Disclaimer: Um…. Yeah
Balls, manhood, and maturity…
Alex woke up with a sight stinging in his head. His mind struggled to come up with what had happened, or a reasonable justification to why it wasn't real. For some reason… it was blank. The only thing processing right now was his stomach reminding him that he was hungry. With a groan he opened his eyes to meet with the room of Urd.
He realized that Urd's bed was actually really comfortable. Looking around he spotted Urd sitting on the side of the bed with her eyes closed, headphones in, listening to… something. He groaned again as he stretched out kinks from his girl body and proceeded to crawl over to where Urd was sitting. With a gentle tap he got Urd's attention.
"Hey." She said as she pulled the headphones out of her ears. She stood up and put down a green and white CD player. With a sigh she turned back to him.
"You've been out for about an hour. The party's been going for thirty minutes and the cops called saying that they arrested Otaka and the infamous sidekick.(1) So, what I want to know is how on earth you changed from a guy to a girl, and then back again." She said as she sat down again. Alex crawled off the bed and started pacing. Visions of last night flew back to her hazily and where impossible to make out, all she got was that se had gotten drunk, went streaking, got chased by a cat, and fell asleep in a tree. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.
"Well, was there any spell that you picked up, any potion you drank, or any person you know that could change you back into a guy?" she asked as she looked at the TV that was now off.
"No…" Alex said shrugging. Finally he sighed and got off the bed again.
"Fine… here," Urd said handing him the vanilla envelope of so negligently discarded, "eat something, then read that." Urd said as she pushed Alex out of the room and into the hallway. With a click the door closed behind her. She looked at himself and realized she was still in a towel. With a quick muttering of a spell he put on baggy jeans and a tank top.
"Life seems to hate me." He said as he walked towards the kitchen.
Alex poured milk into his bowl of coco puffs. It seemed to make his day better to eat one of his favorite cereals. The kitchen was empty; save for the Santa Claus cookie jar that seemed to be giving it dirty looks. He stuck his tongue out at the renegade cookie cup and took a bite into his food. The envelope sat in front of him almost calling. With a sigh he picked it up and read:
A.L.S
NAME: ASUKA LANGLY SORU.
OCCUPATION: Eva pilot and guardian of sector 89003265, Along with fellow teammates Ikari, Shinji and Ayanami, Rei.
AGE: INCONSEQUENTIALDAY: MONDAY
TIME: 12:30 PM.
PLACE: KATSURAGI HOUSEHOLD
The following has been granted the opportunity for a wish granting. You have been chosen to do the duty. You are responsible to be at the appointed time for the granting. Absence from the following task will be marked in a permanent record and a class demotion will be at hand. The wisher is under no circumstances able to remember the wish, as a test for you memory capabilities. So it is written.
DAD'Great… now I have to give a wish to some corny little crybaby…" the name finally made sense. 'Nah, it couldn't be.' He looked at the document again. Sure enough the name, occupation, and place looked accurate. 'It must be… but isn't that an anime?' She thought as the day seemed to be almost worse.
"What'cha looking at." Tsutoku said as she sat down next to Alex. Alex quickly shoved the paper in her pocket and sighed.
"N-nothing," she got out as she started to eat her cereal at an ungodly speed.
"Right… anyway, I've got afternoon classes on Sunday, which is today, that start in an hour. If Keiichi and Belldandy come back tell them that I went to class early today to get some extra work." Alex just nodded. He was too caught up in the short blue skirt and button up white blouse she was wearing. He shook his head of the usual guy thoughts and unwrapped his hair. It fell loosely to his shoulders and she decided not to put it in a ponytail. She stretched and headed towards the Skuld's room passing by the party that seemed to never want to end.
Skuld's room was a technical archive. Robots, machinery, schematics, weapons, and random improved household appliances lay everywhere. It seemed that everywhere you looked was some new mechanical masterpiece. Off in the corner of the room sat Skuld on some high tech computer.
Large canisters of coolant where connected to a multi-structured monster of a computer. It seemed to mesmerize you with screens that showed CPU usage, computer temperature, network connection, and thousands of other things. Skuld sat there watching a holographic screen. Alex watched Skulds nimble fingers work on the keyboard faster than some anime chicks she had seen.
"Skuld?" Alex said breaking Skuld's concentration.
"Yes…" Skuld answered back highly irritated.
"I was wondering, anime… is it… real?" he asked feeling stupid. He failed to notice a light shimmer in his triforce symbol on his head.
