Frozen Rain
Notes: Great thanks goes out to Sailor Lune, the first to review the last chapter! I promise to go more depth into their memories but only a little bit at a time. Glad you liked the last chapter!
Warning: Even though I am trying to keep this fic rated PG-13 if you have anything against a romantic relationship between two people with a ten year age gap between them then please save yourself the trouble of flaming this chapter, and the rest of this fic, by avoiding it like the plague. But I repeat I am keeping this PG-13, no smut, no sex okay, so if your under seventeen then there is nothing to worry about, not that anyone really pays attention to the ratings of fics, but still you never know.
Ami:14 Kunzite: 24
Chapter Nine
The Barrier
Ami
I am not really sure just how long I was asleep but when I woke up I felt much better. I felt cleansed almost; my mind was awakening to a new sense of clarity. Turning to my side I tried to get up but something was weighing me down. Turning my head I nearly collided head on into Kunzite's face. My body tensed until I realized that he was...sleeping. Odd, the man is normally still wide-awake when I go to bed and normally he has been awake for hours before I wake up; for a while I toyed with the idea that he can't sleep or just didn't feel the need to fall asleep. Growing uncomfortable with us being so close I try to wriggle away but the arm tossed over my side holds strong. I honestly hadn't expected him to stay let alone drop his guard down long enough to take a nap.
I close my eyes as the words of our fight rings through my ears. I hate him, he acts like he can just tell me what I should think and what I shouldn't; if I want to reminisce then that should be my business not his.
Even though I am still kind of confused about most of my memories and what order they are supposed to be sequenced in I do know one thing...I was either very sluty or a hopeless romantic in my past life. I mean come on, Zoicite, cute but a total nutcase and Kunzite, again handsome but mister touch-me- and-you-die; and I was in love with both of them, married one, had an affair of sort with the other and ended up dying in the arms of both of them. That right there ladies and gentlemen is very bizarre and unsettling to say the least.
I have to admit though, for being a complete ass Kunzite is handsome. Yeah yeah I know, shallow but hey you have to admit that the guy wouldn't win any congeniality awards so looks are the only redeeming quality that I can see in him.
His face is just an inch away from mine and since neither one of us is really going anywhere anytime soon I decided to be a bit evil.
Carefully I allow my right hand to hover just a breath above his face, slowly my index finger touches down on his left check; slowly I trace his jaw down to his chin only to retrace my steps until I take a detour to brush my fingertip against the knitted skin along his brow. I bite back a sigh of exasperation, Kunzite seems so stressed out all the time that its' a wonder that he doesn't have worry lines. Without thinking the rest of my hand joins the one finger and gently tries to soothe his brow. A small sigh escaped his lips, at this sound I stiffen, just waiting for him to open his eyes and ask me what the hell I am doing to him. Instead of waking up he just shifts and tightens his grip around my waist unconsciously drawing me closer. Okay, this is not a problem; yeah I am good, if I can just get him to loosen up his grip so that I can breathe!
I "gently" ribbed Kunzite in the side, he just grunted in his sleep. I tried prying his arm off of me, no good, but as Kunzite drifted further into sleep his grip loosened enough to allow me to breath freely. If the pervious proximity of our bodies was enough to make me uncomfortable this was defiantly nerve wracking. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest and hear the faint beat of his heart, yes folks contrary to popular belief he does have one. I glanced up to see myself surrounded by long silver strands of hair; no he is not shedding but the long curtain of his hair is currently smothering me. Don't get me wrong, his hair is one of his best features, it is nice, soft, and silky, but right now it has decided to become evil.
I blow a few stray strands out of my face only to be "attacked" by more strands.
Ahhhh! Back, back you rebellious threads of "perfect" silver evil! I said back!!!!!
"Ami,"
Uh oh.
I look up at Kunzite whom is now wide-awake, his eyes expressing a mixture of perplexity and annoyance.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I uh...whatever you're thinking it's not what it looks like!"
"It looks like you are trying to pull my hair out by the roots." Kunzite observed dryly.
"Hehe, would you believe that it was trying to kill me?" I asked feeling very stupid all of a sudden.
"...No."
"I thought not. So let's never mention this incident ever again alright?"
Silence
"I'll take that as a "sure Ami, no problem"." I replied with a nervous smile.
For a moment he just gave me his infamous you-are-crazy/stupid-but-I-really- don't-have-time-to-mock-you-so-can-we-please-move-on stare.
"You know what, you really should considering getting a hair cut. Don't get me wrong, your hair looks cool and all that but doesn't it get in the way?"
Kunzite doesn't reply to me suggestion as he turned to get out of bed.
"Alright, fine, ignore me you pompous ass, you....you cad! But just wait, one of these days those locks of yours are going to choke you in your sleep." I replied.
He turned his head to look at me. He stared at me almost as if he was at a lost at what to do or say next, if anything at all.
He recovered shortly, only to shock me by...laughing.
At first I thought that he was choking or coughing until the sound steadily grew louder; his shoulders were visibly shaking underneath his murderous hair. His hands curled around the sheets.
I frowned and poked Kunzite in his side, "What's so damn funny? Huh blonde?" I snarled.
"You,"
"I figured as much." I replied with a sigh.
He shook his head, still biting back chuckles he turned to face me. I had to bite back a he-is-so-dreamy sigh. The stern and unmoving expression on his face had softened just a little, a tiny crack in his stone-like countenance. I take it all back, he wasn't handsome before; a captivating man, not unlike a beautiful piece of art, yes. But like the statue David he had no real expression or warmth. It is now, when he is trying so hard not to laugh out loud, his eyes holding a spark of mischief, and a very small, almost not there, smile on his lips; that he looks handsome, almost angelically so. If Michelangelo were to see this living piece of art he would have wept.
I was so enthralled by this revelation that I almost missed hearing what Kunzite was saying.
"Killer hair?" He shook his head before finishing, "One of these days I'll figure out what makes that mind of yours tick."
I smiled, "I gave up trying to figure myself out years ago; so I really don't believe that you can even begin to scratch the surface."
He smirked, "Is that so?"
"Yes. Trust me, my thoughts tread into deeper waters than you can swim in."
He bit back another snicker.
