Author's Note: Thanks to all my reviewers, this is dedicated to you! Aly
[my sister's sister], Fool Moon, Ginny, CanadianVamp, and Katameran, you
guys really made my day. Don't worry Katameran, I haven't lost my
inspiration, and when I read other people's stories I see the odd things
that they think of, and I wish I had thought of them first for my stories.
Aw well, great minds think alike, greater minds think for themselves, [Or
so the genie in that Aladdin cartoon used to say in between shows on "One
Saturday Morning" on ABC when I was a little kid.
Chapter 3
The characters take their seats in the Top Box, and ready themselves for the Quidditch International Trophy.
"You know, all this fading is actually kind of convenient. It gets us places faster, and moves the plot along, even if it does kind of give me a headache." Harry said. He looked around the Top Box happily.
[My point exactly.]
"Yeah, and we got to avoid meeting all of those important characters from the ministry, that later in this story will become major plot devices." Hermione said, rolling her eyes. She was promptly hit in the head with a bowling pin.
"You know, the bowling pin thing was okay in last chapter, but Jill should really think up something new, it would give the story more...flair. Maybe Jill should use pillows!" Ron looked into the parallel dimension of author land with a look of hope on his face.
[Maybe your right.] Ron grins at his cleverness. [But pillows are so boring. Maybe I should use anvils! Like in the Looney Toons! Oh! Fun! Thanks Ron!] Ron blanched.
"Yeah, thanks Ron." Harry said sarcastically.
"Or, you now, you could stick with the bowling pins Jill! It can be your trademark..ugh...thing. Anvils are so overrated! Besides, what about budget cuts?" Ginny told the author quickly, surprising everyone.
[Maybe you're right midget. I think I'll stick with the bowling pins. But next time, keep your mouth shut; you're not due to grow a personality until book 5.] Ginny sulks.
Suddenly the lights in the Top Box dim, and horror music plays in the background. The Malfoys enter. Lucius has his hair slicked back, as does Draco, Narcissa's hair is slicked forward like that little girl in the movie, The Ring, she is also suspiciously decayed looking.
The music stops, and the lights change back to normal. Lucius limps over to his seat with a gangster swagger, brandishing his Pimp Cane like a scepter. His robes billow about him impressively as his house elf follows him with a fan. His wife and son follow.
"Potter." Draco hisses.
"Malfoy." Harry retorts.
[Ooh, they dazzle me with their witty banter.]
Suddenly Harry's look softens. He can't stand such an insult from the love of his life.
Harry didn't specify which Malfoy he was speaking to, and Lucius gives Harry a piercing stare.
"Potter." Lucius sneers. Lucius was secretly in love with Harry.
"Lucius." Arthur Weasley sneers. Arthur was secretly in love with Lucius.
"Weasley." Lucius sneers. He hasn't specified which Weasley, and Ginny answers to him.
"Luscious, I mean Lucius." Ginny reddens. She almost let the world know her true feelings towards Mr. Malfoy.
"Ginny!" Hermione says, shocked. Hermione was secretly in love with Ginny.
"Granger!" Ginny answers.
"Granger!" Draco spat. He had to be mean to her, no matter how much it broke his heart, he couldn't let his family know that he loved a Mudblood.
[Note: 'Mudblood' is not changes, seeing as how it is self explanatory, and even those 'Bloody Americans' should be able to pick up on it's obvious meaning, and infamous history of profanity.]
"Granger!" Ron called, secretly in love with Hermione.
"Weasley!" Hermione calls back.
"Fred!" George calls, secretly in love with his twin.
"George!" Fred calls, equally enamored with his brother.
"TWINCEST!" The audience yells. Mothers cover their children's eyes, and the forty-year-old perverted men lean toward the screen expectantly.
There is no telling what this name game leads to.
[I would tell you, but I'm sure your mind could think up something ten times as raunchy. So enjoy!]
By the time the inhabitants in the Top Box are done doing the dirty, the match is over. Nobody really cares who won.
They all go to their tents that magically appeared in a camp ground for them, that smell suspiciously like Mrs. Figg.
[Gee, I wonder why. Don't we all? Perkins, naughty, naughty old man.]
That night there is much screaming to be heard in the campground.
Harry and Ron were rudely awoken by the Authoress, who was hitting them with bowling pins.
"Wha?" Ron asked unintelligently.
[The campground is being attacked by Bunny Eaters.]
"Wha's a bunny eater?"
[Duh, someone who eats bunnies. Or Volder's supporters.]
"I thought they were called Death Eaters." Harry said stupidly.
[They were, but we didn't know if the 'Bloody Americans' knew what a Death Eater was, so we tried to change the name, but then we couldn't think of what to change it to. Besides, 'Death Eater' is so...morbid, we had to change it to something more socially acceptable. Well, that, and our movie audience is a bunch of ten-year-olds.]