"Well, it depends on your concept of real." She said turning around to face him. He also missed the glazed expression skuld had.
"Anime, cartoon, books, and Fanfiction are all real on the living level. The characters portrayed are all living and acting the way they are put. But it's when you come to the task of them living in the same world as you then no, they are not real. Anime and such are only stories until you reach past the structural boundaries of your universe and enter theirs. You see, anime and stories come to people in ideas and images as the line between universes becomes thin. Then as it thickens things called writers' blocks and such are said to happen until it thins again. The line is constantly thinning and thickening but a person's connection with the universe depends on the person. Imagination is one way to reach through the line of separation. The grater the imagination, the grater the connection with the universes. Finally, when I say that stories are in a separate universe, I don't mean only one. For every story, idea, and image anyone has ever thought of there is a different universe for. That is the same for the sorties that are about the same thing, there is a deferent universe for each." She looked at him to see if he was catching on. He nodded and signaled her to continue.
"Sometimes universes connect and leave… attributes of one another in each other. This brings upon a mixture of new powers and sometimes even species." He nodded again catching on.
"In each universe there is a main universe called the focal universe. As people tap into this universe more universes called breaks appear, these breaks lead to alternate universes, and judging by the envelope in you hand, you have been chosen to give a wish in one of these focal universes. When we give a wish to someone in a universe we manually create a break. That is what a wish really is. It is when the ultimate force creates a break specifically designed to support the person's wish. But over the years so many breaks have occurred that the ultimate force can find a break suitable to put the wisher in without creating another break. This had led to many stories where you find many characters from other stories in one universe. No longer is one to have their one specified universe to their own will. This has led to the down climb of the Norns responsibilities, who were originally created to hook up the universes' pasts, presents, and futures into a somewhat logical scale to where they could be able to intertwine with one another. Now that most of the wishers are able to be placed within another pre-twined break the norns have been allowed to finally leave the tree of yggdacil and have minds, spirits, and bodies of their own." Alex nodded to the information that he didn't really need to know about.
"So… how do I get to the focal universe?" he asked trying to figure out how the hell he was supposed to make it to the world of Evangelion.
"Well when a wish giver is chosen for dimensional wish giving, a certain almost translucent line leads them to the correct place during a transportation. It is unlike a normal transportation, the wish giver feels compelled to head in a certain direction. " She finished and nodded.
"I see… thank you." He said as he walked out of Skuld's room. Skuld eyes unglazed as the door clicked shut. She looked around her room looking for the person who called her name.
"Hello, did someone call my name?" she said out load. Receiving no answer she turned back to the computer and continued on research Urd had given her.
Alex walked around the park; he had a couple hours before he was due for his first assignment. He spent the entirety of the day here looking at people walk by and seeing how much fun they had. It made him remember the all he times he spent with his friends from Michigan. They all seemed to be able to get into trouble one way or another. He remembered a particular incident were mike of all people had hacked into the mainframe computer and planted a virus that, after logging in, would make everything seem normal until they put in the grades. The grades automatically said 100 no matter what they did. Most of the teachers didn't notice the change for the entire first semester. He and everyone else in the class had passed with flying colors with absolutely no effort.
He also remembered the time when mike and a Friend named Chris (not me) had gotten drunk at a bar and went out to "play". In the morning countless vandalism calls where made to the police and Chris woke up on something soft.
Chris was a tall dirty blond kid. He had serious muscle that was usualy hidden in a long trench coat that he wore. His hair was lengthy but not the longest it had ever been since it was only to his mid neck all around save for the hair that was in long bangs on his forehead. His head screamed with the pain of a hangover. He found himself under some blankets… naked…
He went on alert as he strained to remember what had happened last night. All he could remember was several flashes of destroyed cars, broken windows, home made bombs, fights, and fireworks. He sighed as he remembered nothing sexual. He felt a huge pain in his arm and found it bandaged. He took it off slowly and found a stab wound, probably from some soft of switchblade. He wrapped it again as looked around his room.
It wasn't his room…
His room wasn't pink…
His bed wasn't large…
And he didn't ware bras….
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Mike woke up warm. He knew he had scored. Everything about the room told him so. Maybe it was a green room where his was white, or the teddy bears.
He turned around and looked at his treasure from last night…
He puked on sight of the 80 year old man….
