one direction, he wondered if he should just head back to the room and forget about talking to Ted for the night. He'd be there tomorrow anyway, right?
He had just about made up his mind when he heard music coming out of the saloon. It wasn't great music, more like someone who was taught that the piano made sounds by randomly pressing keys. As awful as the noise was, it was a sign of life; so Candy headed in that direction. The saloon inside was brightly lit, although the outside looked just as neglected as the rest of the town.
He walked in, wondering what he'd find this time.
* * * * *
It was still cold, Joe noted as he sat shivering in the darkness. This room wasn't warming itself up anytime soon, so that left him finding a warmer place. With a growl he pushed himself up and wandered out into the hall. The stairs seemed to draw him, and after a slight hesitation, he began his ascent.
He walked down the hall a ways, ignoring the locked rooms, until he found a somewhat spacious room that didn't have such an icy touch to it. To his surprise the fireplace already had a roaring fire. He rushed over, feeling the icy touch of the other rooms leave him, "Finally!"
In one of the easy chairs across from the fireplace sat an older man with a friendly smile, "Well young man, I'd invite you to join me, but it seems you already have."
Joe spun around in surprise. Everything was sneaking up on him tonight it seemed, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think the room was taken."
He gave Joe a friendly smile, "Nonsense, I'm glad to have the company. The night seems colder than usual, although this room is quite nice."
Joe smiled back, put more at ease by the warmth of the room, "Well thanks, I think I'll take you up on that offer."
He took the other easy chair next to the man and felt himself melt into its comfort. Finally, he thought, something normal. He glanced over at his newfound companion, "So where are you from? Sorry, I didn't catch your name."
"My name is Edward Fairfax. I'm from England, just passing through before I continue my hunting trip. And you young man?"
"Cartwright. Joe Cartwright. It's a pleasure to meet you Edward," Joe smiled and tipped his hat. "Me and my partner are on our way to San Francisco on business. Maybe you'd like to join us. This town isn't exactly the best travel spot."
"That's very thoughtful, Mr. Cartwright, but I'm afraid I can't. I'm stranded in this town for a good long while, and since I left from San Francisco, it wouldn't make much sense to travel backwards would it?" He smiled at Joe, to let him know it was a joke. "May I inquire of your business in San Francisco? By the looks of you, I'd say you're in the ranching business, curious that you'd travel so far."
"Yeah, I do ranching. My Pa owns a large spread called the Ponderosa. Ever heard of it?"
Edward shook his head, "Sorry young man, I have not. I'm not too familiar with this area, just my bad luck to be stranded here."
"Well why stay? This town is dead, I wouldn't stick around here for anything! You sure you wouldn't like to come? We could use another person to talk to," Joe's eye caught the bottle of brandy on the table, "Do you mind?"
"Not at all," Edward grabbed the bottle and poured Joe a glass, handing it to him. "And I'd be careful how you describe the town. The residents are a bit touchy on semantics these days. By the way, you mentioned a traveling partner, where is he?"
Joe sipped the brandy, feeling it warm his insides, "Oh Candy? He's probably out playing with his dolly."
* * * * *
Candy walked into the saloon. As run-down as the outside looked, the inside seemed to be in fairly good shape. A lone saloon girl was trying to entertain the customers, a few players sat at a card table, and Ted stood behind the bar, wiping down a mug with a rag.
Candy frowned and walked up the bar, "Hey Ted, been looking all over for you. I didn't know the saloon was still open, you know it looks pretty run down from the outside?"
Ted placed the mug on a shelf behind him, "I like to keep the place clean, with so many coming people coming in and out."
"I thought you worked at the hotel," Candy looked confused.
"Well I work at the hotel, but also help out here when needed," Ted shrugged, "So how are you and Joe holding up? I hope the room's all right. Since the storm is over I guess you'll be leaving in the morning then?"
"Yeah, it moved on through pretty quick. From Joe's mood, I think it'd be best if we left soon."
