Chapter 10: Family Frustrations
The snow was melting from the front lawn of Hogwarts. "Jesus," muttered Hermione, "where has the year gone?" It was already April, and Adrian, thankfully, was excelling at an enormous rate in school. The other students whom had once begrudged him because of his age were now begrudging him because of his knowledge, and they no longer criticized him. And he took it with all grace and understanding; much more so than Hermione would have had it been her in that position.
She remained concerned, however, when one day she caught Adrian and his friends in the library reading some books on the Dark Arts. She ordered them out of the library and asked Madam Pince to alert her should it happen again. She was growing more and more worried.
Her concern grew even more when Adrian started talking back to her. He had done so in the past, but not to this extent; whenever he visited her in her office, which was becoming rarer and rarer now, he rolled his eyes frequently or muttered things beneath his breath. Finally she got fed up with it, "Adrian, what the hell is the matter with you?" He looked up, "Nothing," he lied. "Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid," she snapped, glaring at him. He said nothing, and finally she spoke, "If you don't like hanging around with me anymore then tell me. I can't stand a liar."
His eyes met hers, and she noticed now that they had darkened considerably, "I'm not a liar." "Well I can't help but notice how sarcastic and overbearing you've become," she snarled, "now that you have your little Slytherin friends. Let me tell you something right now, Adrian, because even though you already know this, I'm saying it anyway for good measure; there's not a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn't in Slytherin. You should keep that in mind when you're plotting with your friends. Don't forget who your real enemies are." "Don't worry, I won't," he said, shooting daggers at her.
She felt exasperated inside but didn't let it show, "Voldemort is after you, Adrian. Severus and I never bothered to tell you because we didn't want you to worry, but it looks like now is as good a time as any to tell you. He's been after you for the past year, and we've been trying to keep you safe." Adrian winced at the sound of Voldemort's name, but his eyes grew wide when she told him this, "Why didn't you tell me before?" "Because you're eleven years old, Adrian, and now's not a good time for you to deal with that, is it? You're an eleven year old boy in third year Adrian; not first, but third, and you're in Slytherin. I don't like this situation one bit, and the last thing you need to worry about is whether or not Voldemort is waiting in the shadows somewhere."
He bared his teeth with anger, "You mean...you didn't tell me...because you think...that I'm...that I'm too young? You and Harry and Ron went after the bloody Sorcerer's Stone your first year and you're telling me off?!" "I'm not telling you off Adrian I'm-" "SHUT UP!" he shouted, and Hermione fell silent in surprise. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'm so tired of you always acting like I'm just a stupid little child who doesn't know any better! Well you know what, I know the Dark Lord is dangerous, okay?! I know all of that already! And I do remember mum and dad, whether you think I do or not, so stop trying to bring it up! I'm not a kid anymore so shut up and leave me alone!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
Hermione didn't protest when he ran out of the office, shaking with rage and disappointment, and Hermione could only sit there, stunned. Was he telling the truth? Had she really been treating him like a child this whole time? She always thought that she'd treated him fairly but...she'd never meant offense. But what he'd said about treating him like a kid... 'You were never a sister to him Hermione,' said her brain, 'you were always trying to be like your mother, trying to help him, talking down to him. You should have been a sister.'
"What happened?" said a voice. She didn't need to look to know it was Severus. She couldn't manage to say anything. He said, "Adrian just ran past me; he didn't say anything, but I could tell he was upset."
When Hermione remained motionless at her desk, staring into space, Severus knew something was incredibly wrong, and he said, "...Hermione?" Suddenly she let out a choked sob and covered her mouth, and hot tears of anger and sadness poured down her cheeks. Severus didn't say anything; he merely shut the door to prevent any unwary students from walking in and then walked around her desk until he stood beside her, and turned her chair so it faced him.
He knelt down to her level and put his hands on her shoulders, which wracked with sobs, "Hermione...what happened?" She mumbled something incoherent, then fell forward into his shoulders, sobbing into his neck words that he could not quite understand. Knowing that he wouldn't get anything out of her just yet, he held her steadily as he sat down, and here and there she was mumble something like, "Sister," and "Mother." She was still too inaudible for him to know what she meant.
Finally, after about ten minutes of this, he said, "Come on now, deep breaths. That's right. Take deep breaths, it's all right. Relax." He brushed a few strands of flyaway hair from her face, which was now red and covered in tears, and said, "You think you can tell me what happened?" She nodded slowly, hiccupping a bit, then breathed deeper, "I...I think so." She inhaled a few more times, and Severus silently wanted to hit Adrian for making her so upset, but he said nothing as she began.