Alex laughed out loud as he remembered it. Chris had fallen asleep with the principal's daughter Aleah. They had a strong relationship after that and are still seeing each other three years later at twenty-one. As for mike… well let's say that after a LONG shower and months of a phobia of old people, he learned that he had indeed scored. The old man was the grandpa of a very pretty Jessica, who had paid him to lay in the bed until mike woke up. He had scored with Jessica but had ran off to quick to hear the reasoning the old man tried to say to the puke covered boy as he ran out of the house bare naked through the streets.
Jessica and mike where more than a couple now, they had been engaged for about three months after being together for nearly as long as Chris. Nether seemed the mind the fact they had both barely turned twenty and were going to the same collage, they just rescheduled their classes to be together.
Alex sighed as he remembered that he was the youngest of his group of friends, at age eighteen he had started his first year of collage when… well you know he rest. He was startled by the beeping of his watch. He looked at it, 12:20. With an almost excited sigh he walked up to one of the streetlamps that lit up the night, another sigh and he vanished into his own shadow.
Asuka walked down the hall into the kitchen. Something wouldn't let her sleep. She looked around and spotted something flashing. She walked over to it and found that it was only the light from the answering machine. She cursed Misato about laziness as she pushed the button.
"Coming…" was all that was said as Asuka now cursed whoever had left that message as obviously a joke.
"Sorry I'm late." A voice said behind her. Asuka looked and saw a woman in a N.E.R.V jacket, black shirt, and baggy jeans. She had lengthy hair that was loose and she stood there almost lazily.
"If it's about Shinji then he's back there," she said uninterested and walked to the refrigerator.
"No, actually it's about you Asuka." He said trying hard not to stare at one of his favorite anime characters.
"Really, we'll if it's about me beating up the baka then it's not my fault. He's always so whiny and pathetic I can't help it but feel angry, sometimes I wish he acted like more of a man with balls." As soon as the words left her mouth there was a shining light the seemed to come out of her guest's head as little things started to fly everywhere. Asuka grabbed for a knife thinking it was an angel. She thrust the knife forward only to have it stop in mid air.
"A.T field?" Asuka cried out but the invisible wall didn't consist of the normal hexagons, instead it was like a semi-blue transparent wall that wouldn't budge. Electricity sparked off where the blade was coming in contact with the wall and Asuka dropped it as it melted before her eyes.
"Wish accepted." Alex said as he shook his head clear of the ringing.
"Whish… what wish?" she cried out in anger as she threatened the man turned girl with another knife.
"Yeah wish, I was going to tell you about it but you went off and blurted out a wish… to late now." He said with a shrug as he prepared to disappear back to his own world.
"Ah wait," he said as he stopped and walked up to her. He placed his right hand on her forehead.
"Get your hands off me you bi-sexual HENTAI!" she screamed as she punched at the strange woman's face. The punch fell short as Asuka collapsed into unconsciousness.
"Sorry, but your not allowed to remember this." He said as he caught Asuka as she started to fall. He lifter her into his arms not surprised at how light she was. With a few quick steps he was at her room door. He willed it to open and walked to her bed. He placed her in it gently, careful not to touch inappropriately. He covered her body with her blanket up to her chin.
"G'night." He said and literally disappeared into the shadows.
Asuka woke up from the strangest dream; she tried to grasp it in her memory but failed. What she did know was that she was hungry, really hungry. She got out of bed and looked around. She was still in her nightclothes from last night; she would have to change that. With a quick search she found the school uniform she was going to ware. Afterwards she walked out of her room and marched to Shinji's.
beginning of log
" WAKE UP!!!!"
A loud banging sound awoke Shinji from a pretty good dream consisting of him and Asuka on a deserted island with no clothes on. As Shinji's mind became more aware of his surroundings, he heard the banging stop and start again only this time much harder. He opened his eyes, which were greeted by the ceiling.
" Familiar ceiling."
" WAKE UP!!!" followed by more banging greeted him yet again.
' Asuka,' he thought as he got up and threw open the door only to be kicked in a place where it would really really hurt if you were a guy.
There they stood as of they were in suspended animation, Asuka with her risen leg, foot connecting to the groin of Shinji Ikari who had a neutral expression on his face. She looked at him strangely as she slowly lowered her leg. Shinji still stood with the same look as he lifted his hand, gripped the door, and slid it shut. Asuka blinked at the scene.
' You'd think he scream or something after getting hit there,' she thought with a perplexed look on her face.
The city was quiet and silent, the streets were deserted and the sweet chirping of birds was the only sound anyone can hear. Then a scream broke that very silence, one of pure and unimaginable pain. It lasted a good 30 seconds before it died down. There in his room, the mighty Third Child, laid on the ground in a fetal position on the verge of crying while holding what was left of his manhood and two buddies.