This situation couldn't be more opposite of our heated argument and I for one couldn't be more pleased.
I said before that I hated him but at this moment I can almost...tolerate him.
And if only he would really smile for once...I just might seriously consider falling in...
Oh crap.
I suddenly realized just how close we were sitting across from each other. Somehow him, me, we had gravitated towards one another.
We were close enough for me to see that his eyes are more violet than gray. So close that we there is less than an inch separating us; just close enough to kis...no bad Ami.
'Ah yeah, right bad Ami-chan, um listen while you're berating yourself would you mind telling blonde to back off a bit. Can you say pedophile?'
I had to inwardly laugh at my cynical voice.
Ha! Yeah right like he would even think of kissing me.
Kunzite
It was strange enough waking up to have find my arms wrapped around Ami but to have her yanking on my hair was very...unexpected.
"Hehe, would you believe that it was trying to attack me?" she asked nervously.
I blinked my eyes, gods what am I going to do with this moron?
"...No," I replied bluntly.
"I though not. So let's never mention this ever again alright?" Ami asked/pleaded.
I gave her the silent treatment. Hair that attacks people? What in the world goes through that girl's mind?
"You know what, you really should consider getting a haircut. Don't get me wrong your hair looks cool and all of that but doesn't it get in the way?"
I ignored that comment, thus causing her to make that ridiculous comment.
I couldn't help but mentally picturing several strands of hair rising up like a python and choking their person to death while they slept. Morbid picture but funny none the less. I made a very valiant effort not to laugh but in the end was forced to surrender.
Ami kept poking me in the side with a dark scowl on her face, she never likes be laughed at or being condescended.
I wonder about her sometimes, one minute she seems so intelligent and confident the next she is very shy seeming to be afraid of the world, me, or even herself at times. And then there are these little unintentional bursts of humor whether it is something that she said by accident or some mistake she made that appears to be more endearing than frustrating.
While I was trying to stifle my laughter I saw a strange expression pass over Ami's face. Something told me that I have seen that look before.
I told the "something" to shut up before it could take me down memory lane.
To distract myself I admitted to her that I wished what goes on in her mind.
She smiled; in return she backhandedly admitted that she didn't know herself very well.
Suddenly I see her dressed in a long silk gown, her face looking only a four years older, her body more that of a woman than a child verging on adolescence. That sweet yet sarcastic smile those all-knowing eyes that mocked me more than once when I would lose my temper or do something stupid, and those stubborn bangs of blue hair that tucked behind her ears, making her look like a blue elf or water sprite. Siren is a more fitting name for her since she captivated Zoicite and later me over a millennium ago.
'If you're not careful old boy you just might become captivated by her again.'
I shook my head.
I am NOT thinking about her this way.
It is wrong for several reasons. Reason one: we are enemies. Two: we are already trying to take advantage of one another to gain our own ends. Three and most importantly: we are at best ten years apart in age, not to mention that she is fourteen. Nothing good can come from this.
And yet we draw closer to one another.
'Just a taste, is that too much to ask for?' a part of me asked.
My right hand slow gravitates from resting on the mattress to where it is just barely hovering over the left side of Ami's face.
Her eyes grow a wide but she doesn't back away, instead she rigidly remains still even as my fingers gently brush against her skin. Soft ivory gently yields under my touch. Down her high check bone and her jaw line that quivered slightly. Finally my index finger rests on the corner of her lips, I carefully drag my finger across her closed mouth feeling the soft pink texture that I must have kissed a thousand times in her pervious life.
Her eyes followed me, the same unexplainable expression written in them.
Does she think I am crazy?
If so she isn't the only one whom is questioning my sanity.
Is she disgusted, does she think that I am a dirty old man for wanting to touch her?
'This is wrong! Stop this nonsense before it goes too far!' common sense screams at me in boisterous volumes.
My finger had paused briefly at the center of Ami's lips; suddenly her pink tongue pried free from her mouth and took a very tentative lick.
A shock of electricity coursed through my veins as the voice of reason flat out bellowed for me to get away from Ami as much as possible. But like an idiot I remained.
'This is so wrong; she's ten years younger than you. Fourteen for crying out loud! Have you no shame at all?'
Ami's smaller hand reached up to grasp my wrist, this time her eyes held a clear expression of confusion.
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, then she opened her mouth again this time actual words came forth, "What are we doing?"
"To be honest, I don't know. But," I rested my forehead against hers, "I think that if we keep this up there will be no going back."
Ami nibbled on her lower lip before physically voicing my own protests, "This is wrong. No one will understand. I don't even want to think about...something like this."
I reluctantly withdrew, "You're right. The question is why is it?"
Ami stuttered, "Because of our ages!" she protested.
I nodded, "That's true. But for a moment push that aside, why else?"
She scowled, "We're enemies."
"Exactly," I said more to myself then to Ami.
Two very good reasons on why we should have just left each other alone.
Two prime excuses for us to back down while we were still able to.
"We can't allow ourselves to make the same mistake twice." I replied with a stern tone of finality.
I turned to leave only to pause when Ami rested her hand on my shoulder.
Her soft voice asked, "Was it really that bad? Such a horrible experience that you would refuse a repeat?"
"No. No it wasn't horrible." I replied. "Almost heaven at times. But it was,"
"Too good to last?" Ami finished for me.
I nodded before trying to leave again.
Suddenly slender arms wrapped tightly around my waist, a head resting against my back.
"Sometimes," she started, "I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't married Zoicite. Would we have changed our fates, would we have tried to meddle in something that wasn't our place to tamper with? Would the Moon Kingdom have survived to this date?" Ami wondered aloud.
I shrugged my shoulders, "The Moon Kingdom might have survived if we hadn't changed what was supposed to be. On the other hand I don't think that our slight alteration could have been the driving force to the destruction of the Moon Kingdom."
I turned my head to give her a smirk, "I n all honesty I think that we were used as Fate's convenient scapegoats; no one really wants to blame Fate, they always, always have to place the blame on a human, an event, just anything but the real culprit."
Ami nodded her head in response, "Now that I think about it that does make sense but then again I may have all my memories I just can't seem to sort them out. None of them seem to make sense."
