What 'Love' Means to Me
By theladyknight
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the song "I Will Carry You" by Clay Aiken.
A/N: Here's Chapter 4 featuring Yama saving Sora from the darkness! Thanks to all the reviewers and I hope you all will enjoy the fic. Please R/R!
Blondie121147: Thank you! I love your fic Her Choice, it is one my all-time favorite stories by far! I hope you update soon and like this chapter!
Thetwentyone: Thanks for the suggestions. I'm not a big flashback person myself, but they're needed for the fic. But after this chapter, I apologize right now cuz there's a lot here, there'll be lots more dialogue and hardly any more flashbacks! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 4: I Will Carry You
Before I knew it, the week was over. The guys and I spent a lot of time just hanging out with Sora at all her favorite places. We played a wild game of mud soccer, which was a blast and consisted of Mimi complaining a lot because her clothes got all muddy. We hung out at the movie theater, the arcade, everywhere Sora loved to go.
She covered up her emotions really well around the others,fooling everyone but me. Sora always smiled and appeared to be having fun,but I could see right through the mask she put on. The whole time she wanted us to think she was okay and enjoying every minute of it. There were only two weeks left and she knew how short they could be.
As we made our way to the local amusement park one day, I caught her eye, giving her a smile to let her know I would support her whenever she needed supporting. For the first time since Jyou and Koushiro had pushed Mimi into the mud during our rowdy soccer game, she gave a real genuine smile.
Ever since the dgital wrld, friendship has been one of the easiest things for me in my life. Most people at school look at me as the loner and rebel. Yet they don't understand why I'm best friends with the loudmouthed Taichi or the pink-crazed Mimi. I make my friends by my own accords, not just with the popular people or jocks. I'm friends with the former president of the computer club and a star tennis player, what more could I want.
We were all surprised when Sora had taken up tennis. I, and I imagine all the others, assumed she would land herself a spot starting center midfielder on the girls'team. However,she shocked us all by quitting soccer and moving onto tennis.
Flashback
"So, Sor, did you go to tryouts yesterday?" An entergetic Taichi asked.
The girl smirked at him. "You seem happy, Tai."
I could tell she was changing the subject, but her comment seemed to distract the bushy-haired teen. "Yeah, I made the cut. Coach said I just may end up starting at one of the wing spots."
"That's great, Taichi. And it comes to as no surprise either."
"Well, what about you? Starting at midfield, I assume."
Sora paused for a second, finally deciding on the right choice of words. "Actually, I didn't try out for the team."
Taichi and I each gave her a dumbfounded expression. Moments later, as our other friends joined us under the tree in the park where we met everyday, they were all in the same vegetated state. Koushiro gave her a blank look. "Could you elaborate, please?"
She let out a light laugh, suprising us all. "It was just time for a break. Soccer is something I'm always going to love, but I've been interested in tennis for quite some time as well. I've been playing it a lot over the past few weeks, and I just get this...powerful rush I don't get from soccer. I don't really know how to explain it. It just seemed like the right thing to do to switch. I didn't want to spend all of my school years wondering what it would be like to play tennis. So I took a chance."
I smiled at her. "If that's what you want to do, go for it, Sor. I'm sure you'll be great at tennis, just like soccer. And it adds another sport where you can kick Taichi's butt."
"She cannot beat me!" Tai boldly proclaimed.
Jyou raised an eyebrow. "How about that one time when you played in the park..."
Tai's face tinted red. "So?"
"Or that time she beat you at the soccer fields..." Mimi stated.
"Or the time she embarrassed you in PE..." I cheekily replied. Sora gave me a large smile of appreciation.
The brunette indignantly placed his hands on his hips. "Ancient history." He decided to change the subject, seeing as everyone else was against him. "Sor, I know you'll do just awesome at tennis. Go for it!..."
End Flashback
Tennis certainly was something the bearer of love was fantastic at. Her talents shined through. Sora's new teammates were glad to have her on board, but her soccer team members were a bit mad.Two of her former teammates came and threatened to blackmail her into rejoining, but Sora handled it in her own way. The crest of love has helped her out a lot. She's so understanding of others' feelings and always is there to help. She convinced the girls why she decided to stop playing and they backed off and supported her.
Understandingis one of the things weare all going to miss about Sora. She always seemed to know the right things to say and could always give the best advice…
Flashback
After defeating Myotismon and VenomMyotismon, the rest of the chosen and I were forced to go back into the digital world in order to stop the new evil which had appeared there. To make a long story short, we found them and Taichi and I got in a fight. Puppetmon, one of the Dark Masters, captured Takeru, and I nearly fell apart.
Takeru appeared almost magically after that and began to tell us about his escape. I had had it and needed to get out. Gabumon followed me, and we went off on our own. Seeing Takeru escape all by himself not needing anyone's help really affected me. He didn't need me, and if he didn't, no one did.