"Adrian...Adrian was visiting just now, and I got tired of him giving me lip, so I told him off. I told him that Voldemort was after him, and that he should watch himself unless he wanted to get killed. Well he...he told me...he told me he was tired of me treating him like a little kid. He told me to leave him alone. And after he left, I...I realized that he was right. I've been treating him like a child, like he's my child or something, not like a sister. I should have been a sister to him, but I never was. Not after mum and dad died. I started treating him like he was my own, because I was afraid. But I never realized that it hurt his feelings that I never trusted him to...to take care of himself. I screwed up."
He could see that she was about to start crying again, and he tried to stem the urge, "Hermione, crying won't help anything. Come on now, stop; if anything I should probably get Adrian so you two can discuss this..." "No, no, don't do that, we should just leave him alone for a while," she said, wiping away a few tears, "I know. Stuff like this has happened before; he needs to be by himself so he can think." "Come to think of it, so do you," he added dryly, helping her up.
She smiled, cheeks still puffy, "Thank you Severus." "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" he asked. She smiled wider, "No, thank you. Although I think I should have some tea or something to calm my nerves. I do need to think for a while, you're right. That'll help, I hope." He nodded as she added, "And I think I'm done grading papers for tonight. I think an early retire is in line." She let out an exasperated laugh, "I should probably just go to bed."
He escorted her down to their chambers, and she plopped down on the sofa, feeling exhausted. He snapped his fingers and a tray of tea and cups appeared on the coffee table. For a few minutes, Hermione drank her tea in silence, then finally she cleared her throat, "I'm so exhausted and worried Severus. I hate this." He sat down beside her, "Why is that?" he asked, although he knew the answer. "Adrian," she replied sullenly, "as usual. Something in his eyes this evening; there was something in his eyes that I can't explain, but I was frightened by it. He's involved in things that I'm afraid of, I know he is; he never says it, but I know the truth. I can always tell."
Severus put an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him, worry on her face. "I might try talking to him," he said softly, "see if he won't discuss this with someone else." Silently he suspected that something deeper than he knew was going on, and while he promised Hermione that he would talk to Adrian, he also promised himself that he would pay Lucius Malfoy a visit tomorrow morning.
The snow was melting from the front lawn of Hogwarts. "Jesus," muttered Hermione, "where has the year gone?" It was already April, and Adrian, thankfully, was excelling at an enormous rate in school. The other students whom had once begrudged him because of his age were now begrudging him because of his knowledge, and they no longer criticized him. And he took it with all grace and understanding; much more so than Hermione would have had it been her in that position.
She remained concerned, however, when one day she caught Adrian and his friends in the library reading some books on the Dark Arts. She ordered them out of the library and asked Madam Pince to alert her should it happen again. She was growing more and more worried.
Her concern grew even more when Adrian started talking back to her. He had done so in the past, but not to this extent; whenever he visited her in her office, which was becoming rarer and rarer now, he rolled his eyes frequently or muttered things beneath his breath. Finally she got fed up with it, "Adrian, what the hell is the matter with you?" He looked up, "Nothing," he lied. "Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid," she snapped, glaring at him. He said nothing, and finally she spoke, "If you don't like hanging around with me anymore then tell me. I can't stand a liar."
His eyes met hers, and she noticed now that they had darkened considerably, "I'm not a liar." "Well I can't help but notice how sarcastic and overbearing you've become," she snarled, "now that you have your little Slytherin friends. Let me tell you something right now, Adrian, because even though you already know this, I'm saying it anyway for good measure; there's not a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn't in Slytherin. You should keep that in mind when you're plotting with your friends. Don't forget who your real enemies are." "Don't worry, I won't," he said, shooting daggers at her.
She felt exasperated inside but didn't let it show, "Voldemort is after you, Adrian. Severus and I never bothered to tell you because we didn't want you to worry, but it looks like now is as good a time as any to tell you. He's been after you for the past year, and we've been trying to keep you safe." Adrian winced at the sound of Voldemort's name, but his eyes grew wide when she told him this, "Why didn't you tell me before?" "Because you're eleven years old, Adrian, and now's not a good time for you to deal with that, is it? You're an eleven year old boy in third year Adrian; not first, but third, and you're in Slytherin. I don't like this situation one bit, and the last thing you need to worry about is whether or not Voldemort is waiting in the shadows somewhere."
