Chapter 3: Past Remembrances
A week later Hermione was seated beside Professor Snape at the High Table; it was still summer, so they had a while before they had to reveal the truth to the other staff members, with the exception of Headmistress McGonagall. The great hall was eerily quiet without students, and silently Hermione remembered all the table conversations she'd had with Harry and Ron, all the jokes, all the stupid arguments...
What she wouldn't give for things to be that carefree again.
"Something the matter, Hermione?" said the voice to her left. She glanced up at Severus, "No sir, I was just...I was remembering something from a long time ago. But it doesn't matter anymore." Severus said nothing and continued to eat, although silently he wondered what was making her this depressed.
Lucius Malfoy had been by to see them the day after the wedding, which had been small and informal, and he was almost fuming at Snape when he showed up. "What do you care Lucius?" Severus had replied smoothly. "I care, Severus, because that Mudblood is not supposed to have her brother! You're just doing this so she can keep him!" "And what if I'm not?" he quipped. "Why else would you marry a Mudblood Severus? I know you better than that. You can't fool me." "Are you certain?" asked Severus with a nasty smile. Malfoy's eyes had narrowed upon him with pent-up rage, "Or perhaps you're doing it for the other advantages that come with the job. Good evening Severus."
And with that, Malfoy had disappeared into the fireplace, not to be seen since then. Severus smiled inwardly; the little bastard was outplayed for once, and no amount of money could undo what had been done. But Severus was lying, of course, about doing it for any other reason. He really did want Granger to keep her brother. It reminded him vaguely of past events, only this time he wanted things to turn out the way they should have.
He was snapped from his stupor by a pair of brown eyes observing him from over the table. Adrian was hidden behind the table, watching Severus and Hermione, and finally he said, "What are you thinking about?" Severus blinked, banishing the memory of Lucius Malfoy, "Nothing in particular. What are you thinking about?" Adrian grinned, "Nothing in particular." Silently Severus added the boy to the short list of smartasses he had already compiled, and watched as the scruffy youth walked all the way around the table and finally sat down next to Hermione.
Helping himself to steak-and-kidney pie, Adrian asked, "Hermione, when does school start?" "In three weeks," she replied, looking down at him with a slight smile, "but of course it doesn't start for you until next year." "That's unfair!" said Adrian, "I want to learn magic! Can't I learn now? What's wrong with now?" "You're not old enough Adrian," she replied, "not until next year. That's just how it is. I'm sorry." He made a face at her, "Oh fine." "Actually," interrupted Severus, thinking deeply, "he might be able to enroll early."
Hermione and Adrian turned to look at him, "What?" asked Hermione. "He could enroll a year earlier," clarified Severus, "if he passes the Placement Test. If he can do that then he'll be qualified to enter this year instead of next year." Hermione frowned a bit, "Er..." "Oh that'd be cool!" said Adrian, "Can I try it?" Hermione looked back at him, "I...I don't...yes I suppose so," she finished finally. "YAY!" shouted Adrian, and McGonagall turned to give him a slightly reproachful look, although inwardly she was smiling.
"I'll start studying right now!" cried Adrian, grabbing a roll and practically leaping out of his seat. "Adrian, let's finish dinner first, alright?" asked Hermione. He looked a little downcast, "All right." He went back to eating hurriedly, and Hermione turned to Severus, "Why did you tell him that?" she muttered. "Hermione, has it occurred to you that if both of us are teaching here at Hogwarts, then we'll have no way to make sure Adrian is all right?" said Severus softly. She blinked, "Yes it had, but I didn't know what we would do about i-" "Exactly," he replied, "there really isn't anything you can do about it. But if he's a student here then both of us can keep a close watch over him."
Hermione nodded, "I see. Well I suppose I'd better help him study then. He's got a lot to learn. When does the Placement Exam occur?" "Usually a week before start-of-term," he said, "it's here, in the great hall." "Why wasn't I told about this when I entered?" she asked. "Because it's only been in existence for about five years," he said smoothly. "Oh. Well...okay."
