I'm really exited about this chapter cuz it's all Relena-bashing, all the
time! Oh yeah, the episode about the Gundam Boys playing Quidditch...
that's next chapter. * Giggles furiously * Yeah... I want to make you wait
a little bit longer!!!! Oh well, so here's the next chapter of "Heero and
the Destruction of Wizardry"!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I don't own Gundam Wing. What? You expect me to say something funny now?
In the deepest darkest depths of the Forbidden Forest... we find Relena waking up from blow in the head, which Wufei had placed on her with satisfying pleasure.
"Where am I...? AND WHY AM I DUCT TAPED TO A TREE!!!???" Relena struggled with the duct tape that bonded her to the tree in vain. She gave up as soon as the Duct tape started stretching to its limit.
"Heero... I... I will see you again! That's right!" Relena looked up at the sky in new hope, struggling more, finally breaking free from the bonds with superhuman strength. "MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL KEEP ME ALIVE HEERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Corny hope music in the background) She screamed to the forest as she ran deeper and deeper into the forest in an attempt to find the exit.
Finally Relena reached a clearing, but dark nonetheless. And for the first time since she had landed in this strange new world, Relena felt insecure. as if danger was coming every second. she shrugged it off and continued moving, skipping while whistling a tune. She was so engrossed in her own filthy music-making that she soon found herself tangled to a huge spider web! Relena struggled to free herself from the silky, sticky bonds that tied her to certain doom, when she spotted it. a gigantic spider, hairy with sharp pincers.
"No. no..!!! Heero where are you now??? My Heero! I shall not be killed by anyone but you my darling Heero!!" She whispered to the cold dark air.
"No matter who you call, no one will be of help to you now." Said a faint voice from within the shadows.
Relena faced at the dark void in fear. "Who- who said that?"
One eye appeared from the darkness, closely followed by hundreds more. As the creature emerged from its dwelling, Relena opened her mouth in a silent scream.
"Nothing could save you now. You will be a tasty morsel for my children to devour." The acromantula whispered near Relena's ear.
----- Later-----
"NOOO!!!!!! NOOO MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!" Several SPIDERS screamed.
The smaller acromantula's skitted away in awesome fear. "Run my children, run! This is no ordinary human! Its- its- its ANNOYING!!!!!!!"
Relena chased them until they all disappeared into the dark abyss. "WAIT!!! YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!! WHERE'S MY HEERO??????"
A voice came out from the dark forest. "STOP ASKING US THAT HUMAN!!!!!!!! WHOEVER THIS HEERO IS HE IS SUFFERING GREATLY BY THE LIKES OF YOU!!!!" The voice echoed throughout the trees, fading away further and further.
Relena beamed. "A MYSTICAL CREATURE SAID THAT HEERO WAS SUFFERING!!! He must miss me oh so much!!!! Heero, I MISS YOU TOO HEERO!!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME HEERO??? I WILL FIND YOU AND EASE YOUR SUFFERING HEERO!!!!!!!!!" Relena screamed into the forest.
Several creatures scurried and moaned at the sound of her voice. Some insects fell onto the floor, lifeless. "Ah. my sweet voice has that effect on people as well as animals. They all swoon to its melodious sound!" Relena began humming again and skipped again in another attempt to find the exit. She was deep in the bowels of the forest greenery when she heard the sound of hooves pitter-pattering, resonating through the forest.
An amazing sight greeted her as she searched for the creature that was responsible for the sound. A unicorn, with long, flowing silver hair, and an ivory white horn motioned for her to follow it to the exit of the woods (probably because she was causing too much death to the forest already.)
Unfortunately, this is Relena we're talking about.
Relena, all that time, was staring at its glowing ivory horn. The unicorn waved its horn in the air and pointed it to the edge of the woods. Relena started to drool, and the unicorn sweatdropped. (I don't know if it's possible, but with Relena it might.) She stared at it until she whispered into the stagnant cold air, only vague enough for the creature's delicate ears to catch.
"That horn would be the perfect gift to give to my beloved Heero!!!"
The white creature reared its head and started a frantic run in order to escape from the lunatic chasing it through. Amazingly, Relena, on her "Heero" obsession rampage, kept in pace with the unicorn, managing to catch up with it and pick a hair off it's back, which made the unicorn run even faster.
Relena lost the Unicorn after a while. But she was determined to get that long magical spiral, the crowning glory of her declaration of love fore her "Darling" Heero. She reached a clearing again and spotted the Unicorn staring at her from the other side of a creek.