" W... hy.... m...e...?"
**********************************************
Misato came out of her room after the scream heard around the world.
"Asuka, what the hell was that?!" she shouted at the girl still looking at the door that led to Shinji's room, "ASUKA!!!"
" I kicked Shinji" was not the answer she was expecting.
" Why did you kick him... where?"
" There..."
Misato stood there not knowing what she meant by that but a moment later realization dawned at her as she mentally cringed.
" There?!"
"There..."
Misato left the girl, went into the kitchen and took out an icepack from the refrigerator. She walked back to Asuka, picked up both her hand and planted an icepack on them..
" Go in there and apologize."
" Why should I?! He opened the door while I was kicking it! I was trying to wake up the baka" Asuka retorted.
" Thats exactly why you should apologize. God Asuka, Shinji could be a girl now"
" I heard that!" was the muffled high-pitched voice of the boy inside the room.
**********************************************
Nothing interesting happened during breakfast other then the two roommates watching Shinji make breakfast walking like a cowboy that has been on a horse for a long time. Misato sipping on the beer she held and Asuka nibbling on her piece of toast watching Shinji with a pained expression on his face walking back and forth from the counter and table. Taking big and wide steps so that his pants wouldn't chafe his injury. To everyone's surprise Shinji glared at Asuka as he left his room to go to the bathroom to sit in cold water. When that was done, he came out and glared at her again. Now Shinji sat finally after making and putting everything on the table.
" Does it still hurt?" Misato asked masking the grin behind the beer can.
He sighed, " Not really anymore."
" Baka, consider yourself lucky that I don't do that again after you glared at me"
" Shut up, you temperamental bitch"
Misato spewed her beer out as Asuka's mouth hanged open, dropping the toast she was just eating.
" WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" she screamed, her face matching her red hair.
Misato, too dumbstruck, just stared at Shinji. Sure she was happy to see that he stood up for himself but him and cursing wasn't a combination you think would exist.
Asuka herself was hurt and angry, hurt because she felt guilty for what she did to him and for him calling her a temperamental bitch. Angry because well... its Asuka.
"You heard me!", Shinji stood up and slammed his palms into the table, shaking all the plates. This action surprised Asuka so much she fell back into her seat and sat staring at the glaring, angry face of Shinji Ikari.
"What the hell! I wanted to sleep a little more and what do I hear but her royal highness, pain in my ass slam her fist on my door at 6 freaking 30 in the morning. For what huh? TO GET MY BALLS SHOVED INTO MY BODY AND POP OUT OF MY ASS!!!!" Shinji stood, hands clenching and relaxing, the look he had when he was fighting Zeruel on his face, and something that looked like foam coming out of the side of his mouth. Silence had taken over the whole apartment, the complex in fact because neighbors were afraid if they made a sound the person would start to attack or something. Two women stared at the crazed looked child. Were they afraid? Would you be afraid if he snapped like that in front of you? .... I thought so. Shinji sat down and calmly grabbed a piece of toast and started eating. Asuka and Misato looked like stone statues as the young Ikari ate his breakfast.
**********************************************
" He flipped out on me!" Asuka recounting the events of the morning to Hikari.
" I dunno, Asuka, he seems normal and you did hit him there" casting a glance at the sitting boy typing on his laptop.
" I swear I never saw him like that, I couldn't move. I thought he'd kill me or something" Asuka said with frightful eyes glancing at the sitting nuclear bomb.
" Asuka, Shinji wouldn't do that to you," the look Hikari got from Asuka thought otherwise.
The sensei chose to enter the class as the bell rang. All the students took their seats as the class rep did the regular "stand, bow, sit" routine as the sensei began the 7 hour snooze fest about the second impact.
Toji and Kensuke started a chat room with the laptops and invited Shinji into it.
**********************************************
You have just entered room "ZZZZZZZZ"
StUdBoY: hey shinji
nobody3: hey
The truth is out there: hey shinji, whats with asuka?
StUdBoY: yea she hasnt called us stooges or anything
nobody3: beats me i could careless
The truth is out there: woah shinji ikari not caring about asuka
StUdBoY: newlyweds have a fight????????????
nobody3: she kicked me in the balls
The truth is out there: ...
StUdBoY: ...
nobody3: yes i know
The truth is out there: OMG
The truth is out there: WTF
nobody3: yes i know
StUdBoY: jeez are you ok, i mean she knows like karate and stuff
nobody3: i wont be having kids anytime soon...
