::Warnings/Disclaimer::

Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me, I make absolutely squat off the fiction. sigh…anyways. They belong to square and Disney, and have graced my muse with enough stuff to chew on to keep me busy.

This fic is based off the Deep Dive video, and I've had it on countless repeat to get the plot hammered out. You'll see some familiar lines and scenes that I've worked out…and again, I know I'm not the only one to do this…but damn if I didn't take a different way, okay? It's mostly Riku's pov, with inserts…

And…um, this is also going to be shonen ai—but that's not a big surprise, ne?

( and I have no clue how long this will be…;;; )

-=Altercation=-

-=one=-

r-r-rrrrr-a-ra-ra-ra!

Jumping, startled, his eyes flew open in the shade and sunlight. Above him birds exploded into flight, crying out their peculiar ra-ra-ra in annoyance of his motion. He only noticed the sound they left behind; it was an echoing syllable of something familiar—

He looked up, head knocking into a roughness, and peered through the lattice-work of branches and leaves. The sky gleamed beyond them, leaving shadows on his skin and clothes. A tree. The sky, daylight and salty freshness of the ocean—automatically, his cerulean eyes dropped to take the line of water surging gently against the pale sands.

Sora stood, brushing at his clothes and knees, digging bare toes into the cool and damp sand. The ocean. The beach. Trees and sand and the warmth of the sun—

He was home.

It was over.

Sora walked forward into the light and smiled.

-oOo-

He dreamed, knew he was dreaming, as he stood in the water and watched, unable to move, unable to look away, and tried with all his might to scream. Screaming, noise, essence of his own defiance—it would wake him because it was a dream—

The birds were the only noise he could hear. Mocking horrible noises that parodied his cries of 'Sora! Sora, don't, Sora look at me!'

Because he was dreaming. Sound was nearly nonexistent; the waves were a pressure he felt in his bones, the wind only a sensation on his skin. Even thoughts and his heartbeat sounded hollow—

I'm not meant to be

—watching-dreaming-dying-screaming—

not meant

He might as well be dying; he had no influence. Not as the brunette walked wonderingly down the beach, so close and unable to hear him, as the waves dragged at his body and froze him to the core of his soul and he couldn't scream—

not here. here. not-here.

Riku choked as the metallic-tasting water splashed against his face, soaking him further, but didn't dare pull his eyes from the boy wandering lazily along the sand. Didn't dare. It was Sora, and he was there, and it was a goddamn dream—

he's here-here-he's here

He leaned forward to balance against the waves and found it was all he could do. No stepping forward, no calling out even though he tried—

…this isn't my dream came the horrified thought.

And it wasn't, he realized, as the world crackled around him.

It was Sora's.

-oOo-

r-r-raaa-ra-ra-raa!

Sora raised eyes to his right, above the trees, as the birds flew into the air with their screeching. He watched them fly over the island to circle the trees and marveled at how peaceful everything was. Calm.

Pretty, he thought. But I don't want to be alone.

There'll be someone else here, replied his common sense. Sora dug his feet into the sand, stretching. How would I get here, if there wasn't?

Automatically, his eyes scanned the surroundings for anyone familiar—hell, anyone at all—but the island was silent but for the birds and the wind and his own thoughts.

Huh. Weird. Well, it's a big place; maybe they're all over somewhere else.

Sora pulled his feet free of the sand and took a few steps forward. He laced his fingers behind his head and made dry whistling sounds to counter the shushing of the wind. Absently, he kicked at the sand and scanned the shoreline with sharp eyes.

—listen—

The birds had settled on the tops of the palms, clicking their beaks and chittering. Sora ignored them easily; Truthfully, he had almost forgotten about their presence until they exploded into flight again with their rough screaming cries.

or-raaa-raaa-rarrrraa!

Sora flinched and tracked their flight with annoyed humor, watching them circle far around the trees and length of sands. "Stupid birds," he muttered to himself. Sora scrubbed a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. There's gotta be someone here, somewhere—I mean there's only so much room on this island—

The boy looked around again, skin prickling with unease because it was so quiet with just the wind and the waves and the screaming birds. He felt like screaming himself, just to see if someone would respond—the boy tugged harder at his head, trying to think.