One of the patrons stumbled up the bar, grabbing Ted's attention, "Hey Teddy! Give me a beer, will ya?"
Ted filled a mug from the tap and handed it to the man, "That's your fourth one already. Maybe you ought to cut back a bit, eh?"
The man grumbled something and staggered back to his table. The saloon girl sauntered up to Candy, her blue dress accenting her curves, "My, my! I haven't seen you around here. What's a handsome man like you doing in a town like this?"
She leaned in close, running a finger down Candy's chest.
* * * * *
"Residents? This place seems deserted, with the exception of you and Ted," Joe swirled the traces of brandy around. "I wonder why he's still here. I wouldn't have picked Ted to be the sort to hang around after the party."
"Oh, the residents are still around, don't doubt that. It sounds like your friend met one of them: little Penny. Every night she chases after that doll, poor child," Edward shook his head sadly. "Just remember, some of the others in this town are not nearly as accepting to what happened as I am, I'd be careful of what I'd say if I were you."
"So there really was a girl then?" the comment caught Joe off. "Candy mentioned something about Indians taking her away. Do you know anything about that?"
He paused, remembering his own encounter, "I was off chasing this water thing when that was happening. I don't suppose you have any answers to that as well?"
"Yes, there really was a girl, just as there really were Indians. I know much of what's gone on in this town," Edward stood, headed over to the fireplace, and picked up a box of tobacco. An arrow now visibly protruded from his back, "but first, would you care for a smoke?"
Joe set his fourth glass of brandy down, staring at the arrow in Edward's back, "The brandy must have been stronger than I thought."
He rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Nope, it was still there, "Ahh Edward, I really hate to put a damper on the subject, but do you realize you have an arrow sticking out of your back?"
"Oh yes, I'm afraid it's been there since the Indian attack," Edward took a puff off of his pipe, "you sure you don't want a smoke?"
Joe jumped back, knocking the chair over. He lay on the ground, muttering to himself, "It's just a dream... no wait! It's a nightmare. It's not like a nightmare can get any worse..."
Edward walked over and looked down at Joe. The youngest Cartwright squeaked, "What am I saying? It always gets worse!"
"I'm not going to hurt you young man, but there are folks in this town who will if you're not careful," with that said Edward sauntered back over to the fire. "I sit by this fire every night, to try and ward off the chill this town gets."
"I... I... what's going on here?" Joe stuttered, trying to pull himself off the floor. "You're telling me that everyone here is dead? Is that what you're trying to tell me? That right now I'm talking to a dead guy?"
His voice neared hysteria, "Oh great, I'm sitting here, drinking brandy by the fire with a dead guy!"
Joe paused, a horrible thought striking his alcohol numbed mind, "Ohh god! Am I dead? That's it! I must have died!"
"You, young man, are drunk," Edward picked up the decanter of whiskey, "off of ghost brandy." He gave Joe a sympathetic smile, "Meaning that's not real either lad, it's all in your mind. Just take the time to calm down and you'll realize that."
* * * * *
A shiver ran down Candy's spine as the saloon girl traced her finger across his chest. He grabbed her hand to remove it, finding it ice cold. The room wasn't nearly cold enough for that to be happening, "Um, I'm sort of stranded here until the morning and... ma'am are you all right? Your hand is like ice."
"Oh, that's so sweet of you! Caring about me and not even knowing who I am. You know that's the sign of a true gentleman. It's a pity the locals aren't like you!"
Candy smiled at her nervously.
"Would you like to dance?" She grabbed a hold of Candy's arm.
"Actually, I have a sick friend at the hotel I need tooooo-"
She ignored him and pulled him out on the dance floor. Turning to the piano player, she motioned for him to play something other than the piece he was currently ruining.
A chill swept over Candy as she wrapped her arms around him, "Ma'am, I'm sorry but something's just not right..."