StUdBoY: ouch
The truth is out there: ouch
nobody3 has left the room
**********************************************
Shinji watched the annoying "you have been signed off" pop up on his screen. He typed his screen name and password and waited to be connected. Once connected he immediately got a chat room invitation. He clicked it and entered.
**********************************************
You have just entered room "ZZZZZZZZ"
nobody3: damn computer
StUdBoY: haha
The truth is out there: heh technology is a beaut, speaking of which hikari is look at you toji
StUdBoY: OMG
StUdBoY: IS SHE?!! DO I LOOK OK?!!!
The truth is out there: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
StUdBoY: KENSUKE YOU BASTARD!!!
nobody3: hehehehehe toji LOVES someone
StUdBoY: IKARI YOU TOO!!!!
The truth is out there: toji and hikari
nobody3: sitting in a tree
The truth is out there: K
nobody3: I
The truth is out there: S
nobody3: S
The truth is out there: I
nobody3: N
The truth is out there: G
StUdBoY: F U ALL!!!!
classrepgirl has entered the room.
nobody3: hi hikari
classrepgirl: hi shinji whats up?
nobody3: bored bored and bored
classrepgirl: hee hee
The truth is out there: how can you sit in the front and look like your interested?
classrepgirl: years of practice
nobody3: ahhhhhhhh
The truth is out there: ahhhhhhh
nobody3 has left the room.
StUdBoY: there goes shinji again
classrepgirl: Hi Toji ^_^
StUdBoY: hhhhyyeee
The truth is out there: haha
nobody3 has entered the room.
nobody3: hate cpu
classrepgirl: hee hee
StUdBoY: hahahaha
The truth is out there: you could always step on it with your Eva
nobody3: i might consider it
classrepgirl: is it ok to invite asuka in here?
StUdBoY: seru
StUdBoY: srue*
StUdBoY: sure*
The truth is out there: haha i dont care
nobody3: NO
classrepgirl: why not?
nobody3: i have my reasons
The truth is out there: she kicked him in the nuts
classrepgirl: ouch, ive heard the story from asuka
classrepgirl: did you really snap at asuka
StUdBoY: YOU TALKED BACK TO THE DEVIL
The truth is out there: AND LIVED!!!!???????
nobody3: um... yea... i guess.....
StUdBoY: .... YOU ARE OUR HERO
The truth is out there: HAIL LORD SHINJI DEFEATER OF THE DEMON
nobody3: sigh
classrepgirl: i invited her
ReDbAbE2 has entered the room.
nobody3: why did you have to do that?!
nobody3: .... asuka....
ReDbAbE2: why did you invite me to the den of losers hikari?
nobody3: leave then
ReDbAbE2: oooo hooo looks like wussy boy has a spine
nobody3: still a bitch i see
The truth is out there: wow
StUdBoY: ooooooooooooo
classrepgirl: O.O
ReDbAbE2: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME
nobody3: a bitch
nobody3: would you like me to go into depth with the meaning
ReDbAbE2: GRRRRR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
nobody3: WHATS WRONG WITH ME! YOU ALMOST TURNED ME INTO A DAMN GIRL!
ReDbAbE2: YOU ACT LIKE A GIRL SO I WAS JUST FINISHING THE JOB
nobody3: i bet id be a better girl then you anyway
The truth is out there: ooooooooo
ReDbAbE2: WHAT?!
ReDbAbE2: SHUT UP KENSUKE!
nobody3: DONT TELL HIM TO SHUT UP
nobody3: YOU SHUT UP
nobody3: GOD BITCH BITCH BITCH IS THAT ALL YOUR GOOD FOR!!
ReDbAbE2: FUCK OFF SHINJI WHAT THE HELL
nobody3: no
nobody3: you cant tell me what to do anymore
nobody3: besides reis a better friend then you
ReDbAbE2 has left the room.
**********************************************
The sound of a fist connecting to a keyboard was heard throughout the classroom. Asuka let out a staggered breath and calmed down.
" Ms. Soryu, what may ask is wrong that you disturb the class just like you did?" asked the sensei, raising a questioning eyebrow.
" I'm sorry" she says meekly and sat down. The students were staring at her with a look of shock as she apologized. Everyone was looking but one person who was twirling a pencil around and looking out the window with a bored expression on his face.