"What are you doing?" came an amused and familiar voice.

Sora whirled in place, mouth dropping open and staring hard—it couldn't be—

—stop—

"Riku?"

-oOo-

The world went dark and tried to spit him out, tried to push him into the coldness when he caught sight of the second figure.

No. no no-no-no not this! he tried to scream—couldn't and felt himself tear apart inside. Oh please, please, Sora no—

"…Sora…"

For a moment he dared to think it was his voice that broke the silence, but it wasn't. Riku choked on the breath of straining to step forward to get out of the dragging waves. It wasn't him. Not him. This couldn't be real!

But Sora had turned around and now—oh god—he walked towards the not-him person on the sands. He could see the delighted grin on Sora's face.

No,Riku shrieked noiselessly, leaning forward, clawing at the water as sand grated under his feet and in his boots. Sand grated everywhere. His clothes dragged at him like lead, the water stinging across his skin.

This isn't real this isn't real isn't real it's a dream it's not

The water dragged him back and Sora stood only a few feet away from the not-Riku, smiling. Shy. They spoke too quietly to hear—he looked so happy—

Riku drew a sobbing breath, blinking salt from his eyes and leaned desperately against the pull of the water.

Oh god please, please, don't let this be real

Not real not me it's not me

On the shore, the not-Riku casually reached out and brushed fingers against Sora's arm, smiling with his smile and pushing back his hair. And Sora was laughing. Smiling. Happy.

But it wasn't him!

No matter how hard he tried, how he screamed, Sora couldn't hear him.

I can't—I won't give up—I can't—this isn't real! Riku dug his feet against the sand and choked on the water, unable to move and unwilling to let it pull him under.

-oOo-

"Did you sleep out here? Your mom's been waiting for you." Riku paused. "She thought you'd run away."

Sora smiled in fond embarrassment and shook his head. "She's worried all the time now…" He looked around in the dappled shadows and the sands and the blue-white curl of the water. He couldn't stop the strange sigh that escaped him.

"Sora? Are you okay?"

"It's over," Sora said aloud, lifting his face to the sun. Something coiled in bittersweet pain. "It's really over."

"You're weird," Riku grinned; Sora thought of how much he had missed that expression, that smile.

"Am not!" Sora stuck out his tongue and swiped at him with a loose fist.

Riku danced away into the shadows of the trees, the sunlight sliding over him like quicksilver. Earthy sand and pebbles of the path between the palms skittered away from his bare feet. "You are!" the boy teased.

—stop—

"Hah!" Sora darted after him, quick hands and nimble body; it was easy to grab a hold around the waist, despite that Riku was just as fast. Laughter like reflected water from both of them as Riku got the upper hand.

The world spun; Sora laughed, catching flashes of Riku's sea-green eyes and his pale hair and smiling mouth as the world flipped with him.

—this isn't real—

The birds flew into the air, shrieking—

s-rraaa-raa-orr-rrraaa-ra!

—and as he fell to the ground, he saw a blackness in the bright reflecting water.

Sora hit the ground, knocked from the playfulness of the mood as quickly and as roughly as the ground felt on his elbows—just as quickly, he pushed himself up and stared—

—at water, just water—

—The world was colder in the shade.

Riku?

"Sora?"

Hands on his shoulders and Sora flinched, looked over to see Riku. Frowning, he glanced out over the water and didn't answer.

"Sora?" Riku sounded more insistent. "Did I hurt you? What's wrong?"

"…I saw…"

-saw you in the water

-for just a moment. Is this real?

-you were…

"What did you see?"

Sora allowed himself to be helped to his feet. "Someone in the water." This can't be real…

Riku's hands went hard and cold around his wrist—Sora blinked and realized he had stepped forward out of the shadows and onto the sand.

"Don't," the other boy's voice was low in warning.

Looking back, the smile faded from his face. Who are you? he wanted to ask. It couldn't have been Riku; he knew it, somehow. Riku's face, his smile, his eyes—but it wasn't him…was it?