Relena gave a VERY fake sweet smile and held out her hand. "Come on, little uni, I won't hurt you.*just kill you and take the horn which will make Heero mine forever."
The unicorn shook his head as if in a "no", and stepped back to reveal thousands of other unicorns glaring at Relena with their huge black eyes. Relena sweatdropped and ran, followed closely by the herd.
"I JUST WANT TO GET A PRESENT FOR MY DARLING HEERO BEFORE HE KILLS ME!!!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK????????????????????????"
The Unicorns neighed in disagreement, one of them eventually scooping her up with its horn. It threw Relena into the air, and as she came falling down; a thousand hooves went up and kicked her out of the forest. She disappeared in a glimmer, and the forest was silent.
It was at that moment the forest seemed to be bursting with life, and all the mystical creatures brimmed with life in celebration of the disappearance of the annoying creature to be forever named "Relena".
---------meanwhile-----------
Hagrid stepped out of his hut and whistled his way into the pumpkin patch. There, he almost tripped over a certain something.
"Ey there lil' falla! Watttar ye doin out of yer house eh? C'mon, back to wer ye came from." Hagrid motioned to the badger.
"Eh? Whe- where am I??"
Hagrid gasped in surprise. "A talkin' Badger!! A non-magical one at that! Well this be very fascinatin'."
The Badger blinked. "Huh?? But I'm not a badger, I'm a beautiful, wonderful girl! My name is Relena sir, and I think I was kicked out of the forest by some beautiful horses."
Hagrid poked 'Relena'.
"Unicorns eh? Well wat did yer do to make em' so darn angry?"
"I don't know sir. One of them was willingly going to give me it's horn when suddenly they all attacked me! It must have been my blinding beauty that scared them off."
"Well that explain' a lot. They kicked yer out with their horns, did they?"
"Yes sir."
"explains why you're a Badger now."
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?? I am not a badger sir! I am an honest, beautiful, georgeous-"
Hagrid handed her a mirror.
"-RODENT??????????????????"
Thud.
What ever happened to Relena? Are the mystical animals out to get her? Why of all animals is she a Badger? Will Hagrid be able to save her? Find out in the next episode of "Heero and the Destruction of Wizardry!!!!!"
Yipee!!! RELENA-BASHING IS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had a lot of fun making this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!! ( Please Read and Review!!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I don't own Gundam Wing. What? You expect me to say something funny now?
In the deepest darkest depths of the Forbidden Forest... we find Relena waking up from blow in the head, which Wufei had placed on her with satisfying pleasure.
"Where am I...? AND WHY AM I DUCT TAPED TO A TREE!!!???" Relena struggled with the duct tape that bonded her to the tree in vain. She gave up as soon as the Duct tape started stretching to its limit.
"Heero... I... I will see you again! That's right!" Relena looked up at the sky in new hope, struggling more, finally breaking free from the bonds with superhuman strength. "MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL KEEP ME ALIVE HEERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Corny hope music in the background) She screamed to the forest as she ran deeper and deeper into the forest in an attempt to find the exit.
Finally Relena reached a clearing, but dark nonetheless. And for the first time since she had landed in this strange new world, Relena felt insecure. as if danger was coming every second. she shrugged it off and continued moving, skipping while whistling a tune. She was so engrossed in her own filthy music-making that she soon found herself tangled to a huge spider web! Relena struggled to free herself from the silky, sticky bonds that tied her to certain doom, when she spotted it. a gigantic spider, hairy with sharp pincers.
"No. no..!!! Heero where are you now??? My Heero! I shall not be killed by anyone but you my darling Heero!!" She whispered to the cold dark air.
"No matter who you call, no one will be of help to you now." Said a faint voice from within the shadows.
Relena faced at the dark void in fear. "Who- who said that?"
One eye appeared from the darkness, closely followed by hundreds more. As the creature emerged from its dwelling, Relena opened her mouth in a silent scream.
"Nothing could save you now. You will be a tasty morsel for my children to devour." The acromantula whispered near Relena's ear.
----- Later-----
"NOOO!!!!!! NOOO MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!" Several SPIDERS screamed.
The smaller acromantula's skitted away in awesome fear. "Run my children, run! This is no ordinary human! Its- its- its ANNOYING!!!!!!!"
Relena chased them until they all disappeared into the dark abyss. "WAIT!!! YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!! WHERE'S MY HEERO??????"