I rolled my eyes, "That again," I replied in an irritated tone, but I didn't feel angered by her admission as I had earlier, right now I was still feeling the groggy hold of sleep. Sleep just got in the way especially since we are so close to being rid of the scouts, of Beryl, of this whole damn world.
I was hit by a revelation. If our plan worked we could, if we overcame our mutual revulsion of the years separating us; that we could be together. Who would be there to stop us? No one. Who could point fingers at us and call us wrong? No one.
The only obstacles standing in our way would be us.
If we did start a relation ship it wouldn't be serious since she is fourteen, but in a few years who knows.
Yes, I am becoming too optimistic for my own good.
I quickly squelch that idea. She is already clouding my mind with impossible plans. This is why she can't be allowed to live. Once our plan is completed I will kill her by cutting her off of the energy source.
But my resolve wavers as she rest her head on my shoulder. Through the corner of my eye I can see her dark blue eyes drop in sleep. As I gently shrug her off, allowing her to fall back into bed arguments on the pros and cons of keeping her race through my mind.
If I keep her it will be like there never was a war. It would be as if the Silver Millennium had ever ended. We could make each other happy.
Con...come on people give me some ideas... please.
I move to get up for the last time but again being detained by the blue haired child.
Her arms were still loosely linked around my waist, her eyes heavy with sleep but her smile bright and almost loving.
"You know what?" she asked.
I refused to answer, already knowing what she was going to say.
Her smile wavered a bit but she was determined to damn us.
"I think that I might be in love with."
With those seemingly insignificant words she drifted back to sleep.
Ami
A lone cry echoed through the dark woods that I had visited more than three months ago.
Carefully, still slightly afraid that the ground would fall underneath me like cheap glass, I followed the sound of the cries. I didn't have to go far; before I had even reached the first small clearing I found the source of the sound.
Queen Serenity.
Her slender form was bent over almost as if she was praying, grass and dirt stains were present on her long white dress, her previously orderly silver tresses looked messy almost most as if they hadn't been brushed in months. Tears were endlessly streaming down her face.
I felt the same suffocating guilt that I experienced when all of the senshi found out that I had 'betrayed" them. Slowly I approached the older woman but before I could get within five feet of her a broken voice spoke.
"I warned you. I told that you shouldn't have trusted him!" the woman wailed.
I lowered my head in shame.
"I am sorry that I have caused you grief your majesty but I had to try at least."
"He doesn't love you," Queen Serenity stated sternly. Then she turned her head, allowing her soft blue eyes to rest on me, "And you knew it."
I nodded, biting back my own tears.
"Why? Why would you willingly put yourself through such pain?" Serenity asked in a bewildered tone.
'For love' I wanted to say but I knew that it would sound too sappy and stupid.
Serenity shook her head, "How you can "love" a monster like that is beyond me."
"He wasn't always like that. And besides he didn't change Fate alone, I helped him."
"You were young and foolish!" Serenity protested.
"Why are trying to make Kunzite out to be the "bad guy" and at the same time try to make me look innocent? For all you know I could have forced or at least talked Kunzite into taking such a drastic action with me."
The queen sobbed, "It's not fair. You could have had a wonderful, peaceful life with Zoicite. I just don't understand why you would just give him up so easily, especially when you loved him so much."
I shook my head, "Yes, I loved him but not the love a woman has for her husband, more of a fondness, a sibling kind of affection."
"You only felt that way because you didn't try hard enough, if you had given it a year or two you would have grown to love him, I know you would have but you had to throw it all away by having an affair with Kunzite. And if that wasn't bad enough he was married to Mina."
She sobbed again, "I just don't understand. How could have things become so...complicated? Everything was so perfect and then...it all just fell apart."
I bit my lip; I was so tempted to remind her that she was the one whom had arranged our marriages were arranged by our hands and despite what she chose to believe Kunzite were more content with each other then we would have ever been with our spouses. We tried so hard to fight our feelings out of respect and of course fondness, if not love, for our spouses.
'Please, stay. Just for tonight. As soon as morning comes we can forget each other and be dutiful spouses. Just for tonight.'
But one night turned into a week. A week effortlessly expanded into a month, two months, and then six months. It was wonderful when we were together; but when we had to force ourselves to return to the world outside of our respective rooms guilt ate at us because we both knew that even though we loved each other we were doing a great wrong to Mina and Zoicite. Even though our love made us content it was causing grief to those we cared about.
And then...it all came crashing down.
I am not sure what happened first but I knew that someone had found out about our affair, and while we tried to keep that person from blabbing our secret to the Court I was found to be pregnant, it was just a great big mess and the more we tried to escape the gravity of the situation the more we seemed to drown in it.
The big finish was about to take place because the one whom knew about our affair wasn't too please that we hadn't met her demands so we only had one choice.
'The young woman with dark blue hair shuttered; her dark blue eyes couldn't pry away from the dark red blood stains on her lover's hands. His white hair was a mess, his eyes still fierce from rage, a long scar clawed down the side of his face still dripping its' own blood. He turned to face her. For one horrible moment she was afraid that he had gone mad and was going to kill her and her unborn child. Seeing the look of utter terror in her eyes the man started down at his hand with a puzzled and gradually horrified expression.
'Ami?' he asked, his voice chocked with an emotion that she was now feeling.
Fear.
He had just killed someone. That horrible bitchy woman was lying lifelessly against the wall, her neck snapped and bruised. They were free from her exposing them but Kunzite had killed another human... She shook her head. No, it wasn't solely his fault. She had a part in it. she might have not laid a finger on the woman but Kunzite had confronted the woman for her, for them, for their baby. And right now he needed her. He was just as frightened about his actions as she was, maybe even more. Slowly she closed the seemingly eternal gap between them, as soon as she reached him she embraced him tightly. For the longest moment Kunzite couldn't move, then he returned her embrace, his horse voice whispering to her, 'It's alright Ami. Shhh don't cry, now that she's gone we are going to be all right. We just have to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again. We have to be more careful especially when the baby comes.' She listened to him quietly, her ears were listening to every word and tried so hard to believe them but something told her that this was the beginning of the end.'
