The Bachelor Chapter 7
Hermione watched with some interest as Blaise came back from her date and the other girls positively radiated jealousy. "Well, how was it?" Hannah asked coolly.
"It was perfect," Blaise gushed, smiling broadly. "And check this out." She held up a glowing ruby necklace, which Hermione had to admit was very nice. "He has the best taste in jewelry, don't you think?" Blaise asked nonchalantly. Hermione rolled her eyes. Blaise was just asking for trouble.
"Well, when do you think the next date box will arrive?" she interrupted, just in case another fight broke out among the Malfoy-crazy girls.
"Tomorrow morning," Lavender declared. "Hope I get the individual date."
Hermione heard muttering all over the room, protesting this last statement.
Suddenly Millicent spoke up. "Girls, how should we pass the time till tomorrow?" she wondered.
"By sleeping, of course," Hermione snapped as she got up to go to bed.
"Oh, sit back down, Hermione," chided Parvati playfully. "I know just the thing."
Even Rose, who had been busy painting her toenails ("florescent fuchsia!" she called it happily) looked up, eyes sparkling with excitement when she heard Parvati's plan.
Hermione, however, was non-supportive. "No. Bloody. Way."
"Yes! Oh, come on, Hermione," pleaded Hannah. "You are so secretive and since we've been your roommates for like, forever, can you please, please, please tell us?"
"We need to know something about you," cut in another girl.
Hermione suddenly realized that she was trapped. There were girls on every side of her, girls demanding to know her personal life thanks to Parvati's smashing idea of "finding out more about Hermione's love life". Why they liked to pick on her, Hermione didn't know. Was it just too much to ask to be able to read a blasted book in peace? Or maybe sleep, however odd it was for these girls to sleep at eleven-thirty?
She sighed. There was no way out. She could either tell them the truth and have them laugh at every blunder she'd made, or she could lie fantastically and have them spread stories. Either way, the options were far less than appealing.
"Okay," she said in defeat. "What do you want to know?"
"Hmm, I'll start," Hannah said with a wicked looking grin. "How many boyfriends have you had?"
Hermione felt herself tinge pink. "Um," she said intelligently. "Er…what do you count as a 'boyfriend'?" Maybe they'd let her include Harry. After all, he had been a boy…and a friend.
"Someone who you can share every detail with…" began Lavender.
"Someone who whispers sweet nothings in your ear…"
"Someone who confides in you…"
"Someone you can kiss at any mo—"
Hermione had had enough. "None," she growled angrily. "None. None. Laugh all you want. I've got my science. It keeps my feet on the ground so I don't get swept away by stupid romantic fantasies!"
Hermione stormed out of the room, slamming the door noisily behind her. She nearly smirked when she saw the flabbergasted girls, their expressions frozen in time, but she could not stand it anymore. How dare they taunt her with all this 'sweet nothings' rot when they knew perfectly well that the only thing she'd ever come close to marrying was her book bag?
It was the whole reason her mother had sent her on this blasted show, and for a second, she'd actually believed that just maybe she'd find Mr. Right. Well, the Mr. Right dreams could just fly out the window, because the only man here was Malfoy. Enough said.
Hermione had a restless night, haunted by nightmares of an old maid, unmarried, who kept staring at all the awards she'd won in her youth…Hermione woke up screaming. The woman had been a carbon copy of Hermione except for the odd wrinkles all over her body.
"What's wrong?" Millicent asked groggily from the bed across.
"Oh, nothing," Hermione said, feeling drained. Gods. What if she really did end up like that?
For the rest of the night, Hermione tossed and turned. The old woman's cackle kept coming back to her.
The next morning, Hermione woke early and quickly dressed, rushing down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Coffee had been her first love, having discovered it one night studying late for a Potions exam.
Around midday, a yelp alerted the rest of them about the arrival of a date box. Hermione nearly snorted when she saw who was holding it—a Hannah with green goop all over her face and a shoddy pink bathrobe. "Okay, girls," Hannah declared. "Gather round."
