Geez, this is depressing. Which kinda sucks because this is the last I think I can write for a while. Dad decided he didn't want cable internet any more and the guys are coming to pick up the modem tomorrow. I'm gonna fight them off best as I can, but I can only do so much. I'm 5'2, after all.
So this is a bad place to be leaving you, but I haven't even written chapter eight yet. But yes, this is the sad part of the story. 'All Hail The Heartbreaker' (property of The Spill Canvas, not moi.) is a sad, albeit good, song. The last chapter could come in a week or in a month, quite frankly I have no idea.
It may look like there's gonna be sex in this chapter, but hold out. Everyone in this story remains celibate. Or at least I think. I'm not writing any sex into it. I'm not saying some of the characters didn't… er… go off on their own, but that was on their time. Not mine.
So if lemon freaks you out, glance at the rating. It will remain PG-13. And that's a mild one, too. If Kari hadn't let that f-bomb slip in chapter 3, it probably could have been PG. Oh well.
Reviewers' Notes at the end…
I Melt With You
"So, do you miss me?" Matt asked her, cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder what seemed like a million miles away.
"Not yet," she lied, "You're only about an hour from here."
"I miss you." He murmured, watching as the movers centered his couch on the living room wall. "How's Yolei?"
She laughed, "Like you care. But anyways, she's in heavy pursuit of Davis as of late."
"He interested?"
"Are you kidding?" she chuckled, "He's avoiding her like a disease. Actually, I'm going over there tonight."
"Yolei's?"
"No, Davis's."
"Oh."
"I'd better get going, then. Are you guys still playing Charlie's this weekend?"
"Yeah."
"I'll see you then, okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you."
"Love you, too."
She hung up the phone, a statistic she had read somewhere sticking in her mind: most relationships where one party goes to college and the other is still in high school don't last. 'It's unlikely,' the article had said. He had thousands of college girls at his feet, she had no one there to protect her. Not that she needed protecting, anyway.
He didn't sound too happy… maybe he's hiding something, she pondered while she pulled a baggy blue sweater over her head. He couldn't be cheating on me already? It's too soon. Right? "It's never too soon," she said glumly, "Thousands of college girls at his feet."
"Mom, I'm going to Davis's house!" she called, grabbing her purse on the way out. She had inherited Tai's old car when he had moved out two weeks earlier and no longer needed to wait for a ride from Mimi or take the subway, which despite the fact that she was without a brother, was pretty cool.
She parked the car in front of Davis's house, left her purse in the car, and knocked on his door. "Yolei!" she heard from inside, "Out! I mean it, Kari's here!"
"Come on, Davis! I'm friends with her too…"
"No! Put that down, Yolei, now!"
Crash!
"Damn it, Yolei! My mother's gonna kill me! That was her favorite lamp!"
"She'll never know… I'll clean it up, honest!"
"No… you… won't! Get… out!"
The door swung open as a wide-eyed Yolei stepped out, "Oh, hi Kari." Yolei was covered, head to toe in what looked like powdered sugar and had a glob of something sticky and brown in her hair. "We were making brownies!" she said cheerfully, "They're still in the oven, but you can have some when they're done. Byyyyye Davis!"
Kari stepped in, surveying the damage that was the Motomiya family apartment. "That bad? She never did this to our house."
"Your parents never left her alone there," Davis muttered, cleaning some of the sticky mass out of his ear.
She giggled, "True. How long are they gone for?"
"The whole weekend. If I'm lucky, I might have this cleaned up by then."
"Don't worry, Dai, I'll help."
Even with Kari's help, it took the two well over an hour to restore the house to its usual order. There was gobs of the brown mass that Yolei had passed off as brownie batter everywhere imaginable, powdered sugar spread throughout the bathroom, and shards of lamp scattered about the living room. Once they had finished, Kari sat on the couch and promptly began going through Davis's DVDs.
"Look what I've got…" he said, entering the room with a fancy-looking bottle of wine.