But it didn't stop there. The body had to be carefully hidden, to make it look like a tragic accident. Two days later her body was found floating in one of the small obscure lakes outside the palace grounds. The healers figured that she had fallen into the lake and had broken her neck on the rocks and everyone believed that except for the ones responsible. By the time I began "showing" Kunzite and I were franticly trying to cover up the fact that I was pregnant even though I haven't slept with my husband since he left for a diplomatic mission over eight months ago. That's when we discovered that we could change our destiny without out affecting our child and the rest of the Kingdom. After many painful hours worth of researching and a numerous amount of gold spent we had our answer.
'He stared at the green vial skeptically. Amazing, almost unbelievable in fact, that this little bit of liquid could be the answer to their prayers. Across the room Ami gave a shocked gasp, he looked up from the potion to see her staring out the balcony windows, her small hands resting gently on top of her now rounding stomach. She was already seven months but had just recently begun showing. There were many times that he worried about whether or not she could carry the child full term since she was so petite and slender but so far so good. She should be resting, he thought but knew that if he so much as suggested her to sit down for a few minutes she would huff and say that she was a "big girl and could take of herself" or his personal favorite, 'you really need stop worrying so much, otherwise you'll get so many wrinkles that I'll be forced to leave you for a younger looking man.' She would never leave him though, not because of the baby, but because what they had was, for the lack of a better word, special. They knew each other inside and out and still loved each other for the sometimes-monumental appearing flaws in one another. For example his "mother-hen", as she called it, approach towards her and the baby's welfare.
'Something wrong?' he asked her.
She opened her eyes then shook her head, a small smile gracing her face, "Nothing's wrong. Baby is just a bit restless; he won't stop kicking my right side.
He had to smile at this, 'What makes you think it is a boy? He could just as well be a she.'
Her smile grew, 'Feminine instinct Kun-Kun, feminine instinct.'
'All I am saying that it could as well be a very spirited filly instead of a stallion,'
Ami rolled her eyes, 'Kunzite, in case you haven't noticed I am a human female, not a horse; if I am going to give birth to either gender we can at least be assured that this baby will be human; unless there is something that you want to tell me."
He just laughed, "Sorry to disappoint you Ami, but I am not half werewolf, a full blooded vampire, or even part centaur."
She gave him a mock pout, "Not even a hint of dragon's blood runs through your veins?' she asked sounding dramatically disappointed.
'No dragon blood, sorry.'
'Well then, this baby had better be content with being your average, run of the mill, human,' Ami teased but she broke off in mid sentence when her eyes fell on the jade vial.
'Is that the potion?' she asked as she walked towards the desk.
Kunzite nodded, "Yes, but I am not certain that you should take it.'
Ami scowled, "Come on Kun, it can't taste that bad,' she said as her small hand reached to pick up the glass vial.
Kunzite shot out his hand to stop her, 'It's not the taste. I was looking over the notes that the alchemist gave us. A few of the ingredients look very questionable.'
'Questionable how?' Ami asked innocently.
'I am no sure, but I think a few of these plants are used in some of the most toxic poisons on record. If they are mixed right they could negate one another but if mixed another way they could be used to create a lethal draught,' he replied.
Ami rolled her eyes, 'Well you took some and you haven't killed over yet,' she said before reaching to grab the vial again this time Kunzite slapped her hand away.
'I am a guard remember, when I was young part of my training was building an immunity to a lot of deadly poisons so I just in case if I was ever poisoned I could survive; you on the other hand don't not have such an immunity plus you have the baby to worry about.'
'But for it to work we both have to take it don't we?'
'Not necessarily, the entire draught needs to be drunk so I'll finish off the last bit in a few minutes. But I am really beginning to wonder if we have been duped.'
Ami sighed; drawing herself up to Kunzite's side she rested her head on his shoulder, carefully moving his hand to rest on her stomach.
'Until we know otherwise Kunzite just hope for the best. After all we have been through we need a bit of hope.' Ami said as she gently curled her palm to fit inside Kunzite's still lying on her stomach.
At last I was drawn back into present day, or the present dream world that is. Queen Serenity was still sobbing quietly sometimes muttering to herself.
At this point I wanted to slap the hysterical woman. The only thing stopping me from doing so was realizing that I whether Kunzite and myself had intended to or not we had destroyed her beloved kingdom, her subjects, even her daughter was taken away from her.
It has taken me three months to realize an invaluable truth, there is no black, no white, just a lot of gray and depending on how you look at it the light hits the grays to turn them different shades, dark or light, but no white and no black. To Queen Serenity Kunzite and I loved each other just to spite Fate but in our eyes we were so in love with each other that we were blinded by the consequences of our love until it was too late to turn back. Even now, the queen thinks that she has a right to weep and swoon because we strayed from the plan that destiny had laid before us again.
With nothing left to say to Queen Serenity I turned to walk away all the while reliving the tragedy that had been born from our romance.
A very twisted version of Romeo and Juliet, because while everyone else died around us for the sake of our love we remained alive and well. Now at the closing of Act Two we were seriously considering about just saying that the past is the past. But while "Romeo" is willing to walk off the stage this "Juliet" is waiting for her curtain call in the form of a final kiss hopefully laced with bittersweet poison so that she can die. So that she can forget that she ever loved.
Where are those damn daggers when you need them?
Notes: Thank you guys so much for reading, before I start with the official thanks I would like to say that I plan to wrap this fic up within the next four or five chapters, but I am not sure if I should wrap this little fic saga up with just the end of this fic or do a sequel later. Anyway just thought that I would give you guys fair warning. Now on to the thanks...
To Sailor Lune: I tried to sneak a few snippets of their memories into this chapter; I hope that you enjoy them!
To Kaiya: A day earlier but hopefully not falling short in quality. And yeah I can understand, sometimes Fan Fiction Net can be a bit irritating but then again I like posting my stuff here so unless the site really starts to go downhill then I might move to a different site. I could go on but I think that is more than enough site bashing for now. Thanks for reviewing ^_^
Yui4: Again I tried to squeeze as many memories as I could without spoiling the entire plot and I am very flattered by your compliment. I am also glad that you don't think that Ami is out of character, the reason I avoid writing Sailor Moon fics for so long, especially one with a very un-canon couple, was because I was so afraid that I would make someone OOC and people would get mad at me, so you made my day =..
