KANKUROU'S GROWTH SPURTS
I recall saying I was gonna wait a while before I posted this but I got bored and frusturated with this other fic I'm trying to post, so I decided to redeem myself for myself by posting this chappie. TY for all y'all's reviews!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!! Lol. Please read and review this one too! I wasn't really sure about it. BTW, I'm having sort of a Kankurou obsession for now, I don't know why, but I do...ha ha. . .
Chapter Four: Of Bricks and Boards
"This is really ... really uncomfortable," Kankurou groaned, pulling down on the ankles of his pants for the millionth time that day.
"What are you talking about?" Temari asked, glaring at him over her shoulder from where she was ordering take-out.
"Guys don't do cut-offs, Temari!" he snapped. "And I don't do elbow sleeves, personally," he added, pulling down on his sleeves.
"Well, get over it," Temari snapped, going back to her phone conversation.
"Hey, Pig-ears," Naruto said, coming out of Gaara's room. "We can help you stunt your growth!"
"Thanks, Naruto, but I don't like coffee," Kankurou said coldly, tugging at his sleeves. "If you made some, give it to Gaara, he chugs that stuff like you would not believe."
"Really?" Naruto looked at Gaara, who shrugged.
"Gotta stay up somehow," he said innocently. "Coffee wasn't on the list, but if you guys made some, I'll have it." He looked around the kitchen, but, to his dismay, there was no substance containing the power to draw even the sternest creature alive in a fit of giddiness.
"So what are you talking about, then?" Kankurou asked, crossing his arms suspiciously.
"Come in here," they said, grabbing his arms and dragging him down the hall to Gaara's room.
"Wait—What're you doing?!" Kankurou shouted, digging his heels into the carpet.
"Kankurou," Naruto said, kicking his feet out so they were literally dragging him away, "our soul purpose in this mission is to help YOU out."
"Why do I get the feeling this could be painful?" Kankurou whimpered as he was dragged into Gaara's room.
Temari sat down on the sofa and picked up the remote, changing the channel. Soon, she became immersed in a soap opera, and was on the tip of her seat, chewing on a pillow in suspense, when she suddenly heard blood-curdling screams.
"WHAT?! WAIT! WHAT'S THAT BRICK FOR?! GAARA, STOP! NARUTO LET GO! TEMARI!"
Slightly amused, Temari abandoned the soap opera and went down the hall, curious as to what Gaara and Naruto would need with a brick. When she opened the door, she suddenly burst out laughing.
Kankurou stood in the middle of the room with a board balanced perfectly on his head, and a large amount of bricks piles neatly on the board. She could see small plates of sand under the board, keeping it balanced, while Naruto, using the Wall-Climbing technique, stood on the ceiling, placing brick after brick on the pile on Kankurou's head.
"What are you doing?" she asked, holding her side.
"Well, we decided—"
"YOU decided," Gaara corrected coldly.
"—That if there were enough bricks between him and the wall, he would stop growing, because there would be nowhere else for him to go," Naruto said, grinning.
"So, how are you planning on making there be no more space?" she asked, not sure if she really wanted an answer to that question.
"We're planning on putting a wall from the board to the ceiling, without an inch to spare," Gaara said plainly. "The powers of growth shall be over- powered."
"Temari, help!" Kankurou sobbed, as brick after brick was added to the pile. "I don't want to be short when I'm old!"
"Well..." Temari cocked her head to one side.
"Careful you don't slouch, Kankurou," Naruto said in a taunting voice. "If you do, you'll probably be stuck that way for the rest of your life."
"Temari," Kankurou sobbed. "I already don't have that much of a neck, and I can feel what I have getting pushed into my rib cage!'
"It'll only improve your pig-like appearance," Naruto assured him, by way of comforting.
"SOMEBODY PUT A STOP TO THE MADNESS, PLEASE!"
That someone was Temari. Half and hour later, all four of them were walking down the streets of Konoha, Temari in lead, with a leash on both Naruto and Gaara, for safety measures. Both were very much annoyed with her, but the true question was whether or not she cared.