I sunk into depression allowing myself to be fooled by Cherrymon into thinking every problem I had encountered in my life was Taichi's fault. Gabumon promised to stick by me no matter what happened. My new philosophy on life was the only person you can depend on is yourself and in my case, my digimon.
Taichi and I got into a very big fight along with our digimon when I got back. It was stopped when a being inhabitabed Hikari and told us why we were chosen to be digidestined. Taichi wanted to make amends with me, but I knew I wasn't at that point yet. My crest was the crest of friendship. Yet I didn't really understand what being a friend entailed. My life, so full of loneliness and solitude, had never really included friendship. I needed to go off by myself in order to, well, find myself.
The group wasn't too happy with the decision. I promised to come back, and if it wasn't for Sora, I'm pretty sure I never would have been able to go. She tried to get us to split up into two big groups, but I knew I had to do this by myself. She looked me in the eyes, ruby spheres staring up at me, seemingly going through me. She told me she believed in me and would not stand in my way, also comforting my brother in the process. Thanks to Sora's words, he also gave me his support, which gradually led to the others acceptance.
End Flashback
Yep, Sora is the one I always go to for advice. She understands every query or question I have to offer and can give an obvious response or a careful, well-worded one. I checked my watch.
Today, with only two weeks left before Sora and her family left for New York, the gang was going to meet at the park. For some reason, even at our age, the park was ultimately the best hangout. With soccer fields, basketball and tennis courts, jungle gyms, and all sorts of things to do, it was an ideal location for any gathering. We were having a picnic today. I was in charge of bringing enough rice balls for all of us. I left the house, realizing I would be late if I didn't get moving my thoughts turning back to Sora and my friends.
Without friends like these I don't know where I'd be in this world. But even with friends one can still sink into depression and darkness as both Sora and I learned the hard way. If Sora had not believed in my then the darkness would have taken over me, and Sora, too, would have been trapped there.
It's a part of my life that I look back on with both regret and pride.
Regret is easy to distinguish. I let myself fallprey to the arms of depression. Igave up on my hopes, talents, dreams and desires, pushing theminto theback of my mind, and feeling like I wasn't good enough. But Gabumon talked me through it.
Pride is also easy to tell. It was a feeling I needed to experience after my lapse of darkness. I needed to feel needed. To feel wanted. To feel helpful. Tofeel...loved...
Flashback
I was on a search to find myself, and Gabumon came to protect me. We usually traveled in silence, going long distances each and every day. It never bothered me. Growing up in a world full of loneliness made this adventure of ours perfect for me.
That was probably the reason the darkness had such an easy time consuming me. Somehow Gabumon and I had wound up in a dark cave with no idea how we got there. My thoughts were on Takeru and what a horrible brother I was. Gabumon tried to get me to snap out of it but nothing worked. I sat down, the darkness jumping out to greet me and happily consume me as its victim.
As I felt it begin to take over my already rather icy heart, Gabumon bit me in attempt to bring me back to reality. He managed to rationalize with me and talk me through the darkness. We promised to be friends forever and the darkness and cave both vanished…
Gabumon and I met up with Jyou and Takeru minutes after I was free from the darkness. However, after apologizing to my brother and getting all salutations out of the way, Keru informed us that Sora and Piyomon had been pulled into a hole much like the one I had been stuck in.
The three of us, though Jyou was a bit reluctant, climbed into the hole, revealing a cave. Patamon heard a sound, and Gomamon realized it was Sora's voice. We rushed to the sound and found a frantic Piyomon attempting to break through the darkness covering Sora.
I recognized it right away. So this is the way I looked. Sora appeared to be worse off than I had been. I needed to help. She was my friend though I still wanted to be more than friends with her. But right now all that mattered was saving her. "Sora, what's the matter with you, get up!" I exclaimed placing both my hands on her arm, attempting to pull her up. "She's stuck." Jyou came over, and we both tried to pull her up, but she would not budge. Suddenly she began to speak, not noticing us.
She launched into an explanation of her feelings; how she was putting too much pressure on herself. "Just relax," I soothed, a true smile, something I hadn't shown in a while, lighting up on my face. "Everything's going to be alright now."
Sora looked up at me. "I'm afraid not. I haven't been trying hard enough. I have to get to Taichi and help him fight." She turned to look at Jyou. "Because if I don't, the whole world will be destroyed."
"You can't be responsible for saving the entire world." Jyou reasoned.
"You have to realize how strong your negative feelings are. Sora, it's the darkness in your heart that's created the cave in the first place, don't you get it?" I exclaimed.
Jyou and Takeru had both stopped looking at Sora and were gazing at me attentively. "Is that why you told Takeru not to be scared?" Jyou wondered.