Kari almost burst out laughing, "Where'd you get that?"
"Eh, it's my parents'. They've had it in the cupboard for years, it won't be missed."
She looked at him apprehensively, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," he waved her off. Grinning, he popped the cork of the bottle, sending it flying full-force at Kari. She shrieked and ducked just in time for it to bounce against the couch. He took a big drink right from the bottle and wiped his mouth, laughing.
"Gross! You'd better not have backwashed, Davis! I want mine in a glass." She said, disgusted.
He extended the bottle to her, "Wussy."
"I'm not a wuss," she protested. Davis looked indifferent. "Fine," she breathed, taking the bottle from him and taking a swig of her own. "See?"
"Admirable." He flopped onto the couch next to her and clicked the remote, beginning some lame horror film they'd each seen a thousand times. The bottle was passed back and forth quite a few times and by the time the first hour had passed, neither party was paying the slightest bit of attention to the television screen.
"You know what?" Kari asked, turning to face him.
"Huh?"
"I think Matt's cheating on me," she announced, setting the half-empty bottle of wine on the coffee table.
He scooted closer to her tentatively, "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Well… how come?"
"Ugh, I dunno. He's acting so… detached lately. More than usual, I mean."
He edged closer yet again, "How does that make you feel?"
"You sound like a shrink," she said bitterly, picking up the bottle again. She looked at it for a few moments before raising the bottle back to her lips, "Pissed, I guess." She punctuated this statement with a long drink from the bottle.
Still clinging to an inch of sobriety, Davis placed his hand on the bottle, "Whoa. I think you've had enough."
She snatched it back. "I'll tell you when I've had enough."
"Whatever," he sighed, leaning back against the couch.
To her surprise as much as his, she leaned back with him, pressing her mouth to his. It wasn't a simple or sweet kiss as the one he had forced upon her in the street, but a passionate, hungry one tasting as much of wine as another drink from the bottle would have.
Moving quickly on equal parts alcohol, passion, and vengeance, the two quickly found themselves horizontal on the couch and moving fast. Their contact hardly broke as she sat the bottle gently on the table, not spilling a drop. Almost immediately, she pulled the sweater over her head, leaving her only in a flimsy pink tank top, fingers eagerly dancing over the buttons on Davis's button-down shirt.
As if her fingers were on fire, he jumped back, rolling out from under her, "We don't need to do this."
"Yes we do," Kari giggled, leaning back over him, "Don't think about it," she whispered, beginning to unbutton his shirt. Knowing there was no use protesting, Davis succumbed and sat back on the couch as she removed the shirt. "There, that's better, isn't it?"
"Sure," he mumbled, still feeling guilty.
Tossing the shirt onto the ground, she leaned in hungrily for another kiss. The poor boy had no choice but to return it. Sure, he had always wanted Kari, but it wasn't supposed to be like this.
She pressed her body to his, forcing him back into the same position on the couch. Her left arm curving around his shoulder, she pulled off the tank top, leaving herself clad only in a white bra. Davis shut his eyes, suitably embarrassed. This went on for a little south of ten minutes, her kissing him passionately, hands roving about his body, him too terrified to do anything but even more terrified to pull away. At this point it was clear to him, regardless of the haze the alcohol was casting over his brain, that their friendship would probably never be the same again.
But the terror vanished the instant her fingers touched the button on his jeans. Davis flinched and twisted away as if her fingers had been engulfed in flames. "Whoa," he stammered, his head returning slightly, "You've got a boyfriend."
"He'll never know," she purred, making another blind swipe at his fly.
Davis rubbed his forehead, already beginning to get a slight headache, "I'm not gonna do this. Not now. You're drunk… I'm drunk."
"I'm not drunk," she hiccupped.
Deciding not to dignify this with an answer, the shirtless boy stood up, watching as the living room did a sickeningly dizzy spin before his eyes, "We've gotta get you to bed."
She nodded her head, "I feel a little sick."