"Morbid? This from the sadistic little girl with the bowling pins."
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny ran into the conveniently placed forest next to their tent.
[Ginny was still sulking about her lack of personality.]
"Shut it, bitch." Ginny scowled.
[Would it cheer you up if I told you that in the next book that you're a skanky whore?]
Ginny brightened considerably.
As Harry and Co. were running into the forest, Ron tripped. Harry and Hermione stopped to help him up, and Fred, George, and Ginny seized the opportunity to ditch them, and ran into the darkness to... [I'll let your imagination finish that sentence.]
As the trio stopped, they realized that Draco Malfoy was standing against a tree.
"Potter, Weasel, Mudblood." Draco sneered.
"Malfoy." Harry said softly, barely containing his glee.
"What are you doing out here?" Ron asked angrily.
"I'm protecting my family heirloom." Malfoy has his father's pimp cane.
"What's that? The Malfoy Holy Grail, or Holy Hand Grenade, or whatever the hell that is." Harry asked.
"Right now I call it a pimp cane." Malfoy answered, acting rather standoffish. "But what's it to you."
"Fine. Don't have to get SHIRTY with me." Harry said angrily.
"I'm not SHIRTY!" Malfoy insisted. "What IS shirty? That's not a word." But he was not annoyed; he was calm.
"Whatever, we best be going now." Harry said, turning to his friends, not meeting Malfoy's eyes. He couldn't stand arguing with the man he loved.
"You're a DOPE!" Malfoy called out to him.
"I'm a WHAT?!" Harry turned, completely baffled.
"You're a dope, and a bonehead, and...and you're SHIRTY!"
Harry could only stare at Malfoy, but then asked, "Have you gone completely carrot top?"
"This is all an act Harry! Can't you see that? I am so head over heels for you, that I didn't mind Jill's horrible reference to "End Of Days." Episode 21, Season 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!"
"Oh, Draco!" Harry called.
Ron and Hermione, who were standing with their mouths hanging open, both pull out bowling pins, and whack Harry and Malfoy over the head with them. They pull Harry's unconscious body further into the woods.
"Wha-What happened?" Harry asked.
"You confessed your undying love for Malfoy."
"WHAT!? JILLIAN PREWETT I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!"
[(Evil Grin.)]
Sorry about the horrible BTVS Reference, may the Powers that Be (Or M.E.) smite me for my horrible indignity to the greatest TV show ever. But, I honestly couldn't help it. PLEASE REVIEW! EVEN THOUGH THIS CHAPTER WAS UNWORTHY OF ANY SUCH RECOGNITION! [Goes and irons her hands, much like a house elf punishing herself.]
Chapter 3
The characters take their seats in the Top Box, and ready themselves for the Quidditch International Trophy.
"You know, all this fading is actually kind of convenient. It gets us places faster, and moves the plot along, even if it does kind of give me a headache." Harry said. He looked around the Top Box happily.
[My point exactly.]
"Yeah, and we got to avoid meeting all of those important characters from the ministry, that later in this story will become major plot devices." Hermione said, rolling her eyes. She was promptly hit in the head with a bowling pin.
"You know, the bowling pin thing was okay in last chapter, but Jill should really think up something new, it would give the story more...flair. Maybe Jill should use pillows!" Ron looked into the parallel dimension of author land with a look of hope on his face.
[Maybe your right.] Ron grins at his cleverness. [But pillows are so boring. Maybe I should use anvils! Like in the Looney Toons! Oh! Fun! Thanks Ron!] Ron blanched.
"Yeah, thanks Ron." Harry said sarcastically.
"Or, you now, you could stick with the bowling pins Jill! It can be your trademark..ugh...thing. Anvils are so overrated! Besides, what about budget cuts?" Ginny told the author quickly, surprising everyone.
[Maybe you're right midget. I think I'll stick with the bowling pins. But next time, keep your mouth shut; you're not due to grow a personality until book 5.] Ginny sulks.
Suddenly the lights in the Top Box dim, and horror music plays in the background. The Malfoys enter. Lucius has his hair slicked back, as does Draco, Narcissa's hair is slicked forward like that little girl in the movie, The Ring, she is also suspiciously decayed looking.
The music stops, and the lights change back to normal. Lucius limps over to his seat with a gangster swagger, brandishing his Pimp Cane like a scepter. His robes billow about him impressively as his house elf follows him with a fan. His wife and son follow.
"Potter." Draco hisses.
"Malfoy." Harry retorts.
[Ooh, they dazzle me with their witty banter.]
Suddenly Harry's look softens. He can't stand such an insult from the love of his life.
Harry didn't specify which Malfoy he was speaking to, and Lucius gives Harry a piercing stare.
"Potter." Lucius sneers. Lucius was secretly in love with Harry.