**********************************************
classrepgirl: OMG SHINJI LOOK WHAT YOU DID
classrepgirl: YOU HURT HER FEELINGS
StUdBoY: holy crap dude when did you get this new attitude from man
The truth is out there: yea seriously you usually just take what she dishes out
nobody3: im sick of her crap
nobody3: today was the last straw
nobody3: im not putting up with her anymore i dont have the strength nor the patience
nobody3: let her rot in hell for all i care
classrepgirl: SHINJI IKARI I CANT BELIEVE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SAID THAT
nobody3: would you be acting differently if you were in my shoes?
classrepgirl: ...
StUdBoY: wow shinji
The truth is out there: yea no kidding, i never heard you say that about anyone
nobody3: people change
classrepgirl: i have to go bye
classrepgirl has left the room
The truth is out there: thar she goes
The truth is out there: im out too its almost lunch anyway
The truth is out there has left the room.
StUdBoY: shinji what the hell happened, how can you change like that, didnt you have a crush on her?
nobody3: not anymore
nobody3: im out too later
nobody3 has left the room.
classrepgirl has entered the room.
classrepgirl: where is everyone
StUdBoY: left
classrepgirl: oh... its just you and me then ^_^
StUdBoY: em hvea to og talk to ouy ater
StUdBoY has left the room.
classrepgirl: sigh
classrepgirl left the room.
**********************************************
The bell rang as Asuka bolted out the classroom like a bat out of hell. Hikari followed her after casting a glance to an impassive looking Shinji. He stood after a few seconds, stretched and turned to Toji and Kensuke.
" Ready to get some lunch?" he said with a smile on his face. Both boys looked at him followed as he started to left the room.
**********************************************
Asuka stood in front of the girls bathroom mirror, she inhaled and exhaled loudly to calm herself down. Hikari was behind her with a look of symphony on her face.
" What the hell? Why is Shinji being so mean to me? What did I do to him?!"
" ... well you did kick him..." Hikari spoke softly.
" I know", Asuka sighed," but him acting like that. I never knew he even possessed something like that."
" I don't know, Asuka, I don't know."
**********************************************
Lunch seemed to have passed and gone as the students entered the class minus one red head. Toji looked at the empty seat then looked at Hikari for answers. She seemed to say with her face "your asking the wrong person", he then turned to Kensuke who too was looking at the seat and looked at Toji with a face that said "what?" Toji sighed; 'dense' he thought when he looked at Kensuke's still confused face. Shinji entered the room with stares from the class drawn to him. Was he limping or something? Shinji sighed and sat down with a painful expression that passed as quickly as it got there. Asuka then entered the room and everyone was silent. She walked up to Shinji's desk and stood there. The boy didn't acknowledge the presence of Asuka, as he looked the other direction and scratching his upper ear with his finger.
" Shinji..." she said it so softly and with uncertainity.
Shinji turned his head to her and looked into her eyes. Asuka met the expressionless eyes and what seemed to look like a frown on his face.
' Jeez... he is mad at me....' she thought looking at him.
" What is it?" he asked monotone.
" I'm sorry..."
This Shinji didn't expect, hell he'd expect more if molten lava started to burst out of the ground and Satin himself rising from it with a pink tutu on. Asuka had apologized to him.
**********************************************
A small chuckle was heard then a full-blown laugh. Asuka looked at him like he was a madman. There in his seat, sat Shinji, holding his stomach and looking like he's seconds away from crying and crapping his pants.
" Shinji's snapped."
" He's definitely getting it now, look how red Asuka is."
" He was a brave man."
" He fell off his chair"
" Holy shit."
All the students turned to the first pilot, Rei Ayanami, all stared in shock at her shocked face.
" .... what?"
A collective "nothing" was all she heard.
" Where the hell did she come from" asked one of the students.
She was met with multiple shrugs just as the sensei walked into the room. He stood looking at Shinji who seemed to be sounding like he's dieing and Asuka who was twitching all over and the color of the sun. He turned around and walked out of the room. The students could of sworn that he said "should lay off the drinking" as he left.
**********************************************
" HE LAUGHED AT ME, MISATO!!!"
" I know, Asuka"
" SO WHY ARE YOU BLAMING THIS ON ME"
" He almost got lung failure because of your apology" Misato said as she looked through the window into the hospital room where Shinji Ikari laid with a face splitting smile on his face.
" HAHAHAHAHAHA NUTS FIND WAY TO HEART BUT ACORNS ARE IN MY BUTT HAHAHAHA"
" You made him nuts too...."