"A little?"
"Yes."
He took her hand and began to walk in the direction of his bedroom, confused when she didn't follow him. "Kari? Come on." She took a few stumbling steps, going, of course, in the complete wrong direction and coming to a collapse on the couch. Sighing, Davis picked the girl up, marveling at how light she was in his arms. He walked her to the bedroom, watching as her eyes fluttered open and closed, slipping in and out of consciousness as he lay her in his bed.
"Davis?" he heard as he turned to leave the room.
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me goodnight?"
This time, the kiss tasted like nothing. Because that's what it was.
Kari awoke late the next morning, looked around at the soccer posters on the walls, shirts strewn across the floor, and dirty socks draped over the TV, then down at her body, clad only in a thin camisole and underwear, and screamed at the top of her lungs.
This, of course, brought Davis running. "You're awake," he said enthusiastically.
"Did you rape me?"
"What?"
"You heard me, Motomiya. Did you rape me?"
He chuckled casually, "Of course not."
"Then why am I at your house? What the hell happened last night?" she demanded.
His eyebrows shot sky-high as he sat next to her on the bed, "You don't remember?"
"I came over…" she started, picking at her brain, "We had wine… and then… I don't know. Did you drug me or something?"
"You sorta drugged yourself and…"
"And what?"
Davis looked down nervously, not wanting to meet her eyes, "You kissed me. You kissed me a lot."
She sunk back into the pillow, "Anything else?"
He shook his head, "You wanted to. I didn't."
There was a long silence, "Oh God…" she said finally. "What will Matt say?"
"I know what he'll say. He'll ask you if you want me to make some eggs."
Despite the overwhelming ocean of guilt she was drowning in, she smiled, "That'd be nice." He started to leave the room, but she stopped him, "Davis?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for taking care of me last night."
He smiled and headed for the door again, "And Davis?" she said again.
"Yeah?"
"I love you." And she meant it.
Jun Motomiya could not believe what she was hearing. Her own brother had gotten Matt Ishida's girlfriend drunk and made out with her last night? She couldn't have made it more perfect if she tried. From the other side of her brother's door, she heard footsteps; he was leaving the room. It was time to get out - and now. But she had heard all she needed to hear, and she was certain Matt would love to hear it too.
Is guilt something you can see? Kari wondered as she re-checked her reflection in the grimy bathroom mirror at Charlie's that night. With the exception of the fallen look on her face, she looked pretty much the same. With a little effort, she forced a smile onto her pale lips. Perfect. Or at least close to it. In the mirror, she was the same old Kari. Not the one who had fooled around with her best friend immediately after her boyfriend left for college. That Kari was hiding behind her pearly white teeth.
Turning back to the mirror a third time, she studied her face slowly, as if it was still impossible to believe what she had done was not spelled out on her forehead. Because if it is, I'm screwed.
A final fleeting glance and a nervous, gasping breath and she was out the door into the dimly lit bar.
No sooner than she had slid onto the stool at the two-person table she now shared with Ken, as Yolei and Sora had sworn off the shows after their respective breakups, the four members of Squalor trudged onto the small stage. It didn't take much to see they were distressed.
"Mind if I join you?" asked a perky voice behind them. Kari and Ken turned to find Jun, Davis's wild-haired older sister leaning against their table, wearing her usual red and blue Squalor tshirt. All of their friends had purchased a shirt, simply to help the band out, but Jun was the only person Kari had ever seen wearing one. And she wore it often.
"Nah," Kari said, smiling cheerfully at Jun as if she hadn't woken up in her apartment that morning with a major hangover and faint recollections of hooking up with her younger brother.
Jun pulled up an extra chair and was about to say something when Tai spoke into his microphone. "Uh, good evening everyone…" He never quite had the charisma required to be a front man, but was a pretty respectable guitarist. "This, well, this'll be our last show tonight. Due to… well, creative differences, Squalor has decided to call it quits."