"Lucius." Arthur Weasley sneers. Arthur was secretly in love with Lucius.
"Weasley." Lucius sneers. He hasn't specified which Weasley, and Ginny answers to him.
"Luscious, I mean Lucius." Ginny reddens. She almost let the world know her true feelings towards Mr. Malfoy.
"Ginny!" Hermione says, shocked. Hermione was secretly in love with Ginny.
"Granger!" Ginny answers.
"Granger!" Draco spat. He had to be mean to her, no matter how much it broke his heart, he couldn't let his family know that he loved a Mudblood.
[Note: 'Mudblood' is not changes, seeing as how it is self explanatory, and even those 'Bloody Americans' should be able to pick up on it's obvious meaning, and infamous history of profanity.]
"Granger!" Ron called, secretly in love with Hermione.
"Weasley!" Hermione calls back.
"Fred!" George calls, secretly in love with his twin.
"George!" Fred calls, equally enamored with his brother.
"TWINCEST!" The audience yells. Mothers cover their children's eyes, and the forty-year-old perverted men lean toward the screen expectantly.
There is no telling what this name game leads to.
[I would tell you, but I'm sure your mind could think up something ten times as raunchy. So enjoy!]
By the time the inhabitants in the Top Box are done doing the dirty, the match is over. Nobody really cares who won.
They all go to their tents that magically appeared in a camp ground for them, that smell suspiciously like Mrs. Figg.
[Gee, I wonder why. Don't we all? Perkins, naughty, naughty old man.]
That night there is much screaming to be heard in the campground.
Harry and Ron were rudely awoken by the Authoress, who was hitting them with bowling pins.
"Wha?" Ron asked unintelligently.
[The campground is being attacked by Bunny Eaters.]
"Wha's a bunny eater?"
[Duh, someone who eats bunnies. Or Volder's supporters.]
"I thought they were called Death Eaters." Harry said stupidly.
[They were, but we didn't know if the 'Bloody Americans' knew what a Death Eater was, so we tried to change the name, but then we couldn't think of what to change it to. Besides, 'Death Eater' is so...morbid, we had to change it to something more socially acceptable. Well, that, and our movie audience is a bunch of ten-year-olds.]
"Morbid? This from the sadistic little girl with the bowling pins."
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny ran into the conveniently placed forest next to their tent.
[Ginny was still sulking about her lack of personality.]
"Shut it, bitch." Ginny scowled.
[Would it cheer you up if I told you that in the next book that you're a skanky whore?]
Ginny brightened considerably.
As Harry and Co. were running into the forest, Ron tripped. Harry and Hermione stopped to help him up, and Fred, George, and Ginny seized the opportunity to ditch them, and ran into the darkness to... [I'll let your imagination finish that sentence.]
As the trio stopped, they realized that Draco Malfoy was standing against a tree.
"Potter, Weasel, Mudblood." Draco sneered.
"Malfoy." Harry said softly, barely containing his glee.
"What are you doing out here?" Ron asked angrily.
"I'm protecting my family heirloom." Malfoy has his father's pimp cane.
"What's that? The Malfoy Holy Grail, or Holy Hand Grenade, or whatever the hell that is." Harry asked.
"Right now I call it a pimp cane." Malfoy answered, acting rather standoffish. "But what's it to you."
"Fine. Don't have to get SHIRTY with me." Harry said angrily.
"I'm not SHIRTY!" Malfoy insisted. "What IS shirty? That's not a word." But he was not annoyed; he was calm.
"Whatever, we best be going now." Harry said, turning to his friends, not meeting Malfoy's eyes. He couldn't stand arguing with the man he loved.
"You're a DOPE!" Malfoy called out to him.
"I'm a WHAT?!" Harry turned, completely baffled.
"You're a dope, and a bonehead, and...and you're SHIRTY!"
Harry could only stare at Malfoy, but then asked, "Have you gone completely carrot top?"
"This is all an act Harry! Can't you see that? I am so head over heels for you, that I didn't mind Jill's horrible reference to "End Of Days." Episode 21, Season 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!"
"Oh, Draco!" Harry called.
Ron and Hermione, who were standing with their mouths hanging open, both pull out bowling pins, and whack Harry and Malfoy over the head with them. They pull Harry's unconscious body further into the woods.
"Wha-What happened?" Harry asked.
"You confessed your undying love for Malfoy."
"WHAT!? JILLIAN PREWETT I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!"
[(Evil Grin.)]
Sorry about the horrible BTVS Reference, may the Powers that Be (Or M.E.) smite me for my horrible indignity to the greatest TV show ever. But, I honestly couldn't help it. PLEASE REVIEW! EVEN THOUGH THIS CHAPTER WAS UNWORTHY OF ANY SUCH RECOGNITION! [Goes and irons her hands, much like a house elf punishing herself.]