"Don't what?" Sora replied softly. "Don't look at the water? Don't go near it?"

"Don't do this—"

Something desperate lurked behind Riku's face. Something dark. Sora smiled at the creature. "…I'm sorry." He slipped his hand free with a deft twist of his wrist and darted forward.

Because I saw you in the water.

"Sora!" The other boy cried behind him. Loud. Demanding. Insistent.

But that's not you, is it?

The gritty sand clung to his feet and ankles as he ran for the water. Into the sunlight that that felt almost cold against his skin. Into a breeze that smelled of salt and earth and rain.

Riku. Riku, I'm coming—

The world seemed to flicker on the edge of his vision. Washed-out sky blurred into the graying sea. Sand screeched like glass under his feet. Breathing was difficult, so hard, even as the ground shook beneath him, as the waves drew back in warning. Two steps away, one—

Riku—!

The water hit his ankles and legs with biting cold. So cold for this time of year. Sora pushed himself forward, staggering, eyes fixed on that strange ripped-apart void where Riku flickered in and out of his view. Seeing the water that choked him, the darkness that pulled at him. The void behind him that threatened to swallow him up—

His eyes—eyes— his eyes are—

Five yards out and the water reached his chest. The sand was thick and muddy; the water pushing him away and down. If he slipped he knew he'd never make it to the surface again. Never. Not when Riku was so close; he couldn't let him get away—

—Sora don't, Sora—

Sora coughed violently when the water crept past his mouth and noise. So hard to swim, he couldn't touch the bottom any more. The world had disappeared into nothing but the numbing waves and the salt-taste in his mouth. Legs and arms ached, how they hurt because it felt that the water was ripping him apart and he was so close—

I have to—I have to reach him—

For a moment he got a clear glimpse of Riku, his sopping ragged clothes, tangled hair. The expression of fear and relief in his face—

—love—

and then the waves caught them around the middle and yanked them under, yanked them down into the murky darkness. The water stung his eyes as he searched for Riku, found him by the luminance of his eyes and skin—even underwater, Riku nearly glowed.

Against the darkness wrapped around him, pulling him deeper, he shone.

So close. I have to get to him—reach, just a little farther!

Sora kicked, stretching arm and fingers to the boy who held his hand out, to the boy who paid no mind to the horrible things pulling him away. Sora caught his eyes and held them, reaching, trying to grasp the fingers in his.

Riku. Riku Riku Riku—

Fingers touched and Riku smiled at him, and then the world grabbed Sora around the middle and yanked him away again.

-oOo-

Gasping, Riku woke with a gasp. He could breathe. His hands twitched—he could almost feel Sora's fingers against his, almost believed it was a palm against his, even as it bunched and revealed itself to be fabric.

Someone was cursing softly just beyond him. His reaction was automatic; he scuttled back on the bed until the wall pressed against him, bare heels kicking up the sheets and his hand groping for a weapon.

The Keyblade flared into existence as Riku raised his head, glaring through the blindfold. He could make out the young face of a man with dark hair and stern features. "Who are you?" he rasped with a dull, aching throat, slinging the blade against the man's sternum.

"Goddammit," the man spat with the back of his hand to his mouth. Riku could smell the blood.

Did I hit him? I must have hit him in my sleep—

The man eyed him sourly, and swiped the blood away. "I'm the one who pulled your ass off the ground, boy. Name's Leon. And you are…?"

"…This is Traverse Town?" Riku glanced around without lowering his weapon. The air was cold, the room was cold and he was barely dressed. Shit.

"Yes."

"Where are my clothes?" Where's my stuff?

"Getting cleaned." The man scowled and crossed his arms. "I suppose I'd have better luck looking for the name your mommy stitched on your underwear?"

Riku banished the blade and snapped, "Look, what the hell do you care? I'm just passing through, okay? Thanks for carrying me, or whatever you did, but I really don't have time to waste."

"I think you do."

"Yeah? Give me one good reason, asshole, before I kick your sorry scrawny butt to the darkness." Riku slid off the bed, wincing at the half-healed bruises and protesting muscles.

