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Anime Battle Royal I
Chapter 2
Thursday, November 08, 2001
Vegeta, Trunks, Kirby, Serge and all related characters are
owned by Naoko Takeuchi, Akira Toriyama, FUNimation, Nintendo, Playstation and
others.
Sun, Snorb, and Matt are all owned by us.
All other characters either featured or mentioned are the property of their
respective owners.
The Anime Battle Royal (c) 2001 - THE END OF TIME
WARNING
This fic has been rated PG-13 for language and some sexual comments that kids
wouldn't understand anyway. Minors shouldn't view this fic... but hey, if you
really wanna... by all means. . ENJOY!
WARNING
Hey everyone! Hope U liked the first chapter! Just incase you forgot... ()'s are stage directions. []'s are thought's, author's notes, and fight headers. is an onomatopoeia. K?
-Chris, Chris, and Matt
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[Fight Three: Trunks vs. Jigglypuff: Layeth the Smaketh Downth]
Announcer: And, now, our third fight of the day, a piss-poor pink Jigglyfoo versus a purple-haired psycho Saiyan.
Trunks: (powers up)
Jigglypuff: Jiiiig! [Piss-poor?!]
(bell rings. Laguna's combat from FF8 starts playing.)
Trunks: Eat steel, Pokecritter! (charges Jigglypuff, but she rolls out of the way.)
Jigglypuff: Puff! (raises its middle... well, the Igglybuff evolution line lacks fingers, so it raises its entire left hand and pulls the skin beneath its right eye downward.)
Trunks: Gaaah! (fires a Final Flash, but it misses Jigglypuff)
Serge: (looks up from behind overturned table) ..... Is it over?
Michiru: (looks up) Yes, Serge. It is.
Serge: (gets back in seat)
Harry: How could you answer him, Michelle? That would mean he had to talk to you.
Serge: (shakes head so vigorously it seems like it'll fall off)
Michiru: WHAT did you just call me?!
Serge: (rolls eyes, contemplates remaining in Lynx's body for the rest of their lives)
Harry: I called you Michelle. That is your name, isn't it?
Michiru: (vaults out of her chair, knocking Harry to the ground) I'LL KILL YOU!
Serge: (unties bandanna, and offers it to Michiru, who starts strangling Harry with it)
Harry: (choking sounds)
Michiru: Let's get this straight. RIGHT. NOW. The name's Michiru! Spell it with me! Emm-Eye-Sea-Aetsch-Eye-Arr-You Tee-Eee-Enn-Ohh-Aetsch!
Harry: Umphh... (dies)
Trunks and Jigglypuff: (bigsweat)
Trunks: What a dork.
Jigglypuff: Pupuff. [Asswipe.]
Serge: ....? (motions to Harry)
Michiru: Hmm? Oh, you want this back. I'll trade for my mirror. (they exchange)
Trunks: Umm... COULD WE?!
Jigglypuff: Yeah! Stop infighting... umm... I mean... uh... Jigglypuff!
Trunks: Where were we? Ah, yes. (draws sword) Lookit me! I'm Crono!
Serge: (holds up a sign saying, "Lookit ME! I'm Serge!")
Jigglypuff: (takes out microphone/marker) JigaLEEpuff, jigaleeePUFF...
Trunks: Hahahaha! You think a song's gonna stop me?!
Announcer: Trunks, slice that thing in two. Please. Now.
Trunks: Sure thing.... whoa, should I be hallucinating like this?! (sees Jigglypuff as a giant stuffed toy, then collapses)
Everyone in the stadium: ZZZzzzz....
Jigglypuff: Pufff.... Puff? Jigaleeee! [Dammit, not again!] (inflates)
(several magic markers later)
Jigglypuff: Puff... Jig. Jigglypuff puff puff. [Let's see. Got everyone... hey, the judges are asleep. Maybe if I can push this twerp out of the ring... man, I talk to myself too much.] (pushes Trunks out of the ring)
Serge: yaaawn (blink. blink.)
Michiru: Hmm... Haruka... Huh?
Crowd: (general pandemonium)
Serge: (taps Michiru's shoulder, and points to Trunks)
Michiru: Hey, that pink fart actually ring outed Trunks?
