My head throbbed, and the world blurred out of focus. For a moment it seemed like I was seeing colors that the human--or wolf--eye shouldn't be able to see; then my vision cleared, and--
and-- what? Wha... what is this? A dream?
I looked around, startled, my eyes jumping from one spot to the next, trying to take it all in. We were in a building of some sort, but it was transparent. It was a sickly purple color, the shade of a fresh bruise. Near the seams, the places where the walls and ceiling came together, it was darker, more opaque, and gradually faded so that it was almost invisible in the center of the walls. Outside, I could see other buildings, ghostly translucent like this one. I felt a soft breeze, and I saw the walls of the buildings actually bending in it, billowing like sails. Bright, silvery clouds swirled, tossed and roiled madly in the blackening sky above, tinged purple by the building's transparent ceiling. In the east, I saw the sky was much brighter, and the sun was just above the horizon.
In the west, the same was true of the moon. Billions of bright stars shone overhead, stars that were far brighter than any I'd ever seen before. There were other things up there, too; I saw nine objects, brighter than anything save the sun and moon, that looked as though they could easily be the nine planets in the solar system. Wait... why were there nine? ...Were we even on Earth? Would I be surprised if we weren't? Not really. I glanced up to see the rings around Saturn, the red spot of Jupiter, the red surface of Mars... and there, in the center of a huge cloud-like cluster of stars--nebula?--there was some strange, dark planet I'd never heard of before. Well, that would explain the ninth, I suppose. Bright, quick comets sped across the brilliant sky, and every now and then I saw a bright flash of white in the corner of my eye. Constellations stood out in sharp contrast to the dark sky, seeming to be something more cohesive and meaningful than a simple grouping of stars.
The most spectacular object, however, was the asteroid belt. It stretched across the sky in a wide arc, a colossal band of broken pieces of stone. I gazed up at the sky for several moments before the other werewolf (who is he? why did he bring me here? how? what is this place? is he going to kill me..? stop talking to yourself, Ashley) spoke again.
"Up there... that's the Aetherial Realm," he whispered, following my gaze to the majestic skies above. I saw he was back in human form; his eyes were still bright and silvery, giving his human face a haunted, disturbing look. His voice was soft and airy. Things sounded... different here. Clearer, more focused... I didn't pay too much attention, though; I was thoroughly enthralled just looking around, taking it all in. "This is what we call the Umbra. The spiritual reflection of the material world. Uh... actually, this is the Penumbra, but I... uhm... I won't go into that.. right now. The first thing you need to know is that... well... logic and physics don't... they don't work the same way here. ...Just don't try to make sense of anything."
"Who are you?" I asked, still staring at the sky. I did not speak in English; like before, instinct took over, and I spoke in the werewolf tongue... the growling voice the first werewolf had spoken in before, back in--
Back where? Detroit? Were we still in Detroit? Where were we? Where was the Umbra? ...Where..?
"I was born David Lienson. Now I'm Dejuhty Waking-Moon."
"So...uh..."
"Just call me David. ...Uhm...you?"
"Me..?" For a moment, I was completely lost. Then, feeling like an idiot, I said, "Uh. I'm Ashley Henderson."
Still scanning the sky, I noticed something else, something... different. I squinted, trying to get a better look at it. Near the Big Dipper, I saw a bright red object. A spectral, crimson star. I shivered and looked away, glancing down at my feet and the quiet, uniform grey of the concrete-like ground. That star gave me a sense of, not majesty and beauty like the others had, but of corruption, of fear, of impending doom.
The boy sighed, then spoke up again. "That's Anthelios. The Red Star. Many of our Theurges--uh... they're... our seers, our prophets--they believe it heralds the Apocalypse."
"The Apocalypse...?" Even though it was still spoken in animal grunts, my voice sounded panicked and afraid. I was already beginning to notice that the werewolf voice was just as complex as my human voice. Not only could I speak with as many different tones as with human vocal cords, but my voice was also different than his. Unique, once more like a human voice.
"That's right. Come on, let's walk."