A collective gasp rose from the audience. A single tear fell from Jun's right eye. Kari's eyes darted to Matt, standing sullenly next to his brother. He was usually the one who introduced the shows and would absolutely be the one to make an announcement like this. What timing… it couldn't be because of… no way, that's impossible.
"So this is gonna be our last show with Matt, here." Tai placed a hand stiffly on his friend's shoulder. "But, come fall, the rest of us… well, TK, Izzy, and I are thinking of starting a new band…" A cheer swept the audience; Squalor had a small, but dedicated following that was probably disappointed to hear about Matt, but relieved their band was still going to be around. If only partially.
Oh God - it is me, Kari thought, earnestly trying to make eye contact with Matt to no avail. How was it that he could look everywhere except at her? Like she was in a black hole torn in his vision, invisible from ten feet away.
But how could he know?
The question burned like a torch in her mind: Davis would never tell. Ever. And she sure as hell didn't tell anyone. So who could it have been? No one else was there. Or were they?
Without lifting her head, Kari flicked her glance over to the smiling figure of Jun next to her, smiling along as if nothing was new. And nothing was.
Jun.
By the end of the band's set, there wasn't a doubt in Kari's mind that Jun had heard something and spilled it all to Matt. And why wouldn't she? It wasn't exactly a secret that she had been after Matt for years now. A part of her wanted to be mad; to scream, to yell at Jun, but another part knew she deserved it. She brought this on herself.
One by one, the band members set down their instruments and exited the stage, Izzy, TK, Tai… each flashing a humble smile and a tiny wave to the crowd, knowing they would soon return, maybe with a little less glory and a little rougher sound, but return all the same. Everyone watched expectantly as Matt stood, alone on the stage, much as he had all those months ago as he professed his, well, like for her. As she watched, Kari harbored a sickening feeling in her stomach that told her this could very well just be the opposite.
"I dunno if this is allowed or what, but I think I'm just gonna borrow about five minutes of your time as a farewell; a swan song of sorts." The crowd murmured its approval and Matt hopped offstage, produced a small metal stool, and dropped it front and center. Kari's knuckles turned white grasping the edge of the table, knowing full well what was coming.
"How many of you out there have had your hearts broken before?" he asked, nodding as a good two-thirds of the crowd raised their hands, Jun included. She flashed one final smile to Kari, savoring the moment the younger girl's head was resting on the chopping block. All he had to do was bring down the blade now.
"You never see it coming, do you? You trust someone, think they trust you, too. But that's all shit, isn't it?" He was looking directly at Kari now, making no secret of it either.
Ken leaned across the table, "What is he talking about, Kari?"
She didn't respond, watched as if in a daze as Matt continued on onstage; eyes boring holes right through her. She couldn't bear to look away.
"And that's how I was. I'm sorry to say, folks, but I can relate. And I don't know if you know it; if I have to say it or what, but it's over, right? That's how it goes when you find someone new. I guess I just wish you would have told me first."
The crowd 'Oooh'-ed at this one, a few of them clapping in agreement. They've had their hearts broken before. Everyone's got a story.
But Matt isn't done: "So I guess we'll just end this one the way it started: me and my guitar."
