Blood. Cascading down my arms, past my wrists, over my hands. Dripping… Dripping… Dripping… from my fingers, joining with the dark red pool around me. I stared blankly as I lay on the floor. Wishing I had the strength to move, and pick up the razor which was perched on the edge of the bathtub, the strength to let the blades cut deep into my flesh. Let the pain and the raw emotion flow from my wounds. But I didn't have the strength then, and I still don't. So there I lay, on the cool chipped ceramic tiles of my bathroom floor. Imagining myself drowning in a pool of my own blood.
'Life sucks' I found myself thinking wearily. Drawing in a deep breath and rolling onto my back, sprawling out on the floor spreading eagle style. 'Life really sucks.'
It started out as every other day. I woke up late, tried to make myself look partially presentable while trying to figure out how much time I had left before I had to catch the buss. I'd sat with my best friend (who wasn't a friend at all, really) on the ride to Logan Reid High. I got there. Went to class. Spent over 3 hours in front of a computer during my time at school. Rode the bus home. Went online. Watched T.V. Talked on the phone a little. My normal, everyday routine. Routine. 'I hate routine.' I muttered absentmindedly. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe that's why I was so sullen, lacking of energy, thought, and all emotion. Except frustration… But I was still debating weather that could be considered an emotion, or if it was just a result of confusion. But that brought up another question. Was I confused? No. I saw the world with perfect clarity. That my friend was the true problem. I saw what other's did not. I saw the truth that no one else was willing to see.
I rolled over again, onto my stomach, pressing my cheek against the floors cool surface. I wanted to fall asleep. Just to fall away from reality. Everything was so dull, darkened by pollution. Filled with so many useless things that everyone seemed to care so much about. I shook my head as best I could from my position on the floor, then closed my eyes.
I'd gone home from school. Did whatever to entertain myself for a few hours. Then I found myself getting a shower. Leaving the water on as I crawled out of the tub and onto the floor. I'd been there for some time. The water had gone cold about 15 minutes ago. I could feel the cold mist drifting about the room. I reminded myself that I'd have to get up eventually. Life would be moving on, with or without me. Opening my eyes again, I began to getup, hoisting myself up using the edge of the tub and the edge of the sink.
"SHI-" I could feel myself fall, feet slipping on the water that had accumulated on the floor. I tried to brace myself with my hands while falling over the side of the tub, one arm grabbing wildly for anything, I felt my hand wrap around a towel that had been hanging on the wall. Then I heard a crack. I lay still, underneath the cold stream of water raining down from the shower. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. All I could do was lay there, clutching the white towel and gazing at the red tainted water, streaming down the bathtub, slowly disappearing down the drain. My head hurt. 'Close your eyes.' I whispered silently. Letting my lids meet. 'Fall away…'
-- Sorry there wasn't anything Escaish here. I'll have the first chapter up soon, you'll start seeing more esca-related things there. I'll update as soon as I can! And if ya'll are interested, the Character in the Prologue is my original character, Her name's Mya… Just in case anyone is curious. But that's all clarified in Chapter 1 anyway, which I haven't posted as of yet. So I thought I'd be nice and let you know ^.^ --
Phnx