Remus' POV

I think Harry is starting to notice that something is wrong. I can't be sure, but the looks he gives me… I think he knows. I have to be more careful, I don't want to worry him.

I suspect that he realises that I have never recovered after Sirius' death, but I don't think he has guessed the whole truth. Hermione might have, she is perceptive. I doubt Ron even realises I am depressed, unless the others have told him.

I just want to return to my Mate. I have heard that you are reunited with everyone you love when you die… I cannot go on like this for much longer. I hope that James and Sirius and Lily understand.

But, wasn't it them who always told me not to try so hard? They said that sometimes you just have to let it go and that sometimes there is nothing more you can do.

I will cope for a while longer. For Harry's sake.

Third Person POV

"Guys?" Harry lay on his bed in Ron's room at the Burrow staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah?" Ron grunted from the floor where he was trying to figure out how to work Harry's Game Boy.

"I think something is wrong with Remus…" they had finally managed to break themselves of the habit of calling him Professor Lupin.

Hermione rolled her eyes,

"Well, obviously," she agreed. "He is in a deep state of mourning, anyone should be able to see that."

"He is?" Ron looked up, baffled.

"For Sirius?" Harry ignored his best friend.

Hermione nodded.

"Not to sound harsh," Ron raised his eyebrows, "but Sirius died, like, nearly four years ago. Shouldn't he be over it by now?"

Hermione jumped to her feet,

"You are just so insensitive!" she snapped and stormed out.

Ron turned to Harry for support,

"You agree with me, right? Remus should have moved on by now…"

Harry shrugged,

"Perhaps, but I am sure something is wrong."

Later

They came down for lunch a few hours later only to find that the subject of their earlier discussion had arrived.

Harry beamed,

"Remus! Why didn't you say you had arrived?"

Remus smiled pleasantly, though Harry fancied his eyes looked more tired than usual,

"I have only just arrived," Remus explained, "I though I would wait until lunch to say hi."

Harry grinned back,

"It's good to see you, Remus. We don't see as much of you now the Order has disbanded again…"

Remus nodded,

"I have been busy. Sorry about that."

Harry shook his head,

"That's ok, just don't disappear on me, ok?" he was grinning at the time, but his grin slipped a little when he saw Remus flinch. "Are you ok, Remus?" he asked.

Remus nodded slowly,

"I'm fine."

Later

After lunch the boys managed to convince Hermione to come and talk to them again.

"I'm really worried now," Harry admitted, "I think Remus is planning on slipping away."

Hermione nodded,

"He is depressed and he can't move on. Think about what has happened to him over his life, I won't bother listing it to you, he has every right to feel bad."

"Ok," Ron held up his hands, "Hermione, we fully admit that we really don't understand, and that you, as a girl with vastly superior intellect, are far more up to speed. Would you pretty please consider enlightening us humble mortals?"

Hermione blushed but nodded,

"Well, the way I see it Remus has never recovered from Sirius' death for a very simple reason. I think, and this is guess work, that Sirius was Remus' Mate."

The to boys just stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Err, Hermione," Ron glanced at Harry, "even we managed to figure out that they were friends…"

"No!" she rolled her eyes, "not as in mates. Sirius was Remus' Mate, as in canine life partner."

"As in kissing and sex?" Ron raised his eyebrows.

Harry snorted at Ron's bluntness.

"Yes," she agreed, rolling her eyes once more, "as in kissing and sex."

"That would explain it," Harry agreed. "Werewolves mate for life, so Remus wouldn't be able to move on."

Hermione smiled, pleased that Harry remembered something from school,

"I did some reading on the subject," she continued; "to see if there was anything I could do to help. All the references I found spoke of the werewolf left behind falling into a deep depression and normally dying themselves a few moons later. The only exception I could find was one female who survived her Mate by six years. It was suggested that this was because she had children to take care of… She put the need of her 'pack' before her need for her Mate."

"So Remus and Sirius are, err, were gay?" Ron was a little behind.

"So Remus is still alive because of me?" the others continued to ignore Ron.

"I think so," Hermione looked thoughtful. "To Moony you are the cub of a member of his pack, he will want to protect you."

"That would be why they shared a room…" Ron continued.

"But, that means if Moony decides I no longer need protecting…"

"That's right. If he thinks you are ok on your own he will follow his Mate into death."

"We share a room, Ron," Harry added absently.

"Oh, yeah…"

"Is there anyway we can help him?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head sadly. "A werewolf is devoted to their chosen Mate, short of bringing Sirius back from the dead…"

Remus' POV

They know.

As I was leaving the Burrow I noticed a change in how Harry hugged me goodbye. He looked suddenly sad and understanding. I managed a weak smile but had to leave. I couldn't stand to be around so many happy people anymore.

I returned to Grimmauld Place. I live there now. The Order agreed that nobody else would ever be using it, so I might as well.

I live alone, of course. Kreacher died not long after my Mate. An unfortunate accident where I forgot to take my wolfsbane… Forgive me, I was in a very bad way at the time.

Now I lie on our bed, well, my bed now that my Mate is gone. I spend a lot of time just laying down flicking through old photo albums of us back at school. I find it strangely comforting to look at the smiling faces of my pack.

It helps me to remember it was not all a dream.

Perhaps it would be better if it had been. If it was only a dream I could return to them every night, and move on during the day. As it is… well, I mourn them, every second of every day. At night... at night I see the veil...

Not for much longer.

I never told Harry that I wouldn't just leave. The fact he doesn't want me to is nothing to me anymore.

I have had enough of this world. The world is nothing to me without my pack.

Author notes:

Thanks to my reviewers, i didn't expect feedback so quickly. Don't worry, Harry will be trying to help Remus.

P.S If anybody notices any typos or general errors please tell me so I can correct them. Thanks, :)