(((((Hey people nice enough to read this! Lol. This is my first fan
fiction, so if it's bad I apologize but PLEASE DON'T SUE ME! Lol. Anyway...
yeah. "Characters not mine, yadd yadda yadda" Have fun!)))))
((Ron))
There is no way I am boarding that train again, no bloody way! I've been trying to explain this to Harry for the past half hour but the git told me it was 'Just Luna!" JUST LUNA?! Since when has that girl ever been 'just' anything? Honestly though- I'm surprised he wants to board it- Luna's sitting in OUR compartment (I know because Hermione's next to her) DRESSED UP LIKE ME! She's wearing a wig, I think, and painted her face to- I DO NOT HAVE THAT MANY FRECKLES!
((Harry))
I'll never catch the train if Ron doesn't get on soon. He's waving his arms around like a mad man, and refusing to get on. I can excuse his fear of spiders, but a fear of 15 year old girls?
I knew I shouldn't have laughed when I saw Luna, but she looks SO much like Ron, but more hygienic. Anyway, Ron asked me what I was laughing at, and I tried to tell him nothing, but he saw. It's really not my fault; I tried to shield him but now we're going to be late to Hogwarts. AGAIN.
And anyways, she looks better in his robes than he does.
"Ron? PLEASE. You don't want to be expelled do you?
((Ron))
Harry's asking me if I want to be expelled. OF COURSE NOT YOU THICK CLOD! If that's what I wanted I would've have done it in a much more valuable manner, like tying Mrs. Norris to Snape's doorknob. Or beating Malfoy to pulp.
I guess I'll have to tell Harry this: "OF COURSE NOT, IF I DID MALFOY WOULD BE DEAD RIGHT- mmphmmph!"
"What did you say? You're turning red- what now? Is she waving again?"
She was, but that wasn't anymore embarrassing than usual. A cold sneer had wafted to my ears....
"What's that, Weasel?"
I think I might get on the train now. Harry's giving me amused but sympathetic looks- but I'll deal with HIM later. Right now my mission is to get on the Hogwarts Express. For Malfoy's sake, see. I could take him, everyone knows I could take him, I'm like Mohammed Ali. But pit me against Malfoy, it's like a butterfly against a Mike Tyson. I'm Mike of course. And it wouldn't be very Gryffindor-like of me to do that on the platform where everyone could see him. The parents, his posse- and Luna. That is why I'm getting on the train; fighting Malfoy just isn't fair. And of course, what if Luna cheered?
((Harry))
I'm sitting next to a lobster.
It's got red hair, red freckles... and an incredibly red face. I guess I can understand why he's embarrassed but- god I don't even know if it's him! It could be Luna! Hahahaha!
"Harry, that's the fourth time tonight you've sprayed your pumpkin juice all over my plate," said Hermione, annoyed.
"Sorry," I told her, "But I was just thinking about this morning and Ron and then I thought- wait? What if it's Luna?" But I never got that far- I sent a fifth pumpkin juice shower at her plate when I reached 'this morning'.
To my surprise, Hermione couldn't quite suppress a giggle with me. There is something about her tonight, I don't know what. Her hair is- well, bushy. Same as always- but her eyes- still... brown. The only difference is her book- Famous Witches of the 16th Century. I don't know what it is, really...
Ron's furious, and he's turned into a lobster again. But he was redder, this morning, on the train, when Luna greeted him, saying "Hello Ron!" and responding to his inaudible "Hi. Luna." with, "Luna? Can't you tell I'm Ron?"
I personally thought it was hilarious. I guess Ron just wasn't interested in her 'experiment'. Ron asked her if it was that kind of experiment, if she was going to move into the boy's dormitory soon, but she didn't seem insulted- she just gawked at him, asking what was wrong with the girl's dorms, other than the Brindle-Gibble infestation. She tried to explain to him what they were- but Malfoy walked by and Ron fainted.
((Ron))
That's it. I'm leaving. Forever. I'll join Bill or Charlie or even Fred and George, but I'm not showing my face in Hogwarts again.
Pity. Hermione will miss me.
Harry hasn't stopped laughing the entire night! I don't know why. Sure, Luna looked weird, but not that weird. Maybe he's laughing because I fell asleep in the compartment. A lot of people claim to have borne witness and say I fainted, but they're wrong. I didn't faint. Ok maybe. But I wish Harry would shut up.
"Ron?"