"What's the matter? Haven't you ever danced with a lady before?" she held him tighter as the music started up, taking the lead.
As the song progressed, the saloon girl began to turn a blue hue, and an icy wind began to whip around the room.
"What in the hell?" Candy let go of her and tried to wriggle out of her grasp, "You're... you're not well..."
The lady smiled at him, her lips tinged blue, and looked as if her entire body has been frostbit, "Forget well! You're not alive!"
At Candy's last comment, the music stopped, and the entire room's attention snapped to Candy. The lady in blue stepped away from him, silence descending all around them.
* * * * *
"Calm down?!" Joe continued to babble. "How can I possibly be calm now? I'm loosing my mind, that's it! I'm not dead, I'm just losing my mind!"
Joe's mouth continued to run ahead of him, as his brain had been left too far back with the sight of an arrow in Edward Fairfax's back, "Maybe even none of this is real... maybe I'm back home at the ranch and I'll wake up and all of this will have been a dream!"
"I'd really hate to have to call over Harold to get you to make some sense. You looked positively frozen before, but if dumping cold water will bring you to your senses, so be it," Edward clicked his tongue, still puffing away at his pipe. "You know being high strung like that is not good for your nerves at all. You'll die of a stroke at thirty if you keep that up."
"Oh, and that's suppose to make me feel better?!" Joe rocked back and forth, arms encircled around his knees. "Who's Harold? And you're telling me that talking to a figment of my imagination is healthy for me?"
Edward shook his head with a sigh, "You are in denial."
"You didn't answer my question-"
"Which one?"
"I want to know who Ha..." Joe groaned, feeling a headache coming on. "This is too much! One person can only take so much... here I'm sitting talking to a ghost. Candy's probably wandering around with his dolly. I have no idea what's going on, and I'm probably just sitting here ranting to myself..."
Joe covered his face with his hands, "Can anything be simple for me? Nooo, it has to be complicated!"
Edward sighed, "You give me no choice. I must sober you up. Harold!"
The hazy man from before appeared, except now he looked more human; like a wet man, with haunted eyes. He looked over at Edward, annoyance radiating off him, "What now? You know it's a real pain having to run around and try to warn people about flash floods and storms, much less you calling me here at all hours of the night."
Edward raised an eyebrow, "You know, for a ghost you sure do complain a lot. I need you to help my friend here," he indicated Joe.
Joe's eyes nearly tripled in size as "Harold" floated over to Joe, before promptly drenching him with icy cold water for the second time that night. Joe sat on the floor for a moment, blinking water out of his eyes. Then the shock wore off, and he allowed himself to scream.
* * * * *
"I just said something wrong, didn't I?" Candy asked the patrons, seemingly calm.
The card players nodded, causing their scalps to fall off onto the ground.
"SWEET JESUS!" Candy backed into the bar. "You're all ghosts!"
"Hey! We prefer the term livingly challenged!"
"It doesn't matter what you prefer! You're still dead! Now get back in the ground where you belong!" Candy waved his arms frantically.
"Hey! We don't tell you where to hang out!" One of the card players bit back annoyed.
"Well I'm not dead!"
"Stop calling us that!"
"And what if I don't?" Candy sneered, but then decided that probably wasn't the smartest things to ask. "Um, no, just forget I said that."
All the ghosts in the saloon began advancing towards Candy.
"No, um, what are you doing? No, no, no, that's really not necessary. Please. Oh crap."
By now he was surrounded by angry ghosts.
"Oh lord, not good, not good. Ted!" Candy looked over behind the bar, where Ted had been before he was drug out onto the dance floor, but the area was vacant. "Damn! What a time to run out on your fellow mortal in need!"
Candy spotted an opening and tried to make a run for the door but skidded to a halt as one of the ghosts stepped in front of it. They began to close in, backing him into a corner. His mind raced, trying to think of a way out, "Get back or I'll... I'll..."
Candy put his two index fingers together in the shape of a cross, "The power of Christ compels you!"