When he starts playing, the song is a little faster; feigning happiness. It almost sounds as if this was all a joke, nothing's wrong. Squalor is still Squalor. Kari never took that first sip, there was certainly no need for a second. But all of this is shattered when Matt starts singing…
/Had the notion that you'd make me change my ways/
/And the bad habits would be gone in a matter of days/
/I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes/
/To a whole new world that's since been in disguise/
/But that day will most likely never come for me/
/And it's just my luck to end up/
/Getting stuck to everything you are/
/She truth is tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures/
/And overanalyze your words/
/That I've never fallen so hard/
/It's taking everything in me/
/Just to forget your sweater so far/
/I had the notion that/
/You'd make me forget the world/
/But your undecisive mind/
/Shows me that you are just another girl/
/I had the feeling that those/
/Looks you gave me were real/
/What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams/
/Maybe then you'd know how I feel/
/But that day will most likely never come for me/
/And it's just my luck to end up/
/Getting stuck to everything you are/
/So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures/
/And overanalyze your words/
/The truth is that I've never fallen so hard/
/It's taking everything in me/
/Just to forget your sweater so far/
/I can honestly say/
/That I never ever ever felt this way/
/Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin/
/These are the parts of your body/
/That cause my comatose to begin/
/I will sleep another day/
/I don't really need to anyway/
/What's the point/
/When my dreams are infected with words you used to say/
/I will breathe in a moment/
/As long as i keep my distance/
/I wouldn't wanna go messing anything up/
/So don't go worrying about me/
/It's not like I think about you constantly/
/So maybe I do…/
/But that shouldn't affect your life anymore/
/I knew it the moment you walked into the door/
/And I'll let you get the best of me/
/Cause there's nothing else that i do well/
/I'll be the giver, you'll be the taker/
/I guess that's how this one's gonna go/
/I'll be the giver, you'll be the taker/
/You got me down on my knees and I proclaim…/
/All hail the heartbreaker/
At the last note, he picked up his guitar and walked offstage, leaving stool and microphone alone as the audience applauded wildly. Truth was, he couldn't care less. There was supposed to be something different about this, about them. He wasn't gonna cheat on her and likewise. People could think what they wanted, but it wasn't gonna affect them.
He slung his guitar over his shoulder, pushed the back door open and stepped outside into the late summer night air; the image of her face as he played the song burned into his mind. She seemed so sad, as if she had no idea. What if Jun was lying? he asked himself, picking up his pace a little, hoping to make the 11 o'clock train.
Impossible, he answered quickly, Kari would have said something. She cheated on you, man, face it. It wasn't supposed to happen, that was for sure. But if it did, it wasn't supposed to hurt this bad.
He stopped, blinking vigorously in an attempt to quell the tear forming in his right eye. "There's something in my eye," he said aloud, as if someone was watching. But you can only lie to yourself for so long. He blinked a final time and the tear tumbled out of his eye, making a miniscule splash on the sidewalk. "Something in my eye," he muttered a second time and continued down the street.
Yakari Taito - I'm glad you liked the chapter; it isn't one of my favorites, as I'm more of a fan of the dark, depressing stuff, like this chapter. But thanks for reposting all of those parts because they reminded me that once in a while I can be kind of funny. Rare, but true sometimes. I totally forgot about the robot dance! Dear me, that's totally my mom…
Lets-Play-With-Matches - Actually, the song isn't THAT special to me… it just fit the bill it seems. I've actually been a Counting Crows fan for… wow, as long as I can remember. So it's not just the song, which I'm a little sick of because my sister plays it all the time, it's more the band I like. But you wouldn't have offended me anyways. Stuff like that doesn't bug me. But thanks for your consideration!!
Mr. Mann - It wasn't really in the story. I meant for it to sort of just be implied. Tai and Yolei's break up was supposed to be implied also, but it just fit with Chapter 6. And we have the Joe question again. I think he was originally in, but… well, I have an afore mentioned Davis bias. I also have a Joe bias. If I had to pick a least favorite character, it would be Joe. I don't hate him, he was just boring. I hated all the stupid thrown-in subplots of the first season. So he hasn't played a major part in any of my stories yet. Anyways, thanks for the review. Tee hee.
Sen-Tay - You called it. So far, the lamp has been the only casualty caused by my one-sided Daiyako, but we've got another chapter to go… (evil laugh) See, I'm not a hopeless romantic. I would be pretty freaked out if someone carved my initials into a bathroom door. Doubly so if they gave me jewelry.
PK - Brownie batter and a shattered lamp. That live up to your expectations?
As I said… hoping to update this more soon, but it's not looking good. I'll try to get chapter 8 out as soon as I can.
Reviews and lovin' are appreciated!