I'm going to ignore him. We'll see if he's still laughing when I go to Romania. Ha, laugh now, scar-boy!
"Ron?" he's calling more urgently this time. I look up a bit- just to study the painting, of course, and realize we are stopped at the portrait of the Fat Lady. I can't remember the password- something like "Whibbsy Wobbles" or the like. I guess I'll have to ask Harry. But I swear I will never say another word to him after this.
"Well, don't you know the password?!"
No response.
Uh-oh.
And as if it's not bad enough to be stuck out of our Common room, it happens to be 5 minutes past the time we are allowed to wander the halls. I wish Hermione was with us. She'd certainly remember, unlike the Mad Hatter here, who's laughing again. But she went up early, after Harry made another stupid reference to my earlier nap on the train. She got up quickly and excused herself. I would say she was fighting not to laugh, but Hermione wouldn't do that, she fancies me too much.
"What's this, my sweet? Two little goblins wandering the halls at night? Well, they'll pay for it, oh yes, wont they, my sweet?"
5 YEARS OF HEROIC RULE BREAKING AND WE GE CAUGHT FOR 'WANDERING" WHEN WE'RE LOCKED OUT OF OUR OWN COMMON ROOM?
"Oh, dear, Dumbledore will not like this very much... poor Potter has got just enough infractions that this-"Filch faked a melancholy sniff. "Will just send him away from Hogwarts!"
((Harry))
I cannot believe this.
Fred and George got sent to Filch for eons and they never were expelled!
"But- why weren't Fred and George expelled?!" I ask.
"New rule, yes, sent by the ministry. One more smudge on that record for you, Potter, or a teensy-bit more for you, Weasely, and you're out- though perhaps you can be Assistant Groundskeeper."
Out of Hogwarts?! Initially this bothered me but now he's insulting Hagrid.
"FINE!" I spit at him, "it's a much more honorable job than your practice!"
To my surprise he's keeping his cool.
"Best abandon the tone, Potter. There are- certain allowances I might make..."
Blackmail. We are getting blackmailed by FILCH, the SQUIB. It would be almost as funny as Ron's day if it wasn't at my expense.
((Ron))
Argus Filch is the owner of the most putrid feet I have ever seen. And I have to massage them.
I shouldn't even be here. It's Harry that's in trouble. And I'm very angry at him and will never speak to him again- starting tomorrow. Really, I'm only doing this because Hermione told me it was the Right Thing To Do. I tried to tell her that maybe it was the Right Thing For Her To Do, but she just rolled her eyes and said she had Arithmancy. She took up a lot more classes this year, and without the time turner we hardly ever see her.
So here I am massaging Filch's smelly feet, while he sits back in a blue bathrobe revealing much of his spaghetti-thin legs, and tells us about what he would do to misbehaving children if he made the rules. He's mental. And I'm pretty sure most of them are illegal, though possibly not the squirrel one...
"Well, I suppose that's it for today." He says this menacingly, but even he knows we can't wander the halls too late, "But you'll be back tomorrow."
Harry looks like he is going to explode, but we can't say anything. He makes me pet Mrs. Norris before I leave. Who knows how many nights I'll have peace now? No Hermione to see in Filch's, she's probably heartsick from missing me. I hate him. Argus Filch is GOING DOWN!
((Harry))
"Harry, we've got to stop Filch- we'll frame him, whatever, anything, but we've GOT to get rid of him before this has gone to far!" Ron is looking at me pleadingly. But I can't run the risk of this, one falter and I'm out. Forever.
"It'll be okay Ron. Granted he's like a homeless shelter is on a rainy day, but we can't risk anything!"
I can almost forget about yesterday when I'm flying- Quidditch practice doesn't officially start till tomorrow but Ron wanted me to help him a bit- he's awfully nervous. But the sight of Filch's knobbly balding lice- infested (I'm sure) head that I stared at for hours yesterday while I gave him a shoulder massage- doesn't disappear so quickly.
Katie Bell is calling me- she looks ecstatic.
"Harry! Ron! Guess what? I'm the new captain! Practice tomorrow! Don't miss it, it is one of the most important of the year, okay?"
"But Katie!" I'm yelling back. I'm about to tell her about Filch when I remember I can't tell anyone, "We- can't go. We have something important we can't miss. We're really sorry!"
"SORRY? HARRY JAMES POTTER, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SKIP PRACTICE! IF YOU DON'T COME TOMORROW, YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM! AND THAT'S FINAL!"