Snape's family manor was dark, gorgeous, and also towering; it was leviathan in size. Severus showed Hermione and Adrian to the library, whereupon Hermione almost passed out; thousands and thousands of books, ranging from Magical Weather Almanacs to Alchemy Today Magazines were everywhere. "Do you think you'll be able to obtain what you need from here?" asked Severus simply, knowing exactly what the answer would be. Hermione nodded slowly, eyes wide with shock, clearly still not entirely conscious. 'Leave it to Granger to get aroused over academics,' he thought with a snort.
"Cool!" said Adrian loudly, climbing up one of the ladders leaning against the bookcases. "Adrian, come down from there! You might be hurt!" said Hermione. "He can't fall," said Severus from behind her, "they're all charmed. Even if he were to fall the area has a cushioning charm on it. It's impossible." "Oh," said Hermione, and somewhere in her own mind she marked him for that bit of genius. "This is cool Hermione!" cried Adrian, "Look at all the books!"
"Adrian, you might want to come down now; I've got the books we need," she said, clutching several dusty volumes. "Oh, okay," he replied, leaping down the rungs of the ladder two at a time.
The two of them sat down in squashy armchairs in front of a coffee table and Hermione cracked open Standard Book of Spells Grade 1, "Here we are," she said. She noticed Severus leaving, "Prof-er, Severus, are you leaving?" "Just for a while," he replied sleekly, "I'll be back later." The door shut and Adrian said, "What's the first thing I'm learning?" almost bursting with excitement.
Severus entered the library to find that Adrian had disappeared; earlier he had seen him pass by, clutching his books, and apparently going to his room. Hermione was still in the armchair, and apparently she had fallen asleep, for she was slumped low, eyes closed, hair messily askew.
Severus sat down in the armchair just occupied by Adrian and was about to pick up one of the books on the table when he heard, "No." Severus turned, "They're my books Miss Granger and if I want to I'll-" "Please no," groaned Hermione, "not them. They didn't do anything to you. Leave them alone. They're just Muggles. No please, no, don't, not that, anything but that...!" Severus froze; she was having a nightmare, and silently he suspected it was about her parents, who had been killed by Voldemort three years ago.
"Please, don't do it! You sonofabitch! Leave them alone! No no no NO NO!" Severus leapt to his feet and shook her shoulders, "Hermione...Hermione wake up. Wake up." Her head stopped lolling, "What?" "You were having a nightmare," he said quietly. She looked up at him and winced; she was embarrassed, and looked away quickly, "Oh." She rubbed her arms as if she were freezing cold, and refused to meet his gaze for a minute. He sat down, and after a while asked, "How long have you been having the nightmares?"
"A while," she mumbled, staring at a spot on the floor. "Every night?" "Usually. It's either about...about mum and dad or Dumbledore. One or the other." Severus felt as if he had just swallowed ice, "I see." "I really hate it," she muttered, "the fact that I can't stop dreaming about something that happened three years ago. Adrian's lucky. He didn't see them when they were killed. If he did...he'd probably be in St. Mungo's. Wouldn't be able to handle it. He's squeamish that way."
Severus felt a jab of pain at remembering the Grangers; he had met them once at Grimmauld Place shortly after the first attack on them. They were good people; they were just harmless Muggles. "Hermione...if you need something to help you sleep..." "No, no, not to help me sleep," she said softly, "to stop dreaming. I hate dreaming. I used to dream about great things, like me working at Hogwarts or having a family or going somewhere with mum and dad. But now all I see are the...the stares." Severus shut his eyes for a minute; the stares she spoke of were those of the Killing Curse. The blank eyes. The open mouths. The horrified stares of death.
"If you need something to stop the dreaming," he said, "I can do that. If ever you need it-" "I need it," she interrupted, "every night for the rest of my life. I need it." Somewhere deep down a part of Severus's heart broke at hearing that; he was the same way. "Alright," he said, standing up, "I'll make some for tonight. Just don't fall asleep until then." "I won't," she replied, rubbing her head and standing up, "I'll go check on Adrian or something. I shouldn't be by myself right now. Thank you, sir."
