Brrrring!
The phone ringing in Harry's ear awoke from his sleep, which had been dreamless this time—to his relief. He frowned at the phone for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to answer it. But he figured if he didn't, one of the Dursleys would come and get it from him anyway... "Hullo, Dursley residence."
"I was under the impression that it was also the Potter residence." This voice, like the last one, sounded falsely cheerful, though it was doing a better job of disguising the falseness... and, like the first two, it sounded all too familiar.
"Professor Lupin?"
"Hello, Harry."
Conflicting emotions immediately crowded Harry's mind. He was somewhat pleased to hear Lupin's voice, warm even through the pain he was obviously trying to conceal... but at the same time he was annoyed that yet another person was calling him, no doubt to 'extend his sympathies' or 'try and make things right.' But this was Lupin, this was different somehow from when Ron and Hermione had called... "I thought I heard the phone ringing, boy!" His uncle was thundering up the stairs to his room again.
"Are you still there, Harry?"
"Yes sir, I'm still here..." His uncle came into the room at that moment and stared at Harry, sitting up with the phone pressed to his ear. "It's for me again, Uncle Vernon."
Uncle Vernon turned slightly purple and slammed the door, retreating down the stairs and muttering something that Harry was glad Lupin couldn't hear.
"So... how's your summer holiday going so far?" He didn't sound tentative, like Ron and Hermione had, but comforting.
"It's been all right, I suppose..."
"Has it really?"
Harry was surprised to hear the questioning tone in Lupin's voice: sharp, yet soft, reassuring, at the same time. He bit his bottom lip for a moment, trying to decide how to answer. "Actually... no. I haven't eaten hardly anything and I don't want to, I haven't been able to sleep for more than half an hour at a time and it usually takes me at least that long to get to sleep, and then when I do sleep, I..."
"What, Harry?"
"Nothing, never mind." It didn't work with Ron and Hermione... it's not going to be any different this time.
"All right." There was a small pause in which Harry grabbed his wand, lay down, and shot yet another jet of sparks into the air. He'd done it so much by now that he was surprised there wasn't a burn mark on the ceiling. "Have you heard about the Quidditch Cup this year?"
That made Harry laugh—the first time he'd laughed in months, a dead, hollow laugh. "Yeah, I have. Twice. England versus Australia."
"Yeah... thinking of going?"
Well, you could say that... "Ron invited me to go with him and his family. And right after he called, Hermione called and asked if I'd heard about it and decided whether or not to go. But then, I suppose you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" His voice had once again become harsh and sarcastic.
"No, I wouldn't, actually. I haven't spoken to Ron and Hermione since the end of term."
That took Harry by surprise. "You... you haven't?"
"No, I haven't... when would I have?"
He wouldn't lie to me... "Never mind, sir."
"You can call me Remus, if you like."
Why? "Okay."
More silence. "What I was going to ask was if you were going to go to the Cup... I suppose you're going with the Weasleys?"
Why does everyone care so much whether I go see the bloody World Cup? "I don't know. I really don't want to."
"Why wouldn't you...?" He broke off and gave a heavy sigh. "Never mind. Of course I know why you wouldn't... Harry, you said earlier you hadn't been able to sleep... I have to admit that I haven't either. Although, I do hope you've been getting more sleep than I have..."
Harry shrugged, though he knew Lupin couldn't see him. "Probably not."
There was another pause. "You started to tell me a moment ago about when you sleep... my sleep hasn't exactly been peaceful lately... what were you going to say?"
I suppose I may as well tell him... "I was going to say... I... I see him. When I go to sleep, I always see him. His face usually. Sometimes he's laughing—and I'll wake up laughing too, but then I'll remember who I was laughing with... I've seen him d—I've seen it happen again a few times. And when I don't see him, I can hear his voice... always... and usually he's just, just talking to me, about nothing in particular, asking me how school is, asking whether Malfoy's given me any trouble or if Snape has and asking whether I want him to make sure Snape leaves me alone, because he says he'd protect me from anything, as long as he was able to..." He was angry to hear his voice break and roughly ran a palm across his eyes.
It was a minute before Lupin spoke again, in little more than a whisper. "He would have, you know. Protected you, that is. And he did. He did everything Harry, risked everything for you, did things I'm sure you don't even know about... probably things I didn't know about myself. You know he did, Harry... to the end..."