They kept coming, "Oh come on! Isn't enough that you stop in the name of God?!"
They kept coming, "Guess not."
* * * * *
"Oh, I really wish you wouldn't do that, it's quite annoying," Edward winced and covered his ears.
"Happy now?" Harold asked. "He's not babbling."
"Oh you did your job! Go ruin someone else's night!"
"Gee, the thanks I get."
"Oh, get!" And Harold disappeared. Edward looked at Joe beseechingly, "I do say, please stop screaming. Despite popular opinion, loud screeching noises still hurt the ears of the dead."
Joe stopped screaming, and took in ragged breaths, "OHH GOD!"
Joe backed up until he found his way out of the room, then turned and ran like the dickens for the street, now determined to find Candy.
* * * * *
The ghosts were closing in, brandishing scary knives, sporks, machetes, one even waved a noose in the air threateningly.
Candy took this in under a calm façade, "Okay, last resort... TED! JOE! ANYONE LIVING! HELP!"
Out on the street Joe heard the cry for help and bolted towards the saloon. He stopped just outside of the doors, calming himself, "I'm coming Candy!"
Joe charged through the door, coming to a sudden halt seeing all of the ghosts advancing on Candy, "The things you get yourself into Canaday."
"Not helping Joe!"
Joe's mind raced. Think Joe! Think! What's the one thing that can get their attention? Joe clicked his fingers as a thought struck him. That's it!
Casually, he sauntered up to the bar, "Hey! Who wants a drink? First round is on me!"
Candy groaned and buried his face in the wall, "I'm gonna die..."
The ghosts stopped advancing on Candy and looked at Joe, "Well, you know I am kind of thirsty..."
"Yeah, let's hang him later."
"I thought we were going to carve him up."
"No, we were gonna feed him to the stray dogs, piece by piece."
One by one, the ghosts filed away for the bar. Candy lifted his head off the wall and watched dumbfounded. When they were fully distracted, he snuck quietly over to Joe, "I've got to hand it to you. Only you'd appeal to a ghost's thirst."
"I'm good, what can I say? How'd you get them so stirred up anyway?"
"I told them they were dead."
At that comment all the ghosts looked back at them. Candy's face contorted in a way that could only mean "damn it!" while Joe pointed behind them, "Look! It's the Angel of Death!"
They all looked, and both men made a run for it, outside the saloon and down the street.
"We've got to get out of here!"
"You don't have to tell me twice!"
Joe and Candy reached the hotel, where the horses were tied earlier, except now it was obvious that they had gotten loose. Joe turned to the tracks shouting, "Cochise! You coward!"
Candy slapped his hat on the hitching post, "Damn it Dusk! That's the second time today you've left me in my time of need!"
The foreman glanced back in time to see the mob exiting the saloon, "Okay, Joe, we need a new idea!"
Joe looked around frantic, "We have to go to the one place you wouldn't possibly die!"
"Oh, I get it, so they can't follow us there. Quick! To the church!"
"The Church? No, the cemetery! No one dies there!" Joe replied, hearing the ghosts' angry mutterings.
"Um, Joe, where do you think they rise from the dead from?"
There was a moment's pause, then, "What about the livery?"
"Things can die in the livery, like horses!"
"Okay, so we'll be haunted by a bunch of dead horses all night. Or would you prefer to face them?" He pointed to approaching crowd.
"You know Joe, the livery sounds great!" Candy caught his eye, and they both took off running towards it at the same time.
Joe made it first. Without thinking he quickly opened the door, ran in, and shut it.
"JOE!"
He opened the door and Candy rushed in, "Sorry about that!"
Together they slammed the door shut and barricaded it with whatever they found close by. They made their way to the back of the livery to wait.
For a long while, it was quiet. Candy sat on his haunches, trying to figure out what to do next if they decided to break into the livery. After a few minutes, he felt courage enough to whisper, "Hey Joe... you think it's safe now?"