She left the library and went down the hall to visit Adrian, and Severus swept off to the bowels of the manor to begin work on a Dreamless Sleeping Draught.
Severus and Hermione slept in the same bed because, after the first night, when Lucius Malfoy had appeared in the fireplace, they both realized that if he caught them sleeping in separate rooms then he'd tell the Ministry and Adrian would be confiscated.
At first this was an uneasy nighttime ritual, especially as occasionally Hermione had to wake him to snap at him for stealing all the covers. But eventually they got used to it and didn't bother sleeping on the very edges of the bed, trying to keep from interfering in each other's personal space. They just flopped down and went to sleep. It was that easy. Tonight, however, Hermione drank her Dreamless Sleeping Draught, and by the time she had finished drinking it she was already falling onto the bed. Severus caught the vial and placed it on the bedside table. She wouldn't wake up for the next several hours.
He lay down on his side of the bed and turned off the lights with a snap of his fingers; the candles put themselves out. He was just falling off to sleep, the magical clock reading twelve, when he heard a whimpering. He sat up. It couldn't be Hermione. She was fast asleep from the Draught. It was coming from Adrian's room.
He leapt to his feet and slipped out of the room, careful to be quiet, and knocked on Adrian's door a minute later, "Adrian?" "Help help!" cried the boy, muffled through the door. Severus bashed it open, wand ready, and found that the boy was completely alone, clutching his covers in fear. He looked from side to side; no, nobody was there. "What's the matter?" he said. "I had a...a nightmare," said Adrian, "I saw You-Know- Who."
Silently Severus wondered how many nightmares Voldemort had caused young children to have, "Did you now? Well you know just as well as I that he's dead. It's all right." "I know, but it was scary," said Adrian, trembling a bit. Severus sat down on the foot of his bed, "You want to tell me about it?" Adrian nodded, "Well...f-first, I was in this circular room, and it had all these doors and torches. I went through the first door, and it lead to another room with this type of platform, and a doorway with a veil. The veil kept calling me forward, like it wanted me to walk through it, but I wouldn't. I was too afraid."
Severus froze; that sounded just like how Black had died. Falling through some sort of a veil. Severus was yet to see it. But it was in the Department of Mysteries; he knew that much. He swallowed silently as Adrian continued, "And then...I...I found this mirror. And when I looked in it, I saw mum and dad and Hermione, but then I heard this cold laughter. I turned around...and...and there he was!" Severus thought on this; he didn't know much about the mirror part, but as for Voldemort... "What did he look like?" he asked.
Adrian gulped, "He was tall, with red eyes, and slits for nostrils. And very white. Real white. Whiter than anything. And really long fingers, like white spiders. And he had this high cold laugh that made me feel horrible..."
Severus felt as if someone had just plunged his head into a cauldron of freezing cold water, "Have you ever seen the Dar-, er, You-Know-Who before, Adrian?" "Oh no, no Severus, Hermione won't let me look in the books about him," said Adrian, shaking his head frantically.
So the boy had never seen the Dark Lord, but somehow he'd given him a first class description of what he looked like. Something was wrong here. "Adrian, are you all right sleeping in here by yourself?" he asked. Adrian shrugged, "Yeah. Now that I'm awake...I feel better." "Okay," said Severus, "then you'll be able to go back to sleep?" "I think so," mumbled Adrian, still looking a little afraid. Severus picked up on his false tone, "How about I stay in here until you fall asleep?" Adrian looked up, "Okay, that sounds all right."
Severus got up from the bed and sat down in the corner of the room by the door, said, "Goodnight, Adrian." Adrian smiled, "Goodnight Severus." He rolled over and turned off the light, and the room was bathed in darkness. For about twenty minutes, Adrian couldn't fall asleep, but finally, mercifully, Severus heard the child's snores. He waited a few more minutes, making sure that he was asleep, but unfortunately he couldn't muster the energy to get up; he too was asleep within minutes.