All the girls immediately dropped what they were doing. The tension in the room was high, and Hermione noticed that many of the girls sent each other death glares. "All right…this date's for Lavender, Hermione, and Millicent."
"Where's it to?" asked Lavender at the same time as Millicent, who asked "Who gets the individual date?"
"Don't break your broomsticks," Hannah said acidly. Hermione could tell she was rather jealous that she hadn't been able to go on a three-person date. "Individual date goes to Millicent, and you are all going to explore at tiny old village that's now in ruins. It's near Hogsmeade."
Millicent and Lavender made disgusted faces but Hermione could have jumped for joy. "Yes!" she exclaimed happily. "I think I learnt about this village in my Ancient Runes class, it's called Boarsmeade, isn't it? Hogsmeade's name after it, correct? Ooh, yes, I've wanted to see this since I was twelve!"
The girls gaped. Hermione was in her element. They'd never seen her this excited before. Until three, when Malfoy was coming by to pick them up, Hermione remained rather jovial, shooting everyone smiles and even wondering how she should do her hair.
Sooner or later, Malfoy showed up and Lavender and Millicent, who'd been rather depressed, quickly brightened up and raced up to him. "Draco," Lavender said seductively. Millicent shot her a noxious look. "Baby," she cooed.
Hermione wanted to laugh. Malfoy looked like he wanted to melt into the ground. "Are you all ready to go?" he asked. Millicent and Lavender both nodded and tried to exit the door at the same time, which did not bring pleasant results. Due to Millicent's slight weight problem, the two of them were stuck in the doorway until Malfoy pulled from one side and Hermione pushed from the other.
They traveled in a small carriage towards the village. One person could sit up front with Malfoy and two sat in the back. "Well, you can all get about thirty minutes up front with me," Malfoy said snottily.
It started up with Lavender going to sit in the front. Luckily, there was some sort of barrier between the front and the back so neither Hermione or Millicent could see any sort of "activities". Hermione was pretty sure that things had escalated beyond 'talking' level. Millicent was not pleased at this arrangement. "Oh, merlin," she sighed. "I want to see what my baby is up to!"
"Millicent," Hermione explained patiently. "Malfoy is a player. He'll screw Lavender, but don't worry, he'll screw you too."
Millicent frowned in confusion, but suddenly the light came and she smiled. "Oh," she said slowly. "Okay, cool."
The rest of the thirty minutes passed rather slowly and soon Millicent (who had threatened Hermione with bodily harm if she didn't allow her to go up next) exchanged places with Lavender.
"So, how was it?" Hermione asked, trying to make some sort of conversation. Even if it was conversation about Malfoy.
"Lovely," Lavender said dreamily. "He's an excellent kisser. You really should try it sometime, Hermione."
Hermione tried to erase the last statement. "I thought you wanted him all for yourself?"
"Oh, yeah, that's at the end," Lavender stated airily. "But right now, every girl should be able to enjoy…mmm."
Hermione could tell that Lavender had gone off on some fantasy or the other and did not probe any further. Although the girls were not aware, there was a such thing known as "too much information".
The thirty minutes seemed to go by a little too fast for Hermione. Before she knew it, an angry looking Millicent was telling Hermione that it was her turn, even though Hermione didn't exactly deserve a turn with "my baby".
Hermione clambered up front to where Malfoy sat. He smirked at her as she took her place next to him. Neither said a word. Hermione immediately decided that she would not be the one to break the silence.
"So, tell me a little bit about yourself," Malfoy started.
Hermione glared at him. "Oh, stuff it, ferret."
Malfoy scowled in mock-outrage. "You get turned into a ferret once and nobody drops it," he said darkly.
Hermione snorted. "You made a better ferret than a human being."
"Ouch. Granger, you can really hurt a man. Is that why you're here? Did mummy darling want her baby Granger to come and get a husband?"
Hermione had had enough. She raised her arm to slap him across his stupid pale face but he was too quick for her. Crushing her arm beneath his grip, he smirked.
"Granger, Granger, Granger," he began, his eyes gleaming maliciously.
Hermione snorted. "Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. If you don't release me right now I'm crying abuse."
