Chap.16- Heart to Heart
Sydney stared at Bridgette's retreating back wondering, questioning, how Bridgette could have possibly known. She felt that she didn't exhibit any signs while she was in Bridgette's presence and she knew and sincerely hoped that Vaughn didn't tell her.
"Bridgette..."
Bridgette turned to see Sydney's face expressing shock and confusion. Bridgette smiled and walked back into the kitchen. She took Sydney by the hand and led her to the living room, sitting her down on the couch.
"No...Michael didn't tell me." Bridgette said, knowing what Sydney was thinking. "I hope know that he would not violate your privacy like that."
Sydney nodded, now ashamed that she had even doubted Vaughn's integrity and his good will towards her.
"It was wrong of me to assume..."
"Not at all," Bridgette intercepted kindly. "It is human nature."
"How did you know?"
Bridgette smiled wisely and knowingly.
"You cannot forget that I have a son myself and I can hear you in the bathroom at night."
"I woke you up? Oh, I'm so sorry..." Sydney told her apologetically.
Bridgette waved her off again and the two of them continued to chat easily almost as if they were old friends or mother and daughter, who had known each other all their lives.
"Tell me really. How is Lauren?" Bridgette asked, straying off their former topic.
"Honestly...I don't really know. I don't have the time to go and talk with her and I guess it would be awkward for Vaughn to come home and find myself and his wife talking about the featured recipe..."
"I understand." Bridgette said, nodding. She paused. "I hope that you don't find me too forward but, do you find it an inconvenience that my son is your neighbor?"
"Inconvenience...no. Amazing coincidence...yes."
"It is a bit uncanny how the world works, isn't it?"
"Yes..." Sydney answered, absentmindedly.
"Everything happens for a reason, my dear."
"Do you really believe that, Bridgette?"
"I wouldn't tell you if I didn't."
Bridgette started to get up from the couch, but Sydney caught Bridgette's hand and pushed her back onto the couch next to her. Bridgette looked questionly into Sydney's eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Bridgette."
"I'm not sure I understand, Sydney..."
"My mother...she...she was the one that killed your husband...I..."
"Sydney..."
"I feel responsible for her actions. I can't bear to be in this house, knowing that...knowing that it was because of me that Vaughn didn't have his father when he needed him the most..."
"Sydney." Bridgette cut in firmly, recognizing the look in Sydney's eyes as the one that she had seen earlier before in the week on the very first day they had met. "I know."
"What?"
"I know." She repeated. "I know...everything."
"How?"
"I'm sure that Michael has told you this numerous times, but it's not your fault. It's not your doing. Why should you be responsible for her actions? Why would you let her influence your life?" Bridgette answered, disregarding Sydney's question.
"She's my mother."
"Sydney, a mother isn't just the woman that gave birth to you. A mother has to be the woman that is there for you, that loves you, that would but your life before her own. Has your mother been all those things to you?"
Sydney sat in silence, her jaw clenched, her body tense, and her fingers turning white, her nails digging crescent shaped indentations into her palms. The hatred for her mother was growing by the second.
"No." She finally answered quietly and firmly.
Bridgette looked intently at Sydney's tense body and gently, she reached over and unclenched Sydney's hands.
"There is no reason to hate, Sydney. It is the past. No matter how much you despise your mother, it will not bring William back. It took me years and years to understand that time does go on."
Bridgette leaned over and hugged Sydney tightly, brushing her long brown hair lovingly. The two sat together, staring at the painting mounted in front of them in silence. Each woman's brain was whirling with questions, inquiries, comments, and answers. Finally, Bridgette broke the silence with a small laugh.
"What's so funny?" Sydney asked.
"It's funny how you never call my son, Michael. You always call him Vaughn."
"We do that at the agency..." Sydney started in explanation.
"I know...but it's not that." Bridgette told her. "Vaughn...was my name for William when we first got married. But, when my parents found out, they thought it was inappropriate and we were forced to go back to William, although he did always say that he liked Vaughn better..."