A week later Hermione was seated beside Professor Snape at the High Table; it was still summer, so they had a while before they had to reveal the truth to the other staff members, with the exception of Headmistress McGonagall. The great hall was eerily quiet without students, and silently Hermione remembered all the table conversations she'd had with Harry and Ron, all the jokes, all the stupid arguments...
What she wouldn't give for things to be that carefree again.
"Something the matter, Hermione?" said the voice to her left. She glanced up at Severus, "No sir, I was just...I was remembering something from a long time ago. But it doesn't matter anymore." Severus said nothing and continued to eat, although silently he wondered what was making her this depressed.
Lucius Malfoy had been by to see them the day after the wedding, which had been small and informal, and he was almost fuming at Snape when he showed up. "What do you care Lucius?" Severus had replied smoothly. "I care, Severus, because that Mudblood is not supposed to have her brother! You're just doing this so she can keep him!" "And what if I'm not?" he quipped. "Why else would you marry a Mudblood Severus? I know you better than that. You can't fool me." "Are you certain?" asked Severus with a nasty smile. Malfoy's eyes had narrowed upon him with pent-up rage, "Or perhaps you're doing it for the other advantages that come with the job. Good evening Severus."
And with that, Malfoy had disappeared into the fireplace, not to be seen since then. Severus smiled inwardly; the little bastard was outplayed for once, and no amount of money could undo what had been done. But Severus was lying, of course, about doing it for any other reason. He really did want Granger to keep her brother. It reminded him vaguely of past events, only this time he wanted things to turn out the way they should have.
He was snapped from his stupor by a pair of brown eyes observing him from over the table. Adrian was hidden behind the table, watching Severus and Hermione, and finally he said, "What are you thinking about?" Severus blinked, banishing the memory of Lucius Malfoy, "Nothing in particular. What are you thinking about?" Adrian grinned, "Nothing in particular." Silently Severus added the boy to the short list of smartasses he had already compiled, and watched as the scruffy youth walked all the way around the table and finally sat down next to Hermione.
Helping himself to steak-and-kidney pie, Adrian asked, "Hermione, when does school start?" "In three weeks," she replied, looking down at him with a slight smile, "but of course it doesn't start for you until next year." "That's unfair!" said Adrian, "I want to learn magic! Can't I learn now? What's wrong with now?" "You're not old enough Adrian," she replied, "not until next year. That's just how it is. I'm sorry." He made a face at her, "Oh fine." "Actually," interrupted Severus, thinking deeply, "he might be able to enroll early."
Hermione and Adrian turned to look at him, "What?" asked Hermione. "He could enroll a year earlier," clarified Severus, "if he passes the Placement Test. If he can do that then he'll be qualified to enter this year instead of next year." Hermione frowned a bit, "Er..." "Oh that'd be cool!" said Adrian, "Can I try it?" Hermione looked back at him, "I...I don't...yes I suppose so," she finished finally. "YAY!" shouted Adrian, and McGonagall turned to give him a slightly reproachful look, although inwardly she was smiling.
"I'll start studying right now!" cried Adrian, grabbing a roll and practically leaping out of his seat. "Adrian, let's finish dinner first, alright?" asked Hermione. He looked a little downcast, "All right." He went back to eating hurriedly, and Hermione turned to Severus, "Why did you tell him that?" she muttered. "Hermione, has it occurred to you that if both of us are teaching here at Hogwarts, then we'll have no way to make sure Adrian is all right?" said Severus softly. She blinked, "Yes it had, but I didn't know what we would do about i-" "Exactly," he replied, "there really isn't anything you can do about it. But if he's a student here then both of us can keep a close watch over him."
Hermione nodded, "I see. Well I suppose I'd better help him study then. He's got a lot to learn. When does the Placement Exam occur?" "Usually a week before start-of-term," he said, "it's here, in the great hall." "Why wasn't I told about this when I entered?" she asked. "Because it's only been in existence for about five years," he said smoothly. "Oh. Well...okay."