He dropped her arm like it was Skele-Gro. "Shut up."
"So, Malfoy," she began tartly, "have you discovered a girl here which you would love to make Mrs. Malfoy? Wouldn't it be nice to find a girl who'd sleep with the next log in order to eventually get to marry you?"
Hermione was surprised that Malfoy did not retaliate. Instead he launched into what could only be called deep thought. "They do like me, don't they," he finally said. Hermione could trace a small sliver of humor in his voice.
"That's an understatement."
"So, Granger, what do they say about me?"
Hermione was armed with a crude comment of her own liking, but suddenly an image of the old woman she could become flickered in front of her and she bit it back. "Loads of stuff," she finally managed to get out.
"As in…?" he asked, and for once the voice did not hold any contempt. "My charming personality, sumptuously excellent looks, exquisite features, han—"
"Narcissistic attitude, humongous ego, ple—"
"Whatever, Granger. Just tell me what they said."
Hermione let out a huge, phony sigh. "Well, you're right," she finally said. "They simply worship you. They worship the ground you walk on. I bet a couple of them would die to own a lock of your perfect hair."
But Malfoy wasn't really listening. His eyes were gleaming as if Christmas had come early. "You called my hair perfect!"
Hermione scowled as she realized her blunder. "Er," she said. "You heard wrong."
"Nope. My hearing is excellent. You called my hair perfect!"
"It is not perfect," Hermione snapped, apprehending that with every word she only inflated his already massive ego even further.
"You might as well give up, Granger. I'm never going to forget that."
"Lovely. I'll be forever happy to know that you'll always remember me."
"I will not. I plan on forgetting you the moment this rot is all over."
"Well you don't sound too happy to be here after all. What's this? Playboy Malfoy is sick and tired of too many women?"
"Am not!"
"Yes, you are. You want me to help you, don't you. That's why you keep bloody asking me what girl did what and who said what about you and all that. Am I right?"
Malfoy stared at her, looking livid. Hermione smirked. "Well, it's true, isn't it?" she asked, as if commenting about the weather.
Malfoy seemed to audibly swallow his anger and looked at her stonily. "Okay, Granger, truce. If you help me occasionally, telling me stuff about the girls and who's done what and all that, then I…will…"
"Will what? Will you soar through the air screaming "I'm a bloody prick who will forever worship Hermione"? Will you scre-"
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Granger. I'll just be nicer to you and maybe we can continue through this thing civilly."
"Now there's a big word, Malfoy. Where'd you learn it?" Hermione asked acerbically. But it was too much. The prospect of getting through this thing without committing murder was actually a happy one, and she grinned. "All right then," she said jokingly. "We'll call it a truce. And I'll tell you dirt on the girls, then."
"Excellent."
Hermione was surprised to see that she hadn't even thought about wrapping her fingers around his throat during the entire ride. And finally, they were there! Hermione nearly fainted from the excitement of seeing the small village.
Out of nowhere, a tour guide popped out, quite literally. "Hello!" he said jovially, looking at the group—two of which looked utterly depressed, one who was maniacally happy and one who looked like he couldn't care less—"Welcome to Boarsmeade. It was once home to goblins, you know, and the interesting artifacts they left behind…"
Draco and the girls watched Hermione's face instead of listening to the tour guide rattle off about the different battles fought in Boarsmeade. Hermione looked absolutely enraptured, her breathing rapid and shallow with excitement. The three of them rolled their eyes. "Typical," Draco muttered, although it didn't really bother him that much that Granger was very into history. In fact, it was kind of nice to see such a change versus the other girls who studied the art of makeup, clothing, and accessories.
Lavender and Millicent fumed. It was so boring, and they weren't getting any time with "my baby!" declared Millicent huffily. "This is such a stupid village," Millicent said, sighing, looking directly at Draco.
He nodded uncomfortably. Truth be told, she was a tad bit terrifying. Just a tad.
The afternoon passed quickly and soon the four of them were dining in Boarsmeade's claim to fame—The Goblin Getaway, restaurant extraordinaire.
