New Generations
Beefy Writer
A/N: Hello! Sorry for the other story but it was a joke. This one will be serious (I hope).
Nghi's Note: Note that this is a humor fiction. Please don't take anything too seriously. =]
New Generations
"Joey!" Yugi yelled happily, "It's been too long since we have last met in Battle City Tournament! Come have tea and crumpets with me!"
"Hey Yugi, you're right! It's been SO long! I'd love to!" He smiled, walking in step with his best friend. "So how's it going?"
"Fine! I've been taking care of Teia and her yeast infection. I have no idea where that sprang up from!" In the midst of the mingling in the middle of the... um... park, yeah, park, Kaiba suddenly popped out of an ivy bush with the latest rocket launcher model on eBay. "Mwhahaha!" he cackled, popping a few grenades and missiles before running away.
They died. Actually, anyone within a five-mile radius died, too.
A few weeks later, Tristan received the sad news of how his friends died (Incineration complications.). He was sad, confused, and depressed... then he read that people saw Kaiba speeding out of the park, and he became angry. Almost like the Incredible Hulk... except he wasn't green. "I WILL REVENGE YOUR NAME, YUGI!!! (And you, too, Joey. But I like Yugi better.)"
Turning purple with rage, he searched his smelly closet and found a bat before stomping over to Kaiba's house to kick a certain someone in the head. Reaching his enemy's super duper, ultra big mansion (That was in dilapidated conditions...), he rang the doorbell and hid in the rose bushes, where he was dying from some blood loss because of the thorns. Mokuba opened the door, greeting whoever was out there with a 'Hello!' Tristan calculated wrong and jumped out with a bat— he bitchslapped Mokuba on the forehead with the weapon, and the poor kid... er, man, died. "... Oops." He walked away. "I swear I will kill you, Kaiba." He vowed, his eyes glaring with dark menace. He accidentally tripped over Mokuba's unconscious body, but kicked it into the thorn bushes, cursing.
With that in mind, Tristan took a cab to Kaiba Corp., where he pushed past the protesting secretary and headed to the main room. He found Kaiba working on some top-secret Duel Monster contraption that would probably backfire on him. "Hey you, fatso prune!"
"Wha—?" Kaiba made the mistake of turning around, where he found Tristan's bat waiting. BITCHSLAP He was bleeding, bleeding, too much blood loss!
He died.
With all the commotion, it was no surprise that several thousand security guards came barging in, and when they found a scraggly, fat man bent over Mr. Kaiba, they killed him with a stun gun. Before they stunned him to death, he said in defense, "But he would've died anyways! This machine gives off ultraviolet rays that would zap your skin! He'd have cancer moles the size of my head! (And those ivy bushes were deadly!)"
The guards contemplated this for... oh, about three seconds. They still zapped him to death. Then they had all had donuts and coffee, congratulating each other on a hard day's work.
Finis