Snape's family manor was dark, gorgeous, and also towering; it was leviathan in size. Severus showed Hermione and Adrian to the library, whereupon Hermione almost passed out; thousands and thousands of books, ranging from Magical Weather Almanacs to Alchemy Today Magazines were everywhere. "Do you think you'll be able to obtain what you need from here?" asked Severus simply, knowing exactly what the answer would be. Hermione nodded slowly, eyes wide with shock, clearly still not entirely conscious. 'Leave it to Granger to get aroused over academics,' he thought with a snort.
"Cool!" said Adrian loudly, climbing up one of the ladders leaning against the bookcases. "Adrian, come down from there! You might be hurt!" said Hermione. "He can't fall," said Severus from behind her, "they're all charmed. Even if he were to fall the area has a cushioning charm on it. It's impossible." "Oh," said Hermione, and somewhere in her own mind she marked him for that bit of genius. "This is cool Hermione!" cried Adrian, "Look at all the books!"
"Adrian, you might want to come down now; I've got the books we need," she said, clutching several dusty volumes. "Oh, okay," he replied, leaping down the rungs of the ladder two at a time.
The two of them sat down in squashy armchairs in front of a coffee table and Hermione cracked open Standard Book of Spells Grade 1, "Here we are," she said. She noticed Severus leaving, "Prof-er, Severus, are you leaving?" "Just for a while," he replied sleekly, "I'll be back later." The door shut and Adrian said, "What's the first thing I'm learning?" almost bursting with excitement.
Severus entered the library to find that Adrian had disappeared; earlier he had seen him pass by, clutching his books, and apparently going to his room. Hermione was still in the armchair, and apparently she had fallen asleep, for she was slumped low, eyes closed, hair messily askew.
Severus sat down in the armchair just occupied by Adrian and was about to pick up one of the books on the table when he heard, "No." Severus turned, "They're my books Miss Granger and if I want to I'll-" "Please no," groaned Hermione, "not them. They didn't do anything to you. Leave them alone. They're just Muggles. No please, no, don't, not that, anything but that...!" Severus froze; she was having a nightmare, and silently he suspected it was about her parents, who had been killed by Voldemort three years ago.
"Please, don't do it! You sonofabitch! Leave them alone! No no no NO NO!" Severus leapt to his feet and shook her shoulders, "Hermione...Hermione wake up. Wake up." Her head stopped lolling, "What?" "You were having a nightmare," he said quietly. She looked up at him and winced; she was embarrassed, and looked away quickly, "Oh." She rubbed her arms as if she were freezing cold, and refused to meet his gaze for a minute. He sat down, and after a while asked, "How long have you been having the nightmares?"
"A while," she mumbled, staring at a spot on the floor. "Every night?" "Usually. It's either about...about mum and dad or Dumbledore. One or the other." Severus felt as if he had just swallowed ice, "I see." "I really hate it," she muttered, "the fact that I can't stop dreaming about something that happened three years ago. Adrian's lucky. He didn't see them when they were killed. If he did...he'd probably be in St. Mungo's. Wouldn't be able to handle it. He's squeamish that way."
Severus felt a jab of pain at remembering the Grangers; he had met them once at Grimmauld Place shortly after the first attack on them. They were good people; they were just harmless Muggles. "Hermione...if you need something to help you sleep..." "No, no, not to help me sleep," she said softly, "to stop dreaming. I hate dreaming. I used to dream about great things, like me working at Hogwarts or having a family or going somewhere with mum and dad. But now all I see are the...the stares." Severus shut his eyes for a minute; the stares she spoke of were those of the Killing Curse. The blank eyes. The open mouths. The horrified stares of death.
"If you need something to stop the dreaming," he said, "I can do that. If ever you need it-" "I need it," she interrupted, "every night for the rest of my life. I need it." Somewhere deep down a part of Severus's heart broke at hearing that; he was the same way. "Alright," he said, standing up, "I'll make some for tonight. Just don't fall asleep until then." "I won't," she replied, rubbing her head and standing up, "I'll go check on Adrian or something. I shouldn't be by myself right now. Thank you, sir."