"Sora, listen to me," I begged, feeling my eyes grow softer and cold heart beginning to melt, "there's only one way to make this cave disappear. You have to reach deep inside your heart and erase all the negative feelings.
I could feel the cold darkness snap at me as though it knew I was trying to save Sora from it. "I don't know if I can," she replied meekly, "what should I do?"
It seemed as though some sort of light was emanating off me and stretching to Sora. I could sense the darkness cowering from it, yet still holding its victim with what little grasp it could manage. Sora was fighting. "You'll have to find the answer to that question on your own." As much as I wanted to help her, I knew the only way the darkness could disappear was if she made it. It was her battle, but I could definitely be the encourager now. "Sora, this isn't the kind of thing you do because you have to. If you're going to do it then it has to be because you want to."
"You mean that I don't have to do it if I don't want to?"
I nodded my head. Come on Sora! "I'm so confused. How will I know what the right thing to do is?" she asked. The darkness was beginning to disappear. Jyou began encouraging her and the next thing we knew, a powerful light was coming from us and engulfed Sora. We both reached our hands to hers, and she gladly grabbed them, giving us a huge smile.
"I get it now!" she exclaimed. "You were right, Yamato! How did you know?" she asked as Takeru and the digimon beamed at her.
"I kinda went through the same thing myself," I replied, grinning like a fool. I never doubted you Sora. I'm glad you're back!
Piyomon rushed forward to embrace her partner. "Sora!"
"Piyomon!" Sora let go of Jyou's hand and very slowly let go of mine. I turned away from everyone to hide my blush. The cave disappeared, and we were outside.
"Taichi's waiting for us right now. Let's go!" I exclaimed facing Sora. She turned back to me and gave me a gigantic smile, eyes glowing and full of an emotion I had seen once before. As we began to walk away, I remembered the after effects of the darkness. I was walking behind Sora and began to warn her. "Um, Sora…" but before I could get any further, she swayed and fell over backwards. I stretched out my arms and caught her. Jyou, Takeru, and all our digimon looked over at us concerned. "It's okay," I said. "Gabumon, you and Piyomon will need to digivolve. That'll get us to Taichi and the others faster. Jyou put Takeru on Birdramon and get on Garurumon. I'll bring Sora once she's able to fly."
"Okay," Piyomon said. "I should have no problem digivolving! There's plenty of love in the air!" Sora glared at Piyomon while Jyou, Keru, and I caught each others' eyes. We really didn't know what she was talking about. Must be a girl thing!
I attempted to help Sora stand up, but her legs were still like jelly. Hesitantly, I wrapped an arm around her, allowing her to stand up, yet still be supported by me. Her head was slightly laying against my shoulder, and I knew I was blushing. "Yama," she said. I stopped. The only person who had ever called me that was Keru.
"Yama?" I repeated.
"I'm sorry," she said, "Yamat…"
I silenced her with a look. "Yama's fine. What is it?"
"Thank you," she whispered, closing her eyes. "You saved me from the darkness."
"Jyou and I." I stated, correcting her.
She shook her head. "Yes, Jyou helped but if it wasn't for you…well, I don't think I would have ever escaped the darkness…" She trailed off.
"It's no problem," I answered. "I do it again in a heartbeat." Baka! Why did I say that! She's staring at me now! What can I do?
"I'll remember that." She said as we reached Birdramon. She finally regained the ability to walk yet still accepted my hand to help her get onto Birdramon…
End Flashback
From that day on, I hardly ever heard the name Yamato escape Sora's lips. Sora began referring to me as Yama and still does to this day. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I bumped into someone as I turned the corner. "Sorry," I began extending a hand, only to notice who the other person was.
"Ishida, I would appreciate if you watched where you are going."
I grinned my best smile. "You're lucky I didn't drop the rice balls. Taichi would be pretty mad at you if I did."
Sora looked over at me, rolled her eyes, and mouthed the words, you're impossible. We walked together down the road in a comfortable silence and reached the crosswalk across from the park. Sora began to step out into it the street when a car came whizzing by. "Sora watch out!" I exclaimed, pulling her out of harm's way and into my arms.
"Thank you," she whispered, clinging onto me.
"Anytime." I replied. "Now come on. I'll hold your hand, just to make sure you're safe." I finished smirking.
"Baka," she replied but nonetheless accepted my hand. I had finally understood the meaning of friendship and was beginning to realize just how much and what Love means to me.
A/N: That took a really long time to type! I cut the flashbacks as much as I could but left what was needed (I think!). In case you're wondering, after he had escaped the darkness, Yamato was a little lightheaded and felt faint, which was what he was attempting to warn Sora of. I hope you guys like this chapter! I'll update soon and please review!