Leon eyed him sharply and snorted. "I can give you several. One; you're carrying Sora's Keyblade. Two, you were screaming for him in your sleep—" he paused and Riku froze as well, the memory of a dream floating up through the muck.

"…oh god," Riku said to himself. That couldn't have been real. It couldn't be. There's no way…right?

"—so, that leads me to believe you either knew him or killed him. Which was it?"

Riku stopped himself from turning to face Leon, hair catching in the blindfold, in his mouth as he spoke. "I didn't kill him." He held out his hand and frowned as the Keyblade winked into his palm. "As for this…it's not his blade. It's just the keychain…"

…because there's more than one…

…and he knew about the keyblade…he knew about Sora… Riku inhaled with the knowledge and raised his head violently. "You knew him? Sora? Is he here?"

-oOo-

Sora broke through the surface of the water, gasping for breath and choking on it. Arms tightened around his waist; he could feel the churning water as someone kicked their legs just behind his.

What…am I doing? I'm drowning—what did I do?

Riku had a deathgrip around his waist. Sora could see the profile of his friend from the corner of his eye, could see the hair sticking to the face and the water on the skin. He could feel the rough jerking of the chest as Riku breathed and swam and kicked.

Riku?

"You're insane!" Riku cried out as he dragged the two of them onto the shore. Sora flopped into the sands with a strange little giggle. Riku dropped to his knees beside him, fingers raking through the hair and flinging droplets.

What was I doing, out there in the water? Why--Why can't I-- Sora couldn't help but stare up at him. Riku was furious, eyes blazing and hair sticking up in weird angles, his clothes dripping; hell, he was all dripping water and sand.

"You're crazy, you know that? What the hell is wrong with you? You don't just run into the water like you're gonna bounce off, you idiot!"

"I ran into the water?" Sora mused to himself. "Weird. Did I scare you?"

"Yes, stupid! You scared the shit out of me!" Riku paused for a much needed, calming breath. "Don't do stupid things like that on your bad days, okay?"

"…bad days?" Sora stared up into the sky with the wispy clouds and blinked.

Riku moved across his vision, blocking out the sun. He cupped Sora's face without warning, and stared down at him. "Sora, you have to remember that you have bad days, sometimes, and you do reckless things…it's like it's not even you in there...."

That's not right…is it?

"I don't…"

"You have to stop scaring me, okay? Everyone's been worried, everyone's scared that you're gonna go mad and do something really stupid—I thought that things were better for a while, but they're not because you're still—"

He looks so…sad. Sora pulled at Riku's hands until he could sit up. "Still what?"

Riku wrapped his arms around his head, wracked with some horrid emotion. "Still seeing things that aren't there. Seeing people that don't exist. God, I hate explaining this over and over! Why can't you just remember this and stay good?"

Seeing…things? People?

Cold welled up in Sora's stomach until he felt sick, until he could feel it leeching onto the back of his teeth.

…was it all…fake? Were all those places fake? All those people? Thos worlds? All of it—all of it wasn't real?!

"I…Riku, I—"

Before the words and questions spilled out, Riku reached out and pulled him into a hug so fierce, Sora felt his ribs ache. Hesitantly, he raised his arms to the waist and squeezed.

Was everything a dream?

"Try, please try, okay, Sora?" Riku's voice. Riku's smell. His arms and chest and heartbeat…dreams couldn't feel this real. Dreams couldn't hurt this much.

It had to be real.

"I'm…sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" Sora whispered, clenching his arms. He didn't know what he had done, didn't know if he had really done any of those wonderful things. If any of those worlds, those people, those struggles to keep standing…

…if none of it was real…if the Keyblade wasn't real…

"I'll try," Sora whispered softly. "I'll try, okay?"

…and I'll figure this out…somehow, I'll figure out which world is real…

::TBC::

a/n – uh. Really, I can't tell you what's going on…..and, um, this might disappoint some people, but I honestly have no clue where this is going and when it'll be updated again…;;;; really really sorry, but until I hammer the rest of the plot out, it'll just…kinda be like this? I kinda know…and I guess I'll just have to…figure something out. --;;