He bared his teeth with anger, "You mean...you didn't tell me...because you think...that I'm...that I'm too young? You and Harry and Ron went after the bloody Sorcerer's Stone your first year and you're telling me off?!" "I'm not telling you off Adrian I'm-" "SHUT UP!" he shouted, and Hermione fell silent in surprise. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'm so tired of you always acting like I'm just a stupid little child who doesn't know any better! Well you know what, I know the Dark Lord is dangerous, okay?! I know all of that already! And I do remember mum and dad, whether you think I do or not, so stop trying to bring it up! I'm not a kid anymore so shut up and leave me alone!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
Hermione didn't protest when he ran out of the office, shaking with rage and disappointment, and Hermione could only sit there, stunned. Was he telling the truth? Had she really been treating him like a child this whole time? She always thought that she'd treated him fairly but...she'd never meant offense. But what he'd said about treating him like a kid... 'You were never a sister to him Hermione,' said her brain, 'you were always trying to be like your mother, trying to help him, talking down to him. You should have been a sister.'
"What happened?" said a voice. She didn't need to look to know it was Severus. She couldn't manage to say anything. He said, "Adrian just ran past me; he didn't say anything, but I could tell he was upset."
When Hermione remained motionless at her desk, staring into space, Severus knew something was incredibly wrong, and he said, "...Hermione?" Suddenly she let out a choked sob and covered her mouth, and hot tears of anger and sadness poured down her cheeks. Severus didn't say anything; he merely shut the door to prevent any unwary students from walking in and then walked around her desk until he stood beside her, and turned her chair so it faced him.
He knelt down to her level and put his hands on her shoulders, which wracked with sobs, "Hermione...what happened?" She mumbled something incoherent, then fell forward into his shoulders, sobbing into his neck words that he could not quite understand. Knowing that he wouldn't get anything out of her just yet, he held her steadily as he sat down, and here and there she was mumble something like, "Sister," and "Mother." She was still too inaudible for him to know what she meant.
Finally, after about ten minutes of this, he said, "Come on now, deep breaths. That's right. Take deep breaths, it's all right. Relax." He brushed a few strands of flyaway hair from her face, which was now red and covered in tears, and said, "You think you can tell me what happened?" She nodded slowly, hiccupping a bit, then breathed deeper, "I...I think so." She inhaled a few more times, and Severus silently wanted to hit Adrian for making her so upset, but he said nothing as she began.
"Adrian...Adrian was visiting just now, and I got tired of him giving me lip, so I told him off. I told him that Voldemort was after him, and that he should watch himself unless he wanted to get killed. Well he...he told me...he told me he was tired of me treating him like a little kid. He told me to leave him alone. And after he left, I...I realized that he was right. I've been treating him like a child, like he's my child or something, not like a sister. I should have been a sister to him, but I never was. Not after mum and dad died. I started treating him like he was my own, because I was afraid. But I never realized that it hurt his feelings that I never trusted him to...to take care of himself. I screwed up."
He could see that she was about to start crying again, and he tried to stem the urge, "Hermione, crying won't help anything. Come on now, stop; if anything I should probably get Adrian so you two can discuss this..." "No, no, don't do that, we should just leave him alone for a while," she said, wiping away a few tears, "I know. Stuff like this has happened before; he needs to be by himself so he can think." "Come to think of it, so do you," he added dryly, helping her up.
She smiled, cheeks still puffy, "Thank you Severus." "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" he asked. She smiled wider, "No, thank you. Although I think I should have some tea or something to calm my nerves. I do need to think for a while, you're right. That'll help, I hope." He nodded as she added, "And I think I'm done grading papers for tonight. I think an early retire is in line." She let out an exasperated laugh, "I should probably just go to bed."
He escorted her down to their chambers, and she plopped down on the sofa, feeling exhausted. He snapped his fingers and a tray of tea and cups appeared on the coffee table. For a few minutes, Hermione drank her tea in silence, then finally she cleared her throat, "I'm so exhausted and worried Severus. I hate this." He sat down beside her, "Why is that?" he asked, although he knew the answer. "Adrian," she replied sullenly, "as usual. Something in his eyes this evening; there was something in his eyes that I can't explain, but I was frightened by it. He's involved in things that I'm afraid of, I know he is; he never says it, but I know the truth. I can always tell."
Severus put an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him, worry on her face. "I might try talking to him," he said softly, "see if he won't discuss this with someone else." Silently he suspected that something deeper than he knew was going on, and while he promised Hermione that he would talk to Adrian, he also promised himself that he would pay Lucius Malfoy a visit tomorrow morning.