She left the library and went down the hall to visit Adrian, and Severus swept off to the bowels of the manor to begin work on a Dreamless Sleeping Draught.
Severus and Hermione slept in the same bed because, after the first night, when Lucius Malfoy had appeared in the fireplace, they both realized that if he caught them sleeping in separate rooms then he'd tell the Ministry and Adrian would be confiscated.
At first this was an uneasy nighttime ritual, especially as occasionally Hermione had to wake him to snap at him for stealing all the covers. But eventually they got used to it and didn't bother sleeping on the very edges of the bed, trying to keep from interfering in each other's personal space. They just flopped down and went to sleep. It was that easy. Tonight, however, Hermione drank her Dreamless Sleeping Draught, and by the time she had finished drinking it she was already falling onto the bed. Severus caught the vial and placed it on the bedside table. She wouldn't wake up for the next several hours.
He lay down on his side of the bed and turned off the lights with a snap of his fingers; the candles put themselves out. He was just falling off to sleep, the magical clock reading twelve, when he heard a whimpering. He sat up. It couldn't be Hermione. She was fast asleep from the Draught. It was coming from Adrian's room.
He leapt to his feet and slipped out of the room, careful to be quiet, and knocked on Adrian's door a minute later, "Adrian?" "Help help!" cried the boy, muffled through the door. Severus bashed it open, wand ready, and found that the boy was completely alone, clutching his covers in fear. He looked from side to side; no, nobody was there. "What's the matter?" he said. "I had a...a nightmare," said Adrian, "I saw You-Know- Who."
Silently Severus wondered how many nightmares Voldemort had caused young children to have, "Did you now? Well you know just as well as I that he's dead. It's all right." "I know, but it was scary," said Adrian, trembling a bit. Severus sat down on the foot of his bed, "You want to tell me about it?" Adrian nodded, "Well...f-first, I was in this circular room, and it had all these doors and torches. I went through the first door, and it lead to another room with this type of platform, and a doorway with a veil. The veil kept calling me forward, like it wanted me to walk through it, but I wouldn't. I was too afraid."
Severus froze; that sounded just like how Black had died. Falling through some sort of a veil. Severus was yet to see it. But it was in the Department of Mysteries; he knew that much. He swallowed silently as Adrian continued, "And then...I...I found this mirror. And when I looked in it, I saw mum and dad and Hermione, but then I heard this cold laughter. I turned around...and...and there he was!" Severus thought on this; he didn't know much about the mirror part, but as for Voldemort... "What did he look like?" he asked.
Adrian gulped, "He was tall, with red eyes, and slits for nostrils. And very white. Real white. Whiter than anything. And really long fingers, like white spiders. And he had this high cold laugh that made me feel horrible..."
Severus felt as if someone had just plunged his head into a cauldron of freezing cold water, "Have you ever seen the Dar-, er, You-Know-Who before, Adrian?" "Oh no, no Severus, Hermione won't let me look in the books about him," said Adrian, shaking his head frantically.
So the boy had never seen the Dark Lord, but somehow he'd given him a first class description of what he looked like. Something was wrong here. "Adrian, are you all right sleeping in here by yourself?" he asked. Adrian shrugged, "Yeah. Now that I'm awake...I feel better." "Okay," said Severus, "then you'll be able to go back to sleep?" "I think so," mumbled Adrian, still looking a little afraid. Severus picked up on his false tone, "How about I stay in here until you fall asleep?" Adrian looked up, "Okay, that sounds all right."
Severus got up from the bed and sat down in the corner of the room by the door, said, "Goodnight, Adrian." Adrian smiled, "Goodnight Severus." He rolled over and turned off the light, and the room was bathed in darkness. For about twenty minutes, Adrian couldn't fall asleep, but finally, mercifully, Severus heard the child's snores. He waited a few more minutes, making sure that he was asleep, but unfortunately he couldn't muster the energy to get up; he too was asleep within minutes.