He strode briskly toward the almost-invisible door, then stepped right through it. I hurried after him, pausing before walking through the door; I tried tapping on it, and my hand passed right through. I tried the same on the wall next to it, with slightly different results: my hand still went through, but this time it felt as if it were being pulled through honey. I saw the wall stretch with my hand, then snap back into position when I pulled it back out. Some sort of violet goo clung to my hand momentarily, then dissipated into the air. I stepped through the door, then sprinted to catch up with David, who was still walking. Outside, the sky was brighter and even more brilliant; this time, there were no semi-transparent purple ceilings between it and me. I noticed that we were walking in the opposite direction as the bright red star, and I wasn't at all unhappy with that. Something about that star made me very uneasy.
We walked for a long time. He stepped lightly, quietly, through the ghost roads--the 'Umbral' roads, I should say--between the ephemeral purple structures, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his blue jeans. Me? I plodded along after him, still in my enormous werewolf body, gawking at everything around me. Finally, he stopped, then tipped his head backwards a bit and sniffed at the air tentatively.
I sighed heavily, wearily. At first, this place had seemed like some sort of miracle; I could just stop thinking about all the strange things that had happened, and just admire the sky. Now, though... things were coming back. Something was eating away at me, gnawing at my mind, and I couldn't shut it out...
"Why did I kill him?" I asked abruptly.
David turned around to look at me, raising his eyebrow questioningly. "Hmm? Who?"
"The... the person... back at my house. There were two of them... two men... before the Egyptian wolf with the swords... the first one, I just... killed him. Before I knew he and his friend were werewolves. I just... it was like... I don't know. I saw them, and all I could think about was how... how I could savage and kill them." I looked down at my claws, and the drying crimson blood that stained them.
He started walking again, and I followed reluctantly. "Ah. It's... that's what we call a frenzy," he said. "It happens. I'll explain the finer details later, but, werewolves... it's our Rage. Rage is a force or 'power,' you could say, that lives within us. It makes us stronger, faster... it gives us the drive, the will to fight. We need that. But it's also dangerous... we have to fight to keep it under control, or else it will take over and we become nothing more than mindless killing machines. We have to use it without letting it use us, and it isn't easy. That's what happened to you. And... tonight, it was okay. It happens to every werewolf during their First Change. This time, there's nothing you could have done. The Rage has been inside you since your conception, and finally broke out."
I felt it flare up again, suddenly... the anger, the wrath... Rage? Flattening my ears against my skull, I snarled, "Okay? There's nothing... nothing... What do you mean it's okay? ...I killed a man. I killed him! And that's 'okay'? It 'happens'?"
In one fluid motion, he shifted into his tall, lithe man-wolf form, then knocked me to the ground with the grace of a practiced martial artist. He ended up kneeling next to me, his hand at the base of my neck, pinning me down. "Calm down," he commanded in a loud growl. He waited a few moments, then slowly stepped back and let me up. I stood up clumsily, fuming and glaring at him.
"You've got to keep your Rage under control, unless you want the frenzy to happen again," he hissed, returning to human form. "It might be an ally next time. And yes, it is 'okay'. The man you killed was what we call a Black Spiral Dancer. An enemy. If you hadn't killed him first, Heru would have."
"Maybe, but... but I'm going to see that... that... carnage for the rest of my life," I told him sullenly. "And you just act like... I don't know... like someone who's... who's just run over a squirrel. ...It happens."
"We're warriors, Ashley. We're at war. I'm not the cold, uncaring person you probably think I am. I've killed people--probably some I shouldn't have. Yes, it's hard--not hard to kill, but hard to live with it afterwards. But Ashley, we're killers. We have to kill. Look, we're part wolf, and they have to kill just to eat." He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He looked almost as frustrated and angry as I felt. "It's good that you're concerned about it. It's good that you don't like the idea of killing another person. That's what keeps us from just killing anyone we don't like. ...There's too many Garou who've lost that, who just kill... because they can. It isn't right. But it's also not right to let your conscience have complete control over your actions. Sometimes, you will have to fight, and you will have to kill. Like I said, we're at war. Our enemies would gladly kill us if they got the chance."
"We're not at war... maybe you are... how did I get involved?" I growled threateningly.
"You were born into it, Ashley. I'm sorry, you don't have a lot of choice. We're a race who's been at war since before human civilization. You can't run from it. If we lose this war, it means the end of the world, okay?" His voice was getting louder and higher-pitched, and I could tell he was fighting the urge to scream at me. He stopped talking for a few minutes, breathing slowly to calm himself. Then, much softer, he added, "Yeah, it's hard. But we have to learn to deal with it." After a brief pause, he continued, "So...uh... you think maybe you could come out of Crinos now?"
and-- what? Wha... what is this? A dream?