Notes: Great thanks goes out to Sailor Lune, the first to review the last chapter! I promise to go more depth into their memories but only a little bit at a time. Glad you liked the last chapter!
Warning: Even though I am trying to keep this fic rated PG-13 if you have anything against a romantic relationship between two people with a ten year age gap between them then please save yourself the trouble of flaming this chapter, and the rest of this fic, by avoiding it like the plague. But I repeat I am keeping this PG-13, no smut, no sex okay, so if your under seventeen then there is nothing to worry about, not that anyone really pays attention to the ratings of fics, but still you never know.
Ami:14 Kunzite: 24
Chapter Nine
The Barrier
Ami
I am not really sure just how long I was asleep but when I woke up I felt much better. I felt cleansed almost; my mind was awakening to a new sense of clarity. Turning to my side I tried to get up but something was weighing me down. Turning my head I nearly collided head on into Kunzite's face. My body tensed until I realized that he was...sleeping. Odd, the man is normally still wide-awake when I go to bed and normally he has been awake for hours before I wake up; for a while I toyed with the idea that he can't sleep or just didn't feel the need to fall asleep. Growing uncomfortable with us being so close I try to wriggle away but the arm tossed over my side holds strong. I honestly hadn't expected him to stay let alone drop his guard down long enough to take a nap.
I close my eyes as the words of our fight rings through my ears. I hate him, he acts like he can just tell me what I should think and what I shouldn't; if I want to reminisce then that should be my business not his.
Even though I am still kind of confused about most of my memories and what order they are supposed to be sequenced in I do know one thing...I was either very sluty or a hopeless romantic in my past life. I mean come on, Zoicite, cute but a total nutcase and Kunzite, again handsome but mister touch-me- and-you-die; and I was in love with both of them, married one, had an affair of sort with the other and ended up dying in the arms of both of them. That right there ladies and gentlemen is very bizarre and unsettling to say the least.
I have to admit though, for being a complete ass Kunzite is handsome. Yeah yeah I know, shallow but hey you have to admit that the guy wouldn't win any congeniality awards so looks are the only redeeming quality that I can see in him.
His face is just an inch away from mine and since neither one of us is really going anywhere anytime soon I decided to be a bit evil.
Carefully I allow my right hand to hover just a breath above his face, slowly my index finger touches down on his left check; slowly I trace his jaw down to his chin only to retrace my steps until I take a detour to brush my fingertip against the knitted skin along his brow. I bite back a sigh of exasperation, Kunzite seems so stressed out all the time that its' a wonder that he doesn't have worry lines. Without thinking the rest of my hand joins the one finger and gently tries to soothe his brow. A small sigh escaped his lips, at this sound I stiffen, just waiting for him to open his eyes and ask me what the hell I am doing to him. Instead of waking up he just shifts and tightens his grip around my waist unconsciously drawing me closer. Okay, this is not a problem; yeah I am good, if I can just get him to loosen up his grip so that I can breathe!
I "gently" ribbed Kunzite in the side, he just grunted in his sleep. I tried prying his arm off of me, no good, but as Kunzite drifted further into sleep his grip loosened enough to allow me to breath freely. If the pervious proximity of our bodies was enough to make me uncomfortable this was defiantly nerve wracking. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest and hear the faint beat of his heart, yes folks contrary to popular belief he does have one. I glanced up to see myself surrounded by long silver strands of hair; no he is not shedding but the long curtain of his hair is currently smothering me. Don't get me wrong, his hair is one of his best features, it is nice, soft, and silky, but right now it has decided to become evil.
I blow a few stray strands out of my face only to be "attacked" by more strands.
Ahhhh! Back, back you rebellious threads of "perfect" silver evil! I said back!!!!!
"Ami,"
Uh oh.
I look up at Kunzite whom is now wide-awake, his eyes expressing a mixture of perplexity and annoyance.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I uh...whatever you're thinking it's not what it looks like!"
"It looks like you are trying to pull my hair out by the roots." Kunzite observed dryly.
"Hehe, would you believe that it was trying to kill me?" I asked feeling very stupid all of a sudden.
"...No."
"I thought not. So let's never mention this incident ever again alright?"
Silence
"I'll take that as a "sure Ami, no problem"." I replied with a nervous smile.
For a moment he just gave me his infamous you-are-crazy/stupid-but-I-really- don't-have-time-to-mock-you-so-can-we-please-move-on stare.
"You know what, you really should considering getting a hair cut. Don't get me wrong, your hair looks cool and all that but doesn't it get in the way?"
Kunzite doesn't reply to me suggestion as he turned to get out of bed.
"Alright, fine, ignore me you pompous ass, you....you cad! But just wait, one of these days those locks of yours are going to choke you in your sleep." I replied.
He turned his head to look at me. He stared at me almost as if he was at a lost at what to do or say next, if anything at all.
He recovered shortly, only to shock me by...laughing.
At first I thought that he was choking or coughing until the sound steadily grew louder; his shoulders were visibly shaking underneath his murderous hair. His hands curled around the sheets.
I frowned and poked Kunzite in his side, "What's so damn funny? Huh blonde?" I snarled.
"You,"
"I figured as much." I replied with a sigh.
He shook his head, still biting back chuckles he turned to face me. I had to bite back a he-is-so-dreamy sigh. The stern and unmoving expression on his face had softened just a little, a tiny crack in his stone-like countenance. I take it all back, he wasn't handsome before; a captivating man, not unlike a beautiful piece of art, yes. But like the statue David he had no real expression or warmth. It is now, when he is trying so hard not to laugh out loud, his eyes holding a spark of mischief, and a very small, almost not there, smile on his lips; that he looks handsome, almost angelically so. If Michelangelo were to see this living piece of art he would have wept.
I was so enthralled by this revelation that I almost missed hearing what Kunzite was saying.
"Killer hair?" He shook his head before finishing, "One of these days I'll figure out what makes that mind of yours tick."
I smiled, "I gave up trying to figure myself out years ago; so I really don't believe that you can even begin to scratch the surface."
He smirked, "Is that so?"
"Yes. Trust me, my thoughts tread into deeper waters than you can swim in."
He bit back another snicker.