Announcer: Whoa! In another stunning upset, a world-famous violinist beat the shit out of a third-rate horror writer! Oh, and Jigglypuff won the fight, to the apathy of everyone.
Crowd: (boos Jigglypuff)
Jigglypuff: TT
Michiru: Well, we have to give the crowd what they want.
Serge: (raises eyebrow, and shakes head)
Michiru: What do you mean? Jigglypuff won fair and square?
Serge: (nods)
Michiru: How in the hell does Leena understand you, Serge?
Serge: (shrugs)
Michiru: sigh I give up.
Serge: (spins around once, then starts pumping his fist in the air Final Fantasy VI-style)
Michiru: Now, who gets to tell Trunks the bad news?
Serge: (points at Vegeta)
Michiru: I say you should.
Serge: !!! (shakes head)
Michiru: Go and tell him, or I'll tell Leena we had sex.
Serge: (gives her a look that says, "Please do. Seriously. I mean that.")
Michiru: Then I'll tell Haruka we had sex.
Serge: oO (runs into the ring)
Trunks: ZZZzzz... (Serge taps his shoulder) Huh? What?
Serge: (points at ring out line)
Trunks: But, Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I tried fusioning with an ant yesterday, but I was too weak, and I dreamed that I fought in brutal hand-to-hand combat, mano e Puffo.
Serge: FUCK YOU TOO BITCH
Trunks: What did you say?
Serge: (gives Trunks the thumbs-down)
Trunks: Whaddya mean, "I lose!"?!
Michiru: Jigglypuff must have moved you out of the ring.
Jigglypuff:
Trunks: DIIIEEEEEEE! (charges Jigglypuff, who bravely hauls ass)
Announcer: ...okay, while we await word on what happens with those two, we need to once again replace the second judge.
(Somewhere.)
Sun: (still running and gasping for breath) YOOOOOOOOOOO! AUTHOR! I know you can hear me! I know you're out there! Soon the truth about you will be revealed! Soon people will know that you control their destinies! You may be able to fool them! BUT YOU WON'T BE IN CHARGE OF WHAT HAPPENDS TO MEEEEEEEE!!! (passes sign "1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles left you sack of shit") (eye twiches repetitively)
(backstage)
Trunks: You cheating basterd!
Jigglypuff: PUFF PUFF! JIG! [it's you fault you lazy bitch]
Trunks: (rases hand) wait... I have an idea (smiles evilly)
Jigglypuff: O.o
Trunks: (Runs into his dressing room) hehehe (gets into time machine and sets it for a few minuets ago)
(back in time)
Jigglypuff: (takes out microphone/marker) JigaLEEpuff, jigaleeePUFF...
Past Trunks: Hahahaha! You think a song's gon... (a large round object materializes in front of him)
Past Trunks: What the fuck!?
Future Trunks: (steps out of the time machine and grins at Jigglypuff)
Jigglypuff: JigaLEEpuff, jigal... (Future Trunks zooms out to Jigglypuff and flicks her out of the ring with his index finger)
Crowd: (stares)
Announcer: What just happened?
Future Trunks: Hehehe (gets back in time machine and de-materializes)
[Fight Four: Clefairy vs. Sailor Mercury: Cuteness]
Sunderland: ...Mary... could you really be in this stadium?
Michiru: She might be, dammit!
Sunderland: But, what if she isn't? I don't want to get drawn into some sort of Silent Hill 3 here.
Serge: (holds up a cattle prod and grins evilly)
Sunderland: You don't have the gAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Michiru: You were right, ghost boy. He IS brick stupid!
Serge:
James: Ouuuuuccchchhhh.... my groin.......
Announcer: Look, James, do us a favor. Hurry up and heal. We have recieved news that Sun escaped from his distracti... I mean... hospital van. We have to try and get this fanfi... er... battle royal finished withing a few more chapte... uhhhhhhh... hours.
(back in nowhere, a common place for Harry,...)
Sun: (crys) cooooooooooooooooooooome on... WAIT! I KNOW! The audence HAS to be starter than the author. They would never buy this crap without me!
Crowd: (cheers)
Sun:
Ami: Hello, Clefairy.
Clefairy: Clefairy! (plops up and down happily) [Wow! You're as cute as that brown-haired psycho said you were!]