I looked around, startled, my eyes jumping from one spot to the next, trying to take it all in. We were in a building of some sort, but it was transparent. It was a sickly purple color, the shade of a fresh bruise. Near the seams, the places where the walls and ceiling came together, it was darker, more opaque, and gradually faded so that it was almost invisible in the center of the walls. Outside, I could see other buildings, ghostly translucent like this one. I felt a soft breeze, and I saw the walls of the buildings actually bending in it, billowing like sails. Bright, silvery clouds swirled, tossed and roiled madly in the blackening sky above, tinged purple by the building's transparent ceiling. In the east, I saw the sky was much brighter, and the sun was just above the horizon.
In the west, the same was true of the moon. Billions of bright stars shone overhead, stars that were far brighter than any I'd ever seen before. There were other things up there, too; I saw nine objects, brighter than anything save the sun and moon, that looked as though they could easily be the nine planets in the solar system. Wait... why were there nine? ...Were we even on Earth? Would I be surprised if we weren't? Not really. I glanced up to see the rings around Saturn, the red spot of Jupiter, the red surface of Mars... and there, in the center of a huge cloud-like cluster of stars--nebula?--there was some strange, dark planet I'd never heard of before. Well, that would explain the ninth, I suppose. Bright, quick comets sped across the brilliant sky, and every now and then I saw a bright flash of white in the corner of my eye. Constellations stood out in sharp contrast to the dark sky, seeming to be something more cohesive and meaningful than a simple grouping of stars.
The most spectacular object, however, was the asteroid belt. It stretched across the sky in a wide arc, a colossal band of broken pieces of stone. I gazed up at the sky for several moments before the other werewolf (who is he? why did he bring me here? how? what is this place? is he going to kill me..? stop talking to yourself, Ashley) spoke again.
"Up there... that's the Aetherial Realm," he whispered, following my gaze to the majestic skies above. I saw he was back in human form; his eyes were still bright and silvery, giving his human face a haunted, disturbing look. His voice was soft and airy. Things sounded... different here. Clearer, more focused... I didn't pay too much attention, though; I was thoroughly enthralled just looking around, taking it all in. "This is what we call the Umbra. The spiritual reflection of the material world. Uh... actually, this is the Penumbra, but I... uhm... I won't go into that.. right now. The first thing you need to know is that... well... logic and physics don't... they don't work the same way here. ...Just don't try to make sense of anything."
"Who are you?" I asked, still staring at the sky. I did not speak in English; like before, instinct took over, and I spoke in the werewolf tongue... the growling voice the first werewolf had spoken in before, back in--
Back where? Detroit? Were we still in Detroit? Where were we? Where was the Umbra? ...Where..?
"I was born David Lienson. Now I'm Dejuhty Waking-Moon."
"So...uh..."
"Just call me David. ...Uhm...you?"
"Me..?" For a moment, I was completely lost. Then, feeling like an idiot, I said, "Uh. I'm Ashley Henderson."
Still scanning the sky, I noticed something else, something... different. I squinted, trying to get a better look at it. Near the Big Dipper, I saw a bright red object. A spectral, crimson star. I shivered and looked away, glancing down at my feet and the quiet, uniform grey of the concrete-like ground. That star gave me a sense of, not majesty and beauty like the others had, but of corruption, of fear, of impending doom.
The boy sighed, then spoke up again. "That's Anthelios. The Red Star. Many of our Theurges--uh... they're... our seers, our prophets--they believe it heralds the Apocalypse."
"The Apocalypse...?" Even though it was still spoken in animal grunts, my voice sounded panicked and afraid. I was already beginning to notice that the werewolf voice was just as complex as my human voice. Not only could I speak with as many different tones as with human vocal cords, but my voice was also different than his. Unique, once more like a human voice.
"That's right. Come on, let's walk."
He strode briskly toward the almost-invisible door, then stepped right through it. I hurried after him, pausing before walking through the door; I tried tapping on it, and my hand passed right through. I tried the same on the wall next to it, with slightly different results: my hand still went through, but this time it felt as if it were being pulled through honey. I saw the wall stretch with my hand, then snap back into position when I pulled it back out. Some sort of violet goo clung to my hand momentarily, then dissipated into the air. I stepped through the door, then sprinted to catch up with David, who was still walking. Outside, the sky was brighter and even more brilliant; this time, there were no semi-transparent purple ceilings between it and me. I noticed that we were walking in the opposite direction as the bright red star, and I wasn't at all unhappy with that. Something about that star made me very uneasy.
