Part IV

She turned her head away and looked out of the window, trying not to let him see her anger. Bad enough she had shown her weakness so openly. How could she get so weak in front of him? What was wrong with her? What were they sitting here for anyway? It was way too late for talking.

Examining her profile like he had done for what felt like a million times, he tried to come clean with himself. Was he really expecting her to be honest with him? Did he really believe this could help to solve the mystery he hadn't been able to get to the bottom of for the last seven years? Wasn't he just stalling?

"What was it with you and Faheen?" he asked.

Her head spun around and he could tell by her face that it was the last question she had been expecting. He had caught her off guard and she knew it. She tried to hold her ground but in the end she turned her eyes away from him. Just for a second but long enough for him to feel comfortable.

"What about him?" she replied, meeting his gaze again, standing firm now. "He's dead. You were there."

"You said you didn't wanna meet him because you were afraid he would shoot you. But I went over the footage we got from your camera and from what I could tell he wasn't that much of a threat to you, Nina, was he? In fact he seemed quite relieved to see you out and alive. What exactly did you tell him anyway?"

"Look, Jack, you told me to lie to him, so I did," she stated dismissively.

"Yeah," he said and there it was again - the sneering smile in his face. He knew. He knew what she had told Faheen. Of course he did. If he had taken the time to watch the video footage he wouldn't have missed getting hold of a transcript.

"I have no problem believing that everything you said was a lie," Jack continued, "but I think it actually meant something to him." He examined her closely while he continued. "Was he in love with you?"

He was looking for some kind of confirmation, signs of unease or discomfort. But instead she lifted her chin up and folded her arms, breaking into one of her superior, triumphant smiles.

"So that's what this is all about?" She tilted her head. "Why don't you ask me what you really want to know then?"

He understood the implication but decided to ignore it. "I asked about Faheen," he repeated instead. "He seemed very caring and even more disappointed when he found out that you'd sold him out."

She made a disappointed face and shook her head lightly, maintaining her smile. "Because he was planning to detonate a nuclear device, remember? I was just trying to help."

"Right."

"Actually I was, Jack. It was in my very best interest to stop that bomb and if you wouldn't have interfered things would have run a lot more smoothly."

Anger washed over his face but she just returned his gaze coolly.

"Interesting. Especially with the thought in mind that you helped setting up that bomb."

She sighed. "I told you - I never knew what the endgame was."

"Right. And you didn't know they were gonna bomb CTU either. You just sold the plans."

"Exactly." Of course that was a lie and she could tell he didn't believe her. Hell, she hadn't believed her own lie for a second even though she had tried so hard. No one had told her what they were gonna do, but when they had asked her for the plans to the building it hadn't been that hard to figure out. And a part of her had accepted it as a fine solution, bombing away the last attachment to her old life, to everything she'd left behind while she had held on to her lie.

"Anyway," she said unfolding her arms, "this isn't really getting us anywhere." Determined she slipped from her stool and took a stand, defiantly glaring at him.

Slowly getting up as well, Jack lifted his arm and leveled the gun with her head.

"What, Jack?" she yelled angrily. "You're gonna shoot me? We've been waiting for you to pull that trigger for the last seven years. Now do it or get that fucking gun out of my face!"

That threw him so completely, he could only stare back at her. She was right. He had been waiting for this all these years and at times it had been the only thing keeping him going, keeping him alive and sane. And now he was standing here finally in the position to take his revenge without any consequences other than her death. And wasn't that the whole point? For her to die? And if not, what was he doing here?

She tried to hide her own surprise, ignore the question where that apparent death wish came from that had made her challenging him like that. But what confused her even more was his reaction. He was standing as still as she was, just staring at her without as much as blinking. There were no signs of a struggle, none of the familiar indications. His hand was steady and not even overly clenched, he wasn't sweating and his breath seemed neither bated nor quickened. And there was this strange serenity to his face that she had noticed earlier but still couldn't really fathom. He almost seemed casual.