A voice came out from the dark forest. "STOP ASKING US THAT HUMAN!!!!!!!! WHOEVER THIS HEERO IS HE IS SUFFERING GREATLY BY THE LIKES OF YOU!!!!" The voice echoed throughout the trees, fading away further and further.
Relena beamed. "A MYSTICAL CREATURE SAID THAT HEERO WAS SUFFERING!!! He must miss me oh so much!!!! Heero, I MISS YOU TOO HEERO!!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME HEERO??? I WILL FIND YOU AND EASE YOUR SUFFERING HEERO!!!!!!!!!" Relena screamed into the forest.
Several creatures scurried and moaned at the sound of her voice. Some insects fell onto the floor, lifeless. "Ah. my sweet voice has that effect on people as well as animals. They all swoon to its melodious sound!" Relena began humming again and skipped again in another attempt to find the exit. She was deep in the bowels of the forest greenery when she heard the sound of hooves pitter-pattering, resonating through the forest.
An amazing sight greeted her as she searched for the creature that was responsible for the sound. A unicorn, with long, flowing silver hair, and an ivory white horn motioned for her to follow it to the exit of the woods (probably because she was causing too much death to the forest already.)
Unfortunately, this is Relena we're talking about.
Relena, all that time, was staring at its glowing ivory horn. The unicorn waved its horn in the air and pointed it to the edge of the woods. Relena started to drool, and the unicorn sweatdropped. (I don't know if it's possible, but with Relena it might.) She stared at it until she whispered into the stagnant cold air, only vague enough for the creature's delicate ears to catch.
"That horn would be the perfect gift to give to my beloved Heero!!!"
The white creature reared its head and started a frantic run in order to escape from the lunatic chasing it through. Amazingly, Relena, on her "Heero" obsession rampage, kept in pace with the unicorn, managing to catch up with it and pick a hair off it's back, which made the unicorn run even faster.
Relena lost the Unicorn after a while. But she was determined to get that long magical spiral, the crowning glory of her declaration of love fore her "Darling" Heero. She reached a clearing again and spotted the Unicorn staring at her from the other side of a creek.
Relena gave a VERY fake sweet smile and held out her hand. "Come on, little uni, I won't hurt you.*just kill you and take the horn which will make Heero mine forever."
The unicorn shook his head as if in a "no", and stepped back to reveal thousands of other unicorns glaring at Relena with their huge black eyes. Relena sweatdropped and ran, followed closely by the herd.
"I JUST WANT TO GET A PRESENT FOR MY DARLING HEERO BEFORE HE KILLS ME!!!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK????????????????????????"
The Unicorns neighed in disagreement, one of them eventually scooping her up with its horn. It threw Relena into the air, and as she came falling down; a thousand hooves went up and kicked her out of the forest. She disappeared in a glimmer, and the forest was silent.
It was at that moment the forest seemed to be bursting with life, and all the mystical creatures brimmed with life in celebration of the disappearance of the annoying creature to be forever named "Relena".
---------meanwhile-----------
Hagrid stepped out of his hut and whistled his way into the pumpkin patch. There, he almost tripped over a certain something.
"Ey there lil' falla! Watttar ye doin out of yer house eh? C'mon, back to wer ye came from." Hagrid motioned to the badger.
"Eh? Whe- where am I??"
Hagrid gasped in surprise. "A talkin' Badger!! A non-magical one at that! Well this be very fascinatin'."
The Badger blinked. "Huh?? But I'm not a badger, I'm a beautiful, wonderful girl! My name is Relena sir, and I think I was kicked out of the forest by some beautiful horses."
Hagrid poked 'Relena'.
"Unicorns eh? Well wat did yer do to make em' so darn angry?"
"I don't know sir. One of them was willingly going to give me it's horn when suddenly they all attacked me! It must have been my blinding beauty that scared them off."
"Well that explain' a lot. They kicked yer out with their horns, did they?"
"Yes sir."
"explains why you're a Badger now."
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?? I am not a badger sir! I am an honest, beautiful, georgeous-"
Hagrid handed her a mirror.
"-RODENT??????????????????"
Thud.
What ever happened to Relena? Are the mystical animals out to get her? Why of all animals is she a Badger? Will Hagrid be able to save her? Find out in the next episode of "Heero and the Destruction of Wizardry!!!!!"
Yipee!!! RELENA-BASHING IS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had a lot of fun making this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!! ( Please Read and Review!!!!!