I hate Filch. Ron's right. He is going to SUFFER!
((Ron))
There is no way I am boarding that train again, no bloody way! I've been trying to explain this to Harry for the past half hour but the git told me it was 'Just Luna!" JUST LUNA?! Since when has that girl ever been 'just' anything? Honestly though- I'm surprised he wants to board it- Luna's sitting in OUR compartment (I know because Hermione's next to her) DRESSED UP LIKE ME! She's wearing a wig, I think, and painted her face to- I DO NOT HAVE THAT MANY FRECKLES!
((Harry))
I'll never catch the train if Ron doesn't get on soon. He's waving his arms around like a mad man, and refusing to get on. I can excuse his fear of spiders, but a fear of 15 year old girls?
I knew I shouldn't have laughed when I saw Luna, but she looks SO much like Ron, but more hygienic. Anyway, Ron asked me what I was laughing at, and I tried to tell him nothing, but he saw. It's really not my fault; I tried to shield him but now we're going to be late to Hogwarts. AGAIN.
And anyways, she looks better in his robes than he does.
"Ron? PLEASE. You don't want to be expelled do you?
((Ron))
Harry's asking me if I want to be expelled. OF COURSE NOT YOU THICK CLOD! If that's what I wanted I would've have done it in a much more valuable manner, like tying Mrs. Norris to Snape's doorknob. Or beating Malfoy to pulp.
I guess I'll have to tell Harry this: "OF COURSE NOT, IF I DID MALFOY WOULD BE DEAD RIGHT- mmphmmph!"
"What did you say? You're turning red- what now? Is she waving again?"
She was, but that wasn't anymore embarrassing than usual. A cold sneer had wafted to my ears....
"What's that, Weasel?"
I think I might get on the train now. Harry's giving me amused but sympathetic looks- but I'll deal with HIM later. Right now my mission is to get on the Hogwarts Express. For Malfoy's sake, see. I could take him, everyone knows I could take him, I'm like Mohammed Ali. But pit me against Malfoy, it's like a butterfly against a Mike Tyson. I'm Mike of course. And it wouldn't be very Gryffindor-like of me to do that on the platform where everyone could see him. The parents, his posse- and Luna. That is why I'm getting on the train; fighting Malfoy just isn't fair. And of course, what if Luna cheered?
((Harry))
I'm sitting next to a lobster.
It's got red hair, red freckles... and an incredibly red face. I guess I can understand why he's embarrassed but- god I don't even know if it's him! It could be Luna! Hahahaha!
"Harry, that's the fourth time tonight you've sprayed your pumpkin juice all over my plate," said Hermione, annoyed.
"Sorry," I told her, "But I was just thinking about this morning and Ron and then I thought- wait? What if it's Luna?" But I never got that far- I sent a fifth pumpkin juice shower at her plate when I reached 'this morning'.
To my surprise, Hermione couldn't quite suppress a giggle with me. There is something about her tonight, I don't know what. Her hair is- well, bushy. Same as always- but her eyes- still... brown. The only difference is her book- Famous Witches of the 16th Century. I don't know what it is, really...
Ron's furious, and he's turned into a lobster again. But he was redder, this morning, on the train, when Luna greeted him, saying "Hello Ron!" and responding to his inaudible "Hi. Luna." with, "Luna? Can't you tell I'm Ron?"
I personally thought it was hilarious. I guess Ron just wasn't interested in her 'experiment'. Ron asked her if it was that kind of experiment, if she was going to move into the boy's dormitory soon, but she didn't seem insulted- she just gawked at him, asking what was wrong with the girl's dorms, other than the Brindle-Gibble infestation. She tried to explain to him what they were- but Malfoy walked by and Ron fainted.
((Ron))
That's it. I'm leaving. Forever. I'll join Bill or Charlie or even Fred and George, but I'm not showing my face in Hogwarts again.
Pity. Hermione will miss me.
Harry hasn't stopped laughing the entire night! I don't know why. Sure, Luna looked weird, but not that weird. Maybe he's laughing because I fell asleep in the compartment. A lot of people claim to have borne witness and say I fainted, but they're wrong. I didn't faint. Ok maybe. But I wish Harry would shut up.
"Ron?"
I'm going to ignore him. We'll see if he's still laughing when I go to Romania. Ha, laugh now, scar-boy!