"What a coincidence..." Sydney remarked.
"No." Bridgette answered firmly. "You being my son's neighbor...that is coincidence. Everything else, the way our families are linked together, how you met, your pasts....that is not."
"What are you trying to say?" Sydney asked. She could hear the uncertainty in her own voice, her body shaking slightly, anticipating what Bridgette about to say.
"I'm saying that it's destiny."
Sydney looked away, her eyes closed in shock. It was happening too fast, the pieces were flying together too quickly, she couldn't keep up.
"Bridgette...you don't understand. I'm happily married. Vaughn is happily married. It's different, this time. We're not just fighting against a set of rules or protocol. It involves people, it's not just us. We're committed, bound."
"But tell me truthfully, Sydney, from your heart of hearts. Tell me that you don't have any feelings for my son at all?"
Sydney took Bridgette's two hands in her own and spoke as earnestly and truthfully as her mind would let her heart.
"I will always love Vaughn. He will always be my first love. He will always be on my mind. I will never stop wondering what it would be like to wake up next to him every morning. But I love my husband, Bridgette...and who's to say that even though I still have these feelings for Vaughn, that he'll have the same ones for me?"
Bridgette was silent, staring down at the floor. She withdrew her hands from Sydney's grasp and held them together, as if in prayer, holding them to her mouth, thinking hard. Finally, after her moment of deliberation, she brought her hands down and clasped them together. She lifted her head and stared straight into Sydney's steady gaze. After mentally apologizing to Vaughn, she opened her mouth to speak.
"You don't know how much anguish and pain that he has endured all these years, only to have you back in his life and not be able to have you...can you imagine how much that would hurt?"
"I KNOW how much that hurts."
"Then, can't you see how is marriage is falling apart? How their love is not mutual?"
"That's not fair, Bridgette."
"Why not? My son wouldn't even bring his wife to France for their honeymoon. Wouldn't he want her to see where he grew up? Where his roots are?"
"No..."
"Yes." Bridgette said firmly, taking Sydney by the shoulders. She lifted Sydney chin to make her meet her gaze. "He loves you, Sydney. You two are meant to be together. He told me so."
"It's not possible."
"Nothing is impossible, chére."
"You're forgetting, Bridgette! You've forgotten that I'm pregnant with another man's child. Regardless of these feelings that we have for each other, regardless of our 'destinies'... reality is biting at our heels, constantly reminding us that we'll never get away from it."
"Do not disregard destinies, Sydney."
"Destiny has done nothing but hurt me."
"Has Michael never told you about his father's watch?" Bridgette choked, desperate for Sydney to understand.
"It's a coincidence..."
"Before, I had thought that William had just told Michael that as a lesson of persistence. But Michael took his father's words seriously. He really set his heart on that watch and he had faith that his father was always right. I never really gave what he had said much thought until the day that the agency called and said that William wouldn't be coming home." Bridgette paused. "At the ceremony...Michael refused to hold my hand and it wasn't until we got home and I helped him take his coat off, that I discovered that he was holding the watch with both hands. The day that the watch stopped, he called me to tell me and I didn't believe him. I thought that there was no way there could be such a coincidence. But now, I see that William had been sincere. My eight-year-old son had more insight into the world than I did at that time...that was how adamant I was. I was just like you, Sydney. I wouldn't believe."
Author's Note: Hey! I haven't written an author's note in a while...so how was it?? Lol. I cried. I know, ima dork. Thank you to Jayme for that AWESOMELY huge review and the idea of the 'heart to heart' between Bridgette and Sydney (hence the title). But anyways, tell me how that was okay? I have a good surprise for you guys that I'm planning to write in the next chapter maybe. So, I'm hoping that'll be up soon. I'll try to get it done during this week because I'm going down to L.A. for the weekend and I unfortunately don't have a laptop.
Hehe. I've worked my way through the first two disks of Alias Season 1 and have four more disks to go...PLUS Alias Season 3 is starting REALLIE soon and Alias Season 2 is coming out in December!