This situation couldn't be more opposite of our heated argument and I for one couldn't be more pleased.
I said before that I hated him but at this moment I can almost...tolerate him.
And if only he would really smile for once...I just might seriously consider falling in...
Oh crap.
I suddenly realized just how close we were sitting across from each other. Somehow him, me, we had gravitated towards one another.
We were close enough for me to see that his eyes are more violet than gray. So close that we there is less than an inch separating us; just close enough to kis...no bad Ami.
'Ah yeah, right bad Ami-chan, um listen while you're berating yourself would you mind telling blonde to back off a bit. Can you say pedophile?'
I had to inwardly laugh at my cynical voice.
Ha! Yeah right like he would even think of kissing me.
Kunzite
It was strange enough waking up to have find my arms wrapped around Ami but to have her yanking on my hair was very...unexpected.
"Hehe, would you believe that it was trying to attack me?" she asked nervously.
I blinked my eyes, gods what am I going to do with this moron?
"...No," I replied bluntly.
"I though not. So let's never mention this ever again alright?" Ami asked/pleaded.
I gave her the silent treatment. Hair that attacks people? What in the world goes through that girl's mind?
"You know what, you really should consider getting a haircut. Don't get me wrong your hair looks cool and all of that but doesn't it get in the way?"
I ignored that comment, thus causing her to make that ridiculous comment.
I couldn't help but mentally picturing several strands of hair rising up like a python and choking their person to death while they slept. Morbid picture but funny none the less. I made a very valiant effort not to laugh but in the end was forced to surrender.
Ami kept poking me in the side with a dark scowl on her face, she never likes be laughed at or being condescended.
I wonder about her sometimes, one minute she seems so intelligent and confident the next she is very shy seeming to be afraid of the world, me, or even herself at times. And then there are these little unintentional bursts of humor whether it is something that she said by accident or some mistake she made that appears to be more endearing than frustrating.
While I was trying to stifle my laughter I saw a strange expression pass over Ami's face. Something told me that I have seen that look before.
I told the "something" to shut up before it could take me down memory lane.
To distract myself I admitted to her that I wished what goes on in her mind.
She smiled; in return she backhandedly admitted that she didn't know herself very well.
Suddenly I see her dressed in a long silk gown, her face looking only a four years older, her body more that of a woman than a child verging on adolescence. That sweet yet sarcastic smile those all-knowing eyes that mocked me more than once when I would lose my temper or do something stupid, and those stubborn bangs of blue hair that tucked behind her ears, making her look like a blue elf or water sprite. Siren is a more fitting name for her since she captivated Zoicite and later me over a millennium ago.
'If you're not careful old boy you just might become captivated by her again.'
I shook my head.
I am NOT thinking about her this way.
It is wrong for several reasons. Reason one: we are enemies. Two: we are already trying to take advantage of one another to gain our own ends. Three and most importantly: we are at best ten years apart in age, not to mention that she is fourteen. Nothing good can come from this.
And yet we draw closer to one another.
'Just a taste, is that too much to ask for?' a part of me asked.
My right hand slow gravitates from resting on the mattress to where it is just barely hovering over the left side of Ami's face.
Her eyes grow a wide but she doesn't back away, instead she rigidly remains still even as my fingers gently brush against her skin. Soft ivory gently yields under my touch. Down her high check bone and her jaw line that quivered slightly. Finally my index finger rests on the corner of her lips, I carefully drag my finger across her closed mouth feeling the soft pink texture that I must have kissed a thousand times in her pervious life.
Her eyes followed me, the same unexplainable expression written in them.
Does she think I am crazy?
If so she isn't the only one whom is questioning my sanity.
Is she disgusted, does she think that I am a dirty old man for wanting to touch her?
'This is wrong! Stop this nonsense before it goes too far!' common sense screams at me in boisterous volumes.
My finger had paused briefly at the center of Ami's lips; suddenly her pink tongue pried free from her mouth and took a very tentative lick.
A shock of electricity coursed through my veins as the voice of reason flat out bellowed for me to get away from Ami as much as possible. But like an idiot I remained.
'This is so wrong; she's ten years younger than you. Fourteen for crying out loud! Have you no shame at all?'
Ami's smaller hand reached up to grasp my wrist, this time her eyes held a clear expression of confusion.
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, then she opened her mouth again this time actual words came forth, "What are we doing?"
"To be honest, I don't know. But," I rested my forehead against hers, "I think that if we keep this up there will be no going back."
Ami nibbled on her lower lip before physically voicing my own protests, "This is wrong. No one will understand. I don't even want to think about...something like this."
I reluctantly withdrew, "You're right. The question is why is it?"
Ami stuttered, "Because of our ages!" she protested.
I nodded, "That's true. But for a moment push that aside, why else?"
She scowled, "We're enemies."
"Exactly," I said more to myself then to Ami.
Two very good reasons on why we should have just left each other alone.
Two prime excuses for us to back down while we were still able to.
"We can't allow ourselves to make the same mistake twice." I replied with a stern tone of finality.
I turned to leave only to pause when Ami rested her hand on my shoulder.
Her soft voice asked, "Was it really that bad? Such a horrible experience that you would refuse a repeat?"
"No. No it wasn't horrible." I replied. "Almost heaven at times. But it was,"
"Too good to last?" Ami finished for me.
I nodded before trying to leave again.
Suddenly slender arms wrapped tightly around my waist, a head resting against my back.
"Sometimes," she started, "I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't married Zoicite. Would we have changed our fates, would we have tried to meddle in something that wasn't our place to tamper with? Would the Moon Kingdom have survived to this date?" Ami wondered aloud.
I shrugged my shoulders, "The Moon Kingdom might have survived if we hadn't changed what was supposed to be. On the other hand I don't think that our slight alteration could have been the driving force to the destruction of the Moon Kingdom."
I turned my head to give her a smirk, "I n all honesty I think that we were used as Fate's convenient scapegoats; no one really wants to blame Fate, they always, always have to place the blame on a human, an event, just anything but the real culprit."
Ami nodded her head in response, "Now that I think about it that does make sense but then again I may have all my memories I just can't seem to sort them out. None of them seem to make sense."