Joe shivered, the chill in the livery reminding him that he was soaking wet. "How should I know? Why don't you go outside and find out?"
Candy shrugged, "I guess..."
He stood up and headed towards the door.
"CANDY! I didn't mean it literally!" Joe shook his head and stood up as well, "I thought you were supposed to be keeping me out of trouble, not the other way around."
"I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one who brought us here in the first place! Seems like that might put some of this trouble on you."
Thunder rumbled again, and rain began to patter on the roof.
"Oh, so now it's all my fault is it?" Joe snapped back. "You were the one that wanted to come, not me! So the way I see it, I'm not responsible."
"Yeah, like I knew a thing about this place! You think I wanted to nearly be killed by ghosts, not once, but twice?!"
Candy growled and headed for one corner of the livery.
"I didn't know everyone was dead!" Joe headed to the other corner, yanking off his wet shirt. "Last time I was here everyone was still in the land of the living!"
"Oh yeah, and it's my fault, not because I killed them, but because they're dead? And don't like the fact that they're dead? How was I supposed to know that?! It's not like someone popped up and said to me 'By the way, don't tell the ghosts they're dead, they're really touchy on that subject.' Did you?!"
Edward's warnings suddenly took shape in his mind. He decided to ignore them, "Well since you feel so badly about that, why don't you go out there and apologize! 'Oh I'm sorry if calling you dead offended you! Next time I come across a dead guy, I'll be sure not to mention it!'"
"Geez, tell me to go, tell me to stay, tell me to go. Make up your mind," Candy snorted and leaned against the corner sliding down into a sitting position, "Oh, and don't worry, I'll stand guard. And if any mobs of ghosts come in I'll sacrifice myself very valiantly, and maybe eventually, I'll be forgiven for bringing so much trouble onto us all."
"Oh don't go out for my expense! I can handle myself just fine, wouldn't want you sacrificing yourself for nothing!" Joe pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned against the back of the wall.
Candy rolled his eyes, "Just get some sleep Joe, you need it more than I do."
"What? And let you keep guard?" he unsuccessfully smothered a yawn, "Then who's going to back you up? Nope, I'll stay awake... just in case..."
He yawned again, his eyes getting very heavy. The night had taken its toll, and it wasn't too long before Joe was huddled in the corner, fast asleep.
Candy watched as Joe slipped off to sleep. He turned back to watch the doors of the livery, much too awake with the events from the past few hours to even think about sleeping.
* * * * *
The rain stopped for good sometime during the night, and as soon as light peeked under the door of the livery, Candy stood up, stretching his back.
He made his way over to Joe and shook his shoulder to wake him up. Joe just mumbled something unintelligible and turned sides. Candy stood back up, looking down at his sleeping friend, "Well, I'm checking outside. Fear not, if I don't return, I've just been eaten alive by hordes of angry ghosts."
Candy smiled ruefully, then opened the door to the livery and peered outside. It seemed nice and peaceful enough. He exited, deciding to look around a bit, maybe find the horses and their gear before trying to wake Joe up.
Through his sleep, Joe could vaguely hear Candy leave. The light pouring through the open door of the livery slowly roused him. He opened his eyes to find that the light began to make his head pound, "I think I must have drunk too much... hey Candy?"
Joe looked to where Candy had situated last night, but found the spot empty. Through the pounding in his head, he remembered something being said about being eaten up. He jumped up, probably a bit too quickly. When the world decided to stop spinning the youngest Cartwright made his way outside, picking up his somewhat dry shirt on the way. His journey outside was rewarded with the warmth of sunlight. He looked around, but saw no sign of Candy.
Candy first headed over to the hotel and picked up their gear. Then he went in search of their faithful steeds. He found them grazing a small ways outside of town, "Well, nice to see you guys found some nice grazing land. You sure left us in a spot there back in town."
Dusk and Cochise unanimously decided not to care, and kept eating the grass.