Ami: How are you today?
Clefairy: Fair. Fairy faiiiiry. Clef. [So-and-so.]
Ami: How's the family? Have we found someone special?
Clefairy: Clefairy fairy cle. Cle. Fairy fairyclef cleff. [The Stay-Puft Corporation turned my brother into hot chocolate marshmallows three months ago. Thanks for opening old wounds.]
Michiru: Hey! Ami! Pinkpuff!
Ami: Yes?
Clefairy: Cle? [What?!]
Serge: (pulls his Spectra Swallow from Ryo's body, and strikes a pose)
James: Duh, what's going on? Where's Mary?
Ami: You want us to fight each other?
Clefairy: . faaaairy! [NEVER!]
Michiru: (gets up and pulls out two gloves) Look, you two. Listen up. Since you have been ordered to fight each other for the amusement of people who thirst for bloody deaths, and you obviously don't have this intelligence it takes to even through a punch, I'm giving you gloves with about 900 Gravitonne7 Elements laced into it. Basically, if you get hit with this glove, you won't die- you'll just be propelled in a backward direction at warp speed 1. K? K. (sits back in chair)
Ami: Did you make us these, Serge?
Serge:
Ami: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook...
Clefairy: (in a big and mean voice) CLEEEEEEEEEEFAIRY!
Ami: WHAT!? ME!? You little!
Michiru: What did it say?
James: Clefairy just called Ami a "BIG FAT BITCH."
Serge: (Tilts left eyebrow to Michiru)
Michiru: Serge wants to know how can you tell what it's saying?
James: Well, it's realy quite easy... Clefairy is basicly an idiot. And being an idiot myself, I can understand every word.
Michiru: Hahahaha! Do you even realize how much you just dissed yourself!? I would never stoop so low as to understand such nonsense languages!
Serge: (stares at her)
Michiru: Shut up Serge!
Clefairy: CLEFFFFFFFFFFFFuckyoulittlebitchAAAAAAAAIIIIIIRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!
Ami: (clenches teeth)
Anouncer: Hehehe... perfect, now my plan of world domination will be possible!!!
Crowd: ...
Anouncer: ... Uhhhhhh. I mean...
Crowd: ...
Anouncer: Let the match begin! (bell rings)
Crowd: (cheers)
Ami: (stares at Clefairy)
Clefairy: (stares at Ami)
(they keep this pose for about 2 hours)
Ami: (with bloodshot eyes) ... hi...
Clefairy: (still trying to think how to react) ... (lifts hand and scratches chin) o.O
Sounds: WHAM!
Clefairy: .............ccccccccCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee............ (flies past Pluto, then falls back to Earth)
Ami: (looks up) Oh, Clefairy's coming back. (jumps, and turns on visor) Let's see... I should hit it... right...
Clefairy: (Doppler effected screams) Clleeeeeeee!!!!!!!! [Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee fun.]
Ami: ...Here! (uppercuts Clefairy with right hand)
(a still cel of Earth.)
Sounds: WHAM!
Clefairy: ................cccccccccccccCCCCCLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!!!! (flies into the sun, roasting him, then falls back to Earth again.)
Serge: (bigsweats)
Clefairy: ......eeeeeeEEEEEEEEE! (smashes into the ground at breakneck speed, leaving a small star-shaped hole)
Ami: Clefairy? Are you all right?
Clefairy: Cleeee.... plop. ClllEEEEE.... PLOP. Cleeee.... (picks self out of hole)
Michiru: Geez! What's with all the ring outs?!
Sunderland: What's a ring? I gave one to Mary five years ago...
Serge: (waves the Spectra Swallow and the Mastermune in James's face)
Ami: Really? I won? All right! (jumps up, in a tit-jarring display of acrobatics)
Clefairy: Cle. [I lose. Time for a break.] (collapses backwards into hole) THUMP
STNADINGZ
WINNERS TOURNEY
Vegeta Vegeta
Cloud / COMMING SOON
Kirby Kirby /
Rei / COMING SOON
Trunks Trunks [hehehe] /
Jigglypuff / COMMING SOON /
Clefairy Ami /
Ami /
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LOSERS TOURNEY
Link
Cloud /
Sailor Mars /
Trunks /
Clefairy/