A/N Hello everyone. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. Had a lot going on…graduations….work…stuff like that. I hope you all like this chapter. Any reviews are welcome. This is my first attempt at a "romance" chapter. Well, here goes. Thanks!!!

Chapter 8

Revan:

I knew she was right.

After all, throughout everything it was Carth, not the Jedi teachings, which kept me from returning to the Revan I had been. The very fact that he was there with me had kept me from giving up so many times.

And what has the Order done for me: besides blocking my memories, sending me on a wild goose chase, nearly getting me killed multiple times before I even knew the real reason why.

I sighed.

They also kept me alive when all justice called for my execution.

I turned towards the meeting room. Mission and Zaalbar were playing a round of Pazaak. From his agitated howls, I assumed she was winning.

Not fair Mission

"What?" she leaned back and crossed her arms.

You cheated!! He growled back.

"Did not! You're just mad 'cuz I beat you again!" she began gathering up her deck.

For the 8th time!!

I cleared my throat getting their attention.

"Revan!" the teenager smiled, "Wanna play a round? I forgot that Big Z's a sore loser."

"No thanks, maybe another time." I smiled and then glanced around, "Actually, I'm looking for Carth. . ."

She began shuffling her side deck, "Last I saw him, he was in the cargo hold with Juhani." She dealt out her cards, "They were looking through the weapons." She looked at me curiously, "What exactly do you use against these vampire things anyways?"

I shook my head, "Sorry, don't know. That's probably a better question for Kimno or Kahelle."

"Maybe later. Come on Big Z, one more?"

I chuckled at his defeated groan. Will he ever learn to just tell her 'No'? "See you in a few guys." I began to head towards the cargo hold.

I absentmindedly ran my hand along the corridor, thinking. Wondering what to say.

Quit it Revan, you're acting like a teen with her first crush.

As I got closer, I decided to use the Force to see if both Carth and Juhani were still in the cargo hold. I froze in my tracks. It wasn't there. I couldn't touch it. There didn't even seem to be a whisper of the Force anywhere around us.

Kahelle?!? What's going on? The panic was evident even in my thoughts.

Calm down, sis. It's the norm here. Don't worry; when we get back to Republic space, you'll be able to feel the Force again.

But how…how is it that the Force doesn't reach here?

Don't know, never took the time to really investigate I guess. I could feel her impatience growing Don't worry about it. Everything will be just fine with out it.

I sighed, Well, I guess you've survived for years with out the Force here; I can survive a few days.

That's the spirit! Now, go find that flyboy of yours… oops, Kimno's here…talk to you later.

I peaked around the corner and looked through the hold. Carth was there . . . alone. Juhani must have left.

"Hey gorgeous." He placed the bowcaster he held back in the large weapons locker.

"Sexless Marshtoad," I smirked.

"Ohh…so we're back to that now are we?" He laughed.

I walked over and hopped up to sit on one of the metal containers, "No, but it's still fun."

He sat down next to me, "You got something on your mind?"

I swallowed hard, "Actually, I do. I know it's seemed like I'm constantly pulling away from you. When we weren't being paraded around the Core Worlds as the 'Heroes of the Republic', I hid from you as well as everyone else. I absorbed myself in meditations and reading. Of everyone, I believe you deserve an explanation the most." I took a deep breath, and focused on a bolt in the floor," You see, when you told me you could love me, I was scared. The Council has strict rules about this. I tried to distance myself from you. I was afraid…"

"You were afraid they'd send me away from you?" He grabbed my chin and lifted my face to him.

I nodded, fighting the tears that threatened to cascade down my face.

You can do this. I could feel Kahelle pulling my buried strength forward.

Thanks.

By the way, Kimno wants to find you guys. We're talking to Bastilla right now. Don't know how long I can keep him from searching you two out.

She closed the link between us. I shook my head.

"Carth, I've decided that I'm going to leave the Order when we get back." My hazel eyes searched his.

He sighed, "No, Revan. I can't ask you to do that." He stood up in front of me, "After all you went through to stay true to the light…if it hadn't been for them…"

"It wasn't their beliefs that kept me from falling again." I stood, "It was you. When Bastilla tempted me to join her, it wasn't the damn Jedi code that went through my mind; it was your face, your voice." I stood up and brushed those two stubborn strands of hair off his temple. "If they were to split us up, I…I just don't know…if…what…"

He pulled me close, I laid my head against his chest listening to his steady heartbeat, "I just don't want you to make a decision you could regret." He spoke softly.

"That would only be if I decided to leave you. I would regret that for a lifetime. Besides, now that I can remember my days as a Jedi from before the Mandalorian Wars, I don't think I'll miss that life too much."

"So does this mean I have to put up with you constantly now?" he smirked.

"You better believe it, Onasi!" I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He pulled me tightly to him and kissed me. Softly, he coaxed my lips apart. I felt as though my knees were going to give way. His strong arms held my body against his.

I heard voices coming down the hallway.

"Are you sure you already checked in here?"

"Absolutely Kimno! Let's go check the bridge." Kahelle's voice echoed loudly from only a short ways away.