I rolled my eyes, "That again," I replied in an irritated tone, but I didn't feel angered by her admission as I had earlier, right now I was still feeling the groggy hold of sleep. Sleep just got in the way especially since we are so close to being rid of the scouts, of Beryl, of this whole damn world.
I was hit by a revelation. If our plan worked we could, if we overcame our mutual revulsion of the years separating us; that we could be together. Who would be there to stop us? No one. Who could point fingers at us and call us wrong? No one.
The only obstacles standing in our way would be us.
If we did start a relation ship it wouldn't be serious since she is fourteen, but in a few years who knows.
Yes, I am becoming too optimistic for my own good.
I quickly squelch that idea. She is already clouding my mind with impossible plans. This is why she can't be allowed to live. Once our plan is completed I will kill her by cutting her off of the energy source.
But my resolve wavers as she rest her head on my shoulder. Through the corner of my eye I can see her dark blue eyes drop in sleep. As I gently shrug her off, allowing her to fall back into bed arguments on the pros and cons of keeping her race through my mind.
If I keep her it will be like there never was a war. It would be as if the Silver Millennium had ever ended. We could make each other happy.
Con...come on people give me some ideas... please.
I move to get up for the last time but again being detained by the blue haired child.
Her arms were still loosely linked around my waist, her eyes heavy with sleep but her smile bright and almost loving.
"You know what?" she asked.
I refused to answer, already knowing what she was going to say.
Her smile wavered a bit but she was determined to damn us.
"I think that I might be in love with."
With those seemingly insignificant words she drifted back to sleep.
Ami
A lone cry echoed through the dark woods that I had visited more than three months ago.
Carefully, still slightly afraid that the ground would fall underneath me like cheap glass, I followed the sound of the cries. I didn't have to go far; before I had even reached the first small clearing I found the source of the sound.
Queen Serenity.
Her slender form was bent over almost as if she was praying, grass and dirt stains were present on her long white dress, her previously orderly silver tresses looked messy almost most as if they hadn't been brushed in months. Tears were endlessly streaming down her face.
I felt the same suffocating guilt that I experienced when all of the senshi found out that I had 'betrayed" them. Slowly I approached the older woman but before I could get within five feet of her a broken voice spoke.
"I warned you. I told that you shouldn't have trusted him!" the woman wailed.
I lowered my head in shame.
"I am sorry that I have caused you grief your majesty but I had to try at least."
"He doesn't love you," Queen Serenity stated sternly. Then she turned her head, allowing her soft blue eyes to rest on me, "And you knew it."
I nodded, biting back my own tears.
"Why? Why would you willingly put yourself through such pain?" Serenity asked in a bewildered tone.
'For love' I wanted to say but I knew that it would sound too sappy and stupid.
Serenity shook her head, "How you can "love" a monster like that is beyond me."
"He wasn't always like that. And besides he didn't change Fate alone, I helped him."
"You were young and foolish!" Serenity protested.
"Why are trying to make Kunzite out to be the "bad guy" and at the same time try to make me look innocent? For all you know I could have forced or at least talked Kunzite into taking such a drastic action with me."
The queen sobbed, "It's not fair. You could have had a wonderful, peaceful life with Zoicite. I just don't understand why you would just give him up so easily, especially when you loved him so much."
I shook my head, "Yes, I loved him but not the love a woman has for her husband, more of a fondness, a sibling kind of affection."
"You only felt that way because you didn't try hard enough, if you had given it a year or two you would have grown to love him, I know you would have but you had to throw it all away by having an affair with Kunzite. And if that wasn't bad enough he was married to Mina."
She sobbed again, "I just don't understand. How could have things become so...complicated? Everything was so perfect and then...it all just fell apart."
I bit my lip; I was so tempted to remind her that she was the one whom had arranged our marriages were arranged by our hands and despite what she chose to believe Kunzite were more content with each other then we would have ever been with our spouses. We tried so hard to fight our feelings out of respect and of course fondness, if not love, for our spouses.
'Please, stay. Just for tonight. As soon as morning comes we can forget each other and be dutiful spouses. Just for tonight.'
But one night turned into a week. A week effortlessly expanded into a month, two months, and then six months. It was wonderful when we were together; but when we had to force ourselves to return to the world outside of our respective rooms guilt ate at us because we both knew that even though we loved each other we were doing a great wrong to Mina and Zoicite. Even though our love made us content it was causing grief to those we cared about.
And then...it all came crashing down.
I am not sure what happened first but I knew that someone had found out about our affair, and while we tried to keep that person from blabbing our secret to the Court I was found to be pregnant, it was just a great big mess and the more we tried to escape the gravity of the situation the more we seemed to drown in it.
The big finish was about to take place because the one whom knew about our affair wasn't too please that we hadn't met her demands so we only had one choice.
'The young woman with dark blue hair shuttered; her dark blue eyes couldn't pry away from the dark red blood stains on her lover's hands. His white hair was a mess, his eyes still fierce from rage, a long scar clawed down the side of his face still dripping its' own blood. He turned to face her. For one horrible moment she was afraid that he had gone mad and was going to kill her and her unborn child. Seeing the look of utter terror in her eyes the man started down at his hand with a puzzled and gradually horrified expression.
'Ami?' he asked, his voice chocked with an emotion that she was now feeling.
Fear.
He had just killed someone. That horrible bitchy woman was lying lifelessly against the wall, her neck snapped and bruised. They were free from her exposing them but Kunzite had killed another human... She shook her head. No, it wasn't solely his fault. She had a part in it. she might have not laid a finger on the woman but Kunzite had confronted the woman for her, for them, for their baby. And right now he needed her. He was just as frightened about his actions as she was, maybe even more. Slowly she closed the seemingly eternal gap between them, as soon as she reached him she embraced him tightly. For the longest moment Kunzite couldn't move, then he returned her embrace, his horse voice whispering to her, 'It's alright Ami. Shhh don't cry, now that she's gone we are going to be all right. We just have to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again. We have to be more careful especially when the baby comes.' She listened to him quietly, her ears were listening to every word and tried so hard to believe them but something told her that this was the beginning of the end.'