We walked for a long time. He stepped lightly, quietly, through the ghost roads--the 'Umbral' roads, I should say--between the ephemeral purple structures, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his blue jeans. Me? I plodded along after him, still in my enormous werewolf body, gawking at everything around me. Finally, he stopped, then tipped his head backwards a bit and sniffed at the air tentatively.
I sighed heavily, wearily. At first, this place had seemed like some sort of miracle; I could just stop thinking about all the strange things that had happened, and just admire the sky. Now, though... things were coming back. Something was eating away at me, gnawing at my mind, and I couldn't shut it out...
"Why did I kill him?" I asked abruptly.
David turned around to look at me, raising his eyebrow questioningly. "Hmm? Who?"
"The... the person... back at my house. There were two of them... two men... before the Egyptian wolf with the swords... the first one, I just... killed him. Before I knew he and his friend were werewolves. I just... it was like... I don't know. I saw them, and all I could think about was how... how I could savage and kill them." I looked down at my claws, and the drying crimson blood that stained them.
He started walking again, and I followed reluctantly. "Ah. It's... that's what we call a frenzy," he said. "It happens. I'll explain the finer details later, but, werewolves... it's our Rage. Rage is a force or 'power,' you could say, that lives within us. It makes us stronger, faster... it gives us the drive, the will to fight. We need that. But it's also dangerous... we have to fight to keep it under control, or else it will take over and we become nothing more than mindless killing machines. We have to use it without letting it use us, and it isn't easy. That's what happened to you. And... tonight, it was okay. It happens to every werewolf during their First Change. This time, there's nothing you could have done. The Rage has been inside you since your conception, and finally broke out."
I felt it flare up again, suddenly... the anger, the wrath... Rage? Flattening my ears against my skull, I snarled, "Okay? There's nothing... nothing... What do you mean it's okay? ...I killed a man. I killed him! And that's 'okay'? It 'happens'?"
In one fluid motion, he shifted into his tall, lithe man-wolf form, then knocked me to the ground with the grace of a practiced martial artist. He ended up kneeling next to me, his hand at the base of my neck, pinning me down. "Calm down," he commanded in a loud growl. He waited a few moments, then slowly stepped back and let me up. I stood up clumsily, fuming and glaring at him.
"You've got to keep your Rage under control, unless you want the frenzy to happen again," he hissed, returning to human form. "It might be an ally next time. And yes, it is 'okay'. The man you killed was what we call a Black Spiral Dancer. An enemy. If you hadn't killed him first, Heru would have."
"Maybe, but... but I'm going to see that... that... carnage for the rest of my life," I told him sullenly. "And you just act like... I don't know... like someone who's... who's just run over a squirrel. ...It happens."
"We're warriors, Ashley. We're at war. I'm not the cold, uncaring person you probably think I am. I've killed people--probably some I shouldn't have. Yes, it's hard--not hard to kill, but hard to live with it afterwards. But Ashley, we're killers. We have to kill. Look, we're part wolf, and they have to kill just to eat." He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He looked almost as frustrated and angry as I felt. "It's good that you're concerned about it. It's good that you don't like the idea of killing another person. That's what keeps us from just killing anyone we don't like. ...There's too many Garou who've lost that, who just kill... because they can. It isn't right. But it's also not right to let your conscience have complete control over your actions. Sometimes, you will have to fight, and you will have to kill. Like I said, we're at war. Our enemies would gladly kill us if they got the chance."
"We're not at war... maybe you are... how did I get involved?" I growled threateningly.
"You were born into it, Ashley. I'm sorry, you don't have a lot of choice. We're a race who's been at war since before human civilization. You can't run from it. If we lose this war, it means the end of the world, okay?" His voice was getting louder and higher-pitched, and I could tell he was fighting the urge to scream at me. He stopped talking for a few minutes, breathing slowly to calm himself. Then, much softer, he added, "Yeah, it's hard. But we have to learn to deal with it." After a brief pause, he continued, "So...uh... you think maybe you could come out of Crinos now?"