Lord of the Rings

Tales From Inside the Fellowship

The company leaves the land of Lothlorien after receiving pretty gifts from Galadriel. Merry and Pippin receive daggers, Legolas gets a new bow, Boromir……well he just doesn't want anything, Aragorn gets a blessing, Frodo is given a star inside a glass, Sam receives rope and a seed, and Gimli gets a wad of elf hair. What lovely presents. The company rows their way up the Anduin river and make camp on a bank located several feet before an enormous waterfall.

Aragorn- "We cross the river at nightfall, hide the boats, and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north right after we've all snacked a bit."

Gimli- "Oh yes?"

Aragorn- "Yes."

Gimli- "Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? It's an impassible labyrinth of razor sharp rocks. And after that, it gets even better!"

Pippin- "Oooo! What's next!"

Gimli- "Festering, stinky marshlands as far as the eye can see."

Aragorn- "Yep that's where we're going. I suggest you take a nap, Master Dwarf."

Legolas- (whispers to Aragorn) "I say we all leave while he's sleeping. We should leave right now."

Aragorn- "No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for the cover of darkness."

Legolas- "It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near. I can feel it."

Sam comes up behind Legolas and startles him. Legolas nods at Aragorn and looks back at the bumbling hobbit.

Merry- "Hey where's Frodo?"

Aragorn- "Sam, I thought you were watching him last."

Legolas- "He's always watching him. Creepy really."

Sam- "Well I wasn't this time, okay?"

A very hot and angsty Frodo wanders through the woods and comes across Boromir gathering firewood.

Boromir- "None of us should wander alone. You least of all. So much depends on you. Frodo? I know why you seek solitude. You suffer. I see it day by day. The way Gimli bites his nails, Sam's constant chatter about which daffodils to plant next spring, Aragorn's bragging and boasting about how he's a king and I'm not, Legolas's daily 'we are all going to die' premonitions, it's enough to drive anyone mad, Frodo. But you must see. There are other ways. Other paths that we might take."

Frodo- "You want the ring for yourself."

Boromir- "Well, yes. Yes I do. It's my father actually. He wants it and I'm supposed to bring it back to him."

Frodo- "It must be destroyed."

Boromir- "I only ask for the strength to defend my people!"

Boromir throws down the firewood during his hissy fit.

Frodo- "You ask for the largest deadliest weapon on Middle Earth, Boromir!"

Boromir- "If you would but lend me the ring. We could have some sort of a joint custody over it. I could take it on weekends perhaps and possibly the summer."

Frodo- "No."

Boromir- "Just weekends, then?"

Frodo- "No!"

Boromir lunges at Frodo and they both fight. Frodo puts on the ring, goes invisible and runs away. Boromir sobs and beats himself up for pissing Frodo off.

Boromir- There goes my chance. Wait until father finds out.

Frodo runs up to the top of what seems to be an old fortress and takes the ring off.

Aragorn- "Frodo?"

Frodo- "Stay away!"

Aragorn- "I swore to protect you."

Frodo- "Can you protect me from yourself? Would you destroy it?"

Aragorn- "Honestly, Frodo, that is one of the ugliest rings I have ever seen. Mine is gorgeous. So, yes I could destroy it. And as for protecting you from myself, I swear that I took a bath this morning and I really don't smell all that bad now."

Frodo- "I know. You smell a bit like strawberries."

Aragorn- "Really? You noticed? I picked up a new fragrance in Lothlorien. Boy, those elves really are something."

Frodo- "Look after the others. Especially Sam. He's not really… together. I left a list of instructions on how to properly take care of him back at the camp."

Aragorn- "I know. You're so organized for a hobbit."

Aragorn looks and sees that Frodo's sword is glowing blue. He thinks about taking it because kings like pretty things, but he decides to defend Frodo from the some 5,000 orcs and Uruk Hai that are approaching the fortress.

Aragorn- "Run, Frodo! Run!"