Still glaring at him angrily she backed off and slipped back on her stool. She had to calm down and get a grip around the situation that she felt more and more getting out of hand. Focus! After all, she was still alive. She needed time to figure this out. To do what exactly then? Whom are you kidding - time won't get you anywhere. It never did in the past and it won't now either.

"Why don't you save us some time and disappointment and ask what you really wanna know?" she urged him anyway, trying to play along until she could come up with something better. She didn't really see an alternative.

"Why didn't you kill us?" Jack finally asked. Still he hadn't moved but she found the sound of his voice somehow reassuring.

"Back at CTU in the control room," he clarified. "Why didn't you kill us?"

"I told you, I had no interest in hurting Kim." Her voice was steady and calm again and verified that she was getting back to her old self again. And who's that exactly?

"And me? Why didn't you kill me? Why didn't you pull the trigger?" he pressed her.

She shook her head. "The shot would have given away my location. Someone would have heard it. And if not that, Kim would have gotten hysterical. I didn't need the attention."

"Bullshit, Nina. Your location was exposed the moment you triggered the fire alarm. You could have finished us of without letting it slow you down on your way out."

"Believe what you want, Jack, I told you my reasons."

"I don't want to believe anymore," he hissed menacing. "I want to know." His eyes piercingly urging her. "The truth."

She cast her eyes down. Right. The truth.

Now what was the truth? She had been asking herself the same question over and over again. The truth was, she hadn't had the intention of killing Kim, not after she had noticed she wasn't a threat. And even with Jack there she hadn't been sure about how far she was willing to go. Would she really have gone through with it, taking Kim with her if Jack had taken his chances? Killed her too just to prove she was capable? Truth was, she didn't know. She didn't know now and she hadn't known back then. For the first time ever she had been playing her cards without knowing if she was bluffing or not. A risky game, especially with the stakes being that high. Luckily for her and Kim, Jack hadn't had any doubts she would be ruthless enough. Otherwise she would have died that night and they wouldn't be here now. And the truth was also that a part of her had already started not to care anymore. She had done everything she could to get rid off it, but here and now she had to face the fact that her efforts had been fruitless. Something inside of her had been broken and deep inside she had realized that long before Jack had shown up today.

She raised her eyes again to face him where he was standing with the gun in his hand, aiming at her. She met his gaze, her look filled with a sad derisiveness. "It's too late for the truth, Jack." It had been too late a long time ago.

"What do you mean?" he replied harshly, trying to find an answer in her features.

"This. Us." She finally gave in to her weakness, allowing it to take over. "The threats, the lies and deceptions. The mind games and the hate. There's no room for truth. And I'm tired of it."

Something inside of her released and she let go of everything. Holding his gaze she slipped off her chair again, slowly this time and somewhat indifferently. "I'm done playing, Jack. If you wanna shoot, do it. But don't ask me for something I can't give you."

He stared back at her, looking desperately for something he couldn't find, no matter how hard he tried. Shrugging her shoulders inwardly she lowered her gaze and bowed her head. She closed her eyes and took a careful step. And another one. And another one. Towards the door that Jack had never cared to close. With the vivid image of a bullet shattering her face still present in her mind, she didn't dare to look at him and just moved on. What the hell was she doing? How the hell did they end up here? She reached the doorstep and looked up against the marvelous panorama of the setting sun descending into the ocean just beyond the beach in front of her. Holding her breath she felt every muscle within her body tensing and running the risk of cramping. Well, now we will know, won't we? She gathered all the strength that was left to her and took another step, over the threshold and out into the chilly evening.

He had followed her movements, his gaze alternately displaying disbelief and anger, his hand finally starting to clench the gun as if his life would depend on it and his arm eventually starting to shake. Reaching the doorstep she hesitated slightly and his features convulsed when the realization struck him. He couldn't do it. He simply couldn't do it.