**********************************************
Shinji snapped out of his daydream as he stared at what looked like an irritated Asuka. '... what the hell was that about?' he thought to himself as Asuka was waiting for an answer for her apology.
" Huh..." asked Shinji with a dense look.
" I SAID I'M SORRY WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE IT DOWN AND DOCUMENT IT!!" snapped Asuka.
" ... oh its ok..." Asuka's mouth was left open, Toji fell out of his chair, Hikari looked at Shinji like he had two heads, Kensuke was looking out the window for the flying pig, and the rest of the class face faulted into the floor.
Asuka didn't say anything as she walked back to her seat and plopped down. The sensei entered the room and looked at the students staring at him with amazed faces. The sensei glanced down to his fly to see if it was open... no... he looked back up and shrugged it off as he sat and began "Boredom Plan 2 C3", I mean more about the Second Impact.
**********************************************
Asuka sat pondering what was wrong with Shinji, first he was a warrior who wouldn't take any crap from anyone and then later he forgives her like it was nothing.
"What the hell?" she mumbled to herself.
She then glanced at the blue haired girl that was sitting in the same seat as her only two rows to the left. 'Well she has to know something... I guess'
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Rei has been sitting throughout the day in the same chair, never moving. She wasn't enjoying sitting there and doing nothing. Rei let out a sigh as she opened her laptop and started to type her notes on the lecture. In reality she was surfing the net looking for something to do. If given the chance, Rei can be a pretty normal girl. Sure she was the clone of Shinji's long dead mom and also the third one from the series of who knows how many that got destroyed awhile back. With no angels left to fight and with no true purpose to be achieved, she decided it was time to see what she actually was. She opened herself up little by little but who noticed. Shinji did however. She let out a louder sigh and started to click on random things out of boredom. Nope, Rei isn't an emotionless doll anymore, she was a normal girl trying to learn about herself and about what she can do. Who would of thought that the blue haired, red eyed, pale beauty was like that, huh? Rei was startled by a incoming message from her instant messenger.
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blue: Yes?
ReDbAbE2: ... you seriously need a new screen name, wondergirl
blue: I am aware, Pilot Soryu.
ReDbAbE2: sigh, anyway do you happen to know what is wrong with shinji
blue: I am not aware of anything that may be wrong with him.
blue: Are you worried about his well being?
ReDbAbE2: NO, i could care less. but you saw how hes acted
blue: He seemed to have forgiven you for something.
ReDbAbE2: BUT I KICKED HIM THERE
blue: Where?
ReDbAbE2: god wondergirl there as in THERE
blue: Ohhhhhh
blue: Then you wonder why Pilot Ikari acting the way he did. He must of let some of his anger out, forgave and forget it.
ReDbAbE2: i guess
ReDbAbE2: thanks wondergirl but dont expect to hear that from me again
blue: I dont expect anything, Pilot Soryu
**********************************************
Asuka shivered, no matter what Rei always had that affect on her and everyone else.
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MONDAY AFTERNOON
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Misato sat in her chair staring into the monitor of the computer, which she had been staring at since this morning. She had to reports and progresses of the children. For hours now Misato tried her best to explain what happened that morning but all she had was.
At about 7 o'clock in the morning, first pilot Shinji Ikari snapped at Asuka Langley Soryu...
That was all that was on the screen.
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Back at home, Shinji sat on the couch watching TV. The day had been really hard on him and all he wanted was some peace and quiet and the icepack on his nuts to not melt. Pen Pen sat next to him mimicking the exact slouching position Shinji was in minus the icepack, that was replaced by a beer can. Both sighed as Shinji flips through the channels in search of anything remotely entertaining.
" Um... Shinji" he looks up to see Asuka looking down on the floor.
' You'd think after all she's done she would stop starting at her handiwork,' he thought.
" Yes," he asked looking back at the TV.
" What's wrong with you today?" 'Can she be any more dense?'
" Do you expect me to river dance after the way you hit me today?"
" No..."
" Asuka, I'm sorry I snapped at you and called you those things", he said looking up at her face, " I didn't mean them, I was angry."
" Okay then your forgiven, Third Child" she said with her regular "I'm queen of the world" attitude back in place.
Shinji sighed and so did Pen Pen. Asuka walked over his stretched out legs and sat in the armchair on the side of the couch. She looked on with a smile as he went on to scratch his ear and Pen Pen mimicked him exactly. What Asuka really didn't want to see was when Shinji lifted the icepack and scratched and put it back in. Pen Pen on the other hand lifted the beer can, scratched and put it back in place. They both sighed and looked mindlessly at the TV.