Far from making him feel better, Lupin's words made Harry feel as though his heart had sunk so low into his stomach that he couldn't reach it and it was beating terribly, so hard it hurt; and more tears were leaking out of his eyes. "Yeah, he protected me to the end all right... d'you know how the whole thing happened, Remus? It was my fault!"
"Harry, no, it wasn't your fault..."
"Voldemort got into my head and I saw him torturing Sirius. He wanted Sirius to get him something, I think it was the bloody prophecy, and Sirius said 'you'll have to kill me first,' and Voldemort said something about doing that in the end but then he just... he was torturing him, Remus! What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just sit around! He was going to kill Sirius!" He was yelling now, and no doubt his uncle would be up and try to make him shut up any moment now, but he didn't care.
"Harry..."
"So I got Ron and Hermione to go with me, and Ginny and Neville and Luna came with me too, and we got there and he wasn't there. No one was there. And then the Death Eaters arrived and we were sort of fighting with them, trying to get away, and Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna all got hurt and that was my fault for bringing them with me, for letting them come... And then you all got there and then Dumbledore got there and I thought surely we were saved, it would be all right now... but Sirius and Bellatrix were fighting and Sirius wasn't being serious and she just..."
"Harry, listen to me..."
"You saw him fall through the veil... did you see the look on his face? D'you remember it?"
"Of course I do, Harry, listen..."
"And d'you know why he was there?"
"Yes I do..."
"He was there, like you said, risking it all to save me! And I was only in danger because I thought he was and I only thought he was because I hadn't been studying Occlumency, and Sirius told me to... he wanted me to... if I'd listened to him... It was my fault!"
"Please listen to me, it's not your fault..."
"He was trying to save me! And now he's gone, Remus! He can't come back, never! I'll never see him again or hear him again except in my dreams, and they hurt! God, they hurt so much, Remus... I can't bear to see him anymore; I know it's not really him... I know he's gone, and you can't imagine how hard it is seeing him again, in these stupid dreams, and hearing him, I just can't bear it anymore, because I know it's not real and... every day, Remus, the damned dreams, and it's torture... because I..."
"What, Harry?" Harry could barely hear his voice.
"I loved him."
Such a long pause followed that Harry was sure Remus must have hung up. Harry was debating hanging up himself when finally Lupin spoke again. "I know."
The tears hadn't stopped. "'I know'? Is that all?"
"Oh Harry, I don't know what else I can tell you... I know that nothing I could possibly say is going to help you. That would be impossible. But you have to know that if there was something I could say, I would say it..." His voice sounded strangled, tortured.
I wish I'd never said anything. Why did I have to go on like that? "Is there something... was that what you were calling about?"
"No, it wasn't. I wouldn't have called just to ask you about him. I know that everything you just said was true, and I know it can't have been... it must have hurt you. I wouldn't have called to hurt you."
Harry blinked. The tears had stopped coming and he imagined his eyes must look awfully red...
"I was calling to ask... and I imagine this will be the last thing you want to hear after all that, but... I was wondering if you might want to spend the rest of the summer holidays with me."
Wait... what?
"I'm planning to see the World Cup, and I thought maybe if you were going, you might like to come after the match and sort of... live with me until school starts. Dumbledore's offered me the Defense Against the Dark Arts position this year... he said that he doesn't care what anyone thinks and that at this point all the matters is having our strength mustered... and I just thought you might want to come..."
Harry automatically point his fist at the ceiling... realizing that he was no longer holding his wand, he grabbed it and sent another spray of sparks into the air.
"...Are you still there, Harry?"
"I am."
"Alright."
There was another long pause... "Remus?"
"Yes?"
"Could I... I don't know. I really don't know what to think or do right now. Could I have some time to think about it?"
"Of course, Harry. Take as long as you want... d'you want me to give you the phone number for where I'm staying?"
"Sure..." He wrote it down as Lupin gave it to him.
"Well... I suppose you'd probably like to rest or something... got some homework to be doing?"
"Yeah, I'd better go."
"Okay then... try to remember what I said, Harry. He gave his life to save you... and he'd do it again." There was a click, and Remus was gone.

(A/N: Wow... two reviews! O.o Pardon my sarcasm... hope the two of you who're reading this story like the third chapter... I think it's my favorite so far. Slightly ironic how this one and Beyond Repair contradict each other, but now they're both sort of coming to the same point... which is that I love Remus. Go Lupin! Right, anyway... hope you two like it. Hope it's not too dramatic for you. Heh. And pardon Harry's language... Hissa: Harry's a troubled little individual, isn't he? .... Gee, you think so?)