Whoa.
Sydney stared at Bridgette's retreating back wondering, questioning, how Bridgette could have possibly known. She felt that she didn't exhibit any signs while she was in Bridgette's presence and she knew and sincerely hoped that Vaughn didn't tell her.
"Bridgette..."
Bridgette turned to see Sydney's face expressing shock and confusion. Bridgette smiled and walked back into the kitchen. She took Sydney by the hand and led her to the living room, sitting her down on the couch.
"No...Michael didn't tell me." Bridgette said, knowing what Sydney was thinking. "I hope know that he would not violate your privacy like that."
Sydney nodded, now ashamed that she had even doubted Vaughn's integrity and his good will towards her.
"It was wrong of me to assume..."
"Not at all," Bridgette intercepted kindly. "It is human nature."
"How did you know?"
Bridgette smiled wisely and knowingly.
"You cannot forget that I have a son myself and I can hear you in the bathroom at night."
"I woke you up? Oh, I'm so sorry..." Sydney told her apologetically.
Bridgette waved her off again and the two of them continued to chat easily almost as if they were old friends or mother and daughter, who had known each other all their lives.
"Tell me really. How is Lauren?" Bridgette asked, straying off their former topic.
"Honestly...I don't really know. I don't have the time to go and talk with her and I guess it would be awkward for Vaughn to come home and find myself and his wife talking about the featured recipe..."
"I understand." Bridgette said, nodding. She paused. "I hope that you don't find me too forward but, do you find it an inconvenience that my son is your neighbor?"
"Inconvenience...no. Amazing coincidence...yes."
"It is a bit uncanny how the world works, isn't it?"
"Yes..." Sydney answered, absentmindedly.
"Everything happens for a reason, my dear."
"Do you really believe that, Bridgette?"
"I wouldn't tell you if I didn't."
Bridgette started to get up from the couch, but Sydney caught Bridgette's hand and pushed her back onto the couch next to her. Bridgette looked questionly into Sydney's eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Bridgette."
"I'm not sure I understand, Sydney..."
"My mother...she...she was the one that killed your husband...I..."
"Sydney..."
"I feel responsible for her actions. I can't bear to be in this house, knowing that...knowing that it was because of me that Vaughn didn't have his father when he needed him the most..."
"Sydney." Bridgette cut in firmly, recognizing the look in Sydney's eyes as the one that she had seen earlier before in the week on the very first day they had met. "I know."
"What?"
"I know." She repeated. "I know...everything."
"How?"
"I'm sure that Michael has told you this numerous times, but it's not your fault. It's not your doing. Why should you be responsible for her actions? Why would you let her influence your life?" Bridgette answered, disregarding Sydney's question.
"She's my mother."
"Sydney, a mother isn't just the woman that gave birth to you. A mother has to be the woman that is there for you, that loves you, that would but your life before her own. Has your mother been all those things to you?"
Sydney sat in silence, her jaw clenched, her body tense, and her fingers turning white, her nails digging crescent shaped indentations into her palms. The hatred for her mother was growing by the second.
"No." She finally answered quietly and firmly.
Bridgette looked intently at Sydney's tense body and gently, she reached over and unclenched Sydney's hands.
"There is no reason to hate, Sydney. It is the past. No matter how much you despise your mother, it will not bring William back. It took me years and years to understand that time does go on."
Bridgette leaned over and hugged Sydney tightly, brushing her long brown hair lovingly. The two sat together, staring at the painting mounted in front of them in silence. Each woman's brain was whirling with questions, inquiries, comments, and answers. Finally, Bridgette broke the silence with a small laugh.
"What's so funny?" Sydney asked.
"It's funny how you never call my son, Michael. You always call him Vaughn."
"We do that at the agency..." Sydney started in explanation.
"I know...but it's not that." Bridgette told her. "Vaughn...was my name for William when we first got married. But, when my parents found out, they thought it was inappropriate and we were forced to go back to William, although he did always say that he liked Vaughn better..."