' Men...'
" I'm home," came suddenly into the apartment.
" Misato's home," Asuka got up and greet her, not only to do that but also to talk about Shinji. All she got was a human grunt and a penguin grunt.
Asuka walked up the hallway, grabbed Misato's hand, which nearly tripped her as she was taking off her shoes and dragged her to the kitchen.
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" He forgave you?"
" Yeah, all the sudden I go up to him and apologize and he spaced out for a second then he said 'it was ok', " Asuka said looking into the living room.
" Well at least we have the old Shinji back", Misato said downing her first beer, " and after today, holy crap, I couldn't work at all today. I mean come on our little shy Shinji blew up."
" I know, I don't understand it my..." Pen Pen interrupted her by warking to his master. He walked up to the refrigerator and took out a can of beer and a soda, then walked back to the living room.
Both stared at the penguin until they heard a "Thank you, Pen" from Shinji and a wark of acknowledgment from Pen Pen.
" Those two are getting along these days" Asuka said looking at the back of Shinji's head and seeing Pen Pen plop down beside him.
" I'll say"
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MONDAY EVENING
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It was dinnertime; Shinji sat down after finally preparing everything. The two roommates looked at him and he looked back the both of them.
" What?"
" Nothing" they said at the same time. Shrugging it off, Shinji dove into his meal.
" You seem to have quite an appetite these days too" Misato said
" Yeah, I can't help it. I'm always hungry now."
It was then that it hit Misato like a ton of bricks. She had read about this kind of thing happening to men; the hunger, Shinji has also grown an inch in like a month and his voice seemed hoarse and getting deeper. He was going through puberty. No wait that's not it, that would mean he would of been like this for a while now. He can go thorough it in one day. Or maybe he can?
" WHAT?!"
" NOTHING!!"
(Log end)
Alex looked at the giant screen that was sitting in front of him. He was in heaven at his old workstation making sure the wish went through without a hitch. He sighed and looked at the clock: 12:30. Looking back at the screen he saw the last occupant of the Katsuragi household fall asleep. It was strange to see some one who you thought a fictional character fall asleep right before you eyes. Even stranger was the fact that he watched the outcome of a wish happen… it seemed almost… unnatural.
He yawned and shut off the screen with a click, the screen faded away like most of the holographic screens used in heaven today.
To say the least, he was surprised at the outcome for the wish… yet as he really thought about it he couldn't really have said it was impossible… after all with a simple wish for a better life, he had turned into a woman… maybe that was a sign… nah…
1.) If anyone know what that guy's freakin' name is please tell me… it gets annoying to have to say "the infamous sidekick" all the time.
If anyone found that the last couple parts of the Evangelion parts seemed rather… familiar… well they are from another story posted on ff.net.
That story happens to be "Shinji grows up" which I think is the best story ever posted on FF.net. Flame me if you don't like the promotion of other stories but this one is just too good. If you want to read the best story about Evangelion then read this.
Shinji grows up is property of Ravenman9898 and Evangelion is property of… those people…
Please I beg of you, if you don't read my story, at least read, "Shinji grows up"… as for me… I'm used to having no fans for my stories… yeah….
If you rally think about it… I slacked on this chapter. It hurts to say that over half of this chapter wasn't even written by me… it's sad really… I deserve a flame… or two… or three… or fou- you get the pint so yeah….
Here at your disposal, DemonsaintP.S
As for the antechamber of fame… well I didn't leave the chapter out there long enough for anyone to really reply to it… however that was only because I had been sitting on it for at least a week.
Yes I have a couple new chapters but it seems like it'll be an on and off thing for me… not that anyone cares… or maybe…
Anyway, I'm thinking of posting one last chapter before the weekend is over… that may seem to be impossible as I can't seem to get my thoughts down onto paper without me… well… getting side tracked.
If anyone is still wandering, YES this is supposed to be a comedy… maybe a little romance… some action… and… something. Unfortunately I have a knack for making my stories dark and sometimes cruel to the point of insanity where the main character is forced to breakdown in order to rebuild themself and start over in order to move on… that is not what I'm trying to do with this story so it's a little harder to keep it moving as well as my others… that will hopefully (for your piece of mind) never come to fanfiction.net and reek havoc and depression for eras to come.
Or maybe I'm just exaggerating… that must be it.
Anyways… thank you for reading my self rant… it helps to know that maybe someone reads my stories other than my immediate friends…
Makes me feel… something… inside.