"Where are we going?" Gaara asked, scowling at his leash, which was a bright pink.
"To your punishment," she said coldly.
"For what?" Naruto asked.
Temari and Kankurou (who repeatedly massaged his neck, and was wearing his father's clothes again, which, oddly enough, had legs which went at least a foot past his ankles, even though he had always been within five inches of his Father's height, and he had strangely just grown five inches. Snicker, snicker) starred at him. She shook it off. "I've decided on a punishment that will benefit you both, and will give me great pleasure to behold."
"You're not my mom," Naruto howled.
"Yeah!" Gaara snapped. "Mother is proud of me! She says I've learned well!"
Kankurou and Temari exchanged a look. "I'm sure, Gaara, but I'm not," Temari said, stopping in front of a large white building.
"ARE YOU TAKING US TOA SHRINK?!" Naruto shrieked.
"No ... although that's a good idea," Temari said, musing. "Come on, Kan—" She turned. "Kankurou?"
The puppeteer stood halfway down the street, shaking his head, his face blanched. "Ohh, no, you're not taking me in there again, ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
"Well, actually..."
"Don't answer that," Gaara said. "The reactions can be painful."
"Where are we?" Naruto asked.
"Naruto, Gaara," Temari said in an evil-genius voice, "I'd like to introduce you to ... THE GYM."
Chirp, chirp.
"The what?" they both asked.
"DON'T GO IN THERE, GUYS!" Kankurou screamed, running up and grabbing their leashes and yanking them away from Temari, causing them to be dragged on the dirt by their throats.
"Shut up, Kankurou!" Temari snapped, grabbing the leashes back.
"I'M NOT GONNA LET THEM GET TORTURED, TOO!"
"IT WAS JUST YOGA!"
"IT WAS AN ART CRAFTED BY THE DEVIL!" Kankurou shouted.
Five minutes later
Kankurou pouted slightly, crossing his arms, a red leash extending from his neck to Temari's hand.
"Gee, thanks, Kankurou," Naruto snapped, sitting on the floor next to the check-in counter while Temari signed them in.
"Hey, I tried!"
"If you had tried harder, would we be here?" Gaara said coldly, currently trying to cover his own leash with sand to block out the pink.
"...Shut up."
"Come on, guys, we have a private yoga class," Temari said, tugging on the leashes, drawing stares from people as she dragged them across the room.
"Don't ask," all three boys said, crossing their arms while Temari dragged them away.
Ten minutes later
"Um ... excuse me?"
Temari turned from where she was sitting on her yoga mat. Beside her she had her brothers and guest sitting on their mats (which, to Gaara's utmost horror, matched their leashes). "What?" she asked the lady from the check- in counter.
"I'm afraid your yoga teacher is stuck in traffic, and won't be here for another half an hour or so."
"Ok..." Temari took several dangerously deep breaths. "Ok, fine, I'm not gonna let it bother me..."
The three guys looked at her nervously.
"I'm here to relax," she said in a dangerously low voice, "so I'm not gonna let it bother me that the whole world is INCOMPETENT!"
"Um ... hey, Temari?" Kankurou said in a weak voice.
"WHAT?!"
"Er ... what about those whack-o massage things?" he asked, grinning timidly.
"...How did you know about those?"
"I saw them when I was dragging my half-dead corpse across the building to the changing rooms."
"Hmm...Ok, then. But we're still doing yoga."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"It's not that difficult, Kankurou, remember?" Naruto asked mockingly.
But Kankurou didn't hear him. He was sitting in a darkened corner of the room, moping around in misery.
"I swear he's adopted," Gaara muttered.
(A/N: This chappie was kind of weird...REVIEW! The whole "adopted" thing wasn't made up by me, a reviewer ( KageNoKatana) let me use it.She gets da credit for the insanity! muhahahahahahahahahahahaaaa. yep. Hope you enjoyed this; the next one is gonna be the last one. Sowwy! I have alot more stuff coming out, tho! . hope you like them too!)