"Ron?" he's calling more urgently this time. I look up a bit- just to study the painting, of course, and realize we are stopped at the portrait of the Fat Lady. I can't remember the password- something like "Whibbsy Wobbles" or the like. I guess I'll have to ask Harry. But I swear I will never say another word to him after this.
"Well, don't you know the password?!"
No response.
Uh-oh.
And as if it's not bad enough to be stuck out of our Common room, it happens to be 5 minutes past the time we are allowed to wander the halls. I wish Hermione was with us. She'd certainly remember, unlike the Mad Hatter here, who's laughing again. But she went up early, after Harry made another stupid reference to my earlier nap on the train. She got up quickly and excused herself. I would say she was fighting not to laugh, but Hermione wouldn't do that, she fancies me too much.
"What's this, my sweet? Two little goblins wandering the halls at night? Well, they'll pay for it, oh yes, wont they, my sweet?"
5 YEARS OF HEROIC RULE BREAKING AND WE GE CAUGHT FOR 'WANDERING" WHEN WE'RE LOCKED OUT OF OUR OWN COMMON ROOM?
"Oh, dear, Dumbledore will not like this very much... poor Potter has got just enough infractions that this-"Filch faked a melancholy sniff. "Will just send him away from Hogwarts!"
((Harry))
I cannot believe this.
Fred and George got sent to Filch for eons and they never were expelled!
"But- why weren't Fred and George expelled?!" I ask.
"New rule, yes, sent by the ministry. One more smudge on that record for you, Potter, or a teensy-bit more for you, Weasely, and you're out- though perhaps you can be Assistant Groundskeeper."
Out of Hogwarts?! Initially this bothered me but now he's insulting Hagrid.
"FINE!" I spit at him, "it's a much more honorable job than your practice!"
To my surprise he's keeping his cool.
"Best abandon the tone, Potter. There are- certain allowances I might make..."
Blackmail. We are getting blackmailed by FILCH, the SQUIB. It would be almost as funny as Ron's day if it wasn't at my expense.
((Ron))
Argus Filch is the owner of the most putrid feet I have ever seen. And I have to massage them.
I shouldn't even be here. It's Harry that's in trouble. And I'm very angry at him and will never speak to him again- starting tomorrow. Really, I'm only doing this because Hermione told me it was the Right Thing To Do. I tried to tell her that maybe it was the Right Thing For Her To Do, but she just rolled her eyes and said she had Arithmancy. She took up a lot more classes this year, and without the time turner we hardly ever see her.
So here I am massaging Filch's smelly feet, while he sits back in a blue bathrobe revealing much of his spaghetti-thin legs, and tells us about what he would do to misbehaving children if he made the rules. He's mental. And I'm pretty sure most of them are illegal, though possibly not the squirrel one...
"Well, I suppose that's it for today." He says this menacingly, but even he knows we can't wander the halls too late, "But you'll be back tomorrow."
Harry looks like he is going to explode, but we can't say anything. He makes me pet Mrs. Norris before I leave. Who knows how many nights I'll have peace now? No Hermione to see in Filch's, she's probably heartsick from missing me. I hate him. Argus Filch is GOING DOWN!
((Harry))
"Harry, we've got to stop Filch- we'll frame him, whatever, anything, but we've GOT to get rid of him before this has gone to far!" Ron is looking at me pleadingly. But I can't run the risk of this, one falter and I'm out. Forever.
"It'll be okay Ron. Granted he's like a homeless shelter is on a rainy day, but we can't risk anything!"
I can almost forget about yesterday when I'm flying- Quidditch practice doesn't officially start till tomorrow but Ron wanted me to help him a bit- he's awfully nervous. But the sight of Filch's knobbly balding lice- infested (I'm sure) head that I stared at for hours yesterday while I gave him a shoulder massage- doesn't disappear so quickly.
Katie Bell is calling me- she looks ecstatic.
"Harry! Ron! Guess what? I'm the new captain! Practice tomorrow! Don't miss it, it is one of the most important of the year, okay?"
"But Katie!" I'm yelling back. I'm about to tell her about Filch when I remember I can't tell anyone, "We- can't go. We have something important we can't miss. We're really sorry!"
"SORRY? HARRY JAMES POTTER, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SKIP PRACTICE! IF YOU DON'T COME TOMORROW, YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM! AND THAT'S FINAL!"
I hate Filch. Ron's right. He is going to SUFFER!