"No…no…that kid said they were…in…here…" Kimno's footsteps stopped at the doorway. I broke the kiss and turned to face him just as Kahelle came around the corner.

Sorry!

"Sorry, was I…um…I mean…did I….uh….was I interrupting something?" He backed towards the door.

"It's alright," I looked from Kahelle to Kimno, "What's going on?" I smiled back at my sister.

Kimno cleared his throat, "Actually, after some thought, I decided it might be a better idea to go back to my house before we split up. We've already talked to the kid, that…uh…big…furry…..thing, Bastilla and the old man. We're planning to leave in about 15 minutes. There's a back way in so no one will see our little motley crew here." He still looked uncomfortable.

I squeezed Carth's hand, "We'll go get Juhani and meet you then."

Kimno nodded sharply and hurriedly stepped out of the room.

Kahelle was grinning ear-to-ear, "So decide to follow sis's advice for once?"

"We better get going…" I smiled back at her.

I'll tell you later okay?

She winked at me, I expect every single detail.

Maybe…

Spoilsport! she turned and left.

I turned back and gave Carth a quick kiss. "Well, let's go."

"What ever you say, beautiful."

I smiled, "I'll have to keep that in mind."

He crossed his arms, "Which one the 'whatever you say' or the 'beautiful' part?"

I winked at him before stepping out the door, "Maybe both…."

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Kahelle:

"Why didn't you just tell me?!? 'Oh by the way, Revan's in there with Carth playing a round of tonsil hockey'!" Kimno hissed at me as soon as we were down the hall from the cargo hold.

"What?" I stopped walking and looked at him, "and miss seeing you stammer and stutter like an idiot?" I tried hard to keep from laughing as he stopped walking to glare at me.

"You know, you really can be quite the bitch sometimes." He shook his head and continued walking.

I shrugged, "Hey, I try."

We continued until we reached a room with an odd-looking speedboat type vehicle. A droid stood in the corner with a blaster held menacingly in his hands. The large man I had briefly met earlier stood next to the vehicle.

"Canderous, right?" I walked over, hand extended.

He didn't return the gesture but looked down at me, waiting for me to continue.

I let my hand drop to my side, "We're leaving soon. Be in the meeting room in 15 minutes." I turned on my heel and walked out.

"Not much for chit-chat is he?" Kimno spoke up as soon as we were out of earshot of Canderous.

I shrugged, "I guess not but I guess most Mandalorians are like that. They seem like a 'less talk, more action' race." I saw a question begin to form on his lips; I spoke up quickly, "Hey! When you have absolutely NO social life for five years you tend to do a lot of reading. One of the data pads I saved from the crash was 'Peoples of the Outer Rim'."

His eyes flashed, "I though I told you to quit getting into my head," he snapped.

I held up my hands, "I didn't!! I swear I haven't even tried for about ten years!!"

"Good." He looked almost…relieved.

I wish he'd just let me read him….just for a moment. Let me see what goes on in that head of his.

I shook my head and followed him down the metal corridor.

We took a quick detour by the other crew quarters. Kimno reached underneath one of the bunks and pulled out my old, beat-up satchel.

He tossed it to me.

The books and data pads it carried clattered together as I caught it. Some how that bag had survived a crash-landing as well as years of abuse. Until now, it had been the last thing I had to remember either my family or my years at the Academy.

I remember the day I first received that bag. My parents gave both Revan and I gifts the day we were chosen to become part of the Order. However, that wasn't why it continued to be important to me. It reminded me of the day I nearly died, when Revan came into the medical wing of the Enclave, tears streaming down her face and that dusty brown satchel clutched in her hands.

The last time I'd seen Revan; she'd given me that bag as I boarded the ship to leave. I had held on to that image for years now, Revan running to meet me at the ship, long brown braid flying out behind her, hazel eyes brimmed with tears. As she handed the satchel to me, she had whispered, "Don't forget me…"

Kimno's voice shook me out of my memories, "So do you plan on becoming a Jedi again when you go home?"

"Well, technically I wasn't a Jedi when I left. Just an apprentice, a student. To be totally honest, I don't think I want to become part of the Order again." I chuckled, "Kind of funny, I was so excited to become a Jedi as a kid. You know, I was only a week away from taking the test to become a Padawan." Yep, me, Revan and our friends Valadia and Malak would have all become Jedi within a week of each other. Our friends, Valadia, the soft-spoken, wise Zabrak and Malak, the shy, yet extremely intense boy, it's still so hard to believe they are both gone. Both dead by Revan's hand.

"So what made you change your mind? Something you saw in Revan's memories?" Kimno's voice was soft, quiet.

"Yeah, something like that. However, it'll all be addressed when we're back in Republic space.

The intensity of the look he gave me almost made me cringe, "Just please don't do anything stupid Kahelle."

"Don't worry. What I'm planning…well…the only reason it hasn't be done is because…ah…forget it…They're waiting on us, let's go."

Indeed, everyone was ready and waiting for us in the meeting room. I locked eyes with Revan, she looked…at peace…probably for the first time in years.

"Alright, this is everybody then?" Kimno quickly scanned the room, "Okay, let's get going."