"What a coincidence..." Sydney remarked.
"No." Bridgette answered firmly. "You being my son's neighbor...that is coincidence. Everything else, the way our families are linked together, how you met, your pasts....that is not."
"What are you trying to say?" Sydney asked. She could hear the uncertainty in her own voice, her body shaking slightly, anticipating what Bridgette about to say.
"I'm saying that it's destiny."
Sydney looked away, her eyes closed in shock. It was happening too fast, the pieces were flying together too quickly, she couldn't keep up.
"Bridgette...you don't understand. I'm happily married. Vaughn is happily married. It's different, this time. We're not just fighting against a set of rules or protocol. It involves people, it's not just us. We're committed, bound."
"But tell me truthfully, Sydney, from your heart of hearts. Tell me that you don't have any feelings for my son at all?"
Sydney took Bridgette's two hands in her own and spoke as earnestly and truthfully as her mind would let her heart.
"I will always love Vaughn. He will always be my first love. He will always be on my mind. I will never stop wondering what it would be like to wake up next to him every morning. But I love my husband, Bridgette...and who's to say that even though I still have these feelings for Vaughn, that he'll have the same ones for me?"
Bridgette was silent, staring down at the floor. She withdrew her hands from Sydney's grasp and held them together, as if in prayer, holding them to her mouth, thinking hard. Finally, after her moment of deliberation, she brought her hands down and clasped them together. She lifted her head and stared straight into Sydney's steady gaze. After mentally apologizing to Vaughn, she opened her mouth to speak.
"You don't know how much anguish and pain that he has endured all these years, only to have you back in his life and not be able to have you...can you imagine how much that would hurt?"
"I KNOW how much that hurts."
"Then, can't you see how is marriage is falling apart? How their love is not mutual?"
"That's not fair, Bridgette."
"Why not? My son wouldn't even bring his wife to France for their honeymoon. Wouldn't he want her to see where he grew up? Where his roots are?"
"No..."
"Yes." Bridgette said firmly, taking Sydney by the shoulders. She lifted Sydney chin to make her meet her gaze. "He loves you, Sydney. You two are meant to be together. He told me so."
"It's not possible."
"Nothing is impossible, chére."
"You're forgetting, Bridgette! You've forgotten that I'm pregnant with another man's child. Regardless of these feelings that we have for each other, regardless of our 'destinies'... reality is biting at our heels, constantly reminding us that we'll never get away from it."
"Do not disregard destinies, Sydney."
"Destiny has done nothing but hurt me."
"Has Michael never told you about his father's watch?" Bridgette choked, desperate for Sydney to understand.
"It's a coincidence..."
"Before, I had thought that William had just told Michael that as a lesson of persistence. But Michael took his father's words seriously. He really set his heart on that watch and he had faith that his father was always right. I never really gave what he had said much thought until the day that the agency called and said that William wouldn't be coming home." Bridgette paused. "At the ceremony...Michael refused to hold my hand and it wasn't until we got home and I helped him take his coat off, that I discovered that he was holding the watch with both hands. The day that the watch stopped, he called me to tell me and I didn't believe him. I thought that there was no way there could be such a coincidence. But now, I see that William had been sincere. My eight-year-old son had more insight into the world than I did at that time...that was how adamant I was. I was just like you, Sydney. I wouldn't believe."
Author's Note: Hey! I haven't written an author's note in a while...so how was it?? Lol. I cried. I know, ima dork. Thank you to Jayme for that AWESOMELY huge review and the idea of the 'heart to heart' between Bridgette and Sydney (hence the title). But anyways, tell me how that was okay? I have a good surprise for you guys that I'm planning to write in the next chapter maybe. So, I'm hoping that'll be up soon. I'll try to get it done during this week because I'm going down to L.A. for the weekend and I unfortunately don't have a laptop.
Hehe. I've worked my way through the first two disks of Alias Season 1 and have four more disks to go...PLUS Alias Season 3 is starting REALLIE soon and Alias Season 2 is coming out in December!
Whoa.