"Oooh!" Lavender exclaimed as they each breathed in the overdone decorating. "Look at that! Pictures of goblins!"
Hermione sighed. "Honestly, Lavender, didn't you listen to a word? The village was founded by goblins! Of course they'd have pictures of them!"
From across her, Malfoy smirked. Millicent immediately zoned in on him. "Baby!" she exclaimed happily.
Hermione snorted. Poor Malfoy, oops, poor baby.
Soon Hermione and Lavender bade the two goodbye, and Hermione had to laugh when she saw the trace of fear on Malfoy's face. Oh, was he in for a night.
Predictably, the girls clamored around for details when Lavender and Hermione got home. "How'd it go?" one demanded.
Lavender smiled. "Oh, it was so great. The village was so interesting. It was so perfect."
Hermione looked at her with surprise and nearly had a fit. They tried to make each other jealous! Lavender didn't have the greatest time; in fact, she'd found it all rather boring and probably thought the best part was the trip up with Malfoy. After a while, Millicent came home as well, and although Hermione hated to admit it, she really did want to know what torture Millicent had put Malfoy through.
"Girls, it was absolutely fantastic!" Millicent said contentedly.
"Give me, like, every single dirty detail!" Parvati yelled loudly. And so Millicent's saga began.
Of course, she'd embellished on half the things ( "he couldn't stop looking at me the entire night!") but Hermione knew some of the story was actually fact, such as "he totally listened to whatever I had to say and he was so, incredibly nice!"
Yes. Malfoy was absolutely petrified of Millicent. It was really stinking hilarious, actually.
The next day, the last three girls went on their date to a small Scottish pub, and came back drunk and giddy but nonetheless very excited to have spent some time with the "hunk!". Time really had passed rather quickly and before Hermione knew it, it was time for the rose ceremony.
Kathy Silver waltzed in and shot the girls a competitive smile. "Well," she began happily. "Only six of you get to stay now. Four of you will be eliminated. Are you ready?"
"I am so pumped," confirmed Blaise.
The girls traipsed after Kathy into the pretty elimination room, Hermione bringing up the rear.
Malfoy stood there with a small smirk on his face which he quickly wiped away as the girls entered. They took their positions and he began his customary speech. "This has been the most difficult decision so far. Each and every one of you mean something special to me…"
And yada yada yada. Hermione tuned him out, knowing full well that he knew exactly who he was going to pick. She wasn't nervous; she knew he'd pick her—after all, she now had the job of Advice Columnist, didn't she?
He picked up the first rose tenderly and Hermione fought back the urge to yell "Get on with it already!". The first name he called was "Millicent, will you accept this rose?"
Millicent nearly leapt with joy. "Oh, baby!" she cried happily and ensnared him in a hug. Hermione couldn't tell if she was dreaming or not but Malfoy looked like he was choking.
And so they went through the other four names—Hannah, Parvati, Blaise, and Lavender—before getting to the last one. Five girls were left, including Hermione, Rose and Xandy.
Despite her confidence, Hermione was getting a tad bit jittery. What if he didn't pick her? That wouldn't be bad, she reasoned to herself. After all, she'd get away from here and resume her normal, boring life. But boring was the key word. Being with all these girls was actually…kind of…entertaining.
"Hermione." Hermione smiled and went to accept the rose, though of course she didn't give him the customary hug. The two of them looked directly into each other's eyes and Hermione could feel the spark of a challenge.
So she was staying here to help him make his decision, but that didn't mean that she could still have some fun while she was at it. After all, she still hadn't gotten him back for the incident at L'Acqua.
A/N: Well, to make up for the long time it took me to update, I gave you a very long chapter! Sorry, I had exams and was generally quite busy! But hope the long chapter was satisfactory—tell me in a review, please. They're great motivation and every time I get one I'm really pleased.
Recommended fics:
Delusion by burgundyred. Hilarious plot-line, seriously!
Examinations by luckdragon. It's just started but it's really cute!
Crazy Lunatic Experiments by ILUVRONWEASLEY. This is really crazy but quite funny!
Please, don't forget to review. Expect next update much sooner than this one, and I'm out.