But it didn't stop there. The body had to be carefully hidden, to make it look like a tragic accident. Two days later her body was found floating in one of the small obscure lakes outside the palace grounds. The healers figured that she had fallen into the lake and had broken her neck on the rocks and everyone believed that except for the ones responsible. By the time I began "showing" Kunzite and I were franticly trying to cover up the fact that I was pregnant even though I haven't slept with my husband since he left for a diplomatic mission over eight months ago. That's when we discovered that we could change our destiny without out affecting our child and the rest of the Kingdom. After many painful hours worth of researching and a numerous amount of gold spent we had our answer.
'He stared at the green vial skeptically. Amazing, almost unbelievable in fact, that this little bit of liquid could be the answer to their prayers. Across the room Ami gave a shocked gasp, he looked up from the potion to see her staring out the balcony windows, her small hands resting gently on top of her now rounding stomach. She was already seven months but had just recently begun showing. There were many times that he worried about whether or not she could carry the child full term since she was so petite and slender but so far so good. She should be resting, he thought but knew that if he so much as suggested her to sit down for a few minutes she would huff and say that she was a "big girl and could take of herself" or his personal favorite, 'you really need stop worrying so much, otherwise you'll get so many wrinkles that I'll be forced to leave you for a younger looking man.' She would never leave him though, not because of the baby, but because what they had was, for the lack of a better word, special. They knew each other inside and out and still loved each other for the sometimes-monumental appearing flaws in one another. For example his "mother-hen", as she called it, approach towards her and the baby's welfare.
'Something wrong?' he asked her.
She opened her eyes then shook her head, a small smile gracing her face, "Nothing's wrong. Baby is just a bit restless; he won't stop kicking my right side.
He had to smile at this, 'What makes you think it is a boy? He could just as well be a she.'
Her smile grew, 'Feminine instinct Kun-Kun, feminine instinct.'
'All I am saying that it could as well be a very spirited filly instead of a stallion,'
Ami rolled her eyes, 'Kunzite, in case you haven't noticed I am a human female, not a horse; if I am going to give birth to either gender we can at least be assured that this baby will be human; unless there is something that you want to tell me."
He just laughed, "Sorry to disappoint you Ami, but I am not half werewolf, a full blooded vampire, or even part centaur."
She gave him a mock pout, "Not even a hint of dragon's blood runs through your veins?' she asked sounding dramatically disappointed.
'No dragon blood, sorry.'
'Well then, this baby had better be content with being your average, run of the mill, human,' Ami teased but she broke off in mid sentence when her eyes fell on the jade vial.
'Is that the potion?' she asked as she walked towards the desk.
Kunzite nodded, "Yes, but I am not certain that you should take it.'
Ami scowled, "Come on Kun, it can't taste that bad,' she said as her small hand reached to pick up the glass vial.
Kunzite shot out his hand to stop her, 'It's not the taste. I was looking over the notes that the alchemist gave us. A few of the ingredients look very questionable.'
'Questionable how?' Ami asked innocently.
'I am no sure, but I think a few of these plants are used in some of the most toxic poisons on record. If they are mixed right they could negate one another but if mixed another way they could be used to create a lethal draught,' he replied.
Ami rolled her eyes, 'Well you took some and you haven't killed over yet,' she said before reaching to grab the vial again this time Kunzite slapped her hand away.
'I am a guard remember, when I was young part of my training was building an immunity to a lot of deadly poisons so I just in case if I was ever poisoned I could survive; you on the other hand don't not have such an immunity plus you have the baby to worry about.'
'But for it to work we both have to take it don't we?'
'Not necessarily, the entire draught needs to be drunk so I'll finish off the last bit in a few minutes. But I am really beginning to wonder if we have been duped.'
Ami sighed; drawing herself up to Kunzite's side she rested her head on his shoulder, carefully moving his hand to rest on her stomach.
'Until we know otherwise Kunzite just hope for the best. After all we have been through we need a bit of hope.' Ami said as she gently curled her palm to fit inside Kunzite's still lying on her stomach.
At last I was drawn back into present day, or the present dream world that is. Queen Serenity was still sobbing quietly sometimes muttering to herself.
At this point I wanted to slap the hysterical woman. The only thing stopping me from doing so was realizing that I whether Kunzite and myself had intended to or not we had destroyed her beloved kingdom, her subjects, even her daughter was taken away from her.
It has taken me three months to realize an invaluable truth, there is no black, no white, just a lot of gray and depending on how you look at it the light hits the grays to turn them different shades, dark or light, but no white and no black. To Queen Serenity Kunzite and I loved each other just to spite Fate but in our eyes we were so in love with each other that we were blinded by the consequences of our love until it was too late to turn back. Even now, the queen thinks that she has a right to weep and swoon because we strayed from the plan that destiny had laid before us again.
With nothing left to say to Queen Serenity I turned to walk away all the while reliving the tragedy that had been born from our romance.
A very twisted version of Romeo and Juliet, because while everyone else died around us for the sake of our love we remained alive and well. Now at the closing of Act Two we were seriously considering about just saying that the past is the past. But while "Romeo" is willing to walk off the stage this "Juliet" is waiting for her curtain call in the form of a final kiss hopefully laced with bittersweet poison so that she can die. So that she can forget that she ever loved.
Where are those damn daggers when you need them?
Notes: Thank you guys so much for reading, before I start with the official thanks I would like to say that I plan to wrap this fic up within the next four or five chapters, but I am not sure if I should wrap this little fic saga up with just the end of this fic or do a sequel later. Anyway just thought that I would give you guys fair warning. Now on to the thanks...
To Sailor Lune: I tried to sneak a few snippets of their memories into this chapter; I hope that you enjoy them!
To Kaiya: A day earlier but hopefully not falling short in quality. And yeah I can understand, sometimes Fan Fiction Net can be a bit irritating but then again I like posting my stuff here so unless the site really starts to go downhill then I might move to a different site. I could go on but I think that is more than enough site bashing for now. Thanks for reviewing ^_^
Yui4: Again I tried to squeeze as many memories as I could without spoiling the entire plot and I am very flattered by your compliment. I am also glad that you don't think that Ami is out of character, the reason I avoid writing Sailor Moon fics for so long, especially one with a very un-canon couple, was because I was so afraid that I would make someone OOC and people would get mad at me, so you made my day =..