"All right you two," Candy grabbed Cochise's reigns and mounted up on Dusk, "let's get back to town, pick up that ornery bearcat who calls himself Joe, and get away from this spook town."
The more Joe wandered around town, the more unsettled he felt. Heading back to the hotel, he found all of their gear gone, "Damn it Candy!"
Joe exited the hotel in time to see Candy riding up with Dusk and Cochise. Joe stalked over to them and snatched Cochise's reigns before mounting up, "Well thank you for letting me know where you were!"
"You're welcome. 'Oh, don't mention it Candy'. Sure Joe, that's why we get along so well, your ability to see that the universe doesn't revolve around you. 'Yeah well, sorry for being snappy, you know how it is.' Yeah, ghosts and all, I know exactly how that is," Candy recited the conversation to himself, making his voice a few pitches higher when doing "Joe's" voice. "Oh and here's breakfast."
Candy handed him a stale biscuit, "It's all I could find on short notice."
Joe took the biscuit and managed a small smile for his friend, "Thanks."
Munching on the biscuit, he turned Cochise towards the end of town, and San Francisco. As they were riding past the town's graveyard, a gust of wind picked up and blew their hats into the graveyard. Joe grumbled and jumped off his horse to retrieve his hat, "Damn it!"
Candy sighed and dismounted Dusk in a bit more orderly fashion, and followed his hat to where it landed. Looking around the large graveyard Candy felt a chill race up his spine. It was so big, for such a small town, "No wonder everyone left. I think there were more graves than citizens."
Joe ignored Candy and bent down to pick up his hat from the tombstone it landed on. As he removed his hat, he was able to make out the markings on the tombstone.
Teddy Barleyman
Killed in an Indian Raid
Joe knelt next to the grave, "No! Not Teddy!"
He looked back at the town, the pieces starting to click together in his mind. They were all dead, but like Edward said, they refused to accept it, and lived on each night as if they were still alive. He turned back to the grave, spotting the tombstone next to it.
Harold Holt
Killed in a Flash Flood
The revelation left Joe shocked. He stood up shakily. Candy gave him a sympathetic look and bent down to pick up his hat. His eyes raked over the grave of little Penny Walker. Also killed during the Indian attack, with her pa's gravestone is right next to her.
"So her name was Penny..."
"Rest in peace Teddy Barleyman," Joe put his hat back on and vaulted back up onto Cochise, then sat waiting for Candy.
Candy knelt down next to the grave, taking out the doll from where he put it earlier and placing it on the grave, "Well, I hope this means you don't spend every night searching for her. Maybe you can join your Papa now, huh?"
With a sad smile he stood up and started walking way. He noticed the headstones of the patrons of the bar and the saloon girl, "Good riddance!"
Without any more stalling he climbed up onto Dusk and turned to Joe, "Let's get to San Francisco before we meet Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny."
Joe nodded with a half smile and followed the foreman down the trail. He stopped for a moment, sending the town a final glance. With a thought echoing Candy's sentiments regarding the bar patrons, he whirled back around, and set his steed in a canter to catch up with his companion.
The journey for the next hour was a silent one, with only the sounds of the horses' breathing and the steady rhythm of their hoofs beating the ground breaking the quiet.
It was Joe who finally spoke up, "Hey Candy, look I'm sorry for what I said earlier..."
"Oh no, that's fine. You know I've really made a habit out of raising spirits from the grave. A talent you know?" he shrugged. "How's your cold?"
"It's fine. Just don't go bringing any spirits around me, I've had enough to last a lifetime," Joe smiled, "I think I lost it for a few minutes back there with all those ghosts."
His grin was broken by a sneeze, "Well maybe not... but let's get on to San Francisco. I could use a real beer right about now."
"I hear that. Those are the only kind of spirits I want to see for a good long while," Candy nodded in agreement, as both companions